by Sarah Noffke
“I agree.” Sophia was grateful that at least they were on the same page about something. “Because of the way the House of Fourteen’s structure is set up, it’s difficult to get rid of those who are corrupt. So we created a test. It’s not deceitful because they don’t have to follow the map. Those who wouldn’t want absolute power wouldn’t dare. If they do follow the map, they’ll be given tasks along the way. They can always choose the path of good and redemption. We plan to have their peers on the Council and the Warriors watching remotely.”
“It’s a trial.” Rory nodded in approval.
“Yes,” Sophia affirmed. “It’s a way for us to go the extra step and get rid of those who are serving themselves and not the magical communities.” She faced Chief Dag. “You see, the House of Fourteen, whether you want to admit it or not, has far-reaching powers. They influence the Dragon Elite, the mortals, and every single magical race. It therefore behooves us all to ensure they’re operating at the highest level of integrity and accountability.”
The chief let out a breath and looked down at the ground. “I will have to think on this for a moment. This is a lot of information at once.”
For your tiny little brain in a big head to process, Sophia thought, with a morbid mental laugh.
Did you know, Lunis began in Sophia’s head, that tall people are usually bad at math?
She wanted to laugh at the strange timing of her dragon telling jokes in her head, but since the chief was taxing his brain with new thoughts, she figured she had the opportunity to indulge. No, why are tall people bad at math?
Because it’s the little things that count. Lunis howled with laughter.
Oh, wow, she replied with zero inflection.
Pretty funny, huh? he asked. These oversized beefcakes didn’t even laugh. Can you believe that?
Maybe you need different material, she suggested, watching as the chief paced the same way that Hiker Wallace did when he was anxious. Rory was playing the part of the cool giant, merely standing and watching the chief.
Once there was a king who was only twelve inches tall, Lunis said in Sophia’s head.
Oh, really? Go on then.
He was a lousy king, but he made a great ruler.
I’m surprised that you haven’t created a full-on mutiny out there, Sophia retorted to her dragon. You do remember that giants are allergic to humor?
I’ll break them. Lunis was encouraged by the challenge.
I’m not sure it’s worth your efforts. Liv has been trying to make Rory laugh for ages. It’s never worked, and he’s the least rigid of all the giants.
Liv’s jokes have nothing on mine, Lunis argued. Oh! Here’s one. What’s common between tall people and metal music fans?
What?
They both head-bang a lot. Lunis again laughed loudly at his joke.
Before Sophia could inform her dragon that he officially had told the worst joke in the world, the chief of the giants halted his pacing and turned to face her.
“I’ve considered the information you’ve told me. Now I’ll allow you to make your request to Rory Laurens, but he isn’t permitted to answer until I’ve approved,” Chief Dag stated with authority.
Sophia nearly rolled her eyes from all the micromanagement this guy pulled on his people. Talk about needing boundaries. However, she caught herself and collected her composure, then looked at Rory. “Liv and I thought that it would make sense for different magical races to play a part in each segment of the task. Since giants are known for riddles, we thought that you could be the final gatekeeper to the end of the map’s treasure, which is a trap, of course. Anyway, it doesn’t make sense for it to be one of us since that would clue them in. Since the prize is ruling over the magical world with total power, it makes sense that various magical creatures play a part in it.”
Before Rory could say a word, Chief Dag held up his hand. “Again, I will take the time to think on this and respond with my approval or denial.”
And the creaky gears once again start slowly churning in Chief Brick-Head’s mind, Sophia thought with a laugh.
Okay, well, I can sing the theme music from Jeopardy, Lunis offered. Orrrr I can tell you another tall joke that the dumb jerks out here didn’t laugh at.
I’ll take the latter for two hundred, Sophia replied, amused.
You know why you can never trust tall people?
Why?
They always think they’re above everyone else.
The blue dragon sounded like he was rolling around with laughter. Sophia simply shook her head.
Since that one didn’t get a single reaction, Lunis began, I decided to spin the jokes around, making them about short people instead. I mean, it goes to reason that the giants don’t like laughing at themselves.
Or laughing, period, Sophia retorted, realizing that Chief Dag might pass out from all this thinking. He probably didn’t do this much in a whole month. Lay another joke on me, she encouraged.
There’s a type of mustard gas that stays near the ground and only kills people less than four feet tall, Lunis said, the laugh building in his tone.
Oh, really? Sophia faked curiosity.
Yeah, it’s used in chemical dwarfare.
I’m surprised that they haven’t tied you up already. Sophia was amused.
They can try, Lunis threatened.
Chief Dag glanced up with a new resolve in his small eyes. “I’ve heard your requests, and I’ve considered it. Now before I make my final ruling, you must tell me what you’ll do for us.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Sophia wanted to ask if the chief was registered somewhere that she could get him what he really needed. Maybe he has a wish list on Amazon or a registry at Bed, Bath and Beyond, she thought with a laugh.
Although her internal humor was keeping her sane, she knew this next part was crucial. Not only would Chief Dag not tell her what he wanted in exchange for his approval, but he also wanted to test her to see what she offered him. If it was too small, he was liable to kick her off the island straight away. If it wasn’t something he really wanted, he might have her and Lunis tied up and roasted. Therefore, Sophia knew her offer had to be good.
Thankfully, Lunis’ bad jokes had given her an idea.
They aren’t bad, the blue dragon argued in her head.
Stop eavesdropping on my thoughts and work on your material, Sophia demanded.
She straightened, cleared her throat, and gained the attention of both giants. Her idea was bold. It was dangerous. Worse than both those things, she had no idea if she could deliver even if she promised it and the chief accepted. Her instinct told her to take the chance.
“I understand from attending Council meetings at the House of Fourteen that the giants are once more on the verge of war with the gnomes,” Sophia said in an even tone.
Anger flared at once on Chief Dag’s face. “It’s true. The waters north of here have always been part of our fishing territory. Although we prefer not to share, we’ve done that with the gnomes for centuries. Now, they’re declaring that this area is theirs and refusing to grant us access. They put up barriers that our boats can’t cross. I’ve warned them, and if they don’t take them down, war is imminent.”
Sophia nodded, knowing that the feud was about sharing resources. The gnomes and giants lived in proximity to each other and clashed about every century or so. It usually resulted in a few bloody battles before they settled things. Recently, the House of Fourteen had been trying to make progress, but the gnomes weren’t budging. They felt as though the other magical races had bullied them for too long and now they finally had a little power to hold over everyone’s heads. They were as stubborn as the giants and a quarter of their size.
“Well, what if I go to the gnomes’ homeland and negotiate a resolution for you?” Sophia offered.
“No!” Rory exclaimed at once, his eyes going wide.
Chief Dag didn’t look happy about the other giant talking out of turn. Apparently, that wasn’t allowe
d on the very long list of illegal behaviors. “Rory Laurens, this part of the discussion doesn’t involve you.”
“It does though,” Rory argued. “I don’t want Sophia risking herself like that. It’s not worth it. The gnomes, much like the giants, fire on any intruders who enter their land. Although I’m confident that she and Lunis can get past that, there’s no way the gnomes will make a deal with her as a dragonrider and a magician. They won’t make a deal with anyone. Negotiations are useless. The entire mission would be too dangerous and fruitless.”
“Although I can’t argue with you on any of that,” Chief Dag began, “it’s not up to you. If a magician wants to try and get us access to our fishing waters, I’m not sure this is a deal I want to decline. Of all the things she could have offered, this is the one that has my attention.”
Sophia rejoiced internally for picking the gnome option. However, it still appeared she was a ways off from a resolution. Rory looked adamantly against this.
“I don’t want her to do it,” Rory argued, his face suddenly red. “The gnomes are ruthless. They’re unreasonable. There’s no way they’ll change their minds.”
“That’s not your concern,” Chief Dag stated. “I want the dragonrider to negotiate on our behalf. That’s the offer I’ll take in return for allowing you to play a part in this House of Fourteen business.”
The leader of the giants turned to Sophia. “You’ll have to get a resolution to this that pleases me. If you don’t, the deal is off. I won’t allow Rory Laurens to participate—”
“I’ll do as I please,” Rory interrupted, his voice vibrating.
Sophia sucked in a breath, shocked by her friend’s boldness.
The chief, however, looked close to bursting a vein in his forehead. He whipped around. “What did you say to me?”
“You can’t tell me what to do in the modern world,” Rory argued. “I’ll help the House of Fourteen if I want to. Therefore, Sophia doesn’t have to risk everything and waste her precious time on a useless mission.”
Sophia braced herself for the chief’s outburst. However, to her surprise, Chief Dag simply lowered his chin and said in a soft voice, “If you want my blessing, which you apparently require, then you’ll do as I say in this matter.”
Rory’s eyes filled with grief, a real conflict waging in him. “But—”
“Yes, I understand that you probably do as you please in the modern world,” Chief Dag interrupted. “The same as your mother and the handful of giants who choose to live outside our boundaries. Remember that when you’re on my land, you answer to my rule. If this magician wants to make this request of you, I must approve it, and that means I want something in return.”
“But…” Rory repeated but had lost some of his earlier resolve.
“If you want my blessing, which I know you do, then you’ll respect my authority on this matter,” Chief Dag stated. “Is that clear?”
Rory pulled in a breath. Sophia held hers, not knowing which way this would go. Finally, Rory nodded, looking very defeated. “Yes, sir. I understand.”
“Very good.” Chief Dag swiveled his head and looked down at Sophia.
“But sir,” Rory interrupted.
“Yes?”
“I want to accompany her to the land of the gnomes,” Rory said to both the chief’s and Sophia’s surprise.
“You what?” Chief Dag questioned.
“Well, it’s a matter to do with the giants,” Rory argued. “So it makes sense that one of us should be there to ensure the proper agreement is signed. I’ve dealt with gnomes enough that I’ll be able to advise Sophia. Getting there won’t be easy, and I have experience.”
Sophia knew that Rory simply felt responsible for getting her into this mess, but she didn’t want him putting himself in danger. Before the chief could break into one of his long thinking sessions again, Sophia cut in. “Although I appreciate that, Rory, it’s not necessary. I’ll need to fly into the gnome’s homeland on Lunis so it only makes sense for me to go alone.”
“You won’t know where to find their homeland,” Rory countered.
“You can inform me,” Sophia stated.
He covered his forehead with his hand, torn by these new developments. “There’s no way they’ll listen to you. Once you’ve trespassed, they’ll never release you. That’s punishable by death.”
Sophia wanted to point out that the same law applied to stepping foot on the giant’s land, and she was still alive. However, she didn’t think it was a good idea to push her luck and remind the chief that he hadn’t stood by his laws. He looked like a man who changed his mind without notice. “Don’t worry, Rory. I have a plan that I think will work.”
“The House of Fourteen have been trying on our behalf,” Rory related.
“Not that I asked for their help,” Chief Dag cut in.
Sophia ignored the angry giant and focused on her friend. “The House of Fourteen has a lot of resources, but I think I have something I can employ that they don’t have access to. I think I can be successful where the giants and the House of Fourteen haven’t been. If I am, I’ll get a new agreement signed and grant you all access to your fishing territory.”
“If you do, I’ll give my approval to Rory to assist you,” Chief Dag imparted before gazing at Rory. “Then I’ll give you my blessing.”
Sophia smiled, although she was intensely curious about why Rory needed a blessing from the chief. “Well, it appears this has the potential to help all of us. Just think, if we all worked together like this all the time how much easier our lives could be? We operate so separately, but as long as we share this planet, we’ll always be connected one way or another.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
“Thanks for all the hospitality,” Lunis sang to the row of giants wearing brooding looks and watching as he, Sophia, and Rory strode for the cliffs where they entered. The blue dragon waved, really overdoing it. “I’ll have to get your recipe for that pig you were roasting. Was there a spice rub on it?”
When none of the giants responded, Lunis went on. “Smelled like there was a marinade. Or maybe that was the smell of giant sweat mixed with a foreboding sense of oppression I was getting.”
“Think you’re pushing it a bit,” Sophia said to him through clenched teeth. “We’re getting out of here unscathed and with what we wanted. Maybe lay off.”
“What we wanted?” Lunis argued, loud enough for all the giants to hear. “Do you think any of those guys offered me a taste of the pig? After all the entertainment I provided.”
“I think you’re alive despite all the jokes,” Sophia offered.
“I even wiped my feet before I entered the dirt floor camp area.” Lunis looked over his shoulder as they progressed out of the giant’s village. The row of men were all still regarding them with contempt while watching them leave, their bows in their hands, but thankfully not aimed at their back. “Seriously, guys, give me the name of your cleaning person. They do an immaculate job. How they keep the dirt so even and that elegant campfire smell so rich is quite the achievement.”
“Lun, cool it before you make things worse,” Sophia urged.
Rory shook his head. “They won’t do anything because the chief wants your help. Besides, I don’t think he can make it any worse. Giants have a high tolerance for annoyance, having put up with other races for so long. Lunis would have to be at it for a while and be incredibly offensive.”
“Oh, in that case,” Lunis turned and glared at the giants. “You guys are ugly. Like seriously, I’ve laid turds—”
Sophia jumped up, grabbed her dragon by the ear, and yanked his head down, pulling him back the way they were going. “He means see you later. Have a great day.”
“Hope never to see you again,” Lunis sang, wheeling and allowing Sophia to drag him the other way, his head low to the ground, making it easier for her to lead him. “You all wouldn’t know what to do with a good day. You’d probably get mad if things went well and stub all of your toes so you
had something to be sour about.”
Sophia shook her head, releasing Lunis when they were far enough from the giants’ village. “Did you have to be such a pain in the ass back there?”
“Is that a serious question?” Lunis asked, quite seriously.
“A little diplomacy wouldn’t hurt you,” Sophia warned. “We might need to come back here asking for help or something. Burning bridges is never a good idea.”
Rory shook his head. “The giants won’t like Lunis no matter what, so it doesn’t matter.”
“Because of that whole grudge about not getting picked as riders?” Sophia asked.
He nodded.
“See?” Lunis stuck his tongue out at her.
“Real mature.” She rolled her eyes at her dragon before turning her attention to Rory. “The location for the gnomes?”
“I’m not giving it to you,” Rory stated.
She rolled her eyes yet again. “I don’t need it, so there.”
“Sophia, going to their homeland is too dangerous.”
“I’m a dragonrider,” she argued. “Although you’d think that my dragon can’t do anything but offend the natives, he’s capable of much more.”
“It’s true,” Lunis stated. “Check this joke out. The giants hated it. What three things does a short person need to take a bath?”
Sophia’s eyes fluttered with annoyance, but she still said, “What?”
“Floaties, a snorkel, and a lifeguard,” he answered, chuckling.
She deadpanned her reaction.
“Oh, you too!” Lunis protested. “I try tall jokes and the giants don’t laugh, so then I give you all short jokes and still nothing. I don’t even know what to do with all you unreasonable jerks.”
“Try dragon jokes,” Sophia suggested.
He scoffed at her. “There are no jokes about dragons. We’re too awesome. You poor short people, well, there are simply too many ways to make fun of you. Like for instance, where’s the worst place for a short person to stand at a concert?”
