“For now, we should let her rest,” Sora said, glancing at everyone in the small circle. “We should do the same before we reach Ondon.”
“I’ll stay with her,” Selas said, standing and approaching the medical supplies on the opposite wall. “I have some cuts of my own that I need to patch.”
Sora followed the others out, turning to the left and heading toward the main hold. He considered it a success that Fi lived and that Anziar hadn’t taken control of Selas, but he still needed Fi to wake up soon. The crew needed a victory of some sort. He needed that. He had lost another crew member and he couldn’t lose a third.
“Sora,” Naos said, stepping out of the hall’s shadows. His eyes had turned red and his voice shook. “Can…can we talk?”
The unusual request halted Sora. Unusual for Naos, at least. “Sure, in the main hold?”
“No. Somewhere private.”
Sora motioned for Naos to follow him and passed through the main hold, turning to the left and proceeding down another corridor. He knew that Naos would take Scout’s death harder than most, but he didn’t know if he could help Naos in the way he needed. Sora helped Fi in the only way he could, but the results still didn’t seem positive. He couldn’t help Viktor or Scout. He still doubted his capability as this crew’s leader.
Nonetheless, he would keep pressing forward. He no longer had a choice.
They reached a gray door at the end of the hall. It parted before them and Sora led Naos into the spacious captain’s quarters. The room sat mostly empty, only holding a few storage compartments and a large bed. Sora imagined that the quarters held more luxurious qualities when Felicia ran the Killer, but he wanted to keep it simple.
“I guess….uh, you know what this is about,” Naos said, rubbing his arm as Sora sat on the edge of the bed. “I don’t know how we can keep going without Scout. She started all this. Seeing her body like that…seeing how the Queen won…”
Naos looked away, but the blue ceiling lights caused his tears to sparkle. Sora understood his question. The crew found Scout first, and as reluctant as she felt then, she stood at the center of everything that followed. Without her, this journey seemed bleaker and it seemed like they failed. Sora wondered if he failed.
However, they couldn’t stop now. Scout wouldn’t want them to let Bettina succeed. She deserved better than that.
“Scout was determined to rescue you from the Bombard, so much that she thanked me for keeping my word after we made it out,” Sora said, folding his hands. Naos looked back at him, not masking any grief. “I told her that we would keep fighting and get justice for all of you. I need to keep that word, too.”
“I know,” Naos said, wiping the water off his face. “It’ll just be so much harder without her. She…”
“Meant a lot to you, which is why you must keep fighting,” Sora said, nodding at Naos. Again, he blinked away his own tears. “She’s earned that and more from us. What Queen Bettina did to Scout…”
Sora felt his throat tighten. A tear escaped from his eyelid.
“…was monstrous. I can’t let that go, and I know you well enough to know that you can’t, either.”
Naos closed his eyes, turning toward the door. He ran his hands across his face again. “Ever since you showed up on the Senator’s doorstep, I thought all of this was impossible. I said it over and over. I asked Scout to run away, not because I didn’t think this was a worthy cause, but because I wanted to protect her from something like this. I wanted the four of us to get away from a fight that could only end like this.”
Sora frowned. Naos had never voiced his doubts so clearly to him.
“Now, all these months later, I still think the same thing,” Naos said, facing him with flushed cheeks. “This is impossible. We can’t get justice. You’re smart and all, but you can’t do this, Sora. No one can.”
Sora looked at the floor. He examined the intricate blue panels that interconnected and formed the surface beneath their boots. The simple pattern depended on each panel to remain in its proper position and click into place at every assigned spot. The standard design reminded him of the crew. An independent yet interwoven crew, intricately linked to and dependent on multiple other pieces.
“I agree that I can’t do this. I’ve thought that ever since Viktor died,” Sora said, returning his view to the piece speaking to him. “But I believe that you can. Anything that I’ve done is because I believe that you, Nait, Natalia, Selas, Fi, and the others can bring down Bettina. I am supporting this underground alliance because it will give you the chance to depose her. You can get justice for Scout, and she always knew that. She believed in you.”
Naos sniffed, likely trying to retain any tears that he could. Sora heard the congestion in his nose. “I know she did. I wish I felt the same.”
“Ignore how you feel,” he said, shaking his head and squeezing Naos’ shoulder. “A lot that’s happened goes against how we feel or what we consider to be possible. Focus on what you can do. If your actions make strides against Bettina, then that’s all the justice Scout needs.”
That served as the only advice Sora had left. He needed to cling to it as much as Naos.
“Yeah, I guess,” Naos said, nodding and backing away from Sora. A half-hearted smile crossed his face. “Uh, thanks, Sora…this, um, means more than you think. I need to go check on Nait. I think he’s still pretty upset…”
Sora waved him away, trying to keep the look of reassurance on his face until Naos left the room. As the teenager disappeared into the hall, he stood and faced his bed. He relaxed his shoulders and let the breath escape his nostrils. He wanted the tension to leave with the breath and dissipate into the air, but he knew that wouldn’t happen. His shoulders slouched, yet they still felt heavy.
The tension and the weight wouldn’t leave. The tension and weight of Scout’s death, Fi’s trauma, and his questionable leadership. No, all of it would stay. Sora didn’t know how to get rid of it.
Should he have leveraged the meeting on Ondon to get the prison’s location sooner? If the crew had gone to Danforth before Ondon, would Scout have lived? Questions he would never know the answer to. He had to live with that and he hated it. He worried and thought so much on Kit’s offer, and now, he realized he didn’t use it as much as he could have.
Sora didn’t like to think of ‘using’ anything. That went against the generous nature that the crew had, but at this point, maybe he needed to think like that.
“Talked out yet, Captain?”
Sora glanced over his shoulder to see Natalia standing in the doorway. She rested her head against the wall and displayed a tired smile. He felt like he’d barely seen or spoken to her since Graig. Every time he tried, she re-focused the discussion on their mission. Then again, maybe he hadn’t tried as much as he should’ve.
“I feel like it should be the other way around,” Sora said, turning and smiling. His own smile probably looked tired. “It’s been a while, Natalia. It feels like the battle on Graig was ages ago.”
“I know. Sorry I haven’t been as involved,” Natalia said, stepping inside the quarters and folding her hands in front of her. “Confronting the Queen was heavier than I expected.”
“You’ve been as involved as you could,” he said, taking a step toward her. They still stood several feet apart. “She was your best friend, so it’s understandable. You’re allowed to mourn, Natalia, especially now.”
A tired frown replaced the smile and her hands slipped apart. Natalia tightened her lips and closed her eyes, as if he didn’t exist. He took a half-step toward her, rubbing his own eyes. These conversations didn’t get easier.
“I’m sorry about Scout,” Sora said, dropping his hand to his side. “I can’t imagine how hard it is on you, considering your history.”
“Yes, you can. You loved her too,” Natalia said, opening her hazel eyes. For the first time, they looked exhausted, but Sora still found them beautiful. “Longevity doesn’t mean much, compared to what we’ve a
ll experienced together. It does feel like ages, like this will never end.”
“I know,” he said. He nodded and wanted to say more, but he didn’t know what to say, considering that he felt the same. He felt as discouraged as she did, and he’d tried to encourage Naos, but he didn’t know if he could do the same for Natalia. He believed in her just as much as he believed in the others, but talking to her always felt different.
Sora felt more vulnerable when talking to her. He didn’t feel like the leader and he liked that relaxation.
“I know what you’d say,” Natalia said, as if she knew he couldn’t think of any words. “We’re making strides, and that’s true. I just don’t want to see anyone else die, but I know that I will. It’s unavoidable, but I’m tired of it.”
Her voice cracked. Sora heard Natalia yell, cry, and sooth, but he’d never heard her voice crack like this. Sora heard hesitation in the crack, and Natalia didn’t hesitate.
“She slaughtered all of my colleagues on a whim and they’re practically forgotten. We lost Viktor, she executed Scout,” Natalia said, raising her voice and waving her hand in the air, like she talked about something that didn’t matter. “She murdered Jet by drilling into his body! A drill! She used a drill after I brought us and her to his doorstep.”
“She’s a monster,” Sora said, stepping closer to Natalia as tears dripped from her eyelids. “Not you. Her.”
“Yes, but who else am I leading to their death?!” Natalia said, throwing her hands into the air and stepping back. Her breaths grew heavier. “Who else is she going to use to taunt me? She knew that I cared about Jet. That’s why she enjoyed killing him.”
“Felicia and Nelson led Bettina to Jet and he put himself at risk long before we showed up,” Sora said, extending a hand toward Natalia and stepping closer. He hoped it would calm her. “Remember what you told me. All of us knew the risks and we’re too deep to question ourselves now.”
He saw the irony, but he had to ignore it. Maybe he could encourage Natalia by using her words instead of his own. Yes, he still questioned himself, but for the sake of Natalia, he had to pull her back from this. This type of thinking would destroy her.
Like Trika said, they didn’t need to overthink. They would survive by going with the flow and sticking to what they knew. Sora knew Natalia and that empowered these words.
Natalia closed her eyes again and tightened her lips. Her hands fell to her waist and her feet moved toward Sora. He still held out his hand toward her, not stepping back. Now, the gap between them vanished as they stood inches apart.
“I used to do this to calm myself before a tough session in Parliament,” Natalia said, keeping her eyes closed but exhaling. “I haven’t felt unsettled enough to do it until I heard about Scout, and since Graig, I can’t stop thinking about Jet. I believe what I told you, Sora, but it’s just so hard when it hits so close to home.”
“I know. It’s hard when it’s someone you care so much about,” Sora said, frowning. “It doesn’t change the truth, though. The truth of who we are and what we have to do.”
Natalia opened her bloodshot eyes, but now, they didn’t look as tired as before. “You and I have established quite a pattern. These back-and-forth conversations.”
Sora smiled, putting his hand on her shoulder. He didn’t feel like his smile looked as tired, either. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Natalia leaned in, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on his shoulder. Slowly, he wrapped his free arm around her back and ran his hand down her shoulder. He had more he wanted to ask her and more he wanted to tell her. He still wanted to ask about Jet and Natalia’s feelings for him, but now didn’t seem appropriate. For now, Sora and Natalia only needed this moment.
For now, they both needed to grieve.
“Even Jaskia Paine came to rescue you,” Bettina said, staring at the recording that played on the screen directly in front of them. Kurt tossed Nait and Naos, both disheveled and weeping, while Jaskia scrambled to the corridor. The security footage only showed the cell, but it still picked up on the following gunfire. “Quite disappointing that she still lives.”
The screen went black and Scout twisted her hands against the restraints. Now, she had full use of her body and clear vision. Bettina wanted Scout to fully experience the sight of her oldest friends finding her “body” and mourning her “death.” Scout bit her lip again and felt another blood vessel break.
She didn’t care. She only wanted to break Bettina’s blood vessels.
“The children and Sora Trok made the moves I anticipated. Now, you are dead to them, as you soon shall be to me,” Bettina said, turning to face Scout. The slab that held her stood upright, feet away from Bettina and Chief Bosnan, the only other two people who occupied the small, dark green room. A box-looking device sat on a table next to Bosnan. Two wires extended from the square and connected to circles that hung from Scout’s forehead and left temple.
“Some plan,” Scout said, spitting in the direction of Bettina. “Your trap didn’t work. If they didn’t escape, you’d be flaunting their bodies in front of me right now.”
“On the contrary, I intended for them to escape,” Bettina said. Her face didn’t flicker with any disappointment or satisfaction. “Captain Nelson’s strongest quality is failure, so I had no doubt that they would make it off Danforth with your death at the forefront of their minds.”
“You’re desperate,” Scout said, shaking her head. “This is the most contrived plan you’ve ever come up with.”
She hated to see Naos and Nait cry over her. She hated to watch them leave this place thinking that she died. All of it hurt, but she couldn’t let Bettina see that. If she wanted to escape and prove to the crew that she lived, then she had to act strong. Even when she didn’t feel strong, she had to give herself hope.
She only had hope left. She didn’t have much of it, either, but she wouldn’t let Bettina win. Scout would best her.
“Fi Kal’s escape was not as anticipated,” Bettina said, glancing to the shackled scientist. He only blinked in response. “But I suppose she served her purpose. Now, the true knight will rise and take Fi’s place.”
Scout felt like they had kept her locked in here forever, but at the same time, it seemed so short because of how often they drugged her. No matter how long or how short it seemed, she knew that she’d grown sick of Bettina’s cryptic language. The vague statements alone increased Scout’s thirst to kill her.
“Lady Cerasi will soon be joining us, so we should make haste,” Bettina said, turning to Bosnan. “Begin.”
As Bosnan’s fingers dropped to the keyboard on the device, Scout groaned. “Blinding me again?”
As soon as the sarcasm left Scout’s mouth, the circles jolted her and the room disappeared. She didn’t experience blindness, though. She experienced darkness and she plummeted endlessly through that darkness. She tried to throw her hands out to stop herself or cushion her fall, but neither attempt worked. Electricity tickled her brain and accelerated her fall.
“Shall I access her earliest childhood memory?” Bosnan said, sounding more muffled than before.
Scout kicked her feet and frantically waved her hands in the dark abyss. Nothing.
“This can’t be real,” Scout whispered. She didn’t know if they heard her or not.
“I was her childhood,” Bettina said. The darkness also muffled her voice, but she still sounded resolute. “Access a recent memory in the amygdala. One that has strong emotions tied to it.”
The electricity accelerated her fall again. Scout dropped out of the dark abyss and into a body of clear blue water. She looked to the surface and tried to swim toward it, but she couldn’t. The electricity pulled her underwater and kept her there. She closed her mouth to retain air and glanced at her surroundings.
Naos swam in front of her, looking confused and deprived of oxygen. Scout neared him and noticed his young, smooth skin. The innocence in those blue eyes. The cheeks that strugg
led to keep in what little air Naos gathered before launching himself off the cliff. The lips that barely kept themselves together as water entered.
Naos. The one who kept her sane. Scout’s panic over falling disappeared. Her sadness over her “death” washed away. She only saw Naos.
“She’s already reliving the memory,” Bosnan said. Scout ignored him.
“Of course,” Bettina said. Her voice echoed underwater and held a more sinister tone than before. “The boy.”
Scout ignored his confused stare and leaned in, kissing him. Naos embraced it, letting his lips free of their struggle.
“Always so emotional,” Bettina said. Scout felt the water entering her lungs, but she re-directed her focus to her current action. All that she wanted to focus on. “Chief Bosnan, find her memories of Wantim and access them.”
“Your Majesty, that may break the—”
“Follow my orders.”
The oasis swirled and changed into the familiar red clay mines. A hand grabbed her back and turned her over, increasing the pain in the back of her leg. Scout shrieked.
“Per usual, your pathetic empathy for your loved ones overpowers your knowledge of combat,” Bettina said, towering above her. She scoffed. “A true pity that it took you from my service.”
Scout felt tears bubble, but they paused as something clicked in her mind. This didn’t seem right. She narrowed her eyes at Bettina’s stoic face, remembering that this woman currently held her captive. Bettina wanted to manipulate her and Naos caused Scout to forget that.
“Wrong move,” Scout said, scoffing. She knew the real Bettina could hear her. “Staring at your gaunt face isn’t the same as Naos’.”
“Focus on the memory, Chief Bosnan,” Bettina said, still hovering above Scout but speaking into the air. “Replay it.”
The red planet swirled and Bettina shoved Scout onto the ground again, before turning her over. Scout shrieked again from the pain in her leg.
“This isn’t real,” Scout said, closing her eyes. “It’s the past.”
“Per usual, your pathetic empathy for your loved ones overpowers your knowledge of combat. A true pity that it took you from my service.”
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