by Skyla Madi
“How’d you know?”
He laughs once and it’s a noise that pierces my chest. It’s a simple noise, but one filled with bitterness and disgust. “You think I haven’t been keeping tabs on you all day? Portia may be your friend, but she was my Unfortunate first.”
He caught me. This is as far as I’m going to get… I drop to my knees and they sink into the mud as Kade removes his gun from my head and circles around to face me. Immediately, my face soaks with pleading tears and I don’t care if he sees. “Don’t make me go back, please. Let me go.”
He doesn’t move, only watches me with his unsympathetic expression and the gun pointed right at my face. His firearm doesn’t scare me. Part of me knows he won’t pull the trigger, but the other part wants him to. In my head, I keep seeing Thirteen’s face when she realised I was in love with my Fortunate. Am I that far gone? Is it him? Has he brainwashed me into thinking everything was okay? That I wanted to be there? I’ve betrayed Kade, but what’s worse is I’ve betrayed my own people.
“I gave you everything. I treated you well.” His hurt radiates through me, colder than any winter wind.
“You’ve treated me better than any other Fortunate would have, but don’t be so stupid!” I swipe my arm across my face, collecting tears. “I’m not equal to you. When you’re finished with me, I’m dead and you get someone else. I want to die on my own terms. Not yours, not anybody’s.”
He crouches in front of me and I fight the urge to flinch backwards.
“Please,” I beg him again and again, but he only grows frustrated.
“I can’t let you go, Nine. You’re mine.”
My heart swells in my chest before it squeezes and threatens to explode. “I don’t want to be yours! I’m not an animal. I’m not an object. I’m human, Kaden, I need to protect myself.”
“Protect yourself from what? What have I done that makes you see me so badly?” He pushes forward on his knees, not caring that his crisp black slacks are in the mud. “What have I done to make you want to leave?”
I have many answers to that question, but the only one that matters is the one that has sat at the back of my mind since I realised it. “You will never and can never love me like—” I drop my head, pressing my muddy hands to my face to stop a sob.
“Like what?” he whispers and I almost miss it. He grabs my face and the warm handle of his gun presses against my cheek. “Like what, Nine?”
I swallow and blink away more tears. “Like I love you.” His brows furrow. “You’ll never love me like I love you.”
I hold my breath while Kade stares at me. I can’t make out his expression, even under the beautiful glow of the moon, and it puts me on edge. He releases my face and I brace myself for punishment, or worse, silence. Kade clears his throat and the sound seems so innocent and shy. “I’m not capable of many things when it comes to romance, but I am capable of keeping my word.” He reaches for my face again and cups it in his hands. “I said I’d keep you and I will. I said I’d protect you and I will. You’ll be by my side until the day I die, but I can’t love you, Nine.”
I let my stare fall to the ground. Just like I expected, he can’t love me. How long until he decides he doesn’t want me anymore because I’m making things hard? I’m an Unfortunate, but I’m also a human being. I love and I need to be loved in return. I pull back and take his wrist in my hand. Manoeuvring his arm, I force him to press his gun against my forehead. When I left the manor tonight, I knew I was going to make it to the mine or I was going to die trying. Kade won’t let me leave and he’s out of his mind if he thinks I’m going back to that house. I won’t. I can’t tolerate another moment of him defending me. He lies to his own people to protect me and yet he says he doesn’t love me—or he can’t love me—like that makes it any better. I notice the tremble in his hand and the pained curve in his brows.
“You’re out of your fucking mind if you think I’m going to shoot you. You witnessed a traumatising thing today, that’s all this is.”
That’s not what this is. I know it’s not.
“Please,” I beg, my voice almost a whisper. “It’ll save us both a lot of trouble. People are going to ask questions. People are going to notice and I can’t live like this anymore.”
I never thought I’d beg someone to shoot me. Then again, I never expected to fall in love or to be so disobedient. I’m a horrible Unfortunate.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here?”
I jump as Kade forces himself to his feet. I squint into the darkness, searching for a face to match the voice and I see a man step out from behind a tree, his guise seemingly smug as he saunters closer. When he steps into the clearing, the light of the moon exposes his features. Vince. “Going somewhere, Unfortunate?”
The look on his face—the look of pure arrogance sends regret hurtling through the pit of my stomach. I’m as good as dead. Kade points the gun in Vince’s direction and he raises his arms.
“Easy, brother. You don’t want two Sario deaths on your conscience, do you?” He grins widely, exposing his teeth. “I went into father’s room and he was nowhere to be seen. I find it convenient he’d go missing right before his big announcement to remove you as his second in charge.”
Shock dries my throat. Oh, fuck!
“Perhaps he grew sick of your shit and left,” Kade replies. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”
“I should be mad at you, but you know what?” He steps forward. “I’m kind of impressed. I didn’t think you had it in you. Then again, it wouldn’t be the first time you murdered someone in cold blood.”
“I didn’t touch Father, he’s probably harassing someone somewhere, and as for Nine, she’s accompanying me on a walk, Vince. That’s all.”
Vince raises his eyebrows in mock realisation. “Oh my god, really? I’m so sorry for interrupting.” His face falls into an offended scowl. “Do you think I’m that stupid? First of all, who goes on a walk with a gun? And second of all, if your walk is so innocent why is your gun drawn and she’s crying? She tried to escape, didn’t she?”
There’s no pulling the wool over Vince’s eyes. He’s crazy, but he’s not stupid.
“No, she didn’t.”
The trees rustle around us and not a second later, three moderators appear in the clearing. Immediately, Kade tucks his gun into the back of his pants, out of sight.
“Another one?”
“Yes,” Vince answers before Kade has the chance. “Take her to the sitting room.”
With a growl, Kade steps directly in front of me and places a hand on his gun. I don’t try to defend myself. Why bother? I speak when I’m not spoken to and I’m dead. If I declare my love for Kade, I’m dead. If he tries to fight this, we’re both dead. Either way, this isn’t going to end well. Or maybe it is… maybe in the next life I’ll see Thirteen and we’ll live a good, long, healthy life.
“Do me a favour, Kaden. Lash out. I’m sure I’ll do a better job leading this house anyway.”
Sneaky little butthole. He probably planned this whole thing.
“Nobody’s lashing out,” Kade said. “I’ll take her to the sitting room.” He looks at me over his shoulder. “Get up.”
I stare at him for a little while. I contemplate doing what he says, but I know if I go with him I’m going to be beaten and whipped long before I’m shot, but if I provoke him… maybe he’ll just end it.
“Unfortunately,” I say, forcing a smile. “That’s in the opposite direction to where I’m headed, so no, I won’t get up, and no, I won’t go with you.”
I hear the heavy boots of the moderators start forward, but Kade flashes them the palm of his hand. Shadows rest in the hollows of his face and my heart swells. “What did you say?”
“I said no, Fortunate. Going with you won’t help me. Not in the slightest.”
When did I become so do or die? When did I become so reckless and uncaring?
He draws his gun and I find it pointed in my direction once again. I give
him a slight nod of the head. Why won’t he just let himself love me? If he told me he loved me, I’d go along with his story. I’d fight Vince and all three of these moderators—I’d do as I’m told. I want to be loved! I deserve to be loved!
“Grab her,” Kade orders and the three moderators advance on me.
I don’t say a word as they dig their thick, hard fingers into my muscles and haul me into their arms, I just watch him, absorbing all of the disappointment and sadness painted on his features. I know for a fact now that he’d choose power and control over companionship and love—just like he said he would. And yet, even with the warnings, I still fell in love with him.
∞
The sitting room is exactly the same as it was when I left it this morning—minus Thirteen’s dead body. I kneel on the floor, keeping my eyes cast down. The only other person in this room is Kade and he leans against the opposite wall, staring at me. In four minutes, the meeting will start and I’m a goner.
“I could have got you out of this mess if you’d just gone along with me,” he hisses. I look at him as he rakes his fingers through his hair. “I thought love gives people hope… if you love me, you’re not supposed to want to leave me.”
I scoff. “Love only gives hope if it’s returned. A love not returned works like poison.” I shake my head. “I left to protect us. How long before someone notices that we’re different? That we do things differently?”
“They wouldn’t, not in the city.”
How would he know? He’s never been inside the city! What if they want to give him a new Unfortunate? What if they aren’t happy with me and want me dead?
I open my mouth to voice my thoughts, but the second my lips part, the door opens and in file the Fortunates—all of them.
“Can’t say I didn’t see this coming,” Rita states with a small chuckle.
They take their seats and immediately the discussion begins. Most of it, I can’t hear. Along with my throbbing head and ringing ears, I just don’t care anymore. Kathryn believes Kade’s walk story, the rest don’t. If they ask me, I’m not even sure what I’ll say.
“The first time I encountered Kade and Nine they were coming back from the lake. The lake is a favourite spot of Master Kade, so it makes perfect sense,” Kathryn says.
Kade agrees, but Vince dives in with the details—the gun, the crying, my disrespectful behaviour. Beyond that, there is no redemption for me. Vince rises to his feet and I cast my eyes down. Then, I hear the unmistakable sound of a gun clicking.
“Vince!” Kade shouts. “You’re misreading the situation.”
“I don’t think I am,” Vince counters. “You’re always defending them, Kade! Just like our mother, and where is she now? How many times have you been caught helping Unfortunates?”
“That’s unnecces—”
“How many?” Vince demands, the tip of the gun digging into my head.
“I was a small boy. I didn’t understand.”
“But you do now? You understand? You understand why we have to end this before it spreads like disease? Her curiosity, her quick tongue, and self-righteousness—it doesn’t fit in this world.”
Kade scoffs. “I’m willing to bet your life that I slit your throat before your finger presses that trigger.”
“A bet? How daring. I’m in.”
Kade starts forward, but a shrill shriek from Kathryn stops him.
“You can’t kill her!” she shouts and I snap my head up. Tears are pouring down her cheeks. She’s the perfect picture of panic, so anxious I’m certain she’s about to fall apart. There she goes defending me again. Why?
“And why not?” Vince digs the gun into my temple, making me wince.
“Sh-she was born a Fortunate.”
The room falls silent as all eyes fall onto me. Me? A Fortunate? Impossible.
“Bullshit,” Vince booms. “That’s not possible.”
“It is. She’s my…” Kathryn hiccups and swallows hard. “My daughter… she’s my daughter.” She steps closer with her arms outstretched in a calming gesture and all I can do is stare at her, wide-eyed and frightful. “I was very young when I fell pregnant and I wasn’t ready, so I paid one of my moderators to take her to the Unfortunate camp up on the hill. I can prove it. I have proof I gave birth to her and that she was admitted to the camp under false circumstances. I can even do a blood test if you don’t believe me.”
Nausea rolls in my stomach and threatens to push up my throat. Holy shit. I’m a Milano?
“What you’re admitting to is illegal,” Kade says, refusing to take his eyes off me.
“I know,” she sobs, her face wet and pink. “But if it saves her life, I don’t care what happens to me.”
“I don’t believe a single word you’re saying,” Vince growls, shoving me with his gun. “This bitch is going to die, end of story.”
Kade steps forward, his shoulders squared. “Her confession warrants an investigation, Vincent. If there’s a chance Nine’s a Fortunate, we have to look into it. It’s the law.”
Once again, silence falls. My heart is beating so loudly I can feel it behind my eyelids. This can’t be true… it doesn’t make sense.
“He’s right,” Will states. “We look after our own.”
One second I’m a heartbeat away from death and the next, I’ve been reborn. The gun is lifted from my head and thrown across the room with such force it cracks the wall.
“I swear to god, if you’re lying to me, Kathryn, I’m going to destroy your entire family.”
“You and what army?” Kathryn shoots back. “Your house deals in diamonds and rubies. Mine deals in weaponry. Be careful who you’re threatening.”
I smirk at Vince and his dark, espresso eyes zero in on me, but they have no effect. My organs are dancing over the small victory. Screw you. Asshole.
“She has to be locked up until the blood tests come back.”
“My room will do just fine,” Kade states, folding his arms. His statement wasn’t a question, but a command. But I don’t want that. He said he can’t love me and that means Fortunate or Unfortunate, he won’t let himself feel love. Besides, how can I let myself be with someone who didn’t want me when I had nothing?
“No,” Albert rebuts. “She needs to be locked up in the cells. No chance for escape.”
I slump into myself as the party appears to be breaking up. One by one, they filter from the room and soon the only three remaining are Kade, Kathryn, and John. I’m still in shock, and thankfully, none of them try to touch me. I’m not sure I can stomach it… because of her selfishness I was forced to live this life. I lived every day of my life without love, without parents. I grew up believing my only responsibility in life was to keep Fortunates happy. I didn’t have play time. I didn’t get breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I was only allowed to shower once a week. It was hell and it was all for nothing.
“The blood test will take a few days, but when you come out… we’ll be here waiting for you.”
I nod, unable to formulate my thoughts and feelings into words. After a few small eternities, they head for the door.
“Did I have a name?” I ask finally, and she stops in her tracks.
I don’t look at her.
“Anna,” she tells me. “For the brief few minutes I held you, I called you Anna.”
∞ Kade ∞
“Anna’s a pretty name,” he muttered, crouching to her level.
“But it’s not the name I grew up with,” she replied, her pretty violet eyes locking with his.
She was mad and confused and sad, but Kade didn’t feel the same. He thought he was going to lose her—he almost did—but now, now she was alive and better than ever. Once this is over, she’s free. Actually free. He knew there was something different about her from the moment he saw her, from the moment she fought him. He knew she was wired differently, that she was too curious, too controlling, and too sarcastic to be an Unfortunate. This was fate. That he truly believed. When Portia told him she saw Nine
running across the field, his heart swelled into his ribcage and cracked in two. He’d never felt so betrayed in his entire life and the look on her face when he caught her, the look of total defeat… it wasn’t something he ever wanted to see again. He was going to heal her and it had nothing to do with the fact she could possibly be a Fortunate. Fortunate or Unfortunate, Nine wasn’t going to die. He was going to save her, protect her and respect her. It took him a long time to come around to the fact that she meant everything to him. He was seconds away from murdering his brother and everyone else in the room. For Her.
Nine wanted Kade to love her and he did—holy shit he did—but he didn’t admit it because he knew nothing good would come of it. Her death would be the only thing to ever transpire from the love Kade gave her. He knew he loved her. He felt it in the way his stomach fluttered whenever she was around and the way his heart ached when she wasn’t. Kade thought it was all connected to the way she made him feel when they were intimate, and in the beginning it was, but somewhere along the line she wrapped herself around his heart, attaching herself to all of his organs while she was at it. To cut her out would mean death. It would kill him. You can’t survive without your heart…
…and that was exactly what Nine had become to him.
