by Monica Hahn
The only solace he had was in the thought that she wouldn’t be staying in Tibercon. He couldn’t bear the thought of seeing her with another man. It would likely make him homicidal, and that wouldn’t go well with being the king.
Hours later, Mikel brought the bottle up to his lips for another sip and realized it was empty. He shrugged and tossed it into the ocean below. He staggered towards his cabin, nearly losing his footing a couple of times on the stairs, but he made it. He flung open the door and it crashed against the frame. Catarina sat up, startled out of sleep. She looked frightened in the faint light of the lantern in his hand, but she smiled when she saw it was him, and then frowned.
“Mikel, what’s wrong?” she asked.
He ignored her. The pain was too deep to talk about, and he’d finally succeeded in burying it underneath the numbness. And what would he say? Beg her not to leave him? He might if he thought that would work. He groaned, angry with himself for even considering it. He was a prince, he didn’t beg! He chuckled a bit as he considered that he must be very drunk if he was thinking of himself as a prince. Normally that didn’t even cross his mind. He wondered for a brief second if becoming a queen would be something Catarina would care enough about to change her mind. It was his last coherent thought before he blacked out and crashed onto the bunk and his wife.
*****
Catarina had instinctively put her arms up as she saw Mikel swaying towards her. It hadn’t taken much to figure out that he was dead drunk, not with the unusual way he was behaving, and the odor. But she didn’t mind the smell much, not when Mikel was in her arms. She gave in to a moment of weakness and embraced him, breathing in his essence under the gin and then gently took the lantern from the unresisting arm hanging off the side of the bunk and set it safely on the floor. She tried shaking him, but it was no use. He had passed out. Her lips twitched with a wry smile as she thought of the likely hangover he’d be experiencing the next day, but there was sympathy mixed in with the amusement.
She set to work wiggling out from under him and then removed his boots, rolled him into a more comfortable looking position, and covered him with a blanket.
She sighed as she blew out the lantern and settled in on the floor. It was uncomfortable, and as she shifted around she thought about how Mikel never complained about it. She was worried about him, as it wasn’t usual for her Mikel to go on a bender like this. This situation was difficult for both of them, and the sooner they separated the better, as much as she hated imagining life without Mikel. Between the uncomfortable floor and her disturbing thoughts, it took a while for Catarina to drift back to sleep.
Chapter Eighteen
On February 28th, the Quest came into Port Sinbad at Tibercon. Mikel rushed to the deck as soon as land was sighted, and remaining there as the coastline became larger and more distinct. He could feel excitement growing as he thought about seeing his mother again and resuming his responsibilities. Ever since the night he had gotten drunk, Mikel had blocked his feelings about Catarina. There was no point in loving her if she was leaving, so he had been avoiding her since then, coming to their cabin late at night and being very quiet. He was certain that she was still awake most nights, but she stayed silent. He was going to deliver Catarina safely to her home and then he was never going to see her again, so it made more sense to worry about his upcoming role as a royal than to worry about his non-wife.
Mikel was shocked at how drastically Port Sinbad had changed. The reports of it becoming a lawless place hadn’t begun to do it justice. The once impressive walls were crumbling, and there were only a couple of cannons left out of what had been dozens. As they docked and left the ship, Mikel winced as he stepped onto the wharf. What he remembered as freshly scrubbed wood was now old and rotting. His courtesy hold on Catarina tightened until he finally picked her up and carried her until they were on solid ground. He had thought that Catarina would protest, but apparently she agreed that her fancy shoes and flowing skirts made her less agile than usual, as she simply clung to him.
“Thank you,” she said, as he slid her to her feet.
He wasn’t sure whether she was grateful for his care of her or that he had released her, so he just nodded. She tucked her hand into the crook of his arm and tugged him forward. He was busy cataloging the changes as they went through the marketplace and into the residential area. Everything was dirty and broken, and the people seemed either frightened or frightening. He gently stopped a street urchin who tried to pick his pocket and kept one hand on his sword hilt while the other held Catarina close.
As they got farther away from the market and closer to the castle, the homes became more luxurious and he relaxed his guard a bit. He could see the castle more clearly now, and although the stones themselves still looked the same, it had obviously suffered from a lack of proper maintenance. Still imposing, but as someone used to a clean deck, he itched to order the walls scrubbed and things repaired. Catarina’s parents lived in a respectable house, fairly big and well kept, and not far from the castle, which would make sense given her father’s position.
Mikel noticed that as they grew closer to her home, Catarina’s steps had slowed instead of quickening, and now that they were almost there, she was barely moving. He forced himself out of his own thoughts and stopped, turning her to face him.
“What’s wrong, lass?”
She smiled at that, and her eyes filled with tears. “I don’t know,” she said. She waved her hands helplessly, as if they could express what she didn’t fully understand. “I should be happy to see my parents again, and relieved to be safe and back home, but…”
“But?”
“I’m sad that the adventure is over,” she said. “Not the horrible first part, of course, but everything since I married you. I’ll miss you, Mikel.”
Mikel took a deep breath. The urge to secure her in his embrace and take her back to the ship, to sail right on out of here and never return her to her parents or her fiancé was so strong he was nearly trembling. He focused on what had become his mantra. He loved her, so he was going to do the hard thing for her. “And we’ll miss you, lass. The ship won’t be the same without you.”
*****
Catarina didn’t want to hear about the crew missing her. She wanted to know that Mikel would. She understood why he had been so distant the last week, and she had even thought that is was probably for the best. But there was nothing that she wanted more right now then to throw herself into his arms and tell him that she didn’t want to go through with this. Whereas before she hadn’t wanted to marry Stefan on general principles, now she really didn’t want to marry Stefan because she loved Mikel. Deeply, truly, and forever. Was it too much to want Mikel to admit he might feel the same, even though she knew that it was cruel since they were about to part? Although if he would tell her that he loved her, if he would ask her to stay with him, she would. And then what? Marry a seaman for real and travel the world with him on a ship? For the first time she seriously considered the idea and surprisingly her heart leapt at the thought. With anyone but Mikel, no, but with him? That would be wonderful! And impractical. And dishonorable.
Catarina straightened her spine and quickly wiped her tears, sniffing a bit. “I want to express my gratitude for the great care you’ve taken of me,” she said. “You saved my life and I will always be grateful.”
“I don’t want your gratitude,” he said. “But you’re welcome.”
She threw her arms around him, not caring if he didn’t want her gratitude, or her. He was probably going to be glad to be rid of her. She’d seen the way other women looked at him on their way here, and knew that he would only be without company if he chose it. But for this moment, he was hers and she hugged him tightly. Slowly, his arms came around her and then tightened, until she couldn’t breathe and didn’t care. Then he released her abruptly and she let go and stepped back.
“Goodbye, Mikel.”
He shook his head and reached for her hand. “I said I’d escort y
ou to your door,” he said stubbornly.
She smiled, loving his stubbornness and the way he took care of her. Caring for her was pretty close to caring about her, wasn’t it?
She knocked on the door. It flew open, and surprisingly, it was her mother that stood there, not a servant as she had been expecting. From the look of shock on her mother’s face, she hadn’t been expected, either.
“Catarina!” Her name had never been said with such joy, and Catarina felt her eyes fill with tears again. Then she was being squeezed in her mother’s embrace and she let the tears fall.
It was a minute or two before her mother held her away to look at her. “It’s really you,” she said. “What in the world?” Then she was hugged again. “Where did you come from? Where have you been? Are you unharmed?”
Catarina started laughing at the rapid-fire nature of the questions. It was so like her mother. “I’ll tell you,” she said. “But it might be best to do so with Father present, so that I don’t have to repeat it.”
“And Stefan,” her mother said, her nose wrinkling.
“He’s here?” Catarina asked, feeling the dread build. Her last hope had been that Stefan would somehow no longer want to marry her, but him being here seemed to dispute that.
“Yes,” her mother said. “He arrived yesterday. So far we haven’t really told him anything other than that you were away, since your father didn’t want to dissuade him until he had to, but now that you’re here, everything is as it should be.” She became aware of Mikel, and Catarina realized that they’d been very rude.
“My apologies, Mikel,” she said. “Mother, this is Mikel. He saved me.”
Her mother looked from the handsome seaman to her daughter, and Catarina tried to fill her expression with as much disinterest as possible. She didn’t want to have to explain who Mikel really was to her.
Catarina’s mother extended her hand and allowed Mikel to gallantly bring it to his lips. “A pleasure to meet you,” she said. “Please know that we are forever grateful to you for caring for our child. If you wouldn’t mind waiting for a moment, I know that my husband would like to meet you, and perhaps he can express our gratitude in a more appropriate fashion.”
Catarina watched the touch of disdain pass like a shadow over Mikel’s face at her mother’s discreet mention of money.
He shook his head. “That’s not necessary,” he said. “It was a pleasure.” He smiled at Catarina, and she almost sighed at the way his eyes crinkled when he did so. He bowed to her. “I should be getting back,” he said. “We’ll be here another day or two, so please let me know if I can be of further service to you.”
She nodded and with another deep look between them, he walked out the door. Her mother looked at Catarina and her eyes narrowed. “What a charming man,” she said, a little too brightly. “You seem to be very friendly with that pirate.”
“Mikel is a former pirate,” Catarina said, with dignity. “And he is the best man I’ve ever known.”
“Don’t let Stefan hear you say that,” her mother advised, dryly. “Speaking of which, let’s find him and your father. I’m anxious to hear your story.”
A few minutes later, after an obligatory embrace from her father and a stilted greeting from her fiancé, Catarina told her story to an enraptured audience of three. She didn’t bother dramatizing it, since it was compelling enough with just the bare facts, but she didn’t leave anything out, either, although Mikel had strongly suggested it. When she was done, she could see that her mother was quietly sobbing, but her fiancé’s eyes held a calculating expression.
“You were married?” he asked.
“Yes, but it was pretend,” she said. “Like I said, it was just to save me. Because of the stupid superstition that I was dangerous.”
“But this Tarik, he performed the ceremony?”
“Yes.”
“And he’s the captain of this vessel?”
“Yes.”
“And he read the ceremony from the book?”
“Yes,” she said, growing impatient with the questions. The whole incredible tale and he was focusing on something that didn’t even matter. She turned to her father to see how he was taking the whole thing, and was shocked to see that he was angry. Maybe he also found Stefan’s questions intrusive?
“Then you married this Mikel,” Stefan said, with finality.
“I know,” Catarina said.
“No,” her father said, the first comment he’d made since she began, and he sounded very angry. “He means that you married him, in truth. You are legally married to a pirate.”
Catarina’s head started spinning. She thought of protesting, but the look of certainty on both of their faces was enough to convince her. Why hadn’t she realized that before? She had blindly believed Tarik, who she now realized would have said anything he needed to say to restore order to his ship. That would explain how surprised and upset Mikel had been when she had told him that their wedding was a fake. He hadn’t known that she thought otherwise, which would make sense if it was real. A sense of warmth came over her as she realized that he had been willing to marry her, a complete stranger, just to keep her safe and to save her. He was an amazing man.
“So, she’ll get it annulled,” her mother said.
“You could annul it?” her father asked.
Catarina thought through the implications and for the first time in her life badly wanted to lie. But, she didn’t. “Yes,” she said.
“No,” Stefan said. They all looked at him. He was staring at Catarina with a look of disdain that she found insulting. “I will not take a bride that has had a previous wedding annulled, assuming that was even truly possible.”
Catarina bit her lip to keep down the retort about having her honor questioned. No reason to antagonize him when he was saying what she had wanted to hear for years. More or less.
“What are you saying?” her father asked.
“Our arrangement is at an end,” Stefan said. “The deal has been broken by your family, and although remuneration would be impossible, consider any additional entitlements at an end.” He bowed slightly at her father, the gesture insulting. “Good day.”
And Stefan walked out.
“Well, that was dramatic,” her mother said, dryly.
Her father rounded on his wife. “Really? Is that what you have to say to our situation? We’ve lost everything!”
Her mother put an arm around Catarina. “Not everything,” she said, smiling at her daughter.
“It’s because of her,” her father said. “It’s all her fault. All she had to do was marry an eligible man, and she married a pirate instead!”
“He’s not a pirate!” Catarina said. “And he’s a million times a better man than Stefan could ever hope to be!”
“I hope he’s a million times richer,” her father said. “This non-pirate of yours.”
“He’s not,” Catarina said. “He had a fortune, but he used it all to get me here.”
Her father didn’t seem impressed by this sacrifice. “Maybe it’s not too late,” he said. “I know Stefan was angry, but it was a shock to all of us. We’ll give him some time to reconsider, and in the meantime, I’ll contact his father and renegotiate. If not Stefan, perhaps his younger brother, or a cousin…”
“You still want to use me as a bargaining chip?” Catarina asked, incredulously, although that emotion might be unjustified, considering her intimate knowledge of her father’s methods.
“If possible,” her father said.
“I won’t do it,” Catarina said.
“You what?” her father asked.
“I won’t do it,” Catarina said, slowly and more forcefully. “Apparently, I am already married, and I am going to stay married.”
“To the pirate?”
“Yes,” Catarina said, not caring anymore about defending Mikel’s non-pirate status. After all, she loved the pirate in him, so why deny it?
“Get out,” her father said.
“Wh
at?” Catarina and her mother chorused.
“Get out of my house,” her father said. “Or what is my house until your wicked mischief causes it to be repossessed and us thrown out on the street. Get out!”
Catarina saw the rage building on his face and felt fear, then grew angry at the thought of being afraid of her father. For all the times she had longed to return home to where it was safe, she now saw that it was an illusion. The only place she had ever felt truly safe in her life was with Mikel. She held her hands up in a gesture of surrender. “I’ll go,” she said. She turned to her mother and hugged her. “It was wonderful to see you again,” she said.
“He’ll come around,” her mother whispered. “Give it time.”
Catarina drew back and smiled wistfully at her.
“Goodbye, Father,” she said, then left what was no longer her home. She managed to keep it together until she was a few steps away from the closed door, and then her legs crumpled underneath her, and she fell to the ground. She sobbed. For the first time in her life, she had no plan, and didn’t know what to do. Of course, she thought of running back to the ship, and Mikel, but why would he want her? If he truly loved her he would have said so today instead of letting her go, and she didn’t want to be a burden to him if he didn’t love her.
