by Jackie D.
Michelle touched her arm, effectively dragging her out of her internal monologue. “You okay? She followed her line of sight. “You know Casper Thorne?”
Audrey didn’t want to reveal too much, even to her old friend. “I’m friends with his sister. I’m just confused as to why he’s here; he’s supposed to be on tour.”
“Isn’t Harlow Thorne performing at the People’s Choice Awards in a few days? Maybe he’s here to make sure everything is set up for that.”
Audrey nodded. “I’m sure you’re right.”
Casper had every reason to be in town with the award show coming up, but Audrey couldn’t quite shake the feeling that something was off. He didn’t look like a guy having a friendly lunch with his friends, or even just someone having a quick business chat. He looked frustrated, and his leg bounced nervously.
She’d been trying to study him without looking suspicious as she continued her conversation with Michelle. Apparently, she’d sucked at it, since he approached their table.
Casper closed one of the two buttons on his jacket and leaned down slightly. “Audrey, how nice to see you.” He gave Michelle a tight smile.
The last thing she wanted Casper to think was that she was on a lunch date of some kind, so she introduced Michelle before anything else was said. “Casper, this is my friend Michelle Fleming. Michelle, this is my friend Casper Thorne. We were discussing a potential upcoming project.”
The muscles in his jaw relaxed slightly, and he put his hand out. “Michelle, it’s nice to meet you.” He shook his finger at her. “You worked on Bad Blood, right?”
Michelle smiled. “That’s right. That’s how Audrey and I met. I was the producer. I assume you’re Harlow Thorne’s brother?”
“What gave it away?” Casper deployed his most charismatic smile, and Audrey saw how women would easily fall all over themselves to be on the receiving end of it.
Michelle sipped her drink and crossed her leg. “Besides your last name?” She pointed at him. “You and Harlow have identical eyes. They’re hard to miss. I’m not sure there’s actually a name for that color blue.”
“We get that a lot,” Casper said.
“Do you want to have a drink with us?” Michelle eyed the seat next to her.
Casper checked his watch. “I’d love to, but I have to be over at the Microsoft Theater in about thirty minutes. It was lovely to meet you, though.” He shook Michelle’s hand again and turned his attention toward Audrey. “I’ll be seeing you in a few days.” He leaned down and kissed Audrey’s cheek.
He walked away, and Michelle fanned herself. “Jesus. It’s not often that a man makes me turn my head. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband, but he’s gorgeous.”
“Yeah, the whole family just oozes sex. It’s a bit unfair,” Audrey said.
Michelle raised an eyebrow. “Do they, now?”
Audrey sipped her water, wanting to hide her smile and the blush she knew was forming on her face. “Oh, come on, I’m not the only one to make that proclamation.”
Michelle smiled. “Can’t argue with that.”
Audrey thought Michelle might push a bit more, but she didn’t. They finished their drinks and set an appointment to meet next week and discuss the project. Excitement about the possibilities made her giddy. This project could be the start of the next phase of her career, and she would get to see Harlow soon. She’d been trying to keep everything in perspective, but it was hard not to feel like everything was lining up perfectly.
* * *
Harlow listened to the crowd as the small lift lowered her under the stage. She’d finished her finale and had introduced the band, but the crowd was still screaming her name. The stadium was roaring, and her adrenaline was still pumping hard.
Shauna grabbed her and hugged her when she got off the lift. “That was amazing.” She kissed Harlow’s cheek. “Thank you for letting me close the show with you. I’ve never felt anything like that.”
Harlow took the towel and water handed to her. “I’d tell you that you get used to it, but I’d be lying.”
Harlow waited for her dancers to come down and hugged each of them when they passed. She was eternally grateful for their contributions to the show. They made it so much more than just live music—it was a production, and they made her look good.
Harlow’s tour assistant led her back to the dressing room. There were flowers and gifts all over the room, but she was only interested in finding her cell phone. She picked it up and clicked the call button.
“Hey, there.” Audrey’s voice was low and sleepy.
“Did I wake you?”
Audrey chuckled. “You know I don’t care if you wake me. I’ll talk to you whenever I get the chance. How was the show?”
Harlow smiled and tried not to sigh into the phone. “It went great. I brought Shauna out on stage with me for the final set. She loved it.”
“I bet she did. That’s a big opportunity for her.”
“I miss you,” Harlow said.
“Just a few more days, and I’ll let you kiss me three times.”
Harlow loved that Audrey was counting down the days. She’d started the practice as soon as she’d left for Portland, and it made her feel less out of her mind to know Audrey was doing the same.
Harlow smiled. “Just three?”
“You’ll have to earn the others, superstar.”
The wardrobe director walked into the dressing room. “We need your outfit, Ms. Thorne.”
Harlow sighed. “I have to go.”
“Harlow?” Audrey waited. “I miss you too.”
“Night.”
Harlow hit the end button and pulled off her outfit with the help of wardrobe. It was a complicated piece with a million sequins. It would need to be checked before the next show. If anything was broken, there was a team to fix it. There was someone readily available to do everything for her on tour if need be. It was a surreal feeling, and one she still wasn’t accustomed to.
With a sigh of relief, she changed into her yoga pants and pulled on her sweatshirt. She put her hair back and stared at herself in the mirror. The transformation back into a normal person was complete. Thirty minutes ago, there had been tens of thousands of people screaming her name, and now she looked like someone leaving a gym—alone.
Harlow was escorted to a vehicle waiting at the back of the stadium. The car was quiet, and she looked out the window at the people still lingering around the stadium. They were laughing, hugging, and seemed to be having a good time. She loved being able to give them the experience, but the contrast was stark. She wanted someone to share in the excitement with her, but that wasn’t possible.
It was the same at the hotel. She was slipped in through the back by private security, escorted to a special elevator, and brought to her room where she found herself alone again. She showered and went to sit by the expansive window that looked out over the city. It took hours for the energy she absorbed from the show to subside, and it hadn’t yet.
She could slip out and go to a dive bar. She’d be able to blend in. She could have some normal human contact, if even for a few hours. But she stayed rooted in her chair because she knew it wasn’t true. There was a trade-off for doing what she loved to do, and that was solitude. She never dared to voice these thoughts because she knew how it would sound. She would sound ungrateful, spoiled, and whiney. She was lucky, and very few ever achieved the level of fame she’d reached. But none of that changed how alone she felt at times. If Casper was away, there was no one else.
Audrey. What would Audrey think of her isolated life? Audrey had people she kept close. She had friends. She’d managed to not wall herself off from everyone and everything completely. They lived in the same kind of world, yet Harlow hadn’t managed any of the vulnerability. It was easy to blame her parents. They’d inflicted a significant amount of damage on both Casper and her. But was that really fair? They were grown-ups now. They chose their lives. But the fear of getting hurt was very real. Wheneve
r she considered the worst-case scenario, Harlow remembered what it was like to be a little girl. She’d hide in her room for hours practicing on her old guitar and keyboard. She’d drown herself in her music to not deal with reality. What if she was still doing that? What if she was using music to shield her from anything real?
Her phone rang, pulling her from her morbid internal reflection. “Hey, Casper.”
“I knew you’d still be awake. How was the show?”
“Everything went perfectly. It was a great crowd.” She slid her finger against the rain-covered window.
“You always do great. I’m sorry I missed it.”
“That’s okay. You had to be in LA,” she said.
“You ready to come home for a few days?”
She wanted to tell him that she was excited to see Audrey. They’d never kept anything from each other, but that was changing. She didn’t want to hear the analysis of the benefits and the risks. She was protective of their growing feelings, and she didn’t want to open it to the ridicule of anyone.
“Yeah, the People’s Choice Awards is always a good time.”
“I’m still your date, right?”
Harlow sighed. “Of course. I would’ve told you if the plans had changed.”
“Okay. I was just checking.” He was quiet for a beat. “Everything okay?”
She smiled, hoping it would reflect in her voice. “Definitely. I’m just finally starting to get tired. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She hung up and tucked herself into bed. She might be alone tonight, but tomorrow she’d be in bed with Audrey. The thought was enough to let her smile as she drifted off to sleep.
Chapter Twenty-one
Mom, you look beautiful. Stop messing with your dress.” Audrey smacked her mom’s hand for the third time since they’d gotten into the limo.
“I’m not messing. I’m adjusting.” Her mom ran her hand down her leg another time. “You know I get nervous at these things.”
“Well, you look flawless.” Audrey squeezed her mom’s hand. “I’ll be there with you the whole time.”
Her mom laughed. “It’s you that’s up for two awards, not me. I don’t know what I’m going on about. How are you feeling? Are you nervous?”
Audrey stared out the window at the line of cars forming. She was excited about being nominated for Favorite Movie Actress and Favorite Face of Heroism, but she could barely control her excitement about seeing Harlow. The anticipation sparked through her, fraying her nerve endings.
“Not at all. I genuinely like everyone in my categories,” Audrey said.
Her mom squeezed her hand. “Your cheeks are flushed, and your breathing is erratic. If it’s not about the awards, could it possibly be because you’re going to see someone tonight?”
Audrey noticed she was chewing on her lip and stopped herself, not wanting to ruin her lipstick. “We haven’t interacted in public since this all started. What if she doesn’t like me anymore? What if she doesn’t want to be seen with me after the show? What if it just gets…weird?”
Her mom chuckled. “My goodness, you get so wrapped up in the thought of Harlow Thorne, you forget you’re Audrey Knox.” She kissed her cheek. “You’re worth the risk, my dear. If she doesn’t feel the same, that’s her loss.”
The limo came to a stop, and a man in a black tuxedo pulled the car door open. The reporters went quiet for a second, waiting to see who would exit the car. She gave her mom a final smile, hoping it implied the gratitude she felt. Audrey grabbed the usher’s hand and stepped out of the limo into an array of flashing lights and questions being shouted from every direction.
She looked over to make sure her mom had been escorted off to the side before she made her walk down the red carpet. Most of the questions were about her dress. The designer had used her latest character as inspiration. The tight black leather, accentuated by perfectly placed silver zippers, gave her ensemble the appearance of battle gear. She’d loved it as soon as she’d seen it, and she knew her fans would feel the same way.
The red carpet line moved quickly, and it wasn’t until she was almost near the end that she heard the crowd erupt with excitement. Very few celebrities could garner that kind of universal furor, and Harlow Thorne was at the top of that list.
Her pulse quickened, and just the thought of her being nearby made her skin tingle. She slowed her pace, letting the photographers at the end of the line get more time than she typically would’ve allotted. Harlow was wearing a form-fitting white tuxedo with a plunging shimmering silver top. She looked magnificent, and Audrey couldn’t look away.
Harlow finally looked down to the end of the carpet and made eye contact with Audrey. A slight smile formed on her lips as she turned for the cameras to catch her at every angle. The entire world faded into the background as she watched Harlow move, totally at ease with the cameras and crowds.
Her mom grabbed her hand, pulling her from the moment, and they moved into the theater. Attendees were mingling, drinking champagne, and ignoring the snacks that floated around on small silver trays. No one ever ate at these things. Getting something stuck in your teeth would be a nightmare. Audrey grabbed two of the glasses and handed one to her mom.
“Did you see Harlow?” Her mom spoke into her glass.
Audrey sipped on her champagne. “How could I miss her? She looks phenomenal.”
“So do you, honey. The dress highlights the post-apocalyptic theme, but you look much better without the blood all over your face.”
Audrey laughed. “Thanks, Mom.”
“I don’t know, I kind of preferred her with the blood on her face.”
Audrey recognized the voice and tried not to roll her eyes. “Hello, Tia,” she said but continued to look at her mom.
“You look great tonight, Audrey.” Tia squeezed between them.
“Thank you.” Audrey knew Tia was waiting for her to comment on her appearance, but she wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.
“So, two awards and presenting tonight. That’s a big deal.” Tia clearly ignored Audrey’s lack of interest in the conversation.
“She’s a shoo-in for both,” Harlow said from behind them.
Audrey loved the warmth Harlow’s voice sent through her body. “Harlow Thorne,” Audrey said as she turned to face her. “Finally made it through the gauntlet, I see.”
“Mrs. Knox, you look fantastic tonight.” Harlow hugged her mom.
“Oh, stop. Also, I told you to call me Kathy.” Her mom held on to Harlow’s arms. “But you look breathtaking. I’m not sure anyone has ever looked as good in a suit as you do tonight.”
Harlow eyed Tia and put her hand out to introduce herself. “I’m Harlow. It’s nice to meet you.”
Tia took her hand. “Tia Perkins. I’m Audrey’s friend.”
Audrey coughed slightly on her champagne. The audacity. Audrey was aware of all the eyes aimed in their direction—no doubt because everyone knew their romantic history. She slipped into acting mode and smiled at Tia. She made sure to place her hands at her sides instead of across her chest, not wanting to give off the impression that she was defensive.
Tia looked as if she would say something when her mom slid her arm through Tia’s. “Tia, tell me about your latest project while we hunt down some more champagne.”
“It was nice to meet you, Harlow. Audrey, call me. I’d love to meet up this weekend,” Tia said, as she finally allowed Kathy to pull her away.
Audrey turned to look at Harlow. “I’m not going out with her this weekend. Or any weekend. Ever.”
Harlow smiled and allowed the back of her hand to brush gently against Audrey’s. “I know. Tia Perkins doesn’t intimidate me.”
Audrey hadn’t been this close to Harlow in several weeks. She’d spent hours daydreaming about being near her again. She’d thought about touching her, kissing her, tasting her skin. Now that she was so close, it took all she had to adhere to their agreement not to out themselves in public just yet.
“I l
ove you in a tux, by the way.” Audrey made sure to let her eyes linger over Harlow a little longer to ensure the meaning of what she was saying wasn’t lost.
Harlow took a small step closer, and Audrey shuddered at the breath on her ear. “I haven’t been able to take my eyes off you since I got out of the car.”
The lights started blinking, indicating they needed to get to their seats. Audrey didn’t want to go into the show. She didn’t care about the awards. She didn’t care about anything but being near Harlow. That choice, however, was taken from them as one of the show’s ushers approached.
“Ms. Knox, Ms. Thorne, please take your seats.”
Audrey forced herself to swallow. “I’ll see you in a bit then. Good luck tonight.”
Harlow pressed against her fingers with a little more force. “You too.”
Audrey forced herself to step away and find her mom to get to their seats. She stopped periodically to shake hands with people, but she was keenly aware of where Harlow was the whole time. One row ahead of her and three seats to the left. She briefly wondered as the lights dimmed for the opening performance if she would ever be seated beside her.
* * *
Harlow fixed the strap on her outfit as she waited for the host to introduce her. The stage director held up her fingers, indicating she had two minutes until performance time. The dancers moved behind her, joking and doing a few last-minute stretches. Harlow was trying to get in her zone. She needed to transform into who the public perceived her to be.
She heard the presenter announce her name, and the theater started cheering. One of the reasons she loved this particular awards show was because they gave tickets to fans. There were several beats of silence, allowing the fans’ excitement to permeate the theater. She could picture them at the stage edge screaming, and the adrenaline jump she was always ready for flushed her system.
The theater was dark until the spotlights started thumping along with the base beat of her song. The curtain came up, and her dancers ran out on stage. They contorted themselves into different positions, mimicking the intensity of the music. She sang a brief “oh” into the microphone to ensure the ear monitor was working correctly. Then the full light show started, and she came into the first verse.
