Write to me to let me know when you will return, and I shall thusly alert your father.
Aunt Mildred
P.S. Do not forget that your father is ill. He did not want you to come, but he was happy enough to receive me. He does not look well, Elizabeth, and I fear he may die within the next few months. Do him this service of marrying well. It is your duty as a good daughter.
Once she had read through the letter a second time, she folded it up and placed it on the table next to her. Her eyes were drawn to the walls and shelves of books beside her for some comfort. She pondered them, letting the realization slip into the mind of her encroaching future, jealous that the books would never have to be told what to do or forced into an unwanted marriage all for the sake of wealth and status.
Aunt Mildred was a kind woman, but just like Elizabeth, she had spent years under her father’s thumb and asked to do whatever he wanted. She was not the woman for Elizabeth to implore to understand her side. To Aunt Mildred, women must follow their Christian duties. They could not let their minds run away with them, or their bodies, or even think of men until they were married. They could never have an occupation that was more than reading, sewing, dancing, drawing, or playing music. At the realization of this trapped life, Elizabeth felt a tremor of anger vibrate through her.
The image of a bubbling cauldron flashed in her mind, and she envisioned her anger that way, having been heated on a smoldering fire for years and now coming to a boil. She knew that soon, the bubbles of anger would pour over the edge. Now, she wanted so many things and wanted to do everything at once. She wanted to kiss Liam, kiss John, and not let her conscience hurt her. She wanted to be like Brea, confident, and able to tantalize men with a look.
She stood up, feeling the sudden desire to rip her old self from the new body underneath, waiting desperately to be set free. Was there no way she could live life the way she desired and fulfill her promise to her mother? She stared down at the gold ring, which flickered in the firelight. She wished that her mother could hear her and that they could talk like they used to. She could find out what her mother really wanted for her because this did not seem like it was it.
She began to pace through the walls of books, hoping again for some vestige of comfort, some strength as she thought over her aunt’s letter. A wicked thought came to her. She knew she would have to return, and she would write back to her aunt to tell her so, but what was soon? A few days? Weeks? Could she not spend as long as she liked? There were no prospects for her at this time, and her father was powerless to do anything about getting her back. He was both imprisoned and ill.
His illness brought her no sadness, no remorse. It only served to allow her just a little bit more freedom that she needed before she decided to return. And from now on, she would stop feeling regret and just do whatever it was that made her feel as alive as kissing Liam while the winds of the Sound blew over them.
* * *
Fergus staggered back, but just as was his wont, Liam’s punch could not wipe the smile from his face. Instead, a trickle of blood appeared at his lip, and it taunted Liam with its jauntiness. Fergus held up his arms. “By God, but us MacLean men are stubborn. They dinnae wish tae hear the truth!” He laughed again.
Liam decided against punching Fergus, but he did roll up his sleeves and waved a fist toward him. “’Tis nae the truth! The only reason I am nae punching ye again, lad, is because I dinnae want tae have tae carry ye and the game all the way back tae the boat.”
His anger was coursing through him, making his muscles twitch and his scowl deepen, but at Fergus’ surprised yet humored face at having been punched out of nowhere, Liam smirked. Fergus was like a brother to him, and he was the only one who could bring him out of his mire of racing thoughts and feeling trapped.“Bloody Hell, Fergus. Ye make me so angry, I could—”
“Punch me in the face. Aye, but I think we have achieved that bit. Now, ye are tellin’ me, that that lass kissed ye?”
Liam nodded. “I ken it doesnae make a single bit of sense but ‘tis what happened. I couldnae kiss her again after being the one tae play the forward fool at the wedding, getting the slap that I deserved. And then, I found her on the top of the hill, so I went tae finally apologize for me behavior. Then, the lass kissed me. Aye, I was just as surprised as ye.”
Fergus shook his head in disbelief. “I cannae believe it. And ‘tis more about the way she looks like a virginal angel and as innocent as they come rather than why she would be interested in a rogue like ye.”
Liam was satisfied by his friend’s attempt to humor him.
“So, how was it?” Fergus grinned mischievously.
Liam laughed. “I dinnae think that is very gentlemanly of me, especially when the woman who kissed me is a Sassenach lady.”
“Nae, nae, ye know ye must tell me. Go on.”
Liam happily returned to the memory, remember the feeling of her soft lips on his and the way her arms threaded through the hair at the base of his neck. Pieces of her own golden hair caressed the sides of his face as the breeze blew. The scent of her, the taste of her, and the feel of her lulled him into a sweet daze, and even now, he felt its power. He said softly, “It was like coming home again.”
Fergus frowned as he watched his friend. “I would hardly call those details, lad. I think ye must have fallen ill now. These Sassenachs and their wily ways.” He shook his head, chuckling. “Come, we will stay the night at our usual place. Perhaps ye will wish a woman tae take yer mind of another?” He raised an eyebrow.
Liam shook himself free of the odd feeling that had come over him. Even he had not expected the words that had come out of his mouth. But he realized he meant them. It had felt that way as if suddenly he had a place to go and had a purpose. Could it really be true that Elizabeth Darling was that purpose?
“Nae, Fergus. I willnae take a woman. A woman wouldnae have me in this state anyway. Even ye can see I am nae use tae anyone.”
Fergus and Liam stumbled their way through the forest, their sacks heavy with the game. “Well, ye can at least find a room tae rest in, perhaps cloud yer busy mind with drink for a while. I think Brea is most likely still on Mull, pining after ye.” He was smiling, but the joking tone was gone from his voice.
Perhaps Fergus was right, and an illness had claimed Liam, leaving him dazed and listless. Liam nodded. “Aye, let us hope so. I dinnae think I could bear tae see her, nae when she has shown me her jealousy and wishes tae try and entrap me.”
Fergus merely nodded, and they walked to their destination. Liam was eager to let go of his load and take a drink, as Fergus suggested. He would leave Fergus to his pleasures and enjoy an evening of thinking, for, with each step he took, his thoughts were taking on new forms and moving in new directions.
At the inn, the innkeeper greeted them kindly. They could leave their catch in the cold cellar as usual once they handed the owner a coin. Fergus left promptly for the brothel and left Liam on his own by the hearth, a cold ale in his hands. He felt a small comfort in that. For once, he would not be ordered about or distracted by a woman’s presence or needing to entertain. He could simply think and think all night if need be.
First of all, he barely knew Elizabeth. He knew that she was bonny, kind, and intelligent and that her father was a complete arse who changed the Campbell clan forever. She had been somewhat timid upon first meeting, for who would not be with such a father? But since she saw her bright face at the wedding, smiling up at him as they danced, he had thought of her. It was sometimes in anger and sometimes in lust, but he had thought of her constantly and had even banished thoughts of all other women, even when he tried desperately to turn his attention to others and flirt with him.
Charlotte was right. He was jealous of John Campbell, and the way he had so boldly told Elizabeth of his intentions. What if John would ask her to marry him, and she accepted? What then? He let that feeling slide down into his belly, and he didn’t like it. He couldn’t quite decipher his own feelings, but
he knew that that would not do. He would not be able to bear to see Elizabeth wed another, not when he longed for her in a new way he’d not experienced before. He wanted to explore it further to see what more there was.
That’s why he had asked her to walk with him as well, but after their kiss, they hadn’t had another moment alone to see if he could ask her again. She seemed to enjoy his flirtations in the Great Hall when John was by her side, but she had always seemed to enjoy his flirtations to some extent. That did not mean she was willing to take time out of her day to be with him.
Liam took a large gulp of his ale as his thoughts solidified to resolution. If John was his rival, then by God, he would do his best to try for Elizabeth. He needed to at least see if what he felt for her was real. He saw a figure stop in front of him, and as he lifted his eyes, his stomach filled with dread.
Looking down at him with lifted eyebrows and a stare that could kill was Brea.
* * *
“Charlotte?” Elizabeth found her friend in the library, searching through a pile of books in front of her on the wooden desk and scratching out notes in a nearby notebook.
“Yes? Oh, Elizabeth! Welcome back. How was your ride this morning? I do hope it was just as pleasurable.” She winked, and Elizabeth sighed, sitting in front of her.
“Unfortunately not. I was accosted on horseback by a prostitute from the brothel on the other side of the water, while I was attempting to enjoy another one of Mull’s splendid views.”
Charlotte closed her notebook and clasped her hands over the desk. “Now this bodes interesting. Tell me more.”
Elizabeth twisted the ring on her finger. “I forgot to mention yesterday that Liam’s and my kiss was interrupted by possibly the two worst people it could have been interrupted by.”
Charlotte was already grinning. “By whom?”
“Fergus and this self-same prostitute that accosted me just now. Her name is Brea, and she apparently has been Liam’s choice whenever he has chosen to,” she coughed delicately, “visit the brothel.”
Charlotte’s eyes were wide. “I see. My, my, this is a far more interesting day than I expected it to be. What did she say?”
“She said that I should stay away for Liam could not give me what I wanted.”
“What is that?”
“She assumes I meant to kiss him to gain a husband.”
Charlotte frowned. “Hmm…Well, it is obvious that there is some sort of jealousy there. I would not pay her any mind, Elizabeth. I have met many a woman like that in London, and some of them fine ladies. They will always try to tear another down if it means they can get the man they want for themselves.”
“Do you think that she loves him? I mean, she is a prostitute, a fallen woman, who is with a different man night after night.”
Charlotte nodded. “It does seem strange, but as I have said before, Liam is a kind and charming man. You have feelings for him too. Why should she not?”
“Do I?” Elizabeth blushed a little.
“It is so plainly obvious. But I still think you should spend more time with John as well. No need to make a hasty decision. Since I had lived in London and was allowed to attend balls and the like, I could see and spend time with all manner of men. Once I met Angus, I knew that I wanted him because he was so different from the others, and he brought out something different in me. You need more experience with men to help you make the best decision. You do not have to wed anyone if you do not wish.”
If only she knew.
Elizabeth thought for a moment about her aunt’s letter and the dreaded life of entrapment she was potentially returning to in a few short weeks. She stood up. “I agree with you, Charlotte. I have a plan. First of all, has Liam gone over the water?”
“Yes, he has with Fergus. They will stay the night there if you were hoping to see him today. But why? What is your plan? Elizabeth, you will kill me with curiosity!” Charlotte leaned over the desk.
“I will let you know later.” She paused, emotion welling up in her chest. “You know, Charlotte, I really enjoyed spending time with you and Julia, sharing a story. I have never had such an experience before, a bonding of sisters.”
“I enjoyed it as well. We women must stick together. Are you sure you will be all right?”
“Yes, yes, of course. You tend to your patients. I will tend to myself. Oh, no!” She put a hand over her mouth. “I am meant to assist you with them! I am so sorry, Charlotte, amid all this madness, I entirely forgot!”
Charlotte laughed. “Your entertaining tales are enough help right now. There is nothing I need help with today. I was simply doing a little research on some new medical advancements. We can ride together tomorrow. There are a few things I would like to show you. But today, my friend, you enjoy yourself!”
Smiling, Elizabeth replied, “I thank you. Enjoy your research!” She left the room hurriedly, thinking about what she might do and how to do it without overthinking. Her resolve was already made, and she didn’t want to ruin it by allowing the words and beliefs of Aunt Mildred to spoil what could be life-changing.
In her room, she pulled out her best dress and called for the maid to assist her. It was a silken cream dress with ruffles, and Elizabeth always felt exceedingly pretty in it. When she had first purchased it, her father was concerned about its potential immorality, but he eventually allowed her to wear it to the opera or on other occasions. Tonight felt like the exact occasion for it.
While waiting for the maid to finish her hair, Elizabeth attempted to pen a letter to her aunt to assuage her aunt’s fears for the moment and provide herself with just a bit more time. It seemed an age before she was dressed and ready to leave, her excitement and anticipation bubbling inside of her. She’d asked Mrs. MacLean to help her find a passage across the water to return tomorrow. She said that she meant to visit General Andrews, which was only partially true, in fact, but he knew nothing about it just yet. She did want to visit him, but she was not certain tonight would be the night. At least she knew she had a place to stay in case she needed it.
It was a hurried plan, but it was the best she had for the moment. Soon enough, Mrs. MacLean was waving goodbye to her from the shoreline as one of Calum’s men rowed her across the water, the prow of the boat slicing through the calm surface of the Sound. She put her cloak up over her head, for the day was a little chillier than expected, and she stared off toward the mainland, her heart pumping quickly, giving her courage.
She had to do what she felt was right. She needed to see more of the world and not shy away from it. Her plan was to visit the house where Brea and the other ladies of the night worked.
Chapter Thirteen
“Brea,” Liam said, his voice low with wariness. “I thought ye would be back on the Isle.”
Brea sat down without being asked and removed her gloves like a fine English lady. Liam’s mind raced with what she might do or say next. “I was, but I felt it time to return when my most frequent customer and the reason I go to the Isle in the first place was not willing to come.”
Liam sighed loudly. When would it end? He wished he could find a man to replace himself in Brea’s affections. Perhaps Fergus would do? “Did ye see Fergus upon yer return? He has gone tae the house this evening.”
“Aye, I have seen him. He is with Sara at the moment.” And then, she was silent. Liam clasped tightly to his mug of ale, so tightly his knuckles turned white. He had already told her about his feelings. Why should she attempt to speak to him again?
“I spoke tae yer Elizabeth this morning.”
Liam felt the blood leave his face as he thought about what Brea might say or even do to a gentle woman like Elizabeth. He wouldn’t put it past her to be violent in her outbursts. She was a fiery lass, and while that made her exciting, it also made her extremely dangerous, like a cat lurking in the shadows.
“I see. And what did ye say?”
Brea smiled tightly, rubbing the fabric of her gloves between her fingers. “I do believe that
‘tis more about what yer lass said that ye will find more interesting.”
Liam furrowed his brows. He was beginning to get angry again, but he still kept himself contained, fearful of what could happen next. He sighed, feigning disinterest. “What is it, Brea? Ye must just tell me and leave off with the dramatic display.”
Brea narrowed her eyes ever so slightly, and he could feel the fire from them. “She told me that she has no interest in ye whatsoever. I accused her of husband-hunting in the wrong direction, for ye could never be such a man, and she said that she had nae interest in that anyway. It was a ‘moment ye shared and naething more.”
Brea then stood, satisfied with her work. Liam had the annoying feeling of having been punched in the gut. He couldn’t help but ask, “And what did the lady say about that?”
Seduction in the Highlands: By choosing him she loses her inheritance, by leaving him she brakes her heart... Page 12
