by Adam O'Neill
4.Bring to mind the thing about this person that you admire. Why do you admire this characteristic? Is it unique to this person? Why do you view it as valuable?
5.Over the next several minutes, hold in mind this sense of admiration. How does it make you feel? What thoughts accompany this feeling? How does focusing on this positive attribute shift your overall perception of this person?
6.You aren’t trying to actively think of anything, force a feeling, or even answer these questions in a direct way. Rather, you’re offering this prompt to your mind and observing, passively, without judgment or attachment, the thoughts and emotions that follow.
7.After you’ve completed this meditation, notice whether your interactions with this person start to feel different. By becoming more attuned to a mind-set of appreciation and admiration, your communications with the person may improve.
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GETTING REAL 5 TO 10 MINUTES
As humans, we are easily distracted by what’s bright and shiny—new people, new material things, or interesting opportunities. Social media companies and online retailers craftily exploit this weakness every day. We are constantly bombarded with hundreds of advertising messages and images, many of which catch our attention and lure us to click. The chatter of our internal minds has a similar grip on us, yanking us in different directions, telling us what to do and what to think about. Just as the perfectly filtered messages online appear truer than they actually are, so do our thoughts and experiences. In this meditation, you will look past the superficial layers of the world and explore the core substance by asking the simple yet profound question What is real?.
1.Find a comfortable seated position. You can sit cross-legged on a cushion on the floor or in a chair. Sit up straight, but don’t force perfect posture.
2.Soften your gaze or close your eyes.
3.Take 7 deep breaths. On each exhale, release tension from your body, starting with your head and working your way down to your feet and toes. You are totally calm and completely awake.
4.Allow your breath to return to a natural rhythm.
5.For the next several minutes, maintain an awareness of your breath.
6.In your mind, ask yourself the question What is real? You are not seeking definitive answers or insights. You’re simply asking the question.
7.As you stay with this question, your brain will want to propose some answers. Acknowledge these answers but let them pass. Then notice your breathing. Is that real? Notice the sensations in your body. Are they real? Again, you are not trying to actually answer the question. You are simply asking it and being receptive to all that occurs in each moment spent with it.
8.Although it may seem strange to pose a question without forming an answer, you’re actually shifting your relationship with your brain from one in which all thoughts trigger actions, emotions, or more thoughts to one in which you remain in the moment.
9.If thoughts, emotions, or external distractions arise, acknowledge them and let them go without judgment or attachment. Return to the question What is real?
10.As you continue about your day, allow this question to serve as an instantaneous cue, a tiny meditation that brings you back into the present moment whenever your analytical mind tries to take over.
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GIVE IT AWAY 5 TO 10 MINUTES
Simple acts of generosity can have as much positive impact on the giver as the receiver. Yet many of us spend most of our time and energy trying to “get” and very little trying to “give.” In this meditation, you’ll focus on the concept of generosity. How can you be more generous with your time, your attention, your material possessions, and your money and with your words, thoughts, and actions as they relate to other people? How can you be more generous with yourself? You can approach this meditation as a reflective internal meditation or as a writing meditation. The objective is to stay close to the mind-set of generosity.
1.Begin by finding a comfortable seated position. You can sit cross-legged on a cushion on the floor or in a chair. If you are planning to do a writing meditation, have a pen and some paper near you.
2.Soften your gaze or gently close your eyes.
3.Take a deep slow inhale through your nose, and let out all the air with a big sigh through your mouth. Repeat 3 times.
4.Allow your breath to return to its natural rhythm and bring your awareness to the flow of each inhale and exhale. Release any lingering thoughts from your mind.
5.Allow the concept of generosity to fill your mind and body. What is generosity? Where does it come from? How does it feel to be generous? How have you been generous in your life? Watch what arises in your mind.
6.Become curious about what comes up for you. Begin identifying ways you’d like to be more generous, and take note of areas of your life in which you are already quite generous. Rather than judging yourself or the generosity of others, remain curious about what generosity is and how it feels. If you are writing, let the words flow freely.
7.Stay with this exploration of generosity. Avoid gripping onto any one notion or seeking any clear answers. Simply explore. Allow thoughts to arise, acknowledge them, and let them go.
8.If you find your mind wandering, come back to your breath and focus on the simple idea of generosity. Consider the generosity implicit in breathing—in the release of oxygen by plants and in the use of that oxygen by your cells to keep everything running.
9.Consider generosity part of the cycle of passing energy and resources from one being to another. Reflect on this generosity on both a small and a large scale.
10.Remember that meditation is an act of generosity to yourself.
TIP: After you complete this meditation, try bringing more generosity into your life. Sign up to volunteer, donate to charity, or share relevant knowledge or skills with people who need them. Give of your time, energy, money, or things with no expectations and without caveats. You’ll feel great.
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EXPERT IN BEING YOU 10 MINUTES
Have you ever stopped to consider that there is no one else in the world who knows you as well as you do? We are so often overcome by regrets or hopes or the ways we want to change that we don’t give ourselves enough credit for how much we know about ourselves right now. Meditation affords you the opportunity to deepen your self-knowledge. Chances are that you already know more about yourself than you realize. In this meditation, hold in mind the confidence that you know yourself better than anyone else and the power that confidence gives you in building the life you want and deserve.
1.Find a comfortable seated position. You can sit cross-legged on a cushion on the floor or in a chair. Sit up straight, but don’t force perfect posture.
2.Soften your gaze or gently close your eyes.
3.Take several deep breaths.
4.Allow your breathing to return to its natural rhythm and bring your attention to a specific place where you feel the sensation of your breath.
5.In your head or softly out loud, repeat the following phrases: I know myself. I am an expert in me. What does it mean to know myself?
6.Over the next several minutes—without seeking insight, searching for specific answers, or defining what comes to mind—give your attention to the feeling of knowing and understanding yourself on the deepest level.
7.Notice any thoughts that try to disrupt your focus or make you doubt your knowledge of self. Remember that you do know yourself—better than anyone else. Remember that meditation is a way to deepen this understanding.
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DON’T KEEP GOING 5 MINUTES
The ability to face adversity is a valuable life skill, as is committing to seeing things to their conclusion. But feeling wrought with stress and anxiety through the process is neither necessary nor healthy. Meditation encourages us to pause this “keep going” attitude in order to find some calm and relief from the daily grind. In this meditation you will explore the space between doing and pausing. For many of us, our ambition causes stress. But it doesn’t have to be that
way.
1.Find a comfortable seated position. You can sit cross-legged on a cushion on the floor or in a chair. Sit up straight, but don’t force perfect posture. This practice also works well as a walking meditation.
2.Soften your gaze or gently close your eyes.
3.Without changing or controlling your breath, bring your attention to it. Identify a specific sensation, perhaps at the tip of your nose, roof of your mouth, top of your chest, or back of your sternum, where the breath feels pleasant.
4.In your head or softly out loud, repeat the following phrases: I am capable. I am calm. I am confident. I am relaxed.
5.For the next 5 minutes, continue to slowly repeat these phrases.
6.If you find your mind is wandering, pause and return to your breath.
7.Keep your focus on these phrases, staying completely present with the rhythm and meaning of your words.
8.The purpose of this meditation, like all meditations, is to cultivate an awareness of the present moment. Stay in the moment—free from striving, free from grit. Remain present. Observe how the meaning of the words affects your emotional state.
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FORGIVENESS 10 TO 20 MINUTES
Much of the stress and anxiety we carry is related to our relationships with other people and our relationship with ourselves, particularly around events and experiences that happened in the past. Given that the past is the past, and there is nothing that can change it, forgiveness is a powerful and underutilized tool for living a more fulfilled life in the present moment. In this practice, you are going to grant yourself—and those who have let you down in the past—complete and total forgiveness, without conditions or expectations.
1.Find a comfortable seated position. You can sit cross-legged on a cushion on the floor or in a chair. Sit up straight, but don’t force perfect posture.
2.Extend upward through the top of your head.
3.Soften your gaze or gently close your eyes.
4.Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose and let it all out through your mouth with an “ahhh” sound. Repeat 4 times. Think about lengthening your spine on each inhale and releasing all tension from the body on each exhale.
5.Allow your mind to be clear: absent of worry, free of thoughts.
6.Let your breath return to a natural rhythm and follow each inhale and exhale for several breaths. You can return to this point at any time in the practice.
7.Begin to explore the feeling of forgiveness. Forgive yourself for the mistakes that nag you. Forgive yourself for letting them nag you. Forgive anyone in your life for whom you harbor resentment, disappointment, or anger. In your mind and body, experience the sensation of total, unconditional forgiveness.
8.What does it feel like to completely forgive? Does the negativity, the stress, the resentment, or the tightness start to diminish? Do they dissolve completely?
9.From a mind-set of forgiveness, see if each breath feels freer and more relaxing.
10.Stay with this feeling of forgiveness. Explore the many people or circumstances you can forgive. Explore the feelings that come with doing so. Do you feel clarity and comfort? Do you feel a twinge of fear, of vulnerability? Is there any resistance to actually letting go of these feelings you’ve held onto?
11.Through the rest of this meditation, return to your breath when you find your mind start to intrude. Try to stay with the feeling of total forgiveness.
12.See if this feeling stays with you through the rest of your day, or even longer.
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WHAT TRULY MATTERS 20 MINUTES
We tend to believe that many things in life are extremely important, and we act accordingly—reacting to this, reacting to that, running through our days tending everything we decide is urgent. In this meditation, you’ll explore what happens to your state of mind when you temporarily mute your automatic beliefs, attitudes, and actions around what you think is important. It will help you take a step back and gain perspective on what truly matters.
1.Find a comfortable seated position. You can sit cross-legged on a cushion on the floor or in a chair. This meditation also works well as a walking meditation.
2.Soften your gaze and become aware of your breath.
3.Follow several complete cycles of inhales and exhales.
4.Bring your attention to a specific sensation in your breathing. This sensation will be your anchor for the remainder of this meditation. Return to it whenever you find your mind or body becoming restless.
5.As thoughts, sounds, or sensations arise during this meditation, ask these questions: Is this true? Is this important?
6.Resist the temptation to try to answer the questions. In this meditation, simply asking them is enough to begin developing a passive detachment from your thoughts. Some thoughts, sounds, or interruptions may be true and important. Some may be true but not really important, some may be neither true nor important. Our default is to assume that just because we think, hear, see, or feel something, it is both true and important. This meditation will help you cultivate discernment.
7.Stay with this quality of mind through the meditation, maintaining a connection to the breath as your anchor. Carry this mind-set throughout your day and notice how it helps you channel your energy.
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CHIMES 5 TO 10 MINUTES
The sound of wind chimes has a unique relaxing quality. In this simple meditation, you’ll focus on the sound from either real wind chimes (if you have some hanging nearby and it’s a windy day) or a recording (you can easily find free recordings online). Like other aural-based meditations in this book, the intention here is to bring your total awareness to the sound of the chimes as it arrives at your ears. You will fully accept the sound while remaining completely aware of the present moment.
1.Find a comfortable seated position. You can sit cross-legged on a cushion on the floor or in a chair. Sit up straight, but don’t force perfect posture. Position yourself near wind chimes that you hear clearly. If you’re listening to a recording, press play.
2.Take several slow, deep breaths. Let any thoughts drift away.
3.Allow your breath to return to its natural rhythm and bring your focus to a specific sensation within the cycle of your inhales and exhales. It could be the tip of your nose, the back of your throat, or the rise and fall of your rib cage.
4.Turn your attention to the sound of the chimes. Try to immerse yourself in the sound waves of each note. Feel the sound fill your body.
5.Keep your attention on the sound of the chimes for the duration of this meditation.
6.If thoughts, sensations, or other sounds distract from your focus, return to your breath and the sound of the chimes.
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A WALK IN THE WOODS 25 MINUTES
The vast majority of human evolution occurred while we lived in a very close relationship to nature. Only within the past 100 years have we begun spending much more time indoors. And in only the past couple of decades have we begun spending most of our time staring at, or living under, artificial lights. Fresh air and the soothing sounds and sights we experience while outdoors are revitalizing on a primal level. In this mindfulness meditation practice, all you need is a peaceful nature trail. If you live in a city, find a path in a park. Try to get away from the sounds and sights of bustling humanity. Just find the most natural environment that you can.
1.Once you’re on the path, begin walking at a comfortable, natural pace. The intention of this meditation, like all others, is to cultivate and sustain total awareness of the present moment, so there’s no need to rush.
2.Without changing or controlling its natural rhythm, bring your attention to your breath. Observe the easy coming and going of each inhale and exhale. Bring your focus to a specific sensation within the cycle of your breath. It could be the tip of your nose, the back of your throat, or the rise and fall of your rib cage.
3.Allow any thoughts in your head to dissolve away, coming into total awareness of each movement your body makes as you walk—from your fi
ngertips to your shoulders, your neck, your torso and your hips, knees, ankles, and toes.
4.Try to gently improve your posture and deepen your breathing.
5.As you continue on your walk, pay attention to what you’re experiencing. How does the ground feel under your feet? What sound do your feet make touching the ground? Can you make your footsteps almost silent without dramatically changing your gait?
6.How does the sound of the wind change as you move along the path? Can you hear birds? Perhaps children playing? Is there moving water?
7.Look up at the sky. What are the clouds doing?
8.You are moving through the world, an observer of all that you see, hear, feel, smell, touch, and experience. You are completely in the present.
9.What does the external world bring up in your internal world? As thoughts arise, acknowledge them, accept them, and let them go. Bring your focus back to your experience in the present moment.
10.When you conclude this meditation and return to your day, notice how you feel. Are you more relaxed? Do you feel refreshed or revitalized? Do you have more clarity? Remember that you can bring the same level of awareness that you brought to your walk to every moment in your day.
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FULL OF GRATITUDE 5 MINUTES
Many gurus and mindfulness experts espouse the benefits of a gratitude practice. I personally believe it is one of the best methods for creating near-immediate mental calm. A stark difference from the mental states of analysis, calculation, planning, and worry, a state of gratitude is one of peaceful acceptance. Feeling grateful may be the most simple and elegant shortcut to a calm, clear mind. The best part is you can do this anywhere, anytime, regardless of what’s going on in your life. You can always find something to be grateful for—if only the air you breathe.
1.Wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, find a comfortable position—you can be seated, standing, or lying down. You can be anywhere. Lengthen your spine, lifting through the top of your head.
