Darkside 3

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Darkside 3 Page 13

by Aaron K Carter


  “Always, you know that,” I say.

  “Let me know how it goes with Major Tom,” she says.

  “I will but it won’t-----bye now,” I say, hanging up.

  “You were saying?” I ask Starr, who has been floating in front of me patiently the whole time.

  “Sir, we’re meant to be flight partners, we need to be on the same frequency, what’s your code?” he asks, holding up his wrist pad as a visual aid.

  “Doesn’t matter, if Isylgyns attack, I’ll meet you at the ship,” I say. I’m on Major Tom’s frequency and I’m staying that way.

  “Sir, Commander Thorn specifically told me---”

  “You, Quinn, need to learn to stop doing---about eighty nine percent of what Thorn and I tell you---and your life will be easier,” I say, pulling myself down the hall away from him. My ear piece buzzes.

  “Ziggy do you----Titus get off this line, damn it,” Major Tom says, she recognizes my unique breathing pattern, no doubt.

  “I’ll tell Kip he’s got it programmed wrong again how are you---”

  “I know for a fact you’re messing with it stop, if this is another prank on Thorn I want none of it, goodbye, Titus,” she says, hanging up with fantastically satisfied zeal, which is crushed when Quinn and I round the corner and run into her.

  “Quit following me,” she says, to me, “Don’t you have other things to do with your time----Starr are they paying you extra to put up with him?”

  “No, ma’am though I’ve put through a memorandum on why they should,” he says, insolent fiend.

  “I’ll sign it or something---Major Card put your hand down what is it you want?” she asks, folding her arms and bopping against the wall. I was raising my hand innocently.

  “A word in private?” I ask, politely.

  “Is it urgent? I’m supposed to be helping get the training videos ready for the new cadets,” she says.

  “Slightly, Starr can help you he’s not doing anything,” I say.

  “Starr is already helping her.”

  “Starr is already helping me.”

  “Right---I’ll help as well---”

  “Don’t want your help you’d get bored and start screwing it up---okay I’ll have the word with you now, yes in private, if it means you’ll do something productive the rest of the day and let me work,” she sighs.

  “Okay,” I say, nodding at Quinn.

  “Right,” Quinn says, taking a box of whatever thing she was carrying away from her. she looks nice her SBUs, and black t-shirt she’s got her blouse off as she’s working, the shirt is tucked in which makes it a bit tight which I like.

  “What’s it about?” she asks, Quinn is still in earshot.

  “Girl thing for Tess,” I say, because she looks like she’s wanting to blow me off.

  “Right,” she says, the annoyance fading and looking almost guilty.

  “Come on,” I say, nodding for her to come back in the supply closet she came out of. almost reluctantly, she does.

  “What is it? Is she okay?” she asks.

  “Yeah she’s fine; one of her little friends is dying---”

  “That’s really terrible---”

  “Okay she’s not okay---whatever, and anyway the boy wants to meet his parents but he’s Project 10 and they never signed up to meet him like Tess’ mum, all old addresses, when I looked in the file---”

  “Please stop admitting the crimes you commit to me,” she sighs, covering her ears.

  “I’ve also made a deal with the Islgyns to sell them the human race and I’m totally going to decapitate Thorn the guillotine’s on order---oh inane things I say always make you laugh, stop it,” I say, as she continues to cover her ears and glare at me.

  “I’m not in the mood,” she says, sighing, “Go on about Tess?”

  “Right, so there’s no reliable way of finding the parents and under the circumstances the meeting isn’t likely to go well,” I say, “So, to appease Tess to appease the boy I’m thinking of an alternative solution---”

  “Please tell me you’re not going where I think you are---”

  “---I don’t know where you think I am going where I’m going is: we have a bit of a charade ---”

  “That’s what I thought you were going to say---it’s lying---Titus,” she sighs, “And no I’m not doing it with you.”

  “You were Project 10 you know better than anyone else how it feels to have someone abandon you,” I say, “It’s not forever, a few months, a couple letters, meet him once give the kid a hug. it’s more than my father ever did for me and he spent----I’m going with five minutes maximum—conceiving me for which I’m sure he shall burn eternally if there is any sort of deity.”

  “That went really dark and creepy but---okay no maybe, um---you make a good point,” she sighs. She knows I’m right.

  He knows damn well I can’t ignore him when he’s going against his nature and doing something genuinely kind. He knows damn well I feel bad for the kid already. I’d have done anything to meet my parents for one day.

  “Do we even look like this kid---?” I ask, with another sigh. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I told myself I would not agree to do things with this person. But when I’m the only thing approximating a friend he has it’s a little hard. This pathetic excuse for a human being doesn’t have friends and everybody needs one sometime. Damn he’s trying to do his best with his little girl and he’s the only family that poor child has.

  “Close enough, for government work,” he says, shrugging, “I’ll get Tess to send a picture to be sure---oh not we he’s already seen me it’ll have to be you and somebody else who will do me a favor—I’m thinking Kip.”

  “I don’t know—”

  “Just think about it. it’s an idea, if you get a better one I’m open, but we both have planetside leave in a week,” he points out.

  “Oh my god, you booked leave the same week I did----?” I ask, annoyed with him again, “Why, Titus?”

  “I’ll admit to stalking you but this was coincidental Tess has exams,” I say, innocently. There are no exams I’m totally stalking her.

  “Fine, okay, I’ll think about it,” she sighs.

  “It’s not for me,” I say. I wish it was for me.

  “I know I just---okay fine, you’re right it’s nothing to do with you so I can handle it---I’ve got to get going,” she says, “Is that it?”

  “Yeah, that’s it,” I say, resisting the urge to make something up to keep her with. Like I told Thorn, I’ve tried everything else. Maybe the most unlikely, asinine solution will work. It’s worth the try, anyway.

  “Okay, I’m gonna go,” she says, by way of saying goodbye.

  Forget it Thorn’s an idiot.

  “I could help, with whatever it is you’re doing, I’m not doing anything today whatever Thorn assigned me to was boring so I delegated it,” I offer.

  “You’re supposed to be helping me, you delegated it to Starr who is helping me because you thought it was boring,” she says, flatly.

  “Right, well, I can redact if you actually need the help,” I say. Idiot idiot idiot. Clearly I don’t need opponents I’m my own worst one.

  “No, we’re fine, Starr is great---I’d better get back,” she says. Then she does go. I push against the ceiling and grind my hands into my head.

  “Morning,” Jacob says, kissing my cheek as he comes into the kitchen. “What’re you doing up?”

  “I wanted to see you off,” I say, “Figured I might as well, then go do the shopping.”

  “Right, Bridget up yet?” he asks, going the refrigerator possessively.

  “No, it’s Saturday I’m sure she’s still sleeping in,” I say, picking up the tea kettle and pouring myself a cup of tea.

  “Black tea? You could’ve slept in,” he says, frowning, as he gets out milk and things for his breakfast. I’ve told him I’m a vegan which clears my conscience. “Bridget said you went to bed early as well.”

  “I did, don’t know, just bad
dreams,” I lie. I was out following him and watching him murder people. It’s a hobby. Not. I just feel obligated to keep tabs on just who he is killing. So far he’s very particular, mostly people who offend him or cut corners at work, which usually means they are endangering patients lives so I have decided I can live with him eating them. Once or twice he’s come upon random muggers or drug dealers, who I also can live with him eating. Jo says I’m insane. I just ask her if she’s told her man her real name, and until the answer is yes I get to keep Jacob. That’s gotten to be an even better argument considering she’s expecting a child by her man. Which I’m really glad for her about by the way, and her man does seem like an actual puppy.

  “Aww, I don’t like it when you’re sad,” he says, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my cheek. I lean into his strong embrace for a moment, enjoying his thick arms around me. he always smells nice, and he’s always neat and clean, his lips soft on my cheek. “I’m all right. Long week’s all.”

  “Okay,” he says, kissing my cheek again, “Try to rest today, we don’t need much in the way of groceries, I’ll pick stuff up for me and Bridge later in the week, you don’t eat much of it so you don’t have to.”

  “I don’t mind,” I say. I occasionally, okay frequently, attempt to prevent Bridget’s---I’m almost completely positive---unwilling cannibalism, by supplementing her favorite foods with actual animal products. It annoys Jacob to no end but he completely cannot make a valid argument against it and he knows it damn well.

  “I know, but I want you to enjoy your day off, I’ll be done by the time you’re getting up, why don’t we take a walk to the library, you always love looking at the old books----bacon?” he asks, holding up what he thinks looks like a legitimate store bought package of meat. It does not. I don’t tell him these things. Best he doesn’t know I know.

  “All right that’d be fun---I’ve told you, no,” I say, smiling, “Thank you.”

  “I’ll convert you one day,” he says, smiling his charming smile.

  “I doubt it,” I say, sipping my tea.

  Chapter 15

  “H

  ello, my name is Quentin---I’m living with your daughter---” that woman really should have told me her name, damn it---”we’ve met, once before—um----your oldest daughter. Usually has blue hair---okay thank you for opening the door.”

  “Hello,” a man and woman, a good bit older than my mum, stand in the door and stare at me. “You mean Charlene?”

  “Charlene, Charlene, right---did you know that?” I say the last part a bit quietly to Lizzie, who shakes her head no.

  (no) Lizzie tells me. We decided that I would take Lizzie with me because A) we already told her parents Lizzie was my daughter B) Lizzie likes riding on trains C) I truly didn’t want Jo trying herself out chasing the mutant around all day when she needs to stay off her feet and rest D) I really suspected I would need the emotional support and I was so right.

  “Right, good, yeah, Charlene, right, um, I was passing, on work thought Lizzie and I would stop in say hi---can I actually come in for a minute to talk to you?” I ask, adding the last part because Jo’s father looks like he’s about to close the door in my face.

  “Is our daughter all right?” her mother asks, not moving to let me in but not closing the door either.

  “Yes, she’s fine, absolutely fine, I just wanted to talk to you, really quickly, could I step inside or all of us go somewhere more private?” I ask, really don’t want to deliver the news of their grandchild out here in the hall but they are really forcing my hand here. I’m just glad I’m doing this and Jo is with my mother who will be helpful and supportive and all around act like a normal human being.

  “Our youngest daughter is sleeping,” her father says, “She works the night shift.”

  “Right, right, there was a really lovely café just downstairs that Lizo and I saw, you fancy some yogurt, Liz?” I ask her, she shakes her head yes helpfully.

  “We don’t go there,” her father says flatly.

  “Okay,---- god you couldn’t make this easier---let’s go downstairs or you step out in the hall, then? Don’t want to wake her, eh?” I say, smiling my polite Commander-Thorn-smile. It was the smile I used when I had to convince Commander Thorn I was fine and happy with being Titus’ flight partner when I was not. I only did it because I felt bad because Titus was actively giving him a nervous breakdown and I felt like if I complained or did anything it might push him over the edge.

  “Yes. we’ll meet you in the lobby of the building. Ten minutes,” her mother says, then she shuts the door.

  Lizzie and I sigh and look at each other.

  “Charlene?” I say.

  “Yeah, that’s what I was thinkin’,” she says.

  “I’m gonna bother her about it,” I say, tapping my wrist pad as we walk slowly towards the lift.

  Your family is so wonderful

  God I’m sorry

  It’s ok love you

  Did they mention my name

  Charlene, seriously?

  Ugh I hate that name

  I know, love you my gorgeous thief

  Love you too give lizzie a hug

  Can do

  “She says I need to squish you,” I say, wrapping an arm around Lizzie’s shoulders and squeezing her.

  “No, she didn’t,” Lizzie laughs, pretending to wriggle away.

  “Yes she did, she said Lizzie needs to be squished every hour on the hour,” I say, spinning us around, as we wait for the lift.

  “She did not,” Lizzie laughs, as I finally let her go. She laughs much more often, these days. Jo and I were concerned she would be jealous or apprehensive about the baby, but if anything it cemented in her mind we are a family and aren’t going to leave her.

  “You know I love you.”

  Why do the men I’m attracted to randomly say these things to me?

  “Shh,” I say, looking at the door. Quinn just left, thank god.

  “Why do we have to hide? I can’t hide how I feel about you,” Ziggy says, looking up at me. we are making sure the ropes course is ready for the incoming cadets to practice on. it’s a series of ropes that get farther and farther apart until there is a wide gap about twenty feet wide in the center. It’s designed to train the cadets in navigation, basic combat, and all around survival in zero g. the ropes all have to be at proper heights and secured, so that nobody gets tangled and strangles themselves in them like when Titus and I trained on them. that was really horrible.

  “Zig---,” I begin, leaning over a rope to look at him.

  “No, just hear me out---I need to say this. I’m sick of hiding and waiting. It doesn’t change each day I want you every night I need you. all I want is to live and love you,” he says, beginning to pull himself up towards me. “Since my promotion, we’re the same rank, there’s no reason we can’t be together, not anymore.”

  “You make it sound so easy,” I say, shaking my head.

  “It is easy,” he says.

  “No, Zig, it’s not. it is in here, when it’s just me and you yes, it is easy, it’s gloriously easy,” I say, with a sigh. It is. It’s simple. He’s kind and gentle and good, and he talks to me and he listens. And he sleeps. And he doesn’t think of twenty things at once. And he’s there. and there’s no darkness in his eyes.

  “That’s as it should be. you and me, together, until the end of time,” he says, “We can make this happen---before it was that we were different, ranks, now what?”

  “It’s not in our stars,” I say, shaking my head. I know it’s true. I know it’s wrong. Not wrong in a sinking-feeling, I feel better when we’re apart kind of way. In a forbidden nectar kind of way. I can’t do it. I can’t lose him and somehow I know if I agree I will. He’ll die. And I’ll lose him forever. And I can’t have that.

  “Then we change the stars, Nicole---I’ll do anything to make it right for us,” he says.

  “There are things we can’t change,” I say, pushing off of the ropes and dr
opping nearly to the bottom, to check those.

  “Why not? we can do anything we want to---don’t tell me you don’t feel the same way don’t argue, don’t fight it. just say you’ll be mine,” he says, dropping so that he’s right in front of me.

  “I love you,” I say, putting my hand on his cheek, “Which is why I can’t lose you.”

  “What are you talking about?” he asks, “You’re not going to lose me. I am not going anywhere. I will never, ever leave you.”

  “I wish that could be true,” I say, feeling tears leak out of my eyes.

  “It can be, say the word and it is; if you want it we will always be together,” he says, “Why can’t you do it?”

  “I can’t explain---”

  “Is it because of Space Forces? I wouldn’t want you to quit just because I want to—”

  “No, I would quit when our contracts were up, if it would work,” I say, taking my hand from him and going back to checking the ropes.

  “It will work why won’t it work----you’re thinking about him, aren’t you?” he asks, moving away from me almost.

  “Who him?” I ask, even though I know perfectly well who him.

  “Major Card. You’re still in love with him,” he accuses.

  “I was never in love with him,” I lie, my voice sharp.

  “He’s talked to you today---I can tell I can always tell he makes you like this,” he accuse, “You get hopeless, ready to break it off.”

  “He doesn’t have that power over me,” yes he does.

  “Yes he does, he isn’t good for you----we never should have taken the assignments here when he is,” he says, shaking his head.

  “It was this or the North Rim,” I say.

  “I’d rather deal with Isylgyns,” he scoffs.

  “Don’t talk about him that way, he’s a great pilot and an excellent spaceman,” I say, far too sharply when I hear it.

  “And a terrible, terrible man,” he says, looking me in the eyes.

  “He’s never done anything to you,” I say.

  “Why are you defending him? What did he say to you today?” he asks, folding his arms.

 

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