by Allen, J. C
“Sorry ‘bout that, boys downstairs pokin’ and proddin’ ‘round my kitchen.”
“All good, guess you’ll need a bigger fridge, huh?”
“Already got the biggest one,” Matty said, which drew a tension-relieving laugh from me. “Anywho, I’m alone now. So go ahead, whateva ya need to say.”
“OK, Matty,” I said, taking a deep breath. “I’m almost certain I’m pregnant.”
Having said the words should have felt like a release of stress, a relief, a chance to feel unencumbered. Now someone else knew… and instead, it just made it even more intense. Now I had to await the judgment of an objective third party—would they feel amazing, excited, or annoyed and aggravated?
“Ya sure?” Matty said.
He sounded… hopeful?
“I haven’t taken any tests yet to confirm it. But I missed my period and Derek and I haven’t exactly been having protected sex recently.”
“Hah, y’all n’ me both,” Matty said with a chuckle.
“So, yeah, I think it’s likely.”
“Well, how ya feelin’ about it?
There was definitely genuine excitement in his voice. I think he was trying to hide it for the sake of objectivity, but I could hear it.
“I’m… I’m really not sure,” I said. “It could all just be a false alarm, but I don’t think so. I’ve been having these dreams, pleasant ones, about having kids. And… I don’t know, I think my body’s telling me something. Truth be told, I’ve always known I wanted kids. But I’m terrified this is the worst timing ever, and—”
“Don’t be!” Matty said, finally showing the joy that I knew he felt. “This is wonderful! Oh, Derek gonna make a good papa. He’s soft and sensitive, which I tease him ‘bout, but that’ll make him a wonderful pops to the kid.”
“You think so?” I said, wanting the best of my suspicions confirmed.
“Aww hell ya, and I know yer gonna make a great mama.”
“Aww, Matty,” I said, a bit overwhelmed at the moment. “So I guess if I am pregnant, I’ll be keeping it, huh?”
“I think ya should,” Matty said. “Besides, in nine months time, ya ain’t got Falcons or none of that to worry ‘bout. Derek’s here crowin’ bout how he’s got a plan. We got ‘em all but pinned down, Eve. I think we’re ‘bout to beat ‘em for good.”
“I sure hope so,” I said.
For the first time all morning, I chose to let my mind drift into the optimistic. Derek had never objected to starting a family with me, even saying so explicitly a few nights ago. Sure, there’d be stress and trouble, but what newborn parents didn’t have some stress?
“But what about right now?” I said, returning to the moment. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell Derek, do you?”
“Hmm, ya got a point,” he said. “Alright, Eve, do this. Go get tested. Find a place that’ll do a real test. That way, ya can know if it’s for real. If not, then ya got nothin’ to worry ‘bout. If ya are pregnant… my own advice. Wait.”
“Agreed,” I said, relieved to hear someone aligned with my views.
“Derek sounds pretty damn sure we ‘bout to end this once and for all, and if that’s the case, I don’t want nothin’ distractin’ him. Tell him after, but unless he calls you out on it, I think we oughta keep quiet. Yer welcome to—”
“No, I agree,” I said. “Just… promise me then if so, Matty, that you won’t tell anyone else.”
“Hell naw,” he said with an outburst of laughter. “Who ya think I was gonna tell, Tara? That girl got a better chance of actually tryin’ to marry this fat fag than she does of keepin’ that kinda secret!”
More laughter came from Matty, which I could only smile at broadly, feeling enormous relief that everything he was saying was in agreement with me.
Tara was going to kill me when she found out Matty knew first, but I think even she in an objective moment would have said that she wasn’t the best at it. The only time I’d known her to keep secrets was with the Black Falcons, and that was literally life or death. This was just life… and new life.
She’d know in time. I was already bracing myself for her unbridled excitement.
“Thanks for everything Matty,” I said. “I’ll take a test and head over. You’ll know by my expression how it came out.”
“I’m sure I will, girlie,” he said. “Drive safe out there. Get yer ass back here as soon as you finish.”
“I will, thanks.”
I hung up then, dropped the phone to the bathroom counter, and looked into the mirror at myself.
For so long, I had defined myself as Eve Kellerman, aspiring businesswoman. Then I had to define myself as Eve Kellerman, enslaved prostitute. Now, I just identified as Eve Kellerman.
But very soon, I realized with a smile, I would take on a new identity.
Eve Kellerman, mother.
I hurried down to the nearest drug store, taking care to park as close to the entrance as possible. I was quite sure that the Black Falcons had spies on me, although given how badly we had decimated them in recent days, perhaps that was not as strong a fear as I had once thought. Still, it was better to be safe than sorry.
I found a urine test that I could self-administrate, went to the bathroom, and took it.
“Something worth fighting for,” I said as I glanced down at my stomach.
I shouldn’t have been particularly surprised that it had the same shape as it always had for the last few weeks. It’s not like women showed instantaneously, expanding a few inches overnight.
But it sure felt different. It sure felt a lot heavier—in the best sense of the word possible—to know that I was carrying a future Knight and Kellerman in my belly.
Moments later, I got my answer.
I was officially pregnant.
“Oh my God,” I said, doing my best not to squeal in this public bathroom of a drug store.
Realizing I had to get over to Matty’s as quickly as I could, I hurried back to the Camaro and tossed the stuff into the back seat. As I drove out of the parking lot, I realized Derek would see it eventually… but if eventually was in a few days, it might not even matter by then.
Even though I had no plans to tell Derek until we had killed Falcon about this new development, I desperately wanted to see him again. I wanted him to hold me, to hug me, to make me feel secure in his presence. All he had to do was just be there, and he’d do exactly that.
When I got there, I saw Tara running out the door, a look of eager anticipation. Had… had Matty let it slip? Had I trusted the wrong person?
“Girl!” Tara said with a smirk as I got out of the park. “You won’t believe what’s going on!”
Maybe… maybe she doesn’t know yet?
“This entire house as become the new Savage Saviors headquarters!”
OK, she doesn’t know, whew.
“Is that so?” I said, somewhat absentmindedly, still thinking about the significance of this new development.
“Yes! It’s like one minute, it was me, Matty, and the occasional girl from the streets coming to discuss business. Now? It’s like a goddamn frat house in there! I can’t do nothin’!”
“I’m sorry,” I said, still mentally distracted. “I’m sure they’ll clear out soon. It’s just a meeting, remember?”
“I know, but I’m hangry, and girl, you know full well how I get when I get hangry, uh uh,” Tara said with a laugh. “I swear, this place got so crowded, it’s almost too big for me!”
“Got so crowded, it’s almost too big for me.”
That’s going to be me real soon. Probably by about four or five months out… it’s going to look like that.
The thought of that almost made me blurt out to Tara the good news, but perhaps to my good fortune, she ran back inside, yelling something about how the sausage pizza was hers and no one had better touch it. I rolled my eyes in good nature, glad to see that for as bad as the shop’s explosion was, everyone was still the same. Tara was still Tara.
I then watched as Derek opened the door, laughing at something someone said from inside, and I felt a wash of nerves rush into me, as if I, at twelve years old, was about to ask the cute guy from middle school out. It didn’t really help matters that he was grinning also like a twelve year old, as if he had uncovered the greatest secret in the world.
Which… well…
“Someone seems happy,” I said, returning his smile back.
Why you gotta sound so obvious, Eve?!?
“We’ve got this, Eve,” he said. “I think we’re finally gonna be able to both stop Falcon. Rebuilding won’t be an issue.”
“Oh? How do you plan to stop him?” I asked as unease began to fill me.
It couldn’t be that easy, right? Something must be up, right?
“Just wait and see.”
With that, Derek gave me a quick kiss and bounded back to the house like a giddy teenager who couldn’t stand still. Well… now I definitely wasn’t going to interrupt the mood right now.
Then Matty saw me. I smiled. He smiled back.
And I knew then that having this child, this future Knight, was going to bring joy to all of us.
11
Derek
Admittedly, I had gone to bed a complete mess two nights before.
The day after that hadn’t been much better. I spent much of the morning moping, not even in the mood for sex—and when that happened, I knew things weren’t going great. I hadn’t been in such a mood since I had met Eve, and when I had those moods beforehand, they were usually precipitated by the memory of Maggie or one of my family members. Given that the shop had been something of a family relic, it made sense.
But after spending some time realizing I just couldn’t mope any longer the next day, I resolved to get my shit together. I would not show up at the meeting at Roost’s house with anything less that strong determination to defeat Falcon once and for all. I would allow for people to grieve silently, but the time for outward depression and sadness was over. We needed to move on, and we needed to strike at the Falcons for the crippling blow once and for all.
The only problem was figuring out how, exactly, we could find Falcon.
But just before I headed to my team meeting, I got such a gift with, of all things, a missed call.
Falcon had decided to call me in the morning, presumably with some negotiating tactic. But rather than give him the benefit of a call without all of the Saviors around me, I decided I would do so in front of all of them. The point was to prove that this wasn’t just a mano e mano situation; this was my entire extended family of Saviors against the Falcon, who likely stood alone, over his men, domineering like he thought a leader should but only developing fickle followers who abandoned him at the first opportunity.
I was not going to put him on speaker phone; that would be too obvious, and he had already picked up on that once. However, I could record the line, replay it back to the team, and let them know what was happening. In this manner, the entire Savage Saviors, not just Derek Knight, would feel a part of the plot to defeat Falcon once and for all.
When I pulled up—taking sure to take an Uber and taxi, the better so that the spies of the Black Falcons would not suspect and report me to Falcon—I hurried inside, kissed Eve, and went to meet my men. She seemed a little bit flustered, like there was something she wanted to tell me but couldn’t, but for the time being, all I really cared about was her safety. She was in the safest house in all of the city.
I stood before the room after a few minutes of speaking with different individuals, cleared my voice, and waited for the room to die down. I spoke before nearly a hundred me in that room.
“First, Roost, thank you for giving us your space,” I said. “I’m sure all of us will gladly pitch in on the food bill, won’t we?”
I heard some playful groans, and it set the tone I wanted to establish immediately. Tonight was not to be a time of grieving the lost shop. I would acknowledge it shortly, but for now, this was about becoming confident, loose, and ready.
“Don’t eat all of his pizza, gents. I know he’s got a shop’s worth of food in there, but he’d like to have some for himself and his boys!”
More laughter—even from Roost. Roost’s, however, died quickly enough that it told me the jokes were enough. I couldn’t have agreed more.
“Two nights ago, Falcon smuggled a prisoner into our shop who had a bomb on him. I failed to pat him down before we brought him in, and the shop went up in flames. Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt. However, in the process, we lost the Saviors’ headquarters, numerous supplies, records, and just about everything administrative with the club. This is my fault and my fault alone. I don’t want anyone blaming anyone else.”
Though Roost and Tara had taken Bill back, it was on me as the leader. I didn’t want anyone spending any time on blame games or questioning who was at fault. It needed to come back to me, lest they start bickering in the middle of battle or in planning.
“I will not lie, this was painful. My father built this shop, put it in Roost’s name, and would come even when he retired. It was as much a home for me as my parent’s home and my current residence. Imagine your own homes going up in flames, and you will understand. However!”
I let silence hang in the air, along with a soft smile, to make clear I was not going to dwell any longer on the issue.
“Understand this. The Savage Saviors is not a place. It is not a building. It is not anything physical. Yes, these things stand for what the Saviors are, but they are not the Saviors in themselves. The Saviors is a club. It is a brotherhood. It is the love and loyalty that we share for each other. Take a look around the room, all of you. I mean it.”
Everyone did, as if examining members they had either never met or not interacted with very much over the past several months, if not longer.
“I do not expect you to like everyone here. Hell, I don’t like Roost half the time.”
Appreciative laughter filled the air, giving further credence to the idea that we were going to be loose going into this final act.
“But I expect all of you to commit to the ideals my father set in place. Loyalty to your fellow brother. Commitment to the missions of the club. Excellence in your given task. And most of all, a defense for those ideals. That we lost the building has no impact on any of these ideals. If anything, Falcon has done us a favor. He has brought us closer together.”
Murmurs of “amen” and “hell yeah” filled the room. I smiled.
“And today, I am going to prove that to you with an unusual moment,” I said. I pulled out my phone and showed it to everyone. “One hour ago, Falcon called me. I let it go to voicemail. Undoubtedly, he wants to arrange some new ‘terms of peace.’ I cannot put this on speaker phone, but I will be recording this call and replaying it so all of you can hear. In any case, this call will give us everything we need to get set up. Please be completely silent while I call.”
I realized how strange it must have seemed to everyone there to be watching one person make a single phone call. It was akin to watching an actor on stage deliver a monologue into the telephone, except this was not the theatre, and the consequences were not imagined. This was as real as it got.
But that didn’t stop me. At this point, nothing would.
The phone rang twice before Falcon picked up.
“I see that you just woke up, Derek Knight,” Falcon said. “Those of us who value succeeding in life like to rise a little bit earlier, you know.”
“Shut the fuck up, Falcon,” I growled.
I couldn’t reveal how confident and cocky I sounded. I wanted to play the part of wounded soldier who had his pride hurt, and that meant snarling at him as much as I did in the tank of the shop.
It also didn’t hurt that it would enthrall and encourage the men when they realized I didn’t fear the Falcon. Well, at least appear to not fear him, because I certainly had a healthy level of that for him.
“What’s your point? Why did you call this morni
ng?”
The usual wicked laugh came, but at least this time, it was only half as long as normal.
“This whole business of blowing things up, of you destroying my property and me destroying your property, of all the deaths that we have created, of all of the madness we have given this city… it is just too much, would you not agree?”
“I’d agree that your actions have gone too far, asshole,” I said.
“Ever the petulant child, Derek. Ever the petulant one.”
Little do you know I have some tricks up my sleeve, you fuck.
“Nevertheless, as a businessman who deals in the world of crime, I will ignore such words, one, because they are irrelevant, and two, because I have dealt with the kinds of things that would make you soak your panties, Derek. Now then, given that I have some agreement on your part, I have come to offer you a new peace deal, one, that I might add, is even better for you than before.”
“Oh, I can’t wait to hear this one.”
I wondered what it looked like from the back, where Tara and Eve watched, where they had no chance of hearing anything. At least from the front, it was just loud enough that the guys there could pick up a word or two. But back there? It was all one giant guessing game.
“I know you value the girl’s life, so you can let her be. We do not need such a whore, anyways; we prefer someone who would be much more faithful to the cause and much less difficult to deal with. Instead, we request you to come to me.”
“Me,” I said, with a smirk.
“Yes, Derek Knight, you,” he said. “You see, I am not going to kill you. I actually respect what you have done. Your mind, your tenacity, and your fierce loyalty have proved you to be a worthy rival to the Black Falcons. So much so, in fact, that I want you to join us when we move to a new city.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
I was so taken aback… I had expected many things—the lives of Tara, Eve, or Roost; a bribe for them to leave; a promise to do something else.
But I sure as hell had not expected them to ask me to join them. That was… that was…
The only thing I could imagine would be like the United States inviting the Queen of England to come be president. It was just so ridiculous that it defied any logical explanation or rational discussion.
