Amish Love and Healing

Home > Other > Amish Love and Healing > Page 2
Amish Love and Healing Page 2

by Rachel Stoltzfus


  “John, do you want Libby to give me regular updates?”

  John brought himself back to the present with difficulty. “Uh, ja. I’m sorry. I was thinking that it’s gut that the Millers live farther out from here, or we would be in trouble from this back porch. About Libby, ja, she needs to let us know what’s happening. If she can tell you, Mildred, then Eppie can get us together if we need an elder’s meeting.”

  OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS, people critical to the effort to stop Katie were informed of their responsibilities. At the Smits home, Amos sighed as he leaned against the kitchen counter. “Ja, bishop, I’ll continue seeing her. I want her to get help if that’s what she needs. Do you think she can get better?” Amos felt disloyal to his own community to ask the question. Knowing how her lies had sowed suspicion and pain in their own community, Amos didn’t want to seem like he still liked Katie too much. His parents certainly wouldn’t approve of them marrying, and he wasn’t sure how he felt either.

  “Anything is possible. And I want to thank you for what you’re doing to help us out. It’s hard, I know. Do you have anything to report to me?”

  Amos pulled a few pages containing scribbled notes. “Here. I’ve been writing things down as soon as I get home from spending time with her. I believe it’s pretty accurate.” Tipping his glass of lemonade into his mouth, Amos waited as John read what he’d written down.

  “So, reading through this, you seem to have caught her out in some lies. Do you mind if I keep these pages?”

  “Nee, go ahead. I just want this to stop and for her to get help.” If it would help.

  Folding the pages, John held them in one hand. “We all do. Listen, the elders and I have been discussing how to make her lies less effective. Deacon Yoder’s wife and Lovina came up with what’s probably the most effective thing we can do. Isolate her. This means that, over time, she’s going to have less and less people she can rely on for company or support. Our aim is to make it impossible for her to spread her lies around. And that means...”

  “That she may want to spend even more time with me.” Amos’s stomach squirmed. “I would have to spend even more time with her once people start to avoid her. It’s already started to happen, bishop.”

  “Gut. I’m asking those who have been closest to her to continue the appearances of friendship until the elders and I can sit down with her and her parents to ask her to repent.”

  “About that, bishop, she hasn’t been baptized yet. How can she be asked...?”

  “She’s done this before, Amos,” John told Amos exactly what Katie had done in Indiana. “So, you see, she is capable of creating destructive lies.”

  John was pale as he took in the stunning revelations. “Mei Gott! She could have destroyed his life! How did you find out about him?”

  “I’d rather not say how we got the information right now. It’s enough for me that we were blessed with this knowledge. That’s why I went to Indiana. I spoke with the man she accused. Like his community, I’m convinced of his innocence.”

  Amos sighed, forcing nausea back. As he thought about the bishop’s revelations, some of Katie’s behavior when they were together took on a more sinister edge. She always tensed up if he came up behind her and put his arms around her waist. And heaven forbid he touched her neck. Amos swallowed. “Are you sure this man is innocent?” he asked.

  “Am I—! Why are you asking this?”

  “If he didn’t—.” Amos shook his head. He’d probably just been taken in by Katie’s lies. “I don’t know how she would...she sometimes, and I don’t think it’s a part of any lie, she just sometimes tenses up or acts nervous...”

  “You think something might have happened to her?”

  “I believe you if you believe the man you spoke to was innocent, Bishop. And maybe I’ve just been taken in by Katie’s falsehoods. Maybe I shouldn’t continue seeing her.”

  “Nee. The psychologist said her lies could have a root in trauma, and my wife believes there may be something deeper going on as well. Watch her, and be careful. But also, if you learn anything about...if she is reacting to something that someone else did to her, we need to know. Maybe it was an English person. Maybe that’s why her rumors have taken this new form.”

  “I will,” Amos agreed. He felt better for having aired his suspicions to the bishop. “Denki.”

  “Nee. I am glad you told me this. We have to protect ourselves, but we do have a responsibility to Katie as well. Sometimes it is hard to see that.” Bishop Lapp said, “Continue doing as you are doing. I need to go speak to Libby King. Oh, before I forget, would you please let Libby know that she needs to do the same?”

  “Ja, I will. So, Libby’s doing the same as me?”

  “Ja. Her parents were reluctant, but they did agree. For the good of the community.”

  After the bishop had left, Amos went to the carpentry shop he shared with his brother and dat. There, he picked up a soft chunk of wood and just ran it through his hands as he thought. Making up his mind, he went looking for John Smits, his dat. “Dat, I know that we don’t normally say anything about any courting relationships we have, but spending more time with her will be difficult.”

  “I know, son. Just do what the bishop has asked and try your hardest to keep Katie from realizing what is happening. You genuinely believe this girl can be helped?”

  “I think so.”

  “Well, with Gott’s help, I pray you are right. And denki for telling me. I just want you to be very careful.” John looked up at a knock on the barn door.

  “Dat, Amos needs to get to the house. Katie is here.”

  Chapter 2

  Amos looked at his dat, stunned. Did my conversation with dat and the bishop bring her around? He licked his lips as his heart pounded, making him feel slightly sick. Amos closed his eyes and dragged in a difficult breath before he hurried back to the house. His heart pounded as he saw her. “Katie! Why didn’t Eli invite you in? I’ll be having a talk with him. What brings you here?”

  Katie’s smile trembled on her pretty face. “Not very much. Only, I realized this morning that one or two people are beginning to avoid me. And it hurts! Why?”

  “Who is it? Have they expressed anger or hurt toward you for anything?” He took her hand and cradled it gently in both of his hands as he watched her.

  “It was Barbara Schrock and Miriam. You remember, I’ve worked on quilts with them at frolics. And we’ve been friends since I moved to Big Valley.” Katie sobbed suddenly. She swiped a stray tear from her cheek.

  “Ach, I am so sorry, Katie. Can you tell me what happened?”

  “Ja, but then I need to get home. I promised Mam I would help her with dinner. I was at the fabric shop, the Mennonite shop. Miriam walked in, then Barbara a few minutes later. I said ‘hi’ to both of them, and they acted as if they didn’t hear me. And, even worse, they were perfectly friendly with Mrs. Hoffstetter. And she was cold toward me, too.”

  “Well, that’s certainly odd. Maybe one of your other friends, like Libby, could give you more information.”

  Katie sighed. She had hoped Amos would be able to tell her what was going on. At least he wasn’t ignoring her or being cold to her like the others. “Maybe. Well, I’d better go.”

  Amos squeezed Katie’s hand in his. “Are you doing anything this weekend?” He made sure to keep his voice at its normal pitch so his dat could hear him talking to Katie.

  “Nee. Mam and Dat don’t want to do anything until we know who’s threatening us.”

  “Well, we’ll go and do something, even if it’s only going to the Amish diner for pie and lemonade. It’ll be the last lemonade of the season because it’s already starting to get cooler at night.”

  Katie smiled. “Ja, that sounds right gut. I’d love to go. And I’ll see if Libby can help me figure out what’s happening.” Smiling and waving at Amos, she left the house.

  KATIE HURRIED HOME, aware she had spent too much time at Amos’s house. Whether or not he was a part of it,
she knew something was wrong. And that it was probably her fault. The other girls had to have suspected Katie now. And Sabine had asked about Goshen. Maybe the Mennonite shopkeeper knew something about Katie’s past and had shared it. Sighing as she unhitched the horses and fed them, she hurried into the house with her bags. “Mam, I’m home.”

  “Gut. Not a second too soon. Where were you? I expected you a half an hour ago!” Mary kept peeling the potatoes she had planned for dinner and supper.

  “I saw Libby, and we started talking. Mam, I noticed this morning that Barbara and Miriam were ignoring me. They walked into the fabric shop when I was there. I said ‘hi’ to them, and they totally ignored me!”

  Mary swiveled her head around toward Katie. “What? You are being ignored? Hmmph! You must have gotten into a spat with one or both girls, and you forgot.” Mary offered no sympathy to Katie, who had been waiting for some kindness.

  Katie sighed. I don’t know why I always think I’m going to get a different reaction. I’ll show them. “Ja, maybe. Is there anything I should do?”

  “Make the salad.”

  After lunch, Katie disappeared into her quilting studio, where she planned the newest project she had to work on. She sat a glass of water on the table beside where she had laid out the fabric. As she shifted material, she nearly knocked a bottle of water over onto her unfinished quilt. Gasping, she grabbed the glass and set it farther away from her work. The pressure inside was growing and growing again. She wanted to start another rumor, but it would only hurt her and those around her. Everything was closing in. Esther was gone. The lies didn’t even make her feel better anymore. And the pressure inside always came back.

  Gott, help me, please. Katie fell to her knees. A puddle of water from her spilled glass had fallen on the floor, making her skirts damp. She closed her eyes and prayed for strength.

  Someone knocked on the door. “Katie?” It was her mam.

  Katie’s voice was husky as she spoke around the lump in her throat. “Ja?” She scrambled to her feet and sat back down in the chair as the door opened and her mam stepped inside.

  “I just wanted to let you know that your dat and I are going to buy some supplies.” Mary looked at her daughter. Katie sat stiffly, pinching at the edges of one of the quilt squares. “It wasn’t right of those girls to ignore you without telling you why they were upset,” she said, her voice as stiff has her daughter’s posture. “If they continue to...” Mary sighed. “Just ask them what is wrong, ja?”

  Katie nodded.

  “And Don’t take any of the horses or the buggy out of the barn to visit anyone. We’re trusting you to stay here by yourself.”

  Katie was struck by the irony. Her parents were trusting her just as she was at the point of breaking down again. Katie swallowed down the lump of pain. “I don’t have any plans to go anywhere today, Mam. I have to finish this quilt as soon as I can because I have more orders coming in.”

  “Well, gut. We’re off, then. When we get home, I’ll be looking for you to see you.” Without saying anything else, Mary turned and left Katie’s studio.

  Sighing, Katie turned her attention back to her work. She wanted to have this quilt finished quickly. The more she focused on that, the easier it would be to keep those other thoughts and impulses at bay.

  Katie lost herself in her work, so much so that she didn’t hear her mam calling for her when she entered the house. So she almost jumped out of her skin when the door to the quilting room was flung open, and Mary exclaimed, “Katie! Oh, gut, there you are!”

  She doesn’t really trust me. She’s just pretending, like everyone.

  Katie forced a smile. “Ja, I was just finishing up this quilt. I should rearrange my studio so I can get to the fabrics I need more easily. I’m out of threads and rick rack, so I’m going to ask Libby to go with me closer to Lancaster. I’m thinking I might be able to find what I need without going into the English fabric store or into the Hoffstetter store. I just want to find a place where I can be any Amish quilter.”

  Mary thought about Katie’s idea. “Ja. Okay. But only with Libby. Or another one of your friends. You are making progress, Katie, but you still have a way to go in getting all of our trust back.”

  Katie would never gain her mam’s trust back. Or any of theirs. She had prayed, and Gott was silent.

  They hadn’t believed her when she told the truth, and they didn’t believe her when she lied.

  It had hurt her deeply, but now, she couldn’t even work up the energy to be upset. She just wanted out. What if she stopped trying? What if she let herself be as awful as they all thought she was? And then, in the end, she could disappear. Was this what Esther had felt?

  Was Esther dead?

  Katie said, “Okay. I’ll go to Libby’s and see if she can go with me later this week.”

  “Gut.” Her mam turned and went toward the kitchen. “Oh, I’ll need help with supper, please.”

  Katie wanted to scream. But she choked it down and stood to follow her mam. In her mind, stories bubbled up. Her knees, from where she had knelt on the damp floor, were stained with wet dust. Mud.

  Mud. Cow patties. Paint? Mud. She could use mud and another note. The last one.

  Closing her eyes, she covered her mouth with one hand and inhaled deeply. Controlling her voice, she spoke. “I’ll be there in a few minutes, Mam.”

  Quickly, Katie grabbed a plain piece of paper with no printed lines and a pencil. She sat down and wrote in sloppy penmanship:

  “Hello, again! You didn’t listen to me the last time. None of you cult members have done anything about selling your farms and moving away from here. I’m warning you again. You have six weeks to get out of here. Sell you’re farms and find some other religious nut place where you can live in “peace.” Oh. Before I forget. You think the mayor supports you living here? Think again. She wants you gone just as much as I do. Your a thorn in her side and she hates seeing you coming up to her. So get out of here! This is you’re final warning.”

  From downstairs, her mam shouted, “Katie! What’s going on?”

  “I’m coming!”

  Katie grabbed a plain envelope and enclosed the folded note inside, hid it, and ran to the kitchen.

  “Hurry up! I need you now, not tomorrow!”

  “I’m on my way!” Katie hurried to the kitchen and turned on the sink to wash her hands. “I was just making a list of the things I need for my shopping trip.” She pulled out the vegetables and began working on making a salad.

  PULLING UP TO LIBBY’S parents’ house the next day, Katie jumped out of her buggy. As she waited for someone to answer her knock, she thought about the letter she had written. The usual excitement was missing. She just felt empty, like she was walking herself to her own execution. Libby’s front door opened and, startled from her own thoughts, Katie jumped.

  Deb King stood at the door, smiling kindly at Katie. “I’m sorry, but Libby’s not here.”

  “Oh, no! I wanted to invite her to join me tomorrow. I hope she’s not shopping for quilting things.” Katie was genuinely disappointed. She had been looking forward to this shopping trip in the same way a prisoner looked forward to his last meal.

  “Nee, she’s not. I sent her to her sister’s house to help out over there. Freda has had three children sick with chicken pox, and she’s fallen behind on her work and baking. Have you had chicken pox?”

  “Mam and Dat took me for the vaccine, actually. So, I should be protected. I hope Freda’s kinder feel better soon! Will Libby be home tonight?”

  “Ja, I’m expecting her back before suppertime. If you’d like, you can always leave a note. I’ll make sure Libby gets it.”

  Katie quickly jotted down her invitation to Libby, handing it to Deb. “Denki.”

  Several yards down the road, Caleb and Elisabeth Yoder waited in their own stopped buggy. “That’s Katie Miller. She can’t see us.”

  “Ja, I know. If she’s here for Libby, I saw her going to her sister’s house
this morning.”

  “Gut. We’re in time, then. Once Katie leaves, we’ll talk to Mrs. King.” Caleb backed his buggy up, and onto a side road, just in case Katie was to come down past him and Elisabeth. He held one finger over his lips.

  Once Katie had gone off in the opposite direction, Caleb waited for just a few minutes more. Not hearing any buggies, he pulled out from the side road slowly and into the King’s yard.

  “Oh, Caleb! Elisabeth! How are you? Children, go upstairs, now.” Deb shooed her twins, Ben and Amy, upstairs. “Do the homework I gave you.”

  Sitting around the table, Caleb, Elisabeth, and Deb talked. “Katie Miller left here just a few minutes ago. What was the purpose of her visit?”

  “Mam, we’re done!” Ben came racing downstairs with his and Amy’s homework. “Can me and Amy play at the creek?”

  “‘Can Amy and I play at the creek?’ Ja, but be back here before suppertime.” Deb accepted the sheets of paper and set them to the side.

  Ben and Amy raced outside, freed for the rest of the afternoon. They made a beeline for the cool, sleepy creek that meandered alongside their property. Throwing off their shoes, the twins hurried into the water, playing and splashing one another.

  Katie was too occupied in her own tasks to hear the kids’ splashing over the general movement of the creek. She pulled two thumbtacks from her tote and, making sure the envelope would be visible from the road, she tacked it to the tree. Next, she hurried a few yards downstream of Ben and Amy, where she filled a small bucket with slimy mud.

  “Amy, wait! Be still!”

  “What? I want to splash you!” Amy was ready to get wet again.

  “Shhhh! You know who that is?” Ben pointed at Katie’s hunched-over figure as she gathered as much mud as she could into the small bucket she’d brought with her.

 

‹ Prev