by Ruby Wolff
It’s not their fault. They're just as blindsided as I was, but I need someone to tell me I fucked up. Hurting Alice like this is killing me inside.
Vinny walks out of the office, not saying a word to anyone. I grab the whiskey bottle and take a swig of it.
“Dad, tell me I fucked up,” I beg. I look at them all, desperate for punishment.
“You didn’t know about Ben—none of us did. At the time… Once Alice knows the truth… Angel, right now, I don’t know what to say to you. You were made to choose between saving your sister and hurting the woman you love. There was never a way to win this one.” My dad pulls me in for a hug, and all I can do is pull him tighter.
For once, I need someone to hold me. I feel so fucking lost right now.
“We’ll make this right.” Dad cups my face, but we both know this will never be right.
Walking over to the window, I look at Alice still sitting in the same spot. Vinny stands next to Drew, and Andy is there now, too.
“Maybe if I’d stalled them, I would’ve had time to find Ellie.” I take a drag of my cigarette. “There must—”
“Angel, you saved our sister. Losing another one of us would have killed us,” Warren says. All I can do is shake my head at him. He's still just a child, one who’s never been in love. “Angel—"
“Stop, Warren. Go to Dad’s—wait for Ellie. Whoever drops her off, kill them,” I order. Nothing else is said between us. I turn to my dad as he comes to stand next to me. “Find out what happened to the guards. Why she wasn’t with Gwen, and why Gwen didn’t call us about this. Don’t tell them about Ben yet.”
I know we’re missing something. We should’ve known they’d taken Ellie. What I want to know is why I wasn’t told about her even leaving the fucking house.
“You—”
“I’m staying here until Alice wants to leave. I’m staying here,” I say more forcefully. I can’t leave her. She might not want me close to her, but I don’t care. I’m staying near her.
“And if she—”
“I don’t know, Dad. I don’t fucking know.”
I don’t know what I'll do if Alice doesn't want to leave with me. Without me close to her, she’s an easy target for the Midlands.
“I’ll call once I get some answers.” My dad pats my back then leaves.
Vinny looks up at me, and I wonder if he’s told Drew and Andy about Ellie. I know he thinks I chose my family over his. Vinny put his life on the line to help me take down the Young family. He put his life on the line to save my brother and even took bullets for my brother. When it came time to return the debt, I did nothing.
“Tell me I fucked up,” I beg Pike when he walks over to me.
“You want someone to blame, and you think you’re that person…”
“Everyone told me, if anything happened to Ben, she’d never forgive me. Even knowing that, I let them kill him,” I bite back. I don’t need someone to fucking blame because I blame myself and no one else.
“And if they killed Ellie, or sold Ellie, then what?” Pike argues. I know whatever I say will be wrong. There’s no right answer to this. “Angel, when she knows the truth, when she’s had time to grieve, she’ll understand how hard that decision was for you. No one was going to make the right one, not even the devil himself.”
I stay quiet, not wanting to talk about this anymore. We’re only going around in circles, so what’s the point?
I watch Andy kneel next to Alice, but she’s just shaking her head. Craig looks up and gives me a nod to come downstairs. Smoking the last of my cigarette, I make my way down to the floor.
“Alice, you can’t stay here all night. Stuart and the family will be here tomorrow. The Carters helped them get a flight quicker.” Andy moves the hair away from her face and lifts her chin to look at him. “Vinny will look after Ben, but you can’t just sit with him.”
“Just a little longer, please…” Each word comes out with a sob. “I told him to leave. I told him he didn’t have to stay there.”
“I know.” Andy pulls her in for a hug as she cries into his chest. “He stayed because he loved you. You found love—”
“No. Angel should’ve saved him. He doesn’t love me,” she screams at him. I step forward to tell her that I love her more than anything, and if I could swap places with Ben so she wouldn’t have to feel the pain she feels, I would. I’d do it in a fucking heartbeat.
Before I can approach her, Pike stops me. “Leave her,” he whispers, but Alice hears him.
She stands up and glares at me. I take a step closer to her, but she slaps me as soon as I’m within reach. “I hate you! I hate that you let this happen. I hate you for making me feel like this. I hate you so much. I don’t—”
“Hit me some more. Do anything you want to me, but don’t push me out. Don’t push me away,” I plead with her. I can’t have her pull away from me. I just can’t.
“I don’t want you anywhere near me, ever! I mean it! Never come near me again. You can beg the same way I begged you. What did you do? Nothing! You did nothing.” She turns her back to me and looks at Ben again.
Andy stops her from sitting back on the floor. “Come on.” He starts pulling her away, but she’s fighting him. I watch her leaving the bar; Drew following them. I turn to Vinny, to see why he’s still standing here and not following them.
“She doesn’t want to see my face, either. She hates me just as much as she hates you,” he says angrily.
I just watch him stare down at Ben’s body and I’m filled with regret.
“Craig, take him downstairs. Get Doc to clean him. You know the rest,” I say, then turn to Vinny. “Someone needs to keep an eye on her. Where’s she going?”
“Back to her apartment.” Vinny sounds broken.
“Go to her.”
“She doesn’t want me there.”
“Vinny, go there. She might not want you close to her, but you still need to be there. If the Midlands knows she’s alone, they’ll come. I’ll be there soon, and park outside,” I say.
As much as I want to be there for Alice, I need to get some answers. How they captured Ellie is at the top of the list.
Chapter 22
Angel
Never in my life have I been so pissed off with myself. I've hurt the woman I love in more ways than I should’ve. I don't even see a way to win her back.
Pike parks outside Dad’s house and I take in a deep breath. I try to shake as much of this fucked up night out of my head as I can, so I can focus.
“Angel, you have to remember, you didn't have a choice,” Pike says as he hands me a lit cigarette.
I take it from him and stare at the house. It's easy for him to say; they didn’t just murder his girlfriends' brother.
We make our way to the house, and Warren meets us at the door. “What have they said?” I ask.
”Nothing," Warren says as we make our way over to the sitting room. Everyone else is already there.
I look over at Gwen and Ellie who are staring at each other and haven’t looked over at me yet. ”Ellie, are you okay?” I ask.
”Yes. They didn't do anything to me,” she says, and my shoulders drop in relief.
Pouring everyone a drink, Dad, Pike, and Warren come to stand next to me. I look at them and sigh. I never thought this day would come. I would have to tell my sister that she broke the family rule.
“What’s the number one rule of this family, Ellie?” I ask as I take a shot.
“Make sure someone in the family always knows where I am.”
“And which members of the family were you meant to call?” I demand. They fucked up today, and I want to make sure she knows she fucked up, too.
“You, Warren, Dad, or Pike.”
“And did you?”
Ellie goes quiet. Her head tilts towards Gwen. “I asked you a fucking question!” I shout, making her jump.
“No,” she whispers, and I shake my head.
“Angel…” Gwen says.
“
You think because my brother isn't here to tell you that you fucked up, I won't? Gwen, I'm fucking sure Elijah told you the rules. I'm sure Elijah would be going fucking crazy right now that you didn't fucking call me the second she went missing.” I know my voice is loud. I'm making sure they understand every word that’s coming out of my mouth.
Turning my back to them, I look over at my dad. “Where was her security?” I demand.
“I think it's best you talk to them. They seem to be very quiet, and the stories don't really match,” my dad says. I nod to Pike, telling him to go get the head security.
I turn back to Ellie and Gwen, who are looking at each other and whispering. I look over at Joseph, Ellie’s lead security, and he looks at Ellie.
“Don't look at her,” I tell him. “Today is not a day you want to test me. None of you better to test me today.” I look at the three of them, and Gwen flinches.
Filling my glass up again, I lock gazes with Joseph to see if he wants to tell me what happened without me having to ask him, but his gaze drops. I slowly make my way over to Joseph and stand in front of him. I grab him by the neck. “You think I won't hurt you?” I challenge before slamming him back into the wall and punching him in the face. I continue to punch him, waiting for someone to tell me what the fuck happened today.
“It wasn't his fault,” Gwen shouts as blood splatters over my hand.
I take a step back from Joesph, and glare at him for a moment. “You better hope Gwen can save you because I want to kill you right now,” I snarl. I take the towel from Warren and turn to Gwen, ready for answers.
“Ellie wanted to go meet this guy…” Gwen stops when I slap my hand on the table. All this because of some fucking guy? “I told her no, I wasn’t going to help her.” She stops for a moment, as Ellie takes her hand. At least Elijah taught her something about the family. Gwen clears her throat, then looks at everyone behind me.
“You can look at them all you want. Trust me when I say no one will help you today,” I warn her.
“Ellie told me when she got back that she’d called her mum, and her mum said she’d help her. She told Joseph and the others they didn't need to stay, and that she’d already spoken to you about this.” Gwen stops when I put my hand up, not wanting to hear any more about this.
I turn to my dad, indicating he better call her now. What the fuck was she thinking?
I pour myself another drink and stare at the girls as I listen to my dad on the phone.
“You have no fucking idea what you’ve done… You know we need to know where she is at all times… You put her life at risk...Trust me, you don't want to talk to him. He’s ready to kill anyone, even you, at the moment.” Dad puts the phone down, and we don't say anything to each other.
Placing both hands on the table, my head hangs as I take a moment to myself. I’m trying to figure out what the fuck I should say to everyone. “Do you know what your stupidity caused today?” I ask, still not looking up at them. “Do you know what I had to do? What I had to watch?” Finally looking up at Ellie, I say, “Do you have any fucking idea what I've lost because you wanted to meet some fucking guy?” I cannot believe she was this stupid. I cannot believe she thought this was a good fucking reason to leave the house. “You are never leaving this fucking house again. Do I make myself clear?” Ellie nods her head, and I push my dad's hand off me when he tries to calm me down. “Because of you, I had to stand there and watch them kill Ben. To protect my sister, I had to stand there and watch them kill Alice's brother.” Ellie’s eyes widen, and she gasps. Finally, she’s listening to me. Her gaze meets mine, and I watch as her eyes fill with tears. “Ben was Alice’s brother, and I had to stand there and watch her beg Harvey to spare him. I had to watch Alice cry, beg, and plead for me to save him, but I chose to save you. All because you thought a man was more important than your family!”
As I walk away, I hear my dad tell her I'm angry and I didn't mean to blame her for this. He's right. I don't blame her—not entirely. I blame myself more than anyone.
I walk into my dads' office and collapse into a chair and stare at the ceiling. How the hell do I fix this? How do I get Alice to see that I didn't have a choice? I had to watch her beg the man who made her life hell. Is there any redemption for that?
My phone rings and I answer it right away. “Hello?”
“Stuart’s landing tomorrow. Andy’s going to pick him up, but I was hoping to have someone go with him, just in case,” Vinny says.
“I’ll ask Dad. Let me know what time Andy wants to leave. Vinny how—”
“She's locked herself in her room with Drew. I've not seen her since I got here,” Vinny says quietly.
“I'm sorry, Vinny.” It’s the only thing I can say to him, the only thing I can think of, anyway.
“Angel, they had your sister—”
“Vinny, don't,” I interrupt. “I should’ve been prepared for everything. I should’ve… My sister made the wrong choice, and Alice had to pay for it. Now I have to live with what I choose to do.” I sit up, my elbows on my thighs as I dig out my cigarette box.
“I’ll let you know once I talk to Andy.” The line goes dead, and I throw my phone on the floor. The door opens, and I look over at as they all start walking in.
They all stand in front of me, not saying a word. Right now, I don't want to hear anything from them, anyway.
“Dad, will you be okay to go with Andy to the airport to pick up Alice's family?” I ask him as I turn my head to look at the floor. My head is fucking killing me. I just need to kill someone right now.
“Sure, but can you talk to Ellie? She feels—”
“I will, but not now. I need to calm down before I do.” I know she feels like shit. I take a deep breath in as I lean back on the couch and stare at them all. “I'm going to be sitting outside Alice's apartment. Dad, ask Uncle Ronnie to find me Harvey. I don’t care who he has to kill to find him, but I want him. Warren, you're in charge of the bar. Your club is still closed until this is all done.” I look over at Pike. I can send Pike to the bar, but I know him well enough to know he won't leave my side right now. “Is there any point in me telling you to do something?”
“You can try. I'll just tell the devil to fuck off,” Pike says, making me shake my head a little.
“Send Ellie in, then we’ll go.” I watch as he leaves, then turn to my dad. “I’ll be fine,” I reassure him. I’ll talk and stay calm.
I walk over to get myself another drink. I hear the door behind me close. I turn around and lean on the desk.
Ellie stares at the floor. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. There’s nothing I—”
“Ellie, stop.” There’s no point in even saying it. There’s nothing she can do to change what's happened. “Come here,” I say. I bring my glass to my lips and down the whole drink. “You never, and I mean never, leave without one of us knowing about it ever again. I don't care who’s with you, one of us needs to know. The Midlands want my blood. Tomorrow, it’ll be a new family that’ll want it. As much as you hate us for it, your life will always be in danger, and I’ll always worry that something might happen to you. Joseph is one of the best on the security team. Craig has known him long enough for me to trust him. He won't leave your side unless one of us is with you, understand?” I ask, lifting her chin with my finger so she can at least look at me.
“Yes,” she whispers.
“Ellie, I can't lose another family member. You have to make—”
“Angel, I promise it’ll never happen again. Is… Is Alice…” Ellie trails off. She wants to ask how she is, but I don't even know the answer to that question.
“I don't know. She's locked herself in her bedroom with Drew. I'm going over, but she told me she doesn't want to see me. I’ll have to explain to Drew what happened and see if she can talk to Alice. It’ll all be okay. We’ll work through this like we always do.” I stand up and pull her in for a hug. “I love you.” I kiss the top of her head, and her grip around me tightens.
; “I love you too. I hope… Angel, I can't say sorry enough to you or Alice, but…” She takes in a deep breath. Whatever she wants to say, it isn’t easy to get out.
“Ellie, don't worry about it. Everything will work out sooner or later. This is on me, not you, okay?”
Her eyes search mine for a moment, and I don't know what she sees in them, but her body tenses up. “When will you ever let anyone else take on the family responsibility?”
“No one else has to. I know what I have to do, and I’ll always take the blame. This family is my life, and I’ll protect it until my dying breath. I’ll do the same for Alice. I’ll win her back,” I reassure her. I'm happy she, at least, believes me. In all honesty, I don't even know how to begin that climb.
***
I get to Alice's apartment and go up to her door. Vinny tells me she still hasn't left her room. Drew comes out, though, and tells me that if I don’t leave, Alice will call the police. The last thing I need is to upset her even more. I know I'm the last person in the world she wants to see right now, but I need to explain.
I tell Drew and Vinny about Ellie, and how this all happened. Drew doesn’t say anything, and Vinny just looks at me. I'm not sure if it’s because they know how pissed I already am about the whole thing, or if they just don’t have anything to say about it.
Drew does say she’ll call Ellie but, at the moment, if any member of the Frost family's names are mentioned around her, Alice starts shouting at everyone. Even if Vinny or Drew wants to tell her, she won't listen to it right now.
Feeling defeated, I walk back down to the street.
Leaning against my car, I look up at Alice’s window. The lights are on, and I see movement in there, but I’m not sure if it’s Alice or Drew.
“What's the plan?” Pike asks, pulling my thoughts away from the window.
“For the first time in my life, I don't have one,” I admit. I've been thinking about what to do with Harvey, the mole, and Alice, but I've come up with nothing. When I find the mole, I'm not even going to torture him. I'm just going to put a fucking bullet in his head.
