Placing my plate next to hers on the table, I drag myself up off the sofa. If I could describe myself right now, it would be Kevin from Kevin and Perry, I just want shout ‘It’s not fair’ whilst stamping my feet. My evening far from what I had planned.
“This had better be bloody important, I’m telling you now bitch.”
“Oh it’s important alright.” I hear the cheekiness in her voice. What is going on with her?
Just as I get to the door she pulls it open all the way, my jaw hits the floor, my mouth hanging open like a goldfish.
There in my door way is none other than Kane.
I thought he looked hot in a suit, but right now he is looking soaking wet knickers hot. He’s got a charcoal grey t-shirt clinging to every inch of muscle he has from the waist up, his tattoos on his neck and arm coming into view even more. Along with a pair of the tightest dark blue ripped jeans. Holy fuck. No wonder Donna couldn’t handle the door knocker on her own. I don’t even know if I can handle him on my own yet, so she stood no chance.
I find myself studying him a little too long. That’s when I notice the bulge in his groin area. I know I’ve had him inside me, but fuck me, he looks huge from this angle.
“Luce… you’re staring again.” I hear him say.
“Again? You’re telling me you know this hot piece of ass and you haven’t told me?” Don sounds like I’ve stolen her favourite toy from her. “Lucy, you do know who he is don’t you? He’s Kane Williams… I mean why is the Kane Williams knocking on your door, saying all kinds of crazy shit? Have you been holding out on me bitch?”
Kane chuckles at her outburst, the cocky shit.
“It’s a really long story Don, I never told anybody about him and right now I can’t tell you, I will though I promise.” I whisper to her, even though Kane’s going to hear, as he’s really not standing that far away from us. I try to reassure her. She looks hurt and I don’t blame her. We never keep secrets from each other, yet for some reason I’ve kept Kane from her.
I’ve never told anyone about Kane, not a single person, and that includes Donna. A part of me felt, if I didn’t tell anyone then he never existed, never hurt me, never abandoned me when I needed him the most. I never said anything because that part of my life was over. I was a completely different person back then, a shallow empty shell of a person. People would single me out from the rest, make me feel like I wasn’t good enough and that I’d end up like my mother. She was the only person I had left when Kane left me. But even she was hardly ever there, and not long after Kane left me, she did a disappearing act for quite a long time to, no explanation no nothing. I just had to get on with my life like nothing had happened, and everything was still normal. Only now I know a mother leaving a child alone at that age, is not normal at all. And in the moment I decided I didn’t want to be that person anymore. So as soon I graduated with top marks, I left the shitty town and everyone and everything in it. Leaving all my memories with them.
I started a fresh life, it took me a long time but eventually I had a new job, a new home and new friends. But most importantly I was a new me. Strong and independent. Talking about him, would take me back to the past, a past I had no intentions of ever revisiting.
But that soon started to change, Kane walked back into my life, in fact he fell into my life, I wasn’t sure if it was pure coincidence he came back into my life or not, I’m also still not a hundred percent sure on how I feel about it.
Which brings me back to the here and now, Kane standing in my door way, I haven't said anything for what to me feels like an eternity, but is only a few seconds.
“Right. Well, I’ll just be leaving now.” Donna speaking pulls me back down to earth.
“Don, please I’ll explain everything soon… I promise.” I don’t know what to say to her, I feel bad that I didn’t tell her, but I still don’t know the full story myself.
“It’s ok really… plus you’ll tell me when you’re ready, so it’s fine, trust me. Love ya.” She pulls me in for a long hug whispering in my ear. “I want every single detail about tonight.” As she pulls away she winks at me. She slips on her shoes and coat and turns to Kane. “Goodnight gorgeous.” She’s out the door and in her car faster than Usain Bolt. Her food now forgotten.
Kane clears his throat before he speaks.
“I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything?”
“No, she’ll be ok, don’t worry about it. You can tell me why you're here though?” I still haven’t let him in. I don’t know if I want to yet, being in a car alone with him was one thing, but him being in my house is a completely different matter altogether. For starters there’s a bed, it’s an even more dangerous situation to be in. A situation that I have to decide if I want to be in or not. This man is dangerous, he’s dangerous to my heart and to my sanity. I make a split decision there and then on the spot, even without him answering my question.
He’s worth everything to me.
“Come in.” I pull the door open wider allowing him into my space.
“Hungry?” I ask. “There’s plenty of Chinese left if you want some, Don thought it was ok to buy the entire shop.” I say, nerves starting to takeover now he’s over the threshold.
“When do I ever turn down food Luce? That’s the one thing that hasn’t changed about me.” He laughs and my nerves start to disappear. He always did have the knack for calming me down. I sort him a plate of food out, warming it in the microwave for two minutes. Once I’ve handed him his food we take the same route me and Don did not only fifteen minutes ago. I pour him some wine in a fresh glass and we eat in silence, it’s not an uncomfortable silence, it’s like we’ve been doing this our entire lives. It feels weird, yet good at the same time.
“You going to tell me why you're here now, or are we just going to sit and watch Friends all night?” I ask breaking the silence.
“Well.. if you want the truth, I just wanted to see you. I couldn’t wait till next week. All I can think about is the night in my car. How you’re lips felt brushing against mine...” He’s put his plate back down on the table and is moving closer to me, taking my face in his hands. My heart rate starts beating rapidly in my chest, whilst beads of sweat start to appear on the back of my neck.
Is it me or has it all of a sudden got very hot in here.
“How my dick felt with you wrapped around me…”
Oh dear God.
I can feel myself getting wetter by the second with his words alone, he hasn’t even touched me yet. I don’t even know if he’s going to. I’m silently begging him with my eyes, I’m just not sure if he’s getting the message. Maybe he thinks I’m just like my mother. Easy, a slut… I mean he must do after they way I behaved the other night.
“Whatever it is your thinking baby girl, stop it right this minute. I can see your brain doing over time in that pretty head of yours.” He warns me.
How does he do that? I swear he’s wired to my brain sometimes. It’s bloody freaky. I’m still going to deny it though.
“I wasn’t thinking anything.” As I say it I scratch the tip of my nose, it’s my way of trying to hide my little white lie.
“You have always been a shit liar Luce, did you really think I never picked up on the nose scratching thing you do? I’m a man, I’m not blind. You used to do it all the time. I guess your habits haven’t changed much over time either.”
He’s got me there. This is how it used to be between us... easy, comfortable. I’ve missed this. Only now we’re adults, adults who clearly want each other so bad the sexual chemistry in my living room is bouncing of the walls. I have to tell him what I was thinking, even if it puts my own mind at rest. If he thinks I am like my mother then he’ll leave before I get in too deep with him, if he doesn’t then I guess I’ll see where this goes.
“I’m worried that you think I’m like my mother, I mean I wasn’t exactly…”
“Just fucking stop talking Luce.” He cuts me off mid-sentence. “I have never once or will I ever thi
nk you are anything like your mum, you’re polar opposites to each other. The other night was wonderful, it was how it was always meant to be Luce… you and me… together.” His voice is all gravelly. He’s being deadly serious, his eyes have always his giveaway, just like he can with me, I can still clearly read him like a book.
“Ok.” Is my answer. Simple. I don’t want to talk anymore right now.
With that, he closes the small gap that’s between us completely. He pushes my hair that’s fallen in front of my face away with a stroke of his fingertips, even that small gesture has me panting like a rabid dog.
Jesus… calm down Luce… calm the fuck down.
“You're so beautiful baby girl, you always have been. That’s the reason I use to always got into so many fights at school. All the lads wanted you.”
I scoff at his words, that’s not true at all. They all hated me.
“You can think I’m bullshitting all you want, but I’m telling you now, I broke Eddie Hall's nose because I caught him perving on you after P.E one day.”
That memory hits me like a freight train. I remember Eddie being a knob head to me more than once, I ignored him like I did everyone else. When one particular day I saw him with a plaster strip across his nose and he mumbled a “sorry” at me under his breath as he passed me in the corridor.
“Oh my god you didn’t? That was you? I just heard he got hit in the face with a football.” I’m shocked. I remember Eddie walking around school with two black eyes and a swollen nose for weeks.
“That was me, I threatened them all. If they ever told you or I caught any of them doing the same thing as Eddie, then they would get the same from me.”
Oh wow. He really did protect me, more than I ever really knew about.
“Now do you believe me Luce? You weren’t meant for them, you were always mine. You still are and will always be mine. My heart has only ever beat for you, when you were hurting I hurt as well.” He cups my face with his hands and presses his lips to mine, the minute they touch I’m lost, lost in him, lost in all that we could have had if he hadn’t of left. This is our time now. We’ve got a second chance and I’m not going to waste a second of it.
I kiss him back, more urgent, more forceful. Our mouths fused together, both of us using our tongues trying to bring us both closer together. It’s hot, and I need him in me now. I grab the back of his neck, scraping my nails along the back of his head which only spurs him on even more.
“You're going to be the death of me, but at least I’ll die a happy man.” He manages to get out in between kissing the life out of me.
In a flash he goes all caveman on me. He’s up of the sofa, dragging me with him. Before I can protest, I’m hanging upside down over his shoulder.
“Bedroom.” He growls. He’s on a mission, and who am I to stop him?
I manage to give him directions to my room, within seconds we’re in my bedroom and he’s lowering me back down onto my very unsteady feet.
“The other night was fantastic, but now I’m going to do what I’ve always wanted to do to you. And that’s treat you like the queen you are. I’m going to worship every single inch of your body. Please tell me you're ok with this?”
Is he friggin kidding me? Of course I’m ok with that.
I don’t voice my answer, instead I show him.
Pushing him slightly by the shoulder, he lands on my bed with a bounce. I step back from him, and ever so slowly I unzip my skirt, letting it fall to the floor. After kicking it away from around my feet, I unbutton my silk blouse letting it hang open on my shoulders before discarding it along with my skirt. I’m now standing in front of him in my cream lace bra and matching lace boy shorts.
The look on his face gives me the confidence to carry this on, taking a step forward I pull my hair out from its confines of the hair tie I have in, letting it tumble down my back.
“So fucking gorgeous.” He whispers.
He makes a grab for me as I get closer, pulling me to him so my boobs are eye level with him.
“You have no idea how many cold showers I’ve taken whilst fantasizing about your rack Luce.” He states.
I don’t get given time to respond, my bras whipped off me and thrown somewhere, but right now I couldn’t care less.
He take’s both of my arse cheeks in his hands, hooking his thumbs in the elastic waist of my boy shorts. I know what he’s going do before he even does it...
And there they go. My boy shorts are in shreds on the floor.
“Did you really have to tear them off me? That’s two pairs now you’ve ruined.”
“Yes I did, they’re in my way. Inconvenient little fuckers.”
Well that’s me told.
I notice that he’s still fully clothed.
Leaning forward I take the hem of his t-shirt between my fingers, pulling it up his body slowly as I prepare myself for what I’m about to finally see, and now I have a front row seat. I close my eyes, trying to take deep breaths but it’s no use. The minute I discard his t-shirt across my room, the wind is knocked right out of me. I have to hold onto his shoulders to steady my weak knees, this man is not the boy I used to know at all. He’s gorgeous, fit and downright sexy. That tattoos I’ve always been so curious about, I can see each and every line, they’re all so intricate, so detailed. I look at the one on his forearm first, the one I noticed the night I was in his club. It has no specific meaning, I don’t think, as it looks like any other tribal images people have these days, but the biggest one on his body goes from the base of his groin before running up his left flank and over his shoulder, ending on his neck where I’ve seen it peeking out of his shirts a few times before. This one looks like more work has gone into it, every single line or block of shading must mean something to him, that much I can tell.
And don’t even get me started on the muscles he’s sporting, he must have to do some serious working out to get a body like this. It actually puts my waif frame to shame. He’s ripped, toned and has muscles in places I didn’t even know existed. Every move he makes a different muscle flexes at me, making me see his tattoos from a different angle, noticing a little piece of art that I didn’t know was there before, his body is a piece of art, even with so much meaningfully graffiti all over it.
“Wow.” I manage to get out.
“Luce, you're going have to stop this staring shit baby girl, you're going to give me a complex at this rate.” He laughs.
“I… I’m sorry, it’s just wow. You aren’t exactly how I remember you.”
“I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or not.”
“Oh it’s definitely a compliment.” I reassure him.
Standing from my bed, he takes hold of my thighs making my legs instantly wrap around his waist.
“Less of the compliments for now baby girl, I’m dying to be inside you and you talking is taking my worshipping time away from me.”
I’m stopped from giving him a comeback remark when his lips land on mine, he turns and places me on my bed, his warmth leaving me when he stands to his full height whilst I’m left looking up at him.
His jeans are unbuttoned at what seems like a snail's pace, so I sit up and rip the buggers open, yanking them down his legs. He’s commando underneath them, I should be shocked… I’m not. The thing that does surprise me is the length and width of him, it sure does explain all the aches and pains I had the following morning after our last escapade.
From nowhere I start to have unexpected feelings, hitting me right in my chest. My face must drop and give me away.
“Baby girl… what’s wrong? You’ve gone pale.” He’s concerned.
I don’t know how to tell him I’m scared, that I’m petrified if I let him back in that he’ll break me again. All I want to do is run right now, protect myself and my heart because I know in this moment that I will never love anybody the way I love him. My earlier confidence soon vanishes.
He crouches down in front of me on his hunches, to anybody else a naked K
ane in that position would be funny, but to me it’s sexy. He’s stopped all things sexual to take care of me, all because he saw something wasn’t right with me. My face giving me away so easily, he never did miss a trick when it came to me and I could never lie to him.
“Luce, talk to me baby girl, you're scaring me now. I know something just happened in that head of yours. What’s got you spooked.” He’s practically begging me, yet I still sit there mute with my head bowed.
He take’s my chin between his thumb and forefinger, making me look him in eye, that’s when I crumble.
“I’m so sorry.” I sob. “I’m just so scared Kane, scared that if I let you in, you're going to rip me to shreds like before. I… I can’t go through that again, I just can’t. The pain was unbearable.” I’m a crying mess now, he must think I’m Bipolar with my sudden change in mood. One minute I’m ripping his clothes off him, the next I’m having some sort of mental break down on him. I wouldn’t blame him if he walked out my door and I never saw him again.
Only he does the exact opposite to what I expect, he pulls me into his arms, at the same time he strokes my hair. Instantly calming me.
“You have nothing to be scared of Luce, I’m going nowhere. I only left you last time because I had no choice, I know you still want answers but please believe me when I say I’m here to stay this time. You’re it for me, you always have been and always will be.” With them final words out of his mouth, I push him back so he lands with a thud on my bedroom floor and proceed to kiss the life out of him.
“We good?” He questions, when I finally let the poor man breath.
“We’re good.” I tell him.
All my nerves now replaced with happiness.
He rolls us over, so he’s firmly planted between my legs.
“Don’t ever think I will intentionally hurt you Luce, I’ve waited far too long to get you back. I intend on keeping you forever.” His words send a shiver through my entire body, causing the deep ache I had before to resurface at full pelt.
Making Our Way Back Page 11
