I can now see past the hardness, the haunting from earlier. Sitting beside me, promising me everything I could want, is the Bates from my childhood.
My breath completely leaves my body.
Nothing is too much for my girls.
My girls.
SNIPER
I walk into Target, my hand wrapped around Brentlee’s. She has Stella in her other hand, and I can’t help the feeling of pride bursting through my chest knowing these girls are with me. They’re mine. They were always meant to be mine.
Doesn’t matter that that piece of shit is Stella’s sperm donor—she’s mine. One look at her little, round face, and I’ve fallen hard for her. I take my hand from Brentlee’s and slide it to her lower back. She’s a bit fuller than she used to be, but still long and lean; her tits are a little bigger, and so is her ass. Motherhood looks damn fuckin’ good on her.
I walk straight over to a cart and start to push it, but a little hand tugs on my leather cut. I look down and see Stella looking up at me with wide eyes.
“I wide,” she pleads. I can’t help the smile that forms on my lips.
“I’ll get her,” Brentlee says, but I bend down and pick the malyshka up and set her in the cart carefully. She rewards me with a big, bright smile.
“Okay, gorgeous, let’s get your sheets, yeah?”
“Yes,” she hisses as she giggles.
With one hand on the cart, I snag Brent’s hand with the other. Together, all three of us walk through the store.
I have never been one for shopping—ever. I fuckin’ hate it. With Brentlee and Stella, I thought I would despise it. Maybe later in life I will; but for now, I’m in awe. Stella is a ball of excitement. Everything she sees is new and she lights up every single time her eyes land on something she wants. Just one sweep down the little girl bedroom aisle and the cart is full.
“Bates, this is all way too much,” Brentlee says as she holds a purple lamp with hanging beads in her hand.
“It matches the bedding,” I shrug.
“Just keep a tally so I can pay you back once Fury puts me to work somewhere,” she mumbles.
“What I buy, you never have to pay me back for, Brent. I’m buyin’ it because I want to, and for no other reason,” I state before I watch her mouth fall open.
I don’t let her say another word. Instead, I just walk away.
“Bates,” she hisses once she catches up to me.
“Let’s get Stella some movies and then you need to get whatever it is you need. I know that little suitcase couldn’t even fit half of your bathroom shit in it. Don’t give me any lip, either,” I grunt as her hand goes straight to her hip, ready to give me some of that tigress she carries deep down inside of her.
“Thank you,” she whispers instead of bitching me out.
It’s not satisfying.
I want her attitude. At this point, I fucking crave it. I want her back to her. Back to the girl I remember; the girl who had fire in her eyes and said whateverthefuck she wanted to say, consequences be damned.
The rest of the shopping trip is quick. Brentlee fills the cart with lotions, creams, soaps, and a few clothing essentials for both her and Stella. She’s trying to be low maintenance, but I know her.
Brentlee likes expensive things, she always has. It has never bothered me, and it never will; but I’ll let her make this play for now. When she’s back in my bed, underneath me and completely mine again, then I’ll make sure that she knows she gets whatever she wants. Whatever she desires is hers. I’ll give her the fuckin’ world on a platter.
Fuck, I’m such a pussy.
I grin.
Only for this girl, though—always for this girl.
Chapter Three
BRENTLEE
Bates goes through a McDonald’s drive thru for dinner. I cringe at the thought of putting the salad that I ordered in my mouth, but Stella is as happy as can be with her chicken nugget meal and toy.
I look out of the side of my eyes as Bates takes a big bite of his burger and chews. Like a total creeper, I watch his throat work the food down and I find myself getting hot.
Fuck, even his throat turns me on.
How am I going to live with him and not throw myself at him?
I’m a lost cause. Destined to be beholden to a man the rest of my life. Taken care of and owing men, never being independent.
I don’t want to be that, though. I want to be a woman Stella can be proud of.
That is another reason I can’t just hop into bed with Bates. I don’t want to be that woman who hops from man to man. I want to be a better person.
Even if I strip at the Devil’s Club, I want not only Stella to be proud of me, but I want to be proud of myself.
Stripping isn’t the best feel-good job I could have, but it will put money in our bank account and it will help me be able to afford a decent lawyer—which I’ll need if I stand a chance at fighting Scotty Corbin.
“Eat, tigritsa,” Bates murmurs.
I turn back to my warm salad. It will probably make me sick later, but I’m starving, so I eat.
The hour drive back to Bates’ country home goes by quickly.
Once we are back, I get to work, washing Stella’s new Elsa bedding. Then, I begin to put all of our purchases away.
Bates brings all of my bathroom items into the room and drops them on the bed.
“I’ll just take these to the other bathroom,” I mutter.
He wraps his hand loosely around my bicep to stop me.
“This is your room and your bathroom,” he says.
“No, I told you, that’s not happening,” I state firmly. Bates just smiles and shakes his head.
“I know it’s not happening—yet. But this will still be your space, Brent. I’ll take the couch for now. Better if there’s another barrier between you and that asshole anyway,” he says, his eyes completely focused on me. Too focused.
He can see too much of me.
How badly I want him, how lost I am, and no doubt how hurt I’ve been.
I nod, unable to speak. I spend the rest of the evening with Stella. I get her room all put together and I bathe her and read her a story before I tuck her in for the night.
“Mama?” she asks as I am standing up from her new bed.
“Yes, sweet girl?”
“I wike Bates. I wike it here. Can we stay foreva?” she pleads with wide eyes before she yawns.
“We can stay as long as you like, sweet girl,” I whisper, trying to hold back my tears.
“Good,” she mumbles before her eyes close and she passes out asleep.
I leave her room as I wipe the tears from my eyes.
I walk into the living room, heading toward the kitchen for some water, when I hear Bates on the phone.
“They’re mine, brother. I’m claimin’ both of them. That fucker can try to get them, but I’ll just gut him if he even attempts to take them from me,” I hear him growl.
I press myself against the wall, trying to disappear.
Claiming us—this is the second time he’s said it. I don’t know exactly what it means, but I think I do, and I’m sure it’s not what I want right now. Maybe not ever.
“Thought I’d be okay with it, but the more I think about it, I can’t handle that shit, brother,” he says before he drops the phone on the coffee table a few seconds later.
“C’mon out, tigritsa.”
I step away from the wall and into the living room.
“You don’t want me stripping?” I ask.
Instead of answering me, he takes my wrist gently with his fingers and tugs me into his lap. I shiver when his fingertips run up my spine and tangle in my hair.
“Thought I could be okay with men watching you as long as you came home to me. I can’t. Just thinking about any man seeing your gorgeous body makes me want to murder and maim,” he explains, his eyes dead serious and focused on mine.
“I need to work, Bates. I need money. I need independence,” I explain. He nods
in understanding.
“I know you do. I could take care of you, but you wouldn’t be happy with that. Baby, I want you so fuckin’ happy you couldn’t imagine being in any other man’s bed the rest of your life,” he murmurs as his nose slides along mine.
I feel that way right now.
I’ve always felt that way with him.
I have never been as happy in my entire life than in this man’s arms. At fourteen years old or today. It is as if time stood still for our bodies, our hearts, and our souls.
I just wish I could allow myself to have him, and to keep him.
“What will I do then?” I ask on a shaky breath.
“At the clubhouse we always need someone to clean and run the bar. Get orders together, serve the guys, and clean up. You’d be the safest there, surrounded by brothers constantly,” he says as his eyes stay focused on mine.
“Cleaning and running the bar, that’s all I would have to do for them?” I ask.
I have images of me having to service them in other ways running through my head.
I know that they keep women around whose whole job is to screw them. At least that’s the rumor I’ve heard throughout town.
“You askin’ if you have to fuck them?” he grinds out through clenched teeth.
I don’t answer. Instead, I stare at him, waiting for an answer.
“You think I would really hand you off to be fucked by dozens of guys when I just told you I couldn’t handle anybody else seeing your naked body?” he balks.
I shrug, avoiding his penetrating gaze as I look down at my shoes.
“Baby, any of my brothers even looked at you funny, I’d lay them out. Nobody will ever touch you but me, ever again,” he murmurs, tugging on the back of my hair to tip my head back so that my eyes meet his.
“Why do you still want me? I’m a mess,” I admit. He grins.
“Because you’re my tigritsa. You aren’t ready for more yet. You’ve made that clear, and I’ll wait for you. I’ll always wait for you,” he breathes.
His hot breath fans my face and I know that if I leaned in just a few inches, our lips would touch.
I can’t do that, though. Kissing him would lead to me spreading my legs for him. I can’t. I won’t. No matter how badly I want it.
“What if it takes years for me to be able to be yours again, Bates? What if I never heal?” I ask, voicing my fears.
I don’t know that I can ever trust another man again. I don’t know that I want to ever trust one again.
“Then I’ll wait forever.”
I don’t respond. I can’t. It is all too much. Instead, I choose to ignore his words. I’ll deal with them… never.
“What will I do with Stella?” I ask as I stand and straighten my shirt.
“LeeLee can watch her can’t she?” he asks.
“I don’t want her in danger. He’ll know exactly how to get to her, and he could hurt Kent in the process,” I explain as I chew on my bottom lip.
“Got it. LeeLee used to have this woman, Tammy, watch Bear when she worked nights at the club. He’d never find her at Tammy’s. She has nothing to do with the club, just an old neighbor of LeeLee’s. She’s a great lady,” he explains.
I nod. It could work.
“You trust her?” I ask.
I have never left Stella alone with anybody except my parents. Not even with Scotty. I haven’t trusted him since the day I married him. No way would I leave my baby alone with him.
“Yeah, she’s a good lady—grandmotherly and very sweet. Bear loves her, and LeeLee trusts her completely,” he explains.
“Okay,” I say, nodding my head.
“Go to bed, yeah?” Bates mutters.
I don’t say another word. I need sleep. I can’t think about Bates or my life for a moment longer.
I change into an oversized shirt and leave my jeans in a pile on the floor before I crawl into Bates’ bed and slide beneath his cool sheets.
My eyes flutter closed the second my head hits the pillow, and I fall into a dreamless sleep. Thoughts of Scotty, of his abuse and the fear I hold, disintegrate.
I am safe.
Stella is safe.
Bates has us, and no way would he ever let anything happen to my girl and me. Of that, I am certain. Even if I can never fully give myself to him as a lover.
I can’t be certain that he’ll stay if I give myself to him ever again. He ran from me, and now I have a child, running from the both of us would damage not only me, but Stella too.
He was right when he said she’d been through enough, she has.
I will always have faith in Bates as a protector. He’s changed, he’s hardened, and through all that, I can still see that there is that boy he used to be, all those years ago, deep down, somewhere.
SNIPER
I rub my hand over my face.
Fuck.
This girl breaks me.
Everything inside of me is calling to claim her, but she isn’t ready. Not even close to it. I don’t know if she ever will be. At this point, all signs are pointing to never.
She has to heal and get free from that fucking dickwad’s hold over her. I don’t know what I’ll do if she never lets me back in there.
I want to believe that I could talk her into giving herself to me again, but she’s so fucking damaged right now.
I’ll be there for her every step of the way, anyway she wants me.
Now, if I could only tell my dick that. He’s ready to be buried inside of his home—Brentlee’s body.
My phone rings and I frown at the name flashing on my screen.
“Fury,” I say.
It’s late. Since he’s been home from prison, he doesn’t stay up late. He’s always home with his wife and family.
“He came lookin’ for her. She was right,” he mumbles into the phone.
I already know he’s called the cops to his place; Vault informed me earlier tonight when he did a check on her old place.
“And?” I ask, wondering what’s next.
Scotty’s an abusive piece of shit with ties to people high up in the community. He not only doesn’t want to look bad, he doesn’t strike me as a guy who would easily give up on something he thought was his.
Win at all costs.
Not that I’m any different, I just won’t beat Brent’s ass to get her to come to heel.
“Told him I didn’t know why the fuck he was lookin’ for her here since we ain’t seen or talked to her in six fuckin’ years,” Fury grunts. “He didn’t buy it. He’s suspicious and I wouldn’t be surprised if he shows at the club or the clubhouse soon.”
“I’ll be ready for him,” I grunt.
“No, Snipe, this guy is an asshole. You’ll be no good to Brent in jail, trust me. We play this smart and legal. I already contacted a lawyer today. We meet with him tomorrow in Boise,” Fury says. It shocks the shit out of me.
“That’s almost a full day’s drive,” I point out.
“We’re all goin’. Call it an overdue family fuckin’ vacation. Kent wants to take the kids to the zoo or some shit. We’re leaving at eight in the morning. Make sure you got your girls ready and we’ll meet at your place and take off from there. I think that fucker has eyes on my house just waiting for Brent to show. I ain’t givin’ him a chance to catch her,” Fury growls.
I know he’s doing this for Kentlee, but he’s also doing it because he’s watched a young girl get beat the fuck down and that shit ain’t right.
“Eight, we’ll be ready,” I say. “She isn’t workin’ at the Devil’s Club,” I announce.
“Didn’t think you’d allow that shit,” Fury chuckles from the other end of the phone.
I sigh, because it’s so hypocritical, since I’m the one who pushed his woman into working as a cocktail waitress at the strip club.
“She’s going to manage the bar at the clubhouse. Clean and order booze and shit like that. She’ll be safer inside there than anywhere else,” I say, waiting for Fury to deny me.
<
br /> “What’re you gonna do when a brother wants to tap that?” he asks with a hint of amusement in his voice.
I’m not fucking amused in the slightest.
“She’s claimed. She’s mine. Nobody touches her but me,” I growl.
“She wearing a patch saying she’s yours? She gonna have your name inked on her body?”
“Doesn’t matter, brother. She’s been mine since she was a kid. Any other man looks at her with anything other than sister affection, I’ll kill him. Slowly,” I state. Fury bursts out laughing.
“You’re a fuckin’ goner for this bitch,” he says.
“Always have been,” I murmur into the phone.
“All right, brother. I get it. Got the other sister spread out in my own bed,” he says laughing.
“Brother,” I groan trying not to picture LeeLee spread out in any bed.
“Fuckin’ fact. Pussy’s the best I ever had. Figure that’s a family trait, since you ain’t had it in a decade and you’re ready to give up every other cunt on earth for her without a second thought,” he says, laughing uncontrollably, like he’s a goddamned comedian.
Asshole.
“See you tomorrow, fucker,” I grind out, hanging up the phone without waiting for a response.
I stand up from the couch and start to shut down the house. I check every single door and window before I go to the coat closet and open my safe.
I didn’t want to have any guns just lying around with Stella in the house, but I won’t be able to get to my safe in the middle of the night very quickly, so I’ll need my handgun available.
No way is that asshole getting the jump on me. I take my favorite nine mill out of my safe before locking it again and shoving the gun in the back of my waistband.
I go back to the couch and sit down. I’m not tired yet. Horny, but not tired. If I could sink myself inside of Brentlee, I would in a hot minute; but I’m not about to fuck up my chance with her.
This is a second chance to make her permanently mine. I have to play it right. I have to make her want me, not need me. She’s been through enough hell, and I want to give her a taste of heaven.
I hope I don’t fuck up.
The Notorious Devils MC: Complete Collection BoxSet Page 31
