by Niyah Moore
“This is the only change I have.”
“This good,” she said and quickly walked down the driveway and then down the street.
I walked down the driveway and got back in my car. I sat there for about ten minutes, hoping I would see him. I wondered if he had got rid of the Range since I didn’t want it. I started up my car and headed home.
39
LUXURY
A Man of My Word
For two weeks, I stayed in a hotel, and I didn’t go anywhere other than to AA meetings in the evenings. I stopped sipping Lean, and I quit taking Ecstasy. Once I ran out of tree, I didn’t go get none. So, surprisingly, I hadn’t smoked a blunt in a few days. I needed my mind to be clear. My nights were filled with delivered meals and XXXVideos.com. I guessed my brothers got tired of me not answering their calls, because they showed up at my hotel room one day.
“Damn, nigga. I know you tryin’ to get ya shit together, but you ain’t gotta ignore us,” Frill said as they walked in.
“I know. Just been trying to get my mind right.”
They hugged me before we sat on the couches.
“How you really doin’, though?” Lavish asked.
“I’m just taking it one day at a time. Desire had those charges dropped.”
They nodded.
“What about this nigga she been fuckin’ with? We know him?” Frill questioned.
I shook my head. “Some New York nigga. Charity told me he works for Bo.”
“He works for Fat Man?” Lavish scowled. “Desire know that?”
I shook my head. “Nah, I don’t think she does. She doesn’t even know Fat Man is behind Mina’s murder, remember?”
Lavish frowned. “That’s right. Damn.”
“Listen, though, so I did some calling around and I found out that this nigga pulled the fuckin’ trigger. He killed Mina,” I revealed.
“Nah, don’t say that,” Lavish said.
I threw up my hands. “I’m sayin’ Desire was fuckin’ with the nigga that killed her best friend, and she don’t even know it.”
“Fuck. That shit is crazy,” Frill commented. “You plan on rollin’ up on the nigga or what? You know we ride.”
“I feel like I got to, but Desire says she’s not fuckin’ with him anymore. She’s pregnant, though, so I’m, like, lightweight trippin’ on that.”
“She keepin’ it?” Lavish asked.
I nodded. “That’s what she says.”
“So, what if it’s that nigga’s baby? Then what?” Frill questioned.
“I really don’t know. I need to talk to her, see where her head is. For now, I’m gonna get shit right with her and take it from there.”
They both nodded.
I had every intention of finding out where this nigga lived, so I could holler at him. I needed to know how he and Desire had met and if he had been sent by Fat Man Bo to fuck with her. If that was the case, we would have more of a problem than I initially thought.
* * *
Desire was watching Martin reruns when I came through the garage. I had missed her, and I hadn’t liked being away from home and away from her one bit.
“Hi,” she said as she stood up.
I went over to her, and she opened her arms for a hug. We embraced, and I didn’t want to let go. I squeezed her.
“Baby, I missed you so much,” I said.
“I missed you too. Watch TV with me.”
I sat on the couch with her, and she flipped through the channels.
“What you want to watch?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I’m trying to see what’s on. I’ve seen all these Martin episodes a million times. How you been?”
“I’ve been better, but I started going to counseling and stuff,” I told her.
“That’s good.”
“Next week, I have anger management.”
She looked at me. “I’m proud of you.” She turned off the TV. “I think we should talk about my affair.”
I didn’t want to talk about the affair. I wanted to find out if she knew who he really was.
“Uh, I don’t care about your affair, and I don’t know the details. A nigga was just ready to start all over.”
“Luxury, he could be the father of the baby.”
I swatted the air, as if a fly was hovering in front of my face. “Man, fuck all that. I don’t give a fuck. It doesn’t matter who the father is. Regardless, I’m going to be that child’s father. What I want to know is, How did you meet him?”
“The day I went to the bank and opened my account, he was there, handling a transaction. That same day, after the shoot, you went to bail Frill out of jail, I saw him at the soul-food joint I like. We exchanged numbers because I was in my feelings about you and the baby mama rumors.”
“So, was it your idea to bring him to Spain or his?”
“He was in Paris for my show, and that shocked me. We linked up. When I found out about you not coming, he offered to keep me company. I offered to pay because it was a long way for him to come just to keep me company since you weren’t there.”
I shook my head and took a deep breath. “Do you know what he does for a living?”
“I don’t really know. I think he sells dope, but I’m not sure. I gave the car back to him, and I’m done. I’m not seeing him anymore.”
“Good. Look, I’m glad you gave him the Range back. When I say we’re starting over, that’s what the fuck I mean. We’re selling this house, and I’m getting you that penthouse overlooking South Beach.”
“That’s cool with me,” she said. “What if he wants to be involved with the baby? Do you want to get a paternity test?”
“Nope. I told you, it doesn’t matter. I will raise this baby, along with my son. Is that cool with you, or do you feel like the nigga needs to be involved?”
“I just feel like we should know.”
“If you feel it’s that important, then have him take the test, and you let me know the results,” I told her.
I was serious about not wanting to know. I loved Desire, and I was going to love the baby. I could care less about the next nigga, who was just a fling because I couldn’t be there for her.
She looked worried, but she didn’t need to be.
“Look at me.” I turned her face to me. “I made an appointment with a good Realtor. We can go look at a few penthouses and condos today. I’m gonna get you another Range Rover.”
“You don’t have to try to buy me, Luxury.”
“How can I buy something that already belongs to me? You’re my wife. These are the things you’ve always dreamt of. I’m just making sure you have it all.”
Running her hand down my cheek, she stared into my eyes. “I love you, and I’m sorry for betraying you like that.”
“Don’t worry about it. In life we all make mistakes. The love I have for you outweighs any problems we ever have. When I said, ‘Till death do us part,’ I meant that shit.” I looked at my watch. “Let’s get ready to meet the Realtor. I’m sure you’ll love what he has to show us.”
“Oh, we’re doing this right now?”
“Right now.”
She smiled. “Of course right now. That’s how my baby rolls.”
“You know it.”
* * *
The very first condo we were shown had the best location in South Beach, and it was on the oceanfront. It was a beautifully updated penthouse, fully furnished, with a mind-blowing view of the ocean. It was within walking distance to shops, restaurants, and theaters, and it had twenty-four-hour security, a valet parking service, concierge service, a fitness center, and a heated pool. Desire was in love at first sight.
“How much?” I asked as we walked through the penthouse.
“One point seven five million,” said the Realtor.
I nodded. “Not bad, but I was thinking more like one point five. Any other bidders?”
“Not yet. It just went on the market this morning.”
“What you think, baby? You like it?”
I asked.
Desire smiled. “I love it. This is exactly what I dreamed of, only better in real life.”
“We’ll take it. We don’t need any bank loans, because we’re buying it straight out. One point five is our offer.”
I shook the young Caucasian man’s hand, and he nodded. “You ready to make an offer?”
“You take a check?”
“Yes, absolutely, but first I have to see if the owner will accept your offer. Then, I’ll be in touch with you.”
“Thank you . . . Also, we’re putting our current house on the market. Can we use your services to sell it?” I said.
“Absolutely. Give me a call later, when I get back in the office, and we’ll discuss your asking price and get someone out to appraise your home.”
I shook his hand again. “Thank you.”
“I’ll talk with the owner, and the penthouse should be all yours.”
“Good. We look forward to hearing the good news,” I told him.
Desire was glued to the view overlooking South Beach. She was in heaven. I took a picture of her in my mind. I wanted to remember that expression for the rest of my life. She walked backward from the window with a huge smile on her face. If everything worked out, this place would be all hers.
40
DESIRE
Never Be the Same
The owner took our offer. It took a little over a month, and after much paperwork, we moved into the penthouse. I bought my own Range Rover with customized red stitching in the headrests. I wanted to do something nice for myself, and I didn’t need Luxury to buy everything for me.
As much as he wanted me to forget about the baby’s DNA, I couldn’t help but think about it. I was starting to feel flutters in my tummy from the little movements of the fetus. I was still trying to find Nasim. He hadn’t returned any of my calls.
Spending time with Luxury was a beautiful thing. It honestly felt as if we had hit the reset button. The changes in him were what he’d needed to make himself a better person. He hadn’t pressured me to get back in the studio, and I had noticed he hadn’t made any mention of Egypt or his brothers. I hadn’t heard from Egypt, Nia, or Lala, which I thought was strange.
“Babe, you taking a break from the label?” I asked him one afternoon. “When’s the last time you went over there?”
“I haven’t been there since we got into it. I needed a break from it all, but I have to be down there in, like, twenty minutes.”
“Will Egypt be there? I was wondering if she could tell me what’s up for me next. Am I recording my next album? I want to get things going before I start showing.”
He took a few seconds to answer. “Egypt won’t be assisting you anymore. She’s moving on to a new career.”
“Really? Was this sudden?”
“Yeah, she sprang it on me when she picked me up from jail.”
“She bailed you out?”
He nodded. “Yeah. She feels like she’s outgrown the company. She’s on to bigger and better things.”
“I see. That’s understandable. I wish her the best.”
“Me too. You going to be okay while I’m gone? You need anything before I leave?”
“No. With us being so close to everything, I’m cool.”
He kissed me on the lips. “I’ll probably be gone for a few hours.”
“Okay. You want me to cook dinner?”
“No. Let’s go somewhere. You pick the spot.”
“Okay,” I replied.
He walked out of the penthouse, and I sat down on the couch, turned on the TV, and kicked my feet up. As I was scrolling through the channels, I stopped on a news program to watch a story about a young kid who had been killed in a hit-and-run.
“So sad,” I said, shaking my head.
His mother was crying, talking about how he was a straight-A student and everyone at his high school loved him.
As I walked to the kitchen to get a cup of ice water, I heard the reporter say, “A man has been reported missing. Nasim Rhodes was last seen in the late afternoon of October thirteenth at his home in Miami, Florida. The Dade County Sheriff’s Office is investigating his disappearance. There has been a break in this case. Nasim Rhodes’s car was found parked in a parking lot at Fort Lauderdale – Hollywood International Airport this morning. His sister is desperate for answers. If you have any information surrounding Nasim’s disappearance, please call the Dade County Sheriff’s Office.”
I took a glass from the kitchen cabinet, trying to process this information. As soon as I turned my head to look at the TV, a picture of Nasim popped up on the screen. I dropped the glass in my hand, and it shattered on the kitchen floor. No wonder he hadn’t shown up for the appointment or returned any of my calls. I prayed that he was okay and that nothing bad had happened to him. My heart was racing, and I felt faint. There was a fluttering in my stomach, but I couldn’t tell if it was nerves or my baby moving.
I sat on the couch and pulled my knees up to my chest. I wrapped my arms around my knees, trying to curl myself up into a ball. I felt like I needed to protect myself from the world, because it seemed as if everyone I adored or had allowed myself to get close to wound up dead.
What if Nasim is dead? Lord, please, no.
I prayed Nasim wasn’t dead. What if something happened to Luxury next? I just wouldn’t be able to deal with it. These sad memories of Mina and my papi were swirling around in my head. Tears had welled up in my eyes, and I shut them. Tears managed to escape. I allowed my head to fall on my knees, and I pulled my legs closer to me.
Nasim. Nasim. Nasim.
I prayed, “Please, Lord, let him be all right.”
* * *
I must’ve fallen asleep, because I woke up when I heard Luxury come in the door. He came and sat next to me on the couch.
“Sorry if I woke you up, baby.”
“It’s okay. I hadn’t realized I fell asleep. I was tired from moving and everything.”
He nodded. “You’ve been crying?”
“A little bit earlier. Just missing Mina and Papi,” I said, playing it off. “How was everything at the office?”
“I know how that is.” He paused before answering my question. “Well, we’re working on a date for you to start working on your new album.”
“That sounds good.”
“Yeah. Everyone is ready to go. It’s your time. If we play everything right, your pregnancy won’t be a factor one bit.”
“I am a little nervous about being a mommy, though.”
“That’s to be expected. You eat anything for dinner?”
“No. I was watching the news and fell asleep.”
“You feeling up to going out for dinner?” he asked.
“I’m not in the mood, to be honest.”
“I can order something,” he said.
I got up from the couch and said, “Yeah, just get whatever. I’m going to lie in the bed. I don’t really feel good. I think I’m having morning sickness. Even though I don’t know why they call it morning sickness. I’m starting to feel sick in the middle of the day. I don’t even know if I can take any medication without harming the little seed.”
“You call the doctor?”
“Not yet, but I will first thing in the morning.”
“A’ight, babe. Go lie down. You need some water or anything?”
“You can bring me some ice water.”
He stood up and walked into the kitchen. As I walked to the bedroom, I heard him call, “Desire, baby, you dropped a glass?”
I had completely forgotten about that.
“Oh, yeah.”
I heard his footsteps coming down the hall. I got into the bed and pulled the covers up to my neck.
“What happened?” he asked as he stood in the bedroom doorway.
“I was feeling faint and dropped it. I meant to clean it up, but I fell asleep.”
“Okay. I’ll get it cleaned up for you.”
As he stared at me oddly, I wanted to blurt out that I wa
s distraught because Nasim was missing, but I didn’t want to make him feel any kind of way about it. Luxury had already made it clear that we were starting over, that it didn’t matter if Nasim was the baby’s father, and that he didn’t give two shits about Nasim.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked.
“I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me. It’s the same look you had on your face when I popped up on you in Barcelona. What’s going on?”
“I saw . . . on the news . . .” I paused. “Nasim is missing. They found his car at the airport, but nothing else.”
He looked unaffected by what I’d said. As he turned and walked back down the hall to the kitchen, a chill swept over my body. I sat straight up as I got to thinking.
Did Luxury do something to Nasim?
41
LUXURY
Ending What Never Should’ve Started
As I cleaned up the broken glass on the kitchen floor, I thought about when I had finally met Nasim face-to-face. I hadn’t known this nigga would end up on the news. Now this shit looked funny. What was he doing? Trying to set my ass up or something?
Back when I’d checked out of the hotel, before I’d gone home and found Desire watching Martin on TV, Frill and Lavish had rolled with me to Fat Man Bo’s pool hall. There’d been no way I was going back home without figuring out what the deal was with this Nas nigga. To my surprise, Fat Man had been alone at the pool hall. It hadn’t opened for business yet, but the door had been wide open. He’d been at the bar, counting the drawer.
“Luxury, Lavish, Frill,” he’d announced. “We closed right now.”
“We can see that,” I said. “I got a few questions.”
His fat ass shook his head. “Don’t come here asking me about Mina.”
“Nah. I mean, it’s related, but I have an issue with ya hitta.”
Bo leaned up against the bar as we got closer. We stopped right at the front of it.
“A’ight. What about my hitta?”
“This nigga Nas you got on ya team, the nigga who pulled the fuckin’ trigger, was fucking my wife. I need to know if you sent him to fuck with her,” I said.