by Niyah Moore
“That shit is going to happen. All we can do is answer the way we did. I’m proud of you, baby. Thank you for being strong right now. I know it’s tough, with your dad passing last night and everything.”
He embraced me and placed the deepest kiss on my lips.
“It’s hard, but like you said, the show must go on, you know,” I said when we broke our embrace.
“That’s right. We got this, right?”
“Yeah,” I replied.
Out the corner of my eye, I could see Egypt pretending that she wasn’t staring at us with envy.
19
LUXURY
Downhill
Two weeks later ...
Lights were flashing, bottles were popping, and Desire’s music was blaring throughout the club, where the hottest celebrities and other important people had turned up for Desire’s album-release party. The crowd was going crazy.
“Wassup wit y’all, Miami?” the DJ yelled over the mic. “Y’all deep in this bitch tonight. DJ Triton in the building. The moment y’all been waiting fa is here. Give it up for Desire.”
Desire grabbed the mic and said, “I want to thank everyone for coming out to show me love. I’ve worked hard on this album. Thanks to my niggas, the Monnahan Boyz, for treating me like a li’l sis. Those are my brothers for life. To my baby, Luxury, for being my boo and making this rap shit happen for me. This has been a crazy year, but I’m pushing strong.” She paused, and the crowd howled and clapped. “I hope y’all enjoy the album.”
I nodded my head at her. I had yet to tell her the paternity news, but I figured that shit could wait until the right time. I had made sure to make the child-support situation cool with the baby mama, Charity.
I took down another gulp of the thick purple liquid that Lavish had poured into my cup. I wasn’t big on Lean, but this shit had me feeling right. I dizzily checked my phone and saw that Charity had thanked me for the money. I didn’t respond.
“Luxury, baby, you might want to slow down on that shit,” Desire whispered in my ear, trying to take the red cup out of my hand.
“I’m cool. Stop.” I pulled the cup away, stumbling back.
“You’re high as fuck. Maybe we should go home.” She grabbed my wrist and pulled to try to get me to sit down.
“Hold up, baby. Tonight’s your night. This is your album-release party. I ain’t going nowhere. All these people are here for you.”
The club was packed now, and the loud trap music was blaring through the speakers. The song that was playing sounded too damn good.
Desire gave me the cutest little worried look. I pulled her into my arms and whispered in her ear, “You know I love the fuck out of you, right?”
“I know that. I love you too.”
My baby meant the world to me. A second later, my phone was buzzing, and so was hers. She pulled out her phone and stared at her Twitter. I looked at mine. I kept seeing all these tweets about my baby mama and how I had a baby I wasn’t claiming. Fuck. I looked up and gazed at Desire’s face, hoping her phone wasn’t going off for the same reason.
“What the fuck! What is this, Luxury?” she shouted.
“Baby, I can explain.”
“You know about this? Did you take a paternity test?”
I nodded. “I got the results two weeks ago.”
“Two weeks ago? Oh, wow.” She stormed out of the VIP area.
Frill scowled at me. “What’s up with Desire?”
I didn’t respond as I tried my best to follow her. I was so fucked up, I could hardly steady my steps. I felt someone grab my arm. I turned and saw that it was Egypt. She had her phone in her hand.
“Do you know what this is going to do to her album sales?” she yelled over the music. “Controversy sells more records, Luxury, but you gotta make it right with her.”
I snatched my arm away from her. I could fix this shit. It wasn’t like I was in a relationship with Charity.
I saw Desire leave the club, but by the time I got outside, I didn’t see her anywhere. With her father’s funeral only a few days behind us, I didn’t know if this would be her breaking point. I prayed it wouldn’t be. I staggered back into the club and sent her an “I’m sorry” text and waited for her reply.
20
DESIRE
Fresh Air
Album-release party or not, I got the fuck up outta there. I was gonna go the fuck off if I didn’t get out of that stuffy-ass club. I hopped in my car, with tears flowing. This nigga had lied. What else had he lied about? If he had lied about a baby, what else was he hiding? I was too fragile to deal with this. My papi’s body hadn’t been in the ground a whole week, and now I had to deal with this shit? If I couldn’t trust Luxury, who could I trust? I was so angry. I felt this tightness in my chest, like I couldn’t breathe.
I had nowhere to go except home, and I didn’t want to go there. If only Mina were still alive, I would go to her house. I just needed somewhere to go to cool off. I didn’t want to hear anything from Luxury until I was calm enough to ask him about his secrets.
Nasim came to mind because I just needed to get away, and he was the only person I could call. I called him, and to my surprise, he picked up.
“Yo, you finally decided to hit me up?” he said, with his New York accent on thick.
“I know, right? What you doing right now?”
“Well, I’m about to go somewhere to drop something off. What up with you? Don’t you have an album-release party tonight?”
“Yeah, but I just found out some crazy shit, and I need to get away. Mind if I roll with you?”
“I don’t mind, but you sure?”
“If you ask me again, I might say no, so don’t make me change my mind.”
“Come on. I’ll shoot the address.”
I ended the call. He sent me his address, and I drove over there.
* * *
From the outside, Nasim’s house looked so small, but inside, it was a lovely three-bedroom and was beautifully decorated for a bachelor pad. He didn’t have much furniture, but what he had was so nice. I really needed to get away from Luxury’s drama, and this was a breath of fresh air.
My phone was going crazy, so I put it on silent. I didn’t want to read another tweet or blog related to Luxury.
He gave me a hug as he held a duffel bag in his right hand. “You’ve been crying?”
“A little. Just going through some shit right now. I don’t want to talk about it, either, so don’t fuckin’ ask.”
“A’ight. You don’t have to. Let’s go.”
I followed him outside to his car. He opened the front passenger door for me, and once I was in, he closed it. He put the duffel bag on the backseat before getting in the driver’s seat. We rode in silence for a little while. He seemed to be lost in thought about something, and I couldn’t stop thinking about Luxury having a baby. Was I supposed to be this baby’s stepmother? I didn’t know shit about that life.
“You straight?” he asked.
“I’ll be fine.”
He pulled up to this high-rise building downtown and said, “You can come inside with me.”
I got out of the car and followed him after he grabbed the duffel. I was starting to regret my decision to roll with him, because I had no idea what kind of business he had to handle. We walked in the building, headed down a hallway, and entered a large office with an open floor plan. Nasim pointed at a lounge chair and invited me to sit. The space was full of professional black people dressed in business attire. This event looked much like a business mixer or something. Nasim walked to the back, and I saw that he was talking to someone. I looked around and noticed that everybody was staring at me.
A tall woman approached. “Aren’t you the rapper Desire?” she asked.
“Yeah, that’s me.”
Like a reporter, she walked even closer to me. “Is it true that Luxury got some girl pregnant? I read it on the Shade Room website.”
I stood up and rolled my neck. Just then Nasim walked
over. I was sure he had heard the woman’s comment.
“I’m done. Let’s go,” he said. He left the office, and as we walked out of the building, he wrapped an arm around me.
“I’m so glad you appeared at that moment, because I was about to cuss that ho out,” I told him.
“So, I guess it’s true about him having a baby on you, huh?”
“No, he didn’t have the baby on me. She was already pregnant when we got together. He didn’t know it was his until this paternity test.”
“Is that why you called me?”
We got into his car, and he pulled away from the curb.
I sighed. “No. Well . . .”
He chuckled. “It’s mad cool. I’m not tripping. I just want to make sure you a’ight.”
“I’ll be fine.”
I was quiet for the rest of the ride back to his house. This whole ordeal with Luxury and his baby mama was something that wasn’t going to go away. I was just so hurt that he hadn’t just told me and kept it real with me. Nasim parked his car and turned it off. Before getting out, he looked over at me.
“You’ve been too quiet. You sure you straight?”
“Look, Nasim, I said I don’t want to talk about the shit. What don’t you get, nigga?”
He put his hands up. “Whoa. Damn. I won’t ask anymore, with yo’ spicy ass. You coming inside or what?”
Before I could reply, some woman walked up to the car and knocked on his window, looking like she was ready to get high. Her hair was in a messy ponytail. She had on short-ass shorts and a red shirt with holes in it. He glanced at her through the window and stepped out of the car. I decided to stay in the car, because I wasn’t trying to be recognized.
“Hey,” she said dryly, forcing a smile to the edge of her cracked lips.
“What’s really good with you?” he muttered.
“I need some money,” I heard her mumble.
I tried to mind my business, but it was hard to block them out.
“I just gave you money yesterday. You remember how much that was?”
“About six hundred, but I need five more. Then I’ll be set for the week.”
“The week?” he blurted out. “The fuck you think I am? An ATM?”
“Nah. I just need some help with my rent for the kids.” She sucked her teeth, sounding like a fiend.
“You got about six muthafuckas running in and out of ya crib. None of them niggas can’t help you? Yo, you already owe me, and I’m waiting for you to pay me back, but I know you ain’t got it.”
“Why you so concerned about who comin’ in and out of my house?”
I watched Nasim reach into his pocket, pull out some bills, and hand her the money. Then she went on her way and disappeared around the corner.
I got out of the car and said, “No offense, but why’d you give that bitch all that money when you just gave her some the other day?”
“She needs it. She got five babies. I guess you can say I got a soft spot when it comes to kids.”
“I’m not trying to be all up in your business, but she looks like she’s on drugs. She’s probably about to go get high right now.”
“Nah, she’s not on drugs.”
“Let me guess. One of those kids is yours? Or do you not pay attention?”
“She’s my sister. The only reason I’m out here is to look after her and my nieces and nephews.”
“Oh,” I said, feeling silly. This was their family business, so I was going to stay out of it.
“You still coming in?” he asked.
I thought about it. I needed to go home, and whenever Luxury arrived, I would deal with him. I couldn’t wait to get home, take a shower, collapse in my bed, and run my legs along my silk sheets before going to sleep.
“Nah, I’m gonna get home. Thanks for letting me ride with you.”
“No problem. anytime. Be careful on your way home. Hit me to let me know you made it safe.”
He walked over to me and gave me a big, soft hug. It felt like I melted in his arms. I backed away and walked to my car.
By the time I made it home, Luxury wasn’t there. I looked at my phone and noticed I had one text from Luxury, saying he was sorry. I also had another from Egypt, saying that if I needed someone to talk to, she was available. Her text seemed genuine. I didn’t know why I had pushed her away so much. She was close to Luxury, but she didn’t treat me funny. Whether it was business or personal, her checking on me was nice of her.
I called her.
Egypt picked up after a few rings. “Hey. Are you okay? You missed the cake we got for you.”
I took a deep breath and exhaled. “I’m sorry. I guess I gotta be okay with this. It’s not like we’ve been together that long. I just hoped he would tell me the truth . . . I asked him about this a few weeks ago, when the makeup artist at the album photo shoot brought it up. He brushed it off like it was nothing.”
“Look, Luxury loves you. That chick doesn’t mean nothing, but he gotta support that baby, whether he likes it or not. I understand you’re mad, but if you love him, you’ll ride this out.”
“I am riding it out. You’re acting like I said I was leaving him. I just needed some air.”
“Okay, good. PR will call you in the morning to make sure things will be smoothed out with the press. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“I’m driving him home, since he’s too intoxicated to drive himself, and I’ll be pulling up soon.”
“Thank you, Egypt.”
“Don’t worry about it. Have a good night.”
I ended the call and headed upstairs to take my shower. I allowed the hot water to cascade down on me. I knew that I loved Luxury so much and that we could get through this. He needed my support right now, and I was going to support him.
I stepped out of the shower and turned around to see Luxury standing in the bathroom doorway, looking fine as hell in Versace pajama pants but with no shirt on. I dried off and wrapped the towel around myself, waiting to see what he had to say.
He pulled me to him and attached his lips to mine instantly. Between kisses, he said, “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean for any of this to hurt you.”
“I know. You want to tell me about her.”
He took a deep breath. “For starters, my baby mama’s name is Charity. We’ve never been in a relationship. We fucked around, and she got pregnant. I didn’t think the baby was mine, because I had another bitch lie about this shit before. I got the DNA results when we were at the radio station. I tried to find a way to say it, but it was like it still wasn’t real to me. I started giving her money as soon as I found out, so I didn’t think she would go to the blogs and Twitter and shit.”
“It’s okay. Thank you for telling me all of that.”
“I know you just left the club a few hours ago, but I missed you. A few hours without you is a long time, Mama.” He kissed my neck as his hands rested on my ass. “I want you to marry me. Will you marry me?”
“That depends.”
He dropped his hands and licked his lips. “Depends on what? I’m not fuckin’ with nobody else, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“If you want to get married, Luxury, you’ll have to stop being so secretive about everything. I need transparency.”
“I told you I didn’t know if the baby was mine or not, and that was the truth.”
He was missing my point. I wasn’t in the mood to explain what I meant. “Look, it doesn’t matter.”
“Fuck you mean, it doesn’t matter? Of course shit like this matters. I want you to be able to trust me, which means you gotta give me the benefit of the doubt. I don’t like arguing with my woman, all right?”
“That’s cool and all, but you got me out here looking stupid. I don’t wanna be out here looking stupid.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against his. “You really want to marry me? I’m saying, like, Seriously, is that what you want?”
“Yeah, I want to be your husband.”
“Of course I do.” His hands moved to rest on my ass again. “Will you marry me or not?”
We hadn’t been together for even three months, and we were ready to get married. I wanted more than anything to be his wife. This was the second time he had brought up marriage, so he wasn’t playing with me, and I didn’t want to imagine my life without him.
“Yes, I’ll marry you,” I said, and then I gave him the deepest tongue kiss. We both moaned together.
Pulling away, he said, “Put your clothes on. Let’s go.”
“Let’s go where? It’s almost one o’clock in the morning.”
“We going to Vegas.”
“You want to get married right now?”
“Right now.”
That was how it was with Luxury. He was always a “right here, right now” kind of nigga. Though we had had some bumps along our trail, I was still down for the ride.
21
LUXURY
Marry Me
We took a five-hour flight to Vegas in a private jet. We got some sleep on the way and landed at 6:00 a.m. I put a nice six-carat, teardrop-shaped diamond ring on her finger, which she loved, as we got eloped in a wedding chapel on the Strip. Straight after that, we had to wait until the courthouse opened so that we could get our marriage certificate. As soon as we checked into the biggest suite at Paris Las Vegas Hotel, we made love. We slept for a few hours. I woke up before her at around one o’clock in the afternoon and called Mama, Lavish, Frill, Egypt, Nia, and Lala and told them that I had married Desire.
The only person who said something negative was Egypt, which didn’t surprise me, because she had always been protective when it came to me.
“I married Desire,” I told her.
“Why?” she asked.
“What you mean, why, E?”
“I know you say you love her, but why the rush?”
“Why not? You either for me or against me, and if my own mama didn’t have shit to say against us getting married, why do you?”
