Title Sinful Tales of Desirable Ladies

by Lucinda Nelson

  “We don’t see eye-to-eye, him and I. I can’t imagine why he’d be kind to me.”

  “Well, you’d better start seeing eye-to-eye with him, Maggie. We’d be on the streets without him and utterly disgraced.”

  “But doesn’t that frighten you, Joseph? That we’re so… so indebted to him?”

  “I trust him. And you should too.”

  It was far easier said than done. The most important man in Maggie’s life – her father - had disappointed and lied to her, and she found it hard to believe that a man like Henry would do anything out of pure kindness. She kept waiting to discover his ulterior motive. Waiting for him to do something that would definitively prove that she was right about him. That he was a cad and a scoundrel.

  But though he could be thoughtless and he had a dismissive manner, his staff wouldn’t speak a bad word about him. He’d taken Joseph and Maggie on as members of the household, chosen to pay them well, promised to keep their secret, and now he was giving Maggie an advance after she’d criticized him the night before.

  She just didn’t understand it.

  “Try not to rile him up, Maggie,” Joseph said. “Please.”

  Maggie nodded, and he kissed her forehead before going back to work. That night, Maggie resolved that she would apologize to Henry for stepping out of line and for criticizing him. She’d vouch to be humbler and more grateful. But when she went to his study and knocked on the door that evening, while fiddling with the sash of her dress, he didn’t answer.

  She remembered being with him in his study the night before. The closeness. The electricity in the air. It made her mouth feel dry and her breaths a little unsteady, which she couldn’t explain. She straightened her dress and knocked again, but no one came.

  Henry was always in his study in the evening. Perplexed, she went to find Alfred. “Alfred,” she said, as she approached him in the kitchens. “I don’t suppose you know where Lord Rivers is, do you?”

  “Oh, he’s gone, my dear,” Alfred replied, in his aged, raspy voice.

  “Gone where?”

  Alfred smiled a little. “I’m never quite sure,” he admitted. “He doesn’t often stay in one place when he’s away from the house.”

  “Will he be gone long?”

  “It’s possible,” Alfred replied. “We never know how long he’ll be gone for. All we can do is be ready for his return.”

  Maggie was speechless. “But, what about Alicia?”

  Alfred’s soft smile slipped away, and it was clear that he didn’t know what to say.

  “Was she told?”

  “Nurse usually tells her,” Alfred confessed.

  And just like that, Maggie’s indignation was revived.

  Alfred bid her a goodnight, but Maggie did not go to bed. Instead, she sat up in a chair by her window, looking out over the grounds. She felt like Henry was an enigma she couldn’t work out. A puzzle. When Alicia had gone missing, it had been clear that Henry was afraid for her. It was clear that he loved her, in his own way.

  But then to disappear, for God only knew how long, and without telling his daughter? Maggie had always struggled to let things go. She couldn’t stand not to know something that she felt was important. And for some strange reason, understanding Henry Rivers felt important.

  ***

  Every day that passed, Maggie half-expected Henry to return. But he didn’t. And every day, Alicia asked her when he would be home.

  Since their little adventure together, Alicia had opened up to Maggie. She came to their lessons eager to learn and became a lot more talkative. She wanted Maggie to know everything about her, including her favorite spots to hide. And as they spent more time together, Alicia grew on Maggie a great deal.

  The girl had a witty tongue for a five year old, and her mischief never ceased to make Maggie laugh. She’d thought that Alicia was a quiet child, at first, but she realized now that she’d been wrong about that.

  Alicia wasn’t quiet. She was reserved with people she didn’t trust and remarkably intelligent. That was the trouble really. Alicia was so clever that she couldn’t be so easily distracted as other children. If she had something on her mind, she fixated on that thing in an almost adult fashion.

  The thing on her mind in those coming weeks was her father’s absence.

  “But why did he go?” She asked Maggie, for what had to be the hundredth time.

  “I think he had some business to attend to,” Maggie answered, though the truth was that she still had no idea why Henry had left.

  “Why didn’t he tell me? Or come say goodbye?”

  This was a harder question to answer, and Maggie didn’t enjoy lying to Alicia. Having earned her trust, she didn’t want to risk it. “I’m not sure,” she confessed, in a soft and reluctant voice. “But he’ll come home soon. And when he does, he’ll be so happy to see you. I’m certain he’s missing you awfully.”

  This placated Alicia, but it didn’t stop the conversation from repeating itself the next day, and the next day, and every day. When Maggie saw a carriage coming towards the estate a week later, she was surprised to find herself absolutely thrilled. She couldn’t wait to see Alicia’s face when her father returned.

  But there was more to it than that. Maggie had to admit to herself that things had been rather dull without Henry. She’d gotten used to the tension, the constant unspoken battle between them. It made her feel alive, and she wanted that feeling back.

  Maggie rushed down to meet him in the courtyard, but it wasn’t Henry who stepped out of the carriage. “Lord Crawley,” she said, surprised.

  “Miss Riley. You look disappointed to see me.” As he said this, he bowed and kissed the back of her hand. He looked up at her from beneath his dark brows as he did this, and his gaze was so direct and astute that Maggie was forced to recover from her astonishment.

  She blinked and shook her head quickly. “Not in the least,” she promised him. “Only surprised. I thought that Lord Rivers might be returning today.”

  Lord Crawley flashed her a lopsided, charming smile. “Do you miss him so terribly?”

  Maggie felt the strangest urge to answer that question defensively. She almost balked and told him that it was impossible for her to miss such a man. But she reminded herself that this was Henry’s friend and bit her tongue.

  She smiled, but knew it looked false. “His daughter misses him,” she explained.

  “Ahh,” Lord Crawley answered, his own smile slipping. “Yes, I imagine she does.”

  Maggie knew that she shouldn’t ask questions. As far as Lord Crawley was aware, she was no more than a governess. And if she wanted to keep that secret, she should behave like it. But she was reminded of something that Henry had said when her and Joseph had first arrived at Radingley. That they needn’t worry about their secret being revealed, because he never had visitors.

  And yet Lord Crawley had come twice since Maggie had arrived at Radingley. “It surprises me that you’re here,” Maggie said. “I didn’t realize that Lord Rivers entertained much.”

  At this, Lord Crawley laughed. “He doesn’t. I can’t even recall the last time I heard of him having a guest, besides myself.”

  “And yet you come.”

  “Yes, well, we’ve been friends for a long time. And the poor fellow can’t keep me away, despite how he tries.”

  What a peculiar thing to say. He looked as if he was joking, but she had to wonder if there was some truth in it. “Why does Lord Rivers not have many guests?” Maggie asked, trying to keep her voice as casual as possible. She didn’t want to be suspected of snooping.

  Lord Crawley hesitated for a moment, as if he wasn’t quite sure how to answer, then said, “He just isn’t the social type.” It didn’t appear that Lord Crawley would be anymore forthcoming than that.

  Feeling disappointed, Maggie said, “I am sorry that you’ve come all this way to see him, but I’m afraid that he isn’t here, my Lord.”

  “I know he isn’t here,” Lord Crawley answer
ed.

  Maggie frowned. “Pardon me then, my Lord, but what brings you to Radingley, if not to see Lord Rivers?”

  Lord Crawley smiled again, and she realized that he was quite handsome. Particularly his smile, which was a little lopsided, but warm and sincere. “Perhaps there is someone else I’d like to see.”

  Maggie was entirely confused, which clearly showed in her expression, because Lord Crawley said, “It’s you.”

  “Pardon?”

  His smile widened. “I’ve come to see you, Miss Riley. If it pleases you.”

  Maggie was momentarily speechless. Had this man approached her a year ago, before her parents’ death, she might have been thrilled that he wanted to spend time with her. But under these circumstances… when he thought her nothing but a governess… it was unusual to say the least. And she had to be wary. She’d heard of men pursuing household staff. They didn’t treat common women as well as they treated ladies.

  In her wariness, Maggie took a small step back. Her expression was mistrusting, and she didn’t try to disguise it. “I’m not sure that I understand, Lord Crawley.”

  This didn’t seem to put Lord Crawley off in the slightest. “I’d like you to take a walk with me,” he clarified. “Because I’m rather intrigued by you, and I think you might make for good conversation.”

  His expression didn’t change. It was calm, and neither expectant nor demanding. Though Maggie felt sure that such a request had to be more complicated than he presented it, she had to admit that his blunt answer was persuasive. Particularly because she wanted it to be that simple. She wanted to be treated like a lady again, who could go for a walk in a garden with a lord without wondering what their intentions might be.

  Which made her wonder if perhaps Lord Crawley knew the truth about her. If Henry had given her away so soon. Once that thought occurred to her, saying no wasn’t an option. She needed to know where she stood and if this gentleman knew her secret, so that she could protect herself and her brother by securing his secrecy.

  “Very well,” Maggie responded.

  Lord Crawley inclined his head and gestured for her to walk with him towards the path. She fell into step beside him and, for a few moments, they walked in silence.

  “I hope,” he said, after a while. “That you do not feel obligated to walk with me.”

  “It is unusual for a lord to ask a governess to take a walk,” Maggie noted.

  “It is,” he agreed, nodding. “But I’m quite the fan of the unusual. And I try not to let the usual keep me from doing things I think I might enjoy.”

  She smiled a little. “Like walking with a governess?”

  “Like walking with you,” he corrected. “It’s not a regular thing for me. Asking governesses to take walks.”

  Maggie laughed, and the sound surprised her. It had been a while since she’d laughed with a man. Since discovering what her father had done, and how well he’d kept it hidden, it had become so hard to be at ease around men.

  “Well, then I hope my conversation does not disappoint you and put you off walking with governesses for life,” she replied, with an amused smile.

  “I’m sure it won’t,” he assured her. He walked at an easy-going pace, with his hands clasped together behind his back.

  Maggie watched his face for several moments as they walked. It was strange that, though Lord Crawley seemed like an interesting gentleman, all Maggie could think of was ways to get him talking about Henry. After all, this was her chance. The best chance she’d have at improving her understanding of Lord Henry Rivers.

  “You don’t strike me as being much like Lord Rivers. Do you have much in common?”

  Lord Crawley shook his head. “We don’t have much in common anymore,” he admitted. “But he’ll recover.”

  Maggie frowned. “Recover from what?”

  Lord Crawley offered her a grateful smile. “You needn’t be polite. I’m well aware that his circumstances are common knowledge.”

  Maggie stared at him blankly, until his smile slipped away and his brows lifted. “Do you really not know?”

  “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about, my Lord.”

  “Oh.” Lord Crawley suddenly looked extremely uncomfortable. “Then we needn’t speak of it.”

  The very prospect of not knowing was driving her insane. She didn’t want to push the matter. Nosiness was an ugly characteristic and was especially unbecoming in a governess addressing a lord. So she tried to think of what it might be, so that she could nudge him towards answers without asking outright.

  “Do you mean his wife’s death?” She blurted. The moment the words were out of her mouth, she regretted them. It felt like the whole world went silent around them. She swallowed when he looked down at the ground. “I’m sorry.” Maggie added quickly. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “Please don’t take my silence as a reprimand,” Lord Crawley answered. “It isn’t.”

  “I have made you uncomfortable.”

  It had been an assumption, of course, that his wife was dead. But a fair one. It was safe to assume that a gentleman of Henry’s station, with a child, was bound to have lost his wife to some terrible illness or accident. Maggie had never given it much thought until Lord Crawley had mentioned Henry’s ‘recovery’, perhaps because she’d been too absorbed in her own circumstances.

  At that thought, she suddenly felt the sting of remorse. How had she not thought of it? Had she been so consumed by suspicion that she’d overlooked the obvious? A motherless child and a wifeless man.

  “It’s not that,” Lord Crawley assured her, breaking her train of thought. “It’s just that the subject is delicate. You see… well, his wife isn’t dead.”

  Maggie stopped walking and stared at him. “Then where is she?” She asked, with a deepening frown. She knew that her questions were improper. That she shouldn’t be speaking to him so liberally, but as the mystery of Henry Rivers became more complicated, it was too easy to forget her current station.

  Lord Crawley stopped too and turned to face her. “Shall we sit?” He suggested, gesturing towards a bench. Maggie nodded and followed him to the bench. She didn’t speak. She daren’t risk the subject turning, because she finally felt like she was getting a little closer to the truth.

  Had Henry abused his wife and she’d fled? Had he not been married at all and decided to raise a bastard child? Was Alicia even his daughter? Her posture was stiff with impatience, but she tried not to let it show in her expression. “You were saying?” She pressed, as gently as she could.

  Lord Crawley expelled a slow breath. “I really shouldn’t be speaking to you about this,” he admitted, in a slow voice, which made it clear that he meant to go on. He looked over his shoulder, back towards the house, as if he half-expected Henry to come running down the path.

  “You see,” he began, while Maggie held her breath. “She left him a year ago.”

  “That’s extremely unusual,” Maggie answered, blinking quickly in surprise. It was an answer, at last, but it didn’t satisfy her. It just raised a thousand more questions. “To leave her daughter? How could she?”

  In the seconds before he answered, her mind ran amuck with possibilities. And none of them reflected well on Henry. She couldn’t see a realistic scenario that didn’t leave him culpable somehow.

  “I don’t know.”

  This surprised Maggie more than anything else.

  With a sad expression, Lord Crawley lifted his shoulders, looking almost defeated. “That’s the truth. People have asked me that before, of course, but I’ve always given the same answer. I don’t know why she left.”

  “What do you know?” Maggie wondered. “You surely know more than most.”

  “That’s true,” he admitted, nodding.

  “Did you know her?”

  “A little. We’d met a few times, but I must admit that I steered clear of Radingley after their marriage,” he confessed. “Henry was terribly smitten, you see.”


  “Is that a bad thing?”

  Lord Crawley smiled and shook his head. “Not exactly. But it was rather irritating. She consumed all of Henry’s attention. She demanded it every moment of the day. And all that cooing and simpering... It just wasn’t like the Henry I’d known.”

  Now that was hard to imagine. “Lord Rivers? Cooing?”

  “He was a man in love. At least, he thought he was.”

  “And her? Was she in love?”

  “That’s the trouble,” Lord Crawley said. “We all thought she was, but then she just left. Took up with some duke abroad.”

  “God…” she breathed, with a shake of her head. “How did she do it? How did she leave?”