by C J Baty
"You don't have the balls to do it."
Damien hesitated, then remembered Justin's words.
" Carter Preston was...is a sick man. What happened to you should have never happened. He abused your trust and love for him. It does not mean that you won't ever find love, a real honest love again. You've got to let yourself be open to feeling again. If you don't, you're still his prisoner."
With both hands, Damien shoved Carter over the edge and shouted as his body disappeared into the blackness of Damien's dream world. "I am not your prisoner anymore. It's over!"
"Damien, wake up. You're safe. He can't hurt you anymore." Robert's voice was soft and pleading.
Warm arms wrapped Damien in a cocoon of safety. Damien was half sitting in Robert's lap as he rocked them both back and forth. Robert was stroking his hair and, once in a while, left a soft kiss on his forehead. He said Damien's name over and over again. Damien didn't want to leave the shelter of Robert's body, but he had to let him know he was okay.
"I'm awake," Damien said. "I'm awake and I know I'm safe with you."
Robert released his hold on Damien and studied him. "You were yelling and thrashing about. I didn't want you to hurt yourself."
"Thank you, but I'm all right now. I was having a dream about Carter, but the outcome was different than my past dreams of him. It had a good ending."
Damien pushed Robert back into the couch and straddled his lap.
Damien ran his fingers slowly over Robert's face, touching and memorizing each line and shadow there, from his brows to his lips. Cupping the sides of Robert's face, Damien leaned forward and kissed him. Hesitantly at first, because he could feel the tension in Robert's body. When Robert's shoulders relaxed and his hands wrapped around Damien's waist to pull him closer, Damien deepened the kiss, pouring more urgency into the connection of their bodies. Robert opened his lips to moan and Damien slipped his tongue inside.
The taste of mint only added to the flavor Damien was savoring. Robert's sweet gentleness poured into Damien, filling all those dark places where he had been afraid to go since Carter. Damien could feel the light seep in as Robert's hands roamed his body and his kiss washed away all the nightmares. This was so much more than Damien had ever felt, he thought his heart might burst from the emotions he was experiencing. When Robert stopped the kiss, Damien ached. He groaned his complaint.
Robert chuckled. "You weren't breathing. I'm surprised you aren't seeing spots."
Damien looked at him, confused.
"I didn't want to stop, but I couldn't feel you breathing." Robert's face glowed. "I didn't want you passing out on me."
Damien leaned forward for another kiss, grinding his hard length down against Robert's obvious erection. He didn't want to stop and he wasn't going to. He would make Robert shut up and do as he said.
"I want you."
He kissed Robert softly.
"I need you."
Damien kissed him again.
"Damien, are you—"
Kiss
Smiling wickedly, Damien said, "Looks like I will have to shut you up."
Sliding down from Robert's lap to the floor, Damien pressed Robert's legs apart. He pulled on the waistband of Robert's pants, tugging them out of the way. Robert touched his chin, lifting Damien's face upward.
"Damien, you don't have to do this."
"I want to do this, so will you just relax?"
Robert didn't say another word as Damien licked the head of his cock and then sucked it into his mouth. It was hot and thick and everything Damien needed at the moment. He'd forgotten how much he enjoyed doing this with someone who cared for him, and Damien knew Robert cared.
"Oh god, Damien." Robert's hips thrust up, but Damien loved it.
He sucked harder on Robert's length, letting his lips slide up and down as he tongued the sensitive underside of the crown. Cupping Robert's heavy balls, he squeezed gently as he continued to draw more and more guttural moans and curses from his man.
Yes, his man. Robert would be his. Not in the way Carter had dominated and abused him but in the way two people committed to each other should be.
Robert was his and he was Robert's. That thought alone caused a fever of desire to overtake Damien. He'd never felt this way about anyone before.
"Damien, too close. I'm going to...."
Damien didn't want him to come this way. He let Robert's cock slip from his mouth; then he stood between his legs.
"Come on," Damien pulled Robert up off the couch to the thick rug lying in front of the fireplace. Robert smiled at Damien as he grabbed pillows off the couches and threw them on the rug. Together, they built a comfortable place for them to share their bodies.
"Supplies?" Damien asked.
"Bedroom side table," Robert answered.
Damien hurried to the bedroom and gathered what they would need. He was carrying the lube and a string of seven or eight condoms when the sight of Robert stopped him. Robert was lying back with his head on the pillows, completely naked. He was stroking his cock with slow, even movements as Damien approached. Suddenly, he laughed out, his entire body shaking. His cock bobbed when he let it go.
"Planning on making up for lost time?" Robert asked, pointing at the condoms.
Damien looked at the items in his hand and he laughed too. "I guess I should have been a boy scout! Always be prepared."
He lay down beside Robert, keeping the supplies close at hand. More kissing was what he needed, and more touching, and just more of Robert.
Damien used the lube to stretch and prepare Robert. The man turned him on with every word and groan he made. His own cock was painfully hard and leaking.
"Don't want to wait any longer." Robert panted. "Need you, Damien. Now."
"I need you too," Damien said as he opened a condom and rolled it on.
Robert picked up the lube and used some of it to slick Damien's covered erection.
"God, Robert, don't touch me. I'll come just like this."
Robert stopped. "I want you in me when that happens." His eyes burned with open, wanton desire.
Neither man was a virgin. The physical joining of bodies was nothing new for either one of them, but the emotional joining was something new for Damien. He relished in it. Something about being this deep inside Robert filled Damien with more passion and longing than any sexual experience he'd ever had. If he never had sex again, this one time had shown Damien how making love with another human being felt. If this was love, Damien was flying higher than he'd ever been.
Robert's own passion and depth of feeling showed on his face and in those expressive eyes that Damien loved. His hair fanned out across the pillows, giving him an angelic appearance. His powerful muscles bunched and flexed as he moved in time with Damien. It was both heaven and hell to feel this much desire coursing through his body. Damien needed to come, and holding back was the fine edge between pain and ecstasy, but he wouldn't go over that edge without Robert. He took hold of Robert's cock and began to pump it in rhythm with the movements of their bodies. Time stopped as nothing but the two of them existed for Damien. Then Damien felt the squeeze as Robert's internal muscles contracted, and Robert shouted as he came. His warm semen poured over and dripped down Damien's hand.
That was all it took for Damien to join Robert in that moment. It felt like his body was splitting into pieces, spreading out in the room around them. He didn't black out or see stars, but he saw a future where he would have this every day. This powerful, emotional-filled joy of sharing himself so completely with another person: Robert Wyler.
Sometime later, after Robert had got up, cleaned the remnants of their lovemaking off his body and taken away the used condom, they lay intertwined in front of the fire, blankets piled over their naked bodies.
Neither of them had spoken and Damien was almost afraid to break the sweetness that surrounded them by saying anything.
"Damien," Robert said.
"Yes."
"What was this all about?" Robert
asked. "Don't misunderstand. It was more than wonderful." He left a kiss on Damien's temple as reassurance.
"I haven't been fair, Robert, I know that," Damien answered. "It's taken me a while to get my mind cleared of some things."
"And, now?"
"Now, I know what I want but I'm still fighting to make myself believe I deserve it."
Damien turned over to lie on his stomach. Resting his weight on his elbows, he looked into Robert's eyes. Those eyes which didn't judge but gazed at Damien curiously. Damien could see patience and love, now that he knew what they looked like.
"You will have to be patient with me. Change will not come overnight, or after one amazing sexual encounter, but I'm willing to work on it," Damien said, kissing Robert's stomach. The skin fluttered under his lips.
"You're working on the amazing sexual encounter? I don't know that I can take it, if sex gets any more amazing." Robert caressed Damien's cheek and smiled. "I can be patient, Damien. Loving someone means being patient."
The words were like a spring rain washing over Damien's soul. Someone loved him, and he loved them back, even if Damien couldn't say the words yet.
The rest of the night the two of them touched and kissed and explored new ways to give each other pleasure. Damien wasn't ready to let Robert top him, but deep down, he knew he'd want it someday. Time was what they needed. Time to build on what they had started tonight. Time to make this encounter into a lifetime relationship.
Chapter Nineteen
Sleep had come in increments of time. An hour here. A half hour there.
Robert couldn't stop wanting Damien now that he had him. It was like being in his twenties again. There was no way Robert would let a moment pass them by. Being with Damien this way was more than Robert had ever hoped for. Was it possible to build this one night into an amazing life? Robert knew they could, if only Damien would let it happen.
The man who had stolen Robert's heart was sleeping beside him, curled up on the pillow. Damien's mouth was slightly open and a soft snore escaped.
They had moved to the bedroom just before dawn, and now the sun was up and shining down on the mounds of snow outside the bedroom window. The snow was blinding in its brightness and brought a smile to Robert's face.
Damien moaned and turned on his side. His morning wood pressed against Robert's thigh, and Damien groaned.
Robert was exhausted from the times they had shared each other during the night, but the sight of Damien's body caused his own cock to stir and harden. Would he ever be able to look at Damien and not want him? Robert didn't think so.
Robert took Damien's member in his hand and stroked it tenderly. It twitched at Robert's touch, and Damien huffed out a deep breath. Robert knew the instant Damien woke, though he didn't open his eyes.
"You will be the death of me," Damien whispered as he moved closer to Robert.
"Nope. Not going to happen, but then, what a way to go." Robert chuckled as he realigned their bodies. He needed to be closer to Damien.
"You... ah... Robert you shouldn't... never mind... that feels so... good."
Robert's heart warmed at the sight of Damien falling apart from his touch.
"Can't remember the last time I had... woke up to this. Please... don't stop."
Robert had no intention of stopping until Damien's release rushed from his body.
A few moments later, Damien's eyes opened widely and his mouth formed an
' O ' as his body trembled and a warm gush spilled over Robert's hand.
Damien's face radiated his satisfaction and Robert's heart leapt.
"Does it have to be so bright?" Damien asked as he shielded his eyes from the sunlight playing on the snow. They had lain in bed a while longer, enjoying the peace that followed Damien's release, and then fell asleep again.
"Good morning to you. Well, good afternoon anyway. It's after three," Robert answered as he rose from the bed and shivered. The room was icy cold.
Robert hadn't noticed the cool air until he moved away from Damien's body.
"Stay in bed under the covers. Something's wrong with the furnace." Robert grabbed a pair of jeans and pulled them on. "I'll see what's going on."
The thermostat read fifty-eight, and that was clear from the chill in the air as Robert made his way to check things out. When he flipped the kitchen light switch, nothing happened. All the electric to the cabin was out. Why hadn't the generator kicked on when that had happened?
"What's going on? Why is it so cold in here?" Damien mumbled from under the covers.
"The electric is out. It's probably a downed wire from all the additional snowfall over night. Problem is, the generator didn't kick in, and it should have. I'll get dressed, build a fire in the living room and go check out the generator." Robert leaned over Damien and kissed him. "Stay here. I'll call for you when the fire is lit."
An hour later, the fire was roaring and Damien cuddled on the couch under several blankets. Robert found an old cast iron pot that he poured canned soup into and warmed in the fireplace. He also made two peanut butter sandwiches.
"Can't say I've ever had such a gourmet meal. Good thing the cook is so hot,"
Damien said. He bit into the sandwich and made a big show of chewing it like it tasted awful.
Robert stared for a moment, then laughed.
"You can't fool me anymore, Mr. Fitzgerald," Robert said as he kissed Damien. He smeared peanut butter from his own sandwich on Damien's lips, then sucked them clean. "All that sarcasm doesn't bother me one bit. Eat up, fancy boy. You need to keep your strength up for later tonight." Robert winked at Damien's surprised look. "I'm going to go check out the generator.
The lights and furnace may kick on and off, but that's normal. I'll be back as soon as I can."
Robert's mind raced as he made his way out to the shed. How could this have happened? Damien Fitzgerald and Robert Wyler? No one would have ever expected such a pairing, least of all Robert. He was in love. Robert felt
the smile broaden across his face and he laughed into the cold air. His breath puffed out before him as he went. Robert shivered and thought, he should have put on his heavy coat.
The snow was heavier than the radio stations had predicted. There was at least twelve inches on the ground already and it was still coming down.
There was ice hanging on the electrical wires connected to the house, so if the snow and ice were this bad down the mountain, that would explain the electric being out. Whatever the problem with the generator, though, it needed fixing, and he needed to get back to Damien. Thankfully, there was still some daylight left. Robert didn't want to be out here after dark with the snow falling this heavy. Of course, he knew the way back to the cabin by heart, but in the dark, with a blanket of snow to block his vision, he could easily get turned around.
The door to the shed was open when Robert reached it. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. Robert knew he had shut that door when he left after starting the generator when they first arrived. After years of weather beating on the small building, the door had warped and you had to pull on it hard to close it. It wouldn't just swing open by itself. Robert pushed the door wider and peered inside. Seeing the flashlight he had left sitting in its usual spot, Robert picked it up and turned it on. He shone the light around the interior of the small building. Nothing looked out of place.
The generator sat over an open grate, where it got plenty of ventilation though it wasn't left exposed to the elements. The skylight was propped open at the right angle, letting in fresh air but no snow. Robert relaxed and took a deep breath. That's when the odor of gasoline hit him.
Robert examined the top of the generator and everything looked fine, so where was the danged thing leaking fuel? He hit the prime button, waited five seconds then pulled out the choke and tugged the cord. It rattled and sputtered, then purred to life. Standing up, Robert was still eyeing the floor for the spilled fuel when the generator chugged to a stop.
"Shit."
Wh
atever was wrong, it was happening on the bottom of the generator. He got down on his hands and knees to examine the underside of the damned thing, where it sat on the open grate. Flashlight in hand, Robert got to work checking the fuel line. It only took a moment to find the slash in the tubing where gas had leaked out. He'd need something to patch up that cut, to get the thing going again. The door to the shed banged against the sidewall, rattling the building. Robert jumped at the sound and dropped the flashlight through the grate below the generator.
"Damn it, Damien, I told you to wait in the cabin," Robert said as he rolled over to sit up. His eyes landed on a hooded figure standing in the fading light coming through the open door.
"Oh, he's waiting all right." The hooded figure raised a shovel over his head, then said, "But it won't be you he sees coming for him."
The shovel came down and Robert barely had time to swivel away. He pivoted to the left, away from the generator. In the tiny shed, the impact of the shovel hitting the floor next to Robert created a loud bang. The hooded figure swung again and Robert backed up. Too late, he realized he had nowhere to go in such a confined space. He moved so that the generator was between him and the man still swinging the shovel in his direction. His next step was the one he shouldn't have taken.
Robert walked into the extra container of gasoline he kept in the shed, knocking it over. Its contents spread over the floor and he slipped, hitting his shoulder on the generator. He dropped on the ground, looking up into the face of the hooded man. In disbelief, he stared back at his attacker just as the shovel contacted the side of his head. Stars exploded before his eyes and the last words he heard were, "He's mine!"
He was cold and wet and smelled like gasoline. He was still seeing stars too.
It took a few moments for Robert to realize they were real stars this time.
The snow had stopped falling and the black sky was lit with a million twinkling beams of light. He was lying in a mound of snow far from the generator shed. Tugging at his hands, ropes cut into his wrists. His feet were trussed as well and his boots gone. The temperature had dropped. It was much colder now. Robert knew, without his boots, wet and left like this, he wouldn't make it through the night. He'd freeze to death before morning.
