by E. H. Lyon
Our sounds and grunts fill the air. My hand clasps her cheek, forcing us to stare at one another as she wails with a mixture of pleasure and emotion, her body tilting into my movement.
In that second, I recognize she needed me this way as much as I needed her.
Our mouths fuse together, because we want every part of us to be together in this moment.
I release inside her as her hands fist my hair, and I feel gratification that I can leave my mark in her again. It should always have been only me. My what if girl. The one I no doubt never stopped loving.
She holds me and kisses my hair as I stay inside her and breathe into her slick, sweaty neck with my heart racing, appreciating how beautifully perfect she feels.
We lie there for a few minutes, breathless, saying nothing as she strokes my face, both knowing this is complicated, crazy, needed, love.
Right.
It is only when I feel her body underneath me wiggle a little that I realize I’m still inside her. Slowly, I pull out and roll to my back.
Avery nestles into my arm and lays her head on my chest near my heart that, fuck, I hope she knows is beating for her, wrapping her arm tightly around me. Her fingers make circles on my skin. My arm pulls her closer, placing a kiss on her hair.
Still, we say nothing as we relish our bliss until we fall asleep.
Avery
Waking as the sun begins to rise and sunlight gently comes through the cracks of the curtains, I feel that our bodies must have shifted during the night as Jake is spooning me, my back to his front, and we fit effortlessly.
Last night was a surreal experience. I’ve never had sex like that. As if our livelihood depended on it. My mouth did not want to say anything, and all I wanted was him.
Few words, no foreplay, pure comfort, and purely primal.
But it felt right. So right.
Part of me wonders, if I had stayed five years ago, is this what comforting each other would have been like?
Slowly, I barely move my body as a soft mumble escapes me and my eyes blink open a few times as I look behind me to meet his warm chocolate eyes. His arms tighten around me, his body pressing harder into me.
My hand comes to touch his face and he kisses my palm with a gentle kiss. l slide my hand away and find his arm wrapped around my waist.
We are simmering with each other. Waking up together, slowly and tenderly, is something I’ve missed.
His hand touches my thigh, and he is reminded that I’m still naked from our encounter a few hours earlier. It does something to him, and I let out a soft gasp when I feel him grow against my back. My hand reaches behind me to feel what I already know.
His body wants me again.
He kisses my neck softly and my eyes meet his.
In that moment, I can’t decide if I need him or want him more, but I know he wants me, and I want to take care of him. I want him to have whatever he needs.
The last few days, I realized that the only way to heal sometimes is with the other person. And even though I said slow, all afternoon yesterday, my mind wouldn’t stop thinking about us, and the only thing that made sense to me was needing to be with him—like this.
Looking behind me, I let my hand clasp his face and my thumb stroke his mouth.
Every move we make now is like feathers dancing, our bodies making slight adjustments to feel even closer to each other. Our lips brush each other’s, sending shudders to my nerve endings.
His lips lead the way to press onto mine.
Our lips meeting is soft, slow, and light. But something overcomes him, and quickly his mouth devours mine and the kiss deepens. Our tongues meet as our mouths slant to get a better angle. The kiss is full of intention and want.
His hand comes to my cheek so he can hold me and kiss me with more force, almost as if he needs me to know how much he wants me. We go for as long as we can, breathing in each other. We are utterly lost in the moment.
I drag our joined hands to my inner thigh, inviting him to move in, guiding his hand with mine to my silky folds, showing him that I woke up ready for him. His fingers touching me to test the waters makes my inner walls ache for him.
It takes no time before his cock is sliding into me because we are both ready. He holds me tight against him as we lie there.
His strong arms make me feel like he won’t let go, maybe will never let go. I hope so.
It does not matter the circumstances, early mornings are always extra sensitive, gentle, and slow. That is what we do. We take time to look at each other as he thrusts into me, my gentle moans escaping in between our mouths meeting.
I grab his hand and guide it up my body so he can cup and feel my soft breasts as he moves inside me. His fingers find my nipples to pluck, and it sends a wave of sensitivity to my core.
He continues to drive in and out of me, sending vibrations through me.
Our bodies move together in a slow trance, but eventually our pace quickens as he goes deep, and his fingers slide down from my nipples to my clit that he strokes and makes me want to release. We move in sync until we both reach our point of ecstasy.
Holding each other, he stays in me until he has no choice but to pull out, with the feeling of him left behind and seeping out of me along my thigh.
But just like earlier, I don’t care that the bed smells of sex and my thighs are sticky from his cum. I only fall back into his embrace and we both snooze off into a post-bliss state.
At around eight in the morning, I slowly blink my eyes open. Quickly, I realize there is a cold feeling along my side and realize there’s an empty space next to me. Managing to move my limbs, I come up to sitting and rub my head.
My eyes shoot up to Jake coming into the room, already dressed in jeans and a dress shirt. His mouth gives me a slight crack in the corner, as if he’s recalling last night. He grabs his watch and puts it on as he sits on the bed.
My hand reaches out to touch his arm gently. “Jake,” I manage to say, because I don’t know what else to say. Last night was unexpected. Not in the sense that it happened, but the fact we made love so intensely that I finally understand how these things can be soul-changing.
He re-angles his body and lets the back of his hand glide along my cheek.
After a moment or two he looks at me with guilt. “We didn’t… I didn’t use anything.”
“It’s okay. I’m on birth control… and I trust you,” I answer gently, because with our history, that little detail matters a lot. A wave of what can only be described as relief comes over his face, and I wonder why neither one of us even thought about it in the heat of the moment… twice.
“I have to go, but we need to talk.” I can’t figure out his tone. It’s too neutral, too plain. It sends a wave of worry through me.
His look, his gentle nod, in a way tells me something has changed.
Chapter Sixteen
Avery
After leaving Jake’s, I headed to Smokey Java’s. But Jake Sutton does something to me that affects my ability to bake, and all my usual recipes failed at every attempt. I gave up when Jess arrived to grab a coffee.
She’s telling me about errands she has to do for Harper and Max’s wedding since she has a big role to play. A wedding-shower cake is on her list today, and we head straight into conversation when she asks if I can make one.
“Really, Jess, I’m not a wedding cake specialist. Maybe I could give a recommendation of someone,” I insist as I look up from my laptop where we’re sitting at a spare table in the café. I’m a baker, not a cake designer.
“But you made ours!”
I choke on my coffee. “Yeah, because that was the ‘can you pass the wine and oh by the way we got married here’s a cake’ kind of wedding cake. Harper is having all the traditional wedding festivities, which requires a beautiful cake that lives up to all her Pinterest dreams.”
Jess huffs then pulls up a chair next to me. “How I was delegated this task, I do not know. Maybe we could do cupcakes? Is that something
you would do?”
I can see she’s looking at a message from Harper. “If it’s really what she wants, then yes, happy to. By the way, Harper seems a little stressed lately,” I comment, because I know Jess doesn’t mind my honesty.
“She is. Mostly thanks to her mother-in-law-to-be. But hey, can’t win them all.” She shrugs a shoulder and takes a sip from her coffee-to-go cup. “By the way, I heard you’re a finalist for the Sagey for best local business! I bet it’s your carrot cake that will seal the deal.”
“Oh yeah, free publicity here I come.” I try to move us on.
She squints an eye at me. “You have a marketing background. You should have more excitement for this opportunity, surely. Plus, this place has done great. People have to book in advance for weekend breakfast.”
“I know, and I guess, well… it is kind of cool.” A faint smile appears on my face.
Leaning back in my chair, I cross my legs because my mind also ventures to everything else that is making me happy lately. The thought of the man makes me pulse.
Jess gives me a knowing smile. “Spill it, Avery,” she orders with a grin. “I want the Jake update.”
“I think we’re going in the right direction,” I shrug.
“That’s a start.”
Jess’s phone vibrates on the table and she looks at her notification, sighs, and holds up a finger. “Bridezilla wants to know if she can place you and Jake together at the same table at the reception.”
“Yeah, sure.” Whoa, that comes out too easy-breezy. I should not jump on that ship yet. Not after this morning and the impending need to talk conversation that still needs to happen.
Jess bites her lip and types back to Harper. “Good. So, what is going on?”
Sinking in my chair, I look at her and debate what to say. “It feels like one step forward, two steps back. I do think we’re going in the right direction, but now he wants to talk. It makes me sick just thinking about it, because I felt like something changed in his voice. I mean, maybe I was living in la-la land, thinking that we could talk it out and start again. Maybe he realizes I just hurt him too much. If I were him, I would struggle to forgive me too. But being with him again is like the best piece of cake you could ever have, and you don’t want just a piece, you want the whole cake.”
Jess straightens her posture and holds out a hand to interrupt before tapping her nails on the tabletop. “First off, everybody wishes they could do things differently, but time machines don’t exist, so don’t dance around in circles. Just tell him how you feel, and what’s bothering you. That guy has a whole new face since he saw you again. At least then he knows, and you can have peace with it. Please learn from my mistakes, I beg of you.” She gives me a half-smile with pleading hands. Jess had most certainly danced around in circles with her now husband; it took a while before she admitted her true feelings, even though everyone else knew.
I bite my lip. “You’re right. I need to tell him what’s bothering me.”
Sitting at my laptop, I work on some administration with headphones on, listening to Pete Yorn. Still, it doesn’t drown out the sound of a rambunctious child running into the bakery behind me. I take my headphones off and turn my head to see Jake walking behind her and towards me.
My face is surprised yet pleased and slightly confused. Standing up, I slowly walk to meet him in the middle of the bakery. I really want to kiss him, but the child is throwing me off.
“Hi,” I greet him quietly.
“Hey,” he replies, equally softly.
The child is tugging on his coat. I look at her and then Jake with an amused and bewildered look.
“This is my niece, Stella.” He tries to pull her away from his coat with a challenging look. “She is a little hyper after being in the car,” he grits through a fake smile that forms on his face.
Ah, of course, his niece. “I can see that. I remember when you used to show me photos when she was a baby.” I offer a warm smile.
“Uncle J, Uncle J, Uncle J. Can I have cake now? I want cake,” Stella almost sings her way into a tantrum, and I can see Jake is overwhelmed.
Leaning down so I’m at Stella’s eye level, I smile at the little girl. “You must be Stella?”
“Yes, are you a special friend that my mommy says Uncle Jake sometimes has?”
I peer up to Jake who has an uncomfortable-looking grin as he scratches the back of his head. I decide to just roll with it and move past that. “Yeah… I’m Avery, and I think I know that you are an amazing artist. Would you like to draw me a picture just like the one that is on your uncle’s fridge? And I am sure we can get you a small cupcake to have.” I emphasize small to assure Jake that the already-hyper girl is not going to get more hyper. I nod to Tammy to come. “Tammy will get you some crayons and you can pick out any cupcake you want.”
“Really?” Stella’s eyes turn to magic. I give her a nod yes before she skips away with Tammy.
Standing back up, I look at Jake. “Can I get you an espresso… or a double or triple shot of espresso?”
“I may need it. Becca, my sister, has a divorce mediation meeting today. Her sitter cancelled and I was volunteered to babysit.”
I nod in understanding.
He gives me a soft smile and grabs my wrist, bringing it to his lips, and he gives me a gentle kiss on my pulse. “I needed to see you and didn’t want to wait.”
Most certainly a half-smile escapes me. “But you were a little off this morning after we…”
He rubs his chin. “Avery, we need to ta—”
“Talk. Yeah, you established that.” I look away from him with a blank look.
Stepping closer to me, he takes my other hand in his. “I’m sorry. I didn’t respect your request. I let you lead the way and didn’t take into account what you said the other day about going slow.” He draws his lips together.
Looking around the bakery, I check to make sure we have no audience. I have to grin. “Exactly, I led the way. Wait—is this what has you bothered? What had me freaking out all day?” My eyes blink a few times as I study his face that drops into a realization that he had me worried. “It felt right,” I add.
My eyes study his as a wave of relief comes over him, and me.
“It did feel right.” Jake quickly grabs me by the waist and pulls me close to him so he can whisper in my ear. “So right.” Those words send trembles of relief and joy through my body. And heaven help me, but I want to screw over every health and safety guideline in this place—literally.
“Kind of an almost out-of-body experience, right?” My eyes flutter when I say that as I’m almost bashful.
“Yeah.” The corners of his mouth tug to a slant.
We both look at one another with unguarded smiles. Eyes lost, and we are in our own world.
Until Stella comes running to us, jumping and squealing with excitement, forcing Jake and I to step apart.
“Avery, do you dance too? I’m doing ballet classes and I asked Uncle J to dance with me, but he said he doesn’t dance.”
My gaze moves to Jake who gives me a knowing grin. “Is that so?” I give him a daring look. “You know, your uncle can dance, and I think he should show us.” I throw a hand to my hip.
Jake scratches his cheek and tries to fight showing his entertainment to this situation. Looking around the bakery, he sees we are pretty much alone as it’s mid-afternoon.
“Avery knows I only dance with a stunning woman in my arms.”
“Any stunning woman? You had options?” I taunt.
The 6-year-old does not pick up on our adult banter.
“Show me, show me,” she bounces.
He grunts in annoyance and holds a hand out to me. In victory, I take his hand.
“Your uncle is really good at leading,” I say but look at Jake, letting him know I am insinuating something else. He picks up on it.
We meet in the middle of my bakery and our bodies press together as we sway side to side. Occasionally he twirls me around and brings
me back to him.
“Avery is really good at following my lead.” He raises a brow at me with his innuendo.
Stella claps then runs off, presumably back to her crayons. Yet, Jake and I stay attached to each other, staring and enjoying the moment.
“You know she lost interest already,” I inform him.
“Yeah, but I don’t want to let go. Plus, I remember you like dancing. Used to do it all the time around my apartment… even half-naked sometimes,” he reminds me as he brings our touching hands to his chest. “Stella is sleeping over. But maybe you can stop by later?”
“Not sure that’s a great idea. I mean, your sister has never met me, and now I would hang around her daughter? Plus, it may be weird for your niece that you’re dating?” I ask, puzzled.
Jake lets out a sound as he takes out his phone from his pocket and types something into it. “First off, I am her uncle, not her father or mother, so as much as I love the kid, she isn’t going to dictate my dating life. Secondly, I would like to think she will be seeing a lot of you in the near future,” he lists and holds a finger up as he reads a text on his phone. “And my sister just replied, she doesn’t mind.”
Laughing, I reposition our embrace. “Okay, you sold it. Shall I bring cookies or cake? What will upgrade me to the cool-person category in Stella’s world?”
“Just you, but by all means, show up without any panties on to rock her uncle’s world.” His arms snake around my waist as he leans back to admire the look on my face.
“I’ll take it into consideration.”
Jake
My niece was hyper-energized today. The new addition of a goldfish to my home made her day, and then after pizza, she finally headed to bed. She enjoyed having Avery around, and I do too.
