by J. L. Wilder
“It’s like we’re little kids,” someone grumbled.
Professor Browning heard. “It is not like you’re little kids,” he said, his voice patient but firm. “Always remember that there are feral bears in the woods and that you’re no match for them in a fight. This is not about a lack of trust in you. It’s about keeping you alive.”
He looked around the room, waiting to see if anyone would say anything else.
No one did.
“Anyone who doesn’t feel like they can comply with these rules is welcome to remain here at school,” Professor Browning said. “You’re not required to come on the wilderness trip. But it would be a shame to miss out because you were too stubborn to stay safe. Especially after the school has gone to such lengths to help protect you.”
Zoe couldn’t imagine that anyone would actually stay behind. Sure, it sucked that the rules were going to be so strict this year, but it was easy enough to understand why that was. And she didn’t know about the rest of her classmates, but she personally had been looking forward to the wilderness trip since freshman year. There wasn’t much Professor Browning could have told her that would have made her change her mind about wanting to go.
After class was dismissed, she and Daphne went back to their dorm room together. Zoe flipped through the pamphlet, skimming the paragraphs about the various lessons and activities that would be made available to them on the trip.
“I can’t believe we’ll be in the wilderness with the alphas for a whole week and we won’t even be able to talk to them,” Daphne moaned. “It’s going to be torture.”
“Have you ever gone a whole week without talking to Logan?” Zoe asked.
“Not since he got me my phone!”
“Well, it will probably be good for you,” Zoe said. “Frankly, you could stand to learn a little more independence.”
“What does an omega need with independence?”
“You were just telling me the other day that some alphas liked it,” Zoe reminded her.
“Sure, some alphas. I already have my alpha. I already know what he likes. Why should I be trying to cultivate independence when he likes me the way I am?”
“Because it’s good for you,” Zoe said. “What’s going on right now could absolutely happen in your real life, after school. If your pack is ever threatened, God forbid, Logan will have to be the one to go off and fight. He’ll be the one to defend you. And you’ll have to be able to keep it together while he’s away.”
“Absolutely not,” Daphne declared. “If we’re ever threatened, our whole family will run away together. I’m not sending Logan off to a fight that might kill him while I stay behind. That’s insane.”
“Alphas fight, Daphne,” Zoe said. “It’s what they do. And we’re lucky they do. If it weren’t for the alphas protecting us, we wouldn’t be able to go on this trip.”
“I wish we weren’t going,” Daphne said. “What do I want to go and spend a week in the wilderness for?”
Zoe stared at her friend in open amazement. “That sounds more like something I would say,” she pointed out. “Aren’t you the one who’s always reminding me how important it is to get in touch with our animal sides?”
“Yeah. Well, I don’t want to get in touch with my animal side by spending a week camping. I can think of other ways to connect to my wolf self.”
“Like what?” Zoe asked.
“Like spending a week with Logan. We hold back from our natures as much as we can, but we’ve been mated for two years. We’re both ready to take things to the next level.”
“You know you can’t,” Zoe said. “Not as long as you’re at school. That’s one rule they’re very serious about.”
“Well, it’s a stupid rule,” Daphne said. “What difference does it make if we’re having sex? We’re mates. He’s imprinted. It’s for life.”
“Because you’re an omega,” Zoe said. “You’re hyper-fertile, and if you start having sex, you’ll probably get pregnant. And you won’t have time to finish your studies if you have to take care of a litter.”
Daphne sighed. “I’m just tired of being separated from him,” she said.
“Don’t think about that,” Zoe said. “Think about the wilderness trip instead. Trust me, we’re going to have a great time, even if you can’t hang out with Logan. And at least we’ll be safe from those feral bears.”
Chapter Five
XAVIER
Hiking in human form was painful and annoying.
Human legs were not designed to bear the prolonged strain of ranging through the mountains. Human eyes were not designed to pick apart the different colors of the forest. Human ears were not made to detect threats.
And humans didn’t heal as quickly as wolves did. The wound on Xavier’s thigh ached with every step.
Louis traveled slowly, and Xavier could tell he was doing his best not to push the pace. He appreciated it, even though he had to remind himself with every step that their current predicament was not Louis’ fault.
We agreed to leave the cave, he told himself. We decided together. But that was a tough thing to remember when he was currently itching to go back and take a bite out of those fucking feral bears.
They stopped for lunch on the first day of their migration beside a river. “I’ll fish,” Louis said, pulling off his shirt and preparing to shift.
“I can help you,” Xavier said.
“No,” Louis said. “You rest. Check on your wound and see how it’s healing. Maybe you’ll be ready to run by tomorrow.”
“I can run this afternoon,” Xavier said. “It doesn’t even hurt anymore.”
Louis rolled his eyes. “You’re lying,” he said. “And if you don’t take care of it, you’re going to make it worse, and then it will be even longer before you can shift. Just use some common sense, for once, and take care of yourself.”
He waded into the river and stood very still. Xavier watched as his human form shifted, expanding and darkening until a broad-shouldered wolf stood before him.
He sighed. It was probably for the best. Louis was the more skilled fisherman anyway. Xavier had never had the patience to stand still and wait for the fish to forget that his furry legs were not part of their natural environment. He turned his attention to his wound, as Louis had suggested, carefully unwinding the bandage to take a look at it.
It was looking a lot better than it had when they had set out from their cave. Xavier could see that it was going to heal up without any problem—there would be no worry about infection, thank God. He was tempted to just remove the bandage and let nature take its course from here, but he knew, intellectually, that it was still a little early for that.
Besides, if Louis comes back and sees me without that bandage, he’s going to be pissed off to high heaven. And then he probably won’t share his fish.
It looked like they were just going to have to keep traveling in human form for a while longer. With a sigh, Xavier wrapped his leg back up, careful to make the bandage tight.
Louis came striding up from the water, a massive trout in his mouth. He dropped it on the ground at Xavier’s feet.
Xavier couldn’t help laughing. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll build a fire.”
Louis had the decency to trot a few feet away before shaking out his fur. He still got a bit of water on Xavier’s face, and Xavier yelped. Louis let out an amused bark.
“All right, hypocrite,” Xavier said. “Shift back. I’m not going to be the only one sitting around human.”
Louis turned away. A moment later, he had resumed his human form and was pulling on his pants. “Big enough fish for you?” he asked.
“I reckon it’ll do for the two of us.” If Xavier had been in wolf form, he would have been willing to eat the fish raw, but raw meat didn’t cut it in human form. Humans’ tastes were so much more delicate—not to mention their digestive systems. He got the fire going, then pulled out his pocketknife and began to clean the fish on a flat rock.
Louis move
d around the area, gathering wood and adding it to the fire. “Hunting and fishing will probably be easier down south, you know,” he said. “More small animals live down that way.”
“More big animals, too,” Xavier pointed out. “More predators. It’s not going to automatically be an easier life. Just a different one.”
“Right,” Louis said. “Well, I’m sure we’ll learn to make it work.”
Xavier finished cleaning the fish and laid it out over the fire to cook. It took only a moment to crisp up and be ready to eat. He removed it from over the flames and divided it carefully into two equal portions, and he and Louis began to eat.
“You know what I wish we had sometimes?” Louis said.
“What?”
“Silverware.”
Xavier choked on a fishbone he’d missed. “What?”
“Don’t you ever miss not having to suck the meat of whatever we’re having for dinner out from under your fingernails?” Louis asked. “Wouldn’t it be nice to eat with a fork like a civilized person for a change?”
“What’s wrong with the way we eat?” Xavier demanded.
“I mean, I’ve just been walking around on all fours,” Louis said. He held up his hands. Sure enough, they weren’t exactly clean. “I can taste the dirt on my fish.”
“That just gives it flavor,” Xavier said.
“Dirt flavor.”
“Well, if you don’t like it, go rinse your hands off in the river.”
“Then the fish would taste like river water.”
“It already tastes like river water,” Xavier said, exasperated. “It came from the river!”
“This is what I mean about you,” Louis said. “You’ve gone too wild, Xavier. It’s not natural.”
“It literally is natural.”
“No.” Louis shook his head. “Not for a shifter. You live your life as if you were a wild wolf. But a shifter is supposed to bring his animal self into balance with his human self. You’re supposed to be both. I live off the land just like you do, but I also like to clean up from time to time. I like food cooked the human way, with seasonings and a variety of flavors. And I don’t like raw meat and dirt in my dinner.”
Xavier sighed. “To be human is to be weak,” he said. “Don’t you remember the way things were back when we were with our pack?”
“Of course I remember,” Louis said. “I came with you, didn’t I?”
“You never told me why you did that,” Xavier said.
“It was because I knew you were right to leave,” Louis said. “You’d been complaining about the pack for weeks. I listened to you, you know. Everything you said about them being lazy and out of shape—it was all true.”
Xavier nodded. “All they did was lie around,” he said. “Ordering takeout food, watching TV, drinking beer. They never did anything for themselves. Their survival was no different from human survival. Even when they shifted, it was only to go out and howl at the moon, to try and spook the passersby on the highway. It was a game to them.”
Louis nodded. “I felt the same way,” he said. “I knew we could be more than that. But, Xavier, that doesn’t mean you have to abandon your human self altogether. There’s a middle ground. You can find your wild side without letting go of everything that ever made you human.”
But Xavier had pushed away his human side long ago. He had no interest in finding it again. No matter what Louis said, he was convinced that humanity was a weakness. The only way to remain strong was by fully embracing his wolf self, leaving his human self behind as much as he possibly could.
He swallowed the last of his fish and got to his feet. “Come on,” he said. “We should keep moving. I want to cover as much ground as possible before dark.”
THEY CAMPED THAT NIGHT at the base of a pine tree that looked as if it were as old as the entire forest.
“What are we looking for, do you think?” Louis asked. “In terms of a new place to live, I mean.”
“We’ll have to try to find another cave,” Xavier said. “But I’m worried that might be more difficult in the south. We’ll be further from the mountains.”
“There are low mountains in the south,” Louis said. “Depending on how far down we go, I’m sure we’ll be able to find something.”
Xavier nodded. “I hope you’re right about that,” he said. “I’ve gotten used to having a roof over my head.”
“Some wild wolves sleep under the stars,” Louis pointed out.
“Yeah,” Xavier said. “But they don’t tend to live as long as the ones who have caves to take shelter in. Besides, I may be a fan of living wild, but I’m definitely not interested in getting rained on. The cave was pretty great during a storm.”
“That’s true,” Louis said wistfully. “It is a shame that we had to leave it behind. I hope we can find another one like it.”
“It’ll also need to be near a water source, of course,” Xavier said. “Be damned if I’m going to run five miles every time I want a drink.”
“It wouldn’t be a bad idea to position ourselves near a food source as well,” Louis said. “We’ll hunt as much as we can, but if we can’t hunt, we’ll want to be able to gather. Fruit trees or bushes would be good.”
“This is starting to be a pretty long shopping list,” Xavier said. “I didn’t have all this in mind when we picked out the first cave. Did you?”
“No,” Louis said. “But now that we’ve been living there for a while, I feel like I can see more clearly than I could before what we need. I guess we got lucky with that place. It really did have everything.”
“It did,” Xavier agreed. “I’ll be surprised if we’re able to find another home that suits us so well.”
“Well, try to be optimistic,” Louis suggested. “We don’t know what we’re going to find until we get there. For all you know, our new home will be even better than the old one.”
“Sure,” Xavier groaned. “Keep hope alive.” He rolled over and closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to find him, but it was a long time before he managed to slip free of consciousness.
IT TOOK ANOTHER FULL day of travel in human form before Xavier was ready to run in his animal form again, but once he was, the trip was accomplished much more quickly. Less than a day after Xavier was able to take animal form, he and Louis found a new cave.
It was smaller than the last one they’d called home, but it was well lit during the day thanks to a big mouth and had a decently sized sheltered spot at the back that would stay dry even during the fiercest storms. A raspberry bush grew practically right outside—if Xavier stretched, he could pick berries without actually leaving the cave.
Best of all, there was a small waterfall about half a mile away. The water collected in a pool that was full of fish. It was big enough to swim in as well. Sage and cattails grew all around the bank, as well as a variety of lovely wildflowers that Xavier couldn’t name.
The first night in the new cave was the most restful Xavier had had in a long time. His anger at being run off his land by the feral bears up north seemed to have melted away, leaving him feeling nothing but content. After all, hadn’t it all worked out for the best? He and Louis were safe. Their new home was beautiful. He had nothing to complain about.
He spent the following morning ranging through the woods in wolf form, exploring and getting the lay of the land. He would come back to some of these places as a human, he thought. One thing human form absolutely had to recommend it was opposable thumbs—a wolf couldn’t set a snare. It would be good to rig some traps. Then he and Louis could enjoy a real feast to celebrate the fact that they had found a bear-free place to live.
He wandered in a circle around the cave, noting the prey animals that lived there. Lots of birds—far more than there had been in their old home. He and Louis would have to learn how to hunt them. That might be something else that only human hands could manage. He suspected his friend would have some ideas about it.
Satisfied that he had done enough exploring for the time bei
ng, he turned and headed back toward the cave to discuss his findings with Louis.
And paused.
There was a scent in the air. Something he recognized.
But it can’t be.
His body fell automatically into a defensive posture, and he crept forward slowly until he had reached the trunk of a fallen tree. He burrowed beneath it, eyes narrowed, struggling not to let a snarl escape from between his teeth, and waited.
I’m imagining things. It can’t be.
Even as he heard their footsteps, he felt sure he must be wrong.
Even as they came into view.
It had to be a mistake.
These must be different bears. Pure bears. Not shifters. Not the beasts they had come here to get away from. The only way those bears could have gotten down here this quickly was if—
Xavier’s heart sank.
They must have been following us the whole time. And there was no mistaking that smell. Much as Xavier didn’t want to believe it, he knew these were, in fact, the same bears they had been trying to leave behind.
Careful not to let himself be seen, Xavier withdrew from under the log. He backed away slowly, staying low to the ground and minding the placement of his paws. If he stepped on a twig or a leaf, if he made any sound at all, they would hear him, and it would all be over.
As soon as he felt safe in doing so, he turned and sprinted back to the cave.
He shifted as he reached it, skidding in on hands and knees. “Louis. They’re here.”
Louis stared at him. “What?”
Quickly, Xavier reported what he had seen in the woods. “They must have followed us,” he said bleakly. “What are we supposed to do? This place is perfect. I don’t want to keep running.”
But Louis shook his head. “I don’t think they’re following us,” he said. “Not this time. Think about it. If they were, what would have stopped them from coming directly here? They would have attacked us by now if they knew where we were.”
