“That will take some coordination,” Sora said, pointing to every crew member. “When we land, Selas and Kossk will stay back to guard Fi, Jekk, Chok, and the ship. If the rest of us encounter too much resistance from Scout or any forces she has with her, I’ll activate my comm and Chok will send in back-up.”
“I finished connecting your comm to the cockpit just now, Captain, since this big butt took much time in communications center,” Chok said, leaning forward on the couch and pointing at Nait.
“I…I did send a transmission to Kurt’s ship, hoping he’d let Jaskia know somehow,” Nait said, slouching his shoulders and frowning. “Probably won’t hear anything back, but I just wanted her to know she’s alive. I’m just ready to get my sister back.”
“If she brought a ton of soldiers, just be ready to ambush them,” Trika said, sitting next to Chok and motioning to Kossk and Selas. “After all we’ve done for this kid, I’d really hate for a soldier to kill me on her orders. Seem a little too tragic, you know?”
“My body is healed and ready to intervene,” Kossk said, tapping his claw on the table. “Our bodies and minds will defend and protect.”
Selas nodded but didn’t feel as willing as Kossk. He couldn’t leave Fi or Jekk vulnerable on the Killer if a skirmish broke out. Jekk could possibly defend himself, but any soldier could kill or re-capture Fi with ease. He wouldn’t allow that, but he wouldn’t allow the crew to fail, either.
“It will be alright, brother,” Jekk said, squeezing his shoulder. Again, Jekk’s wisdom and insight surpassed his. “We will all be alright.”
“Hopefully, she doesn’t have too much backup. If we can protect Catalan and get Scout onto the ship, this will be a success,” Sora said, again eyeing every crew member. He stepped back. “Let’s get done whatever preparation we can before we get there.”
As the circle broke, Selas whirled around and walked through the closest exit. He turned to the right and entered the medical bay, feeling as if this room had become his quarters. He sat in the chair next to the bed and again took Fi’s hand, stroking it. She remained in the same still position, not giving any signs of life other than the vitals on the screen.
He only had one way to prepare for this. He could only sit with her.
“Focus your mind,” Kossk said, walking into the room and putting a claw on Selas’ shoulder. “Your mind must rest and focus.”
“How is her brain?” he asked, clinging to her hand. “I must know.”
Kossk walked past him to the other side of the bed, again resting his claw on Fi’s head. He closed his eyes, while Selas stared at Fi’s face. He wanted to see something different, but everything remained unchanged. He wanted her to twitch or use some reflex. He wanted Fi to display even the smallest activity. Anything that showed an attempt to come back.
“Her mind no longer re-organizes itself, but it refuses to wake up,” Kossk said, opening his eye and removing his claw. “Her mind restrains itself.”
Selas grimaced. “You make it sound like a choice.”
“In a way, her mind does make that choice. Perhaps not her soul, but her mind,” Kossk said, walking away from the bed and toward the doorway. “Currently, her mind consumes itself, and only it can choose to stop that consumption, just as your own mind must make that same choice.”
As he stared, he no longer saw Fi’s peaceful exterior, even if it still existed. He knew that pain and regret consumed her mind. The Queen had brought feelings of failure to the forefront, but now, Fi let them dominate her. Even when he’d briefly broken through to her, those feelings didn’t leave. They’d retained dominance.
Selas rubbed his temples. If only he had supported her.
“Once again, you have failed.”
Anziar no longer attacked his mind, but his words remained. However, as they echoed, Selas paused and lifted his hands, again looking at Fi. Kossk’s last words replaced Anziar’s. He let failure consume him, just as Fi did. He allowed failing his family and failing Fi to rule his mind. When he did that, he still gave Anziar a sense of victory. When he did that, he took his attention off Fi.
Sora’s words replaced Kossk’s. He’d reached Fi by tapping into their connection. Fi had once reached him by doing the same. He’d reached Fi by focusing on her and asking her to come back to him. That had stopped Fi from carrying out the Queen’s orders and had momentarily taken Fi away from herself. Sora had focused on Fi and that had stopped Anziar.
Perhaps he had stopped focusing too soon.
“Fi, I still need you,” Selas said, squeezing her hand and leaning closer. “I still need you to stay with me. I want you to stay with me. I should have asked you about your brother sooner, and I’m sorry for that. I should have faced my own brothers sooner. We can’t dwell on those shortcomings, Fi.”
No response. Selas didn’t loosen his grip.
“The whole crew needs you, Fi. We always have and we always will. You know better than anyone what Scout is going through, so we need your knowledge. We need your stability. You are more stable than your mother. You are more stable than the monster Bettina tried to turn you into. You are too stable to let the schemes of Anziar defeat you.”
Still, no response, but he had to stay focused. He’d started this fight with that mentality and he couldn’t let it fade. He had already done that too many times.
“Come back to me,” he said, running his hand over her arm and up her shoulder. “Stay with me.”
She lowered the sword, prepared to slice through the delicate skin on her neck. However, just before the sword reached her, a splitting pain erupted throughout her head. It felt like a laser, but different. Before she could process anything past that, everything went black.
The scenario repeated. She lowered the sword, prepared to slice through the delicate skin on her neck. The pain erupted before she could finish the job, ending her consciousness before she could realize what happened.
Sometimes, flashes interrupted the repetition. She saw flashes of her kitchen and her frantic mother. She saw flashes of wielding her sword and charging into battle on the streets of Con and Adli. She saw flashes of the Bombard’s bridge. She saw flashes of Queen Bettina towering over her as she knelt.
“Only I can redeem you.”
None of the flashes would last. She could barely acknowledge them.
“If you seek redemption, you won’t find it in Queen Bettina.”
The words conflicted with Queen Bettina, but they seemed right. She felt his hand run down her arm. She felt their lips touch. When she saw his eyes on the Killer and on the Bombard, his words seemed right. When his hand touched her wrist and she looked at his eyes on Danforth, Queen Bettina and her words faded. She no longer saw Queen Bettina carrying her to kill her mother. That freed her from the Queen’s service, but it also caused her guilt to return.
Instantly, she lowered the sword, prepared to slice through the delicate skin on her neck.
“Come back to me.”
Fi didn’t finish the job, but not because of the pain. She didn’t feel the pain. Instead, the sword disappeared, and Fi no longer stood in the prison. She stood in a black abyss. Fi saw nothing and felt nothing beneath her, but this time, she didn’t fall. This didn’t seem like one of the flashes.
“Stay with me.”
Those words didn’t come from a memory. Someone spoke those words currently.
Fi knew his voice. Selas. She refused to believe that he needed her, but he still refused to agree. He still spoke the same words to her. She wished that they would bring her comfort, but they didn’t. She still needed redemption and justice.
“I can’t come back from this,” Fi said, whispering into the abyss. He couldn’t hear her, but he needed to understand.
“Yes, you can.”
That didn’t sound like Selas, but Fi recognized the voice. She turned around and faced Carrack. He had the normal height of an eight-year-old, along with the freckles and silver hair. Again, Fi wanted to hyperventilate. The unfamili
ar inclination wanted to overpower her and she strained to slow her breath.
“Carrack,” Fi said, noticing the torn rubber ball in her hands. “This isn’t real, either.”
“Real?” Carrack said, giving a childish giggle. “You and I played make-believe all the time, Fi. You still play make-believe.”
Fi scowled and shook her head. “No. I only pay attention to what’s real and what isn’t. That’s how I survive.”
“You aren’t surviving right now,” Carrack said, shrugging. His high-pitched voice sounded exactly the same, but he had the words of an adult. “Because you’re still making stuff up. You made up that you failed me.”
The ball rested in Fi’s hands, but they trembled. “I-I did fail. I’m sorry, Carrack. I didn’t save you from Mom. She killed you because of me, and then, I ran away. I have to face that.”
“Mom made that up, too. She made stuff up more than we did, but you never believed her. Why do you believe her now?”
She didn’t see the kitchen of the farmhouse, but she heard her mother screaming at her. She heard her calling her a murderer.
“I…I don’t believe you. She killed you, but I didn’t save you from her. I’m facing realit—”
Fi paused, glancing around the abyss and examining her little brother. Carrack wore the same clothes as he did the day he died. Reality didn’t exist here.
“If any of my failure is made up, why would I believe it?”
Carrack smiled. “Because if you think you failed, you don’t have to let go of me.”
Fi felt the sting in her eyes. She wondered what kind of man Carrack would have grown into. She wondered if his freckles would have faded or if his silver hair would’ve grown out. She knew that he’d become a better adult than either of their parents.
She wished that she could see that in reality.
“Stay with me.”
Selas’ voice resounded throughout the abyss. Carrack opened his hands and began to jump up and down.
“Come on, Fi, toss me the ball!”
Her hands no longer trembled. She glanced at the old ball.
“Come on, toss me the ball.”
Fi threw the ball. Light flooded her eyesight, removing the abyss and any lingering memory that it carried. Instead, Fi opened her eyes, allowing reality to return.
Beeping echoed off the walls of the medical bay, while the vital signs on the screen spiked. Selas kept his grip on Fi’s hand but turned his attention to the screen. He couldn’t tell if this meant something positive or negative, but Fi responded somehow. His words had accomplished something.
“What’s happening?” Sora said, darting into the room.
“Her mind has made a choice,” Kossk said, appearing in the doorway.
“If she’s dying, we need to do someth—” Trika said, shoving past Kossk. Jekk, Natalia, Nait, Naos, and Chok crowded in the doorway behind the Mizan, standing shoulder-to-shoulder in the suddenly cramped space.
“Selas.”
The voice cut off all complaints and panic. Selas faced Fi to see her eyes open and zooming in on his own. A chill covered his shoulders as he looked at her intricate, black eyes. The eyes from the cargo hold and the Bombard. The black that he found comfort in. Once again, they drew him in, and he recognized her.
“Fi,” Selas said, managing to emit one word. “Fi.”
“I heard you,” Fi said. Her voice grew stronger with every word. “You brought me back. Ironic how positions reverse.”
Selas shook his head and allowed his lips to crease. “No, not at all. You chose to come back, Fi. Perhaps I helped, but it is you who still deserve the honor. You’re far stronger than I and you have once again proved that.”
“We’ve missed you,” Sora said, smiling and reminding Selas of the presence of the crew. “I’m glad to have you back. How do you feel?”
“Fine now,” Fi said, wincing and sitting up. “My brain was the most injured, thanks to Queen Bettina. Thank you for shooting me, by the way.”
Trika scoffed, while Sora shook his head. “Just didn’t want you making such a big mistake.”
“The rest of your body should regain strength quickly, but it may still take a little time for your mind to reconnect,” Kossk said, tapping Fi’s leg and closing his eyes. “Do not allow your mind to push your body before it is ready.”
“Fi, Bettina did the same thing to Scout,” Naos said, peering over the rest of the crew in the doorway. His face paled. “We’re on our way to Catalan to try and stop her, but…I don’t know if we can get to her. She doesn’t even remember us. What happened to you guys?”
“Bettina captured Chief Bosnan and forced him to alter the technology that he used on his first army,” Fi said, clearing her throat and sporting her familiar, stoic expression. “He created a device that can tap into our memories and change them, before giving us Bettina’s commands.”
Selas scowled. He couldn’t dwell on this torture or it would unsettle him more than Fi. He already detected the tension that consumed the medical bay as soon as Fi mentioned Chief Bosnan. While she calmly summarized her trauma, he could tell that discomfort attacked the crew.
“Chief Bosnan,” Sora said, exhaling and attempting to sound calm. “That explains a lot. When Selas spoke to you on Danforth, that broke the trance and you defied the commands. I believe we can do the same with Scout.”
“Yes, potentially, but as Kossk said, I had to make a choice. I had to choose to believe Selas and I had to choose to fight the demons that Bettina and Bosnan brought to the surface. Scout will have to do the same.”
Selas lowered his face, glancing at the floor. Demons played far too much of a role in the Nebula’s events. Many demons that he refused to acknowledge before they took hold.
“Could we have a moment?” he asked, looking at the crew.
Sora smiled and nodded. One by one, every crew member waved at Fi and exited the medical bay. Jekk, the last person standing in the doorway, gave Selas and Fi a re-assuring smile before walking away.
“Your twin,” Fi said, nodding and staring at the empty doorway. “I suppose I can see the resemblance.”
“Fi, I owe you an apology. I’m sorry that I didn’t ask about your brother sooner. I’m sorry that I didn’t support you in your pain,” Selas said, caressing her hand. “You’ve supported me through much hardship and I owe you the same.”
“I ran from my past for too long. Escaping isn’t the same as overcoming,” Fi said, putting her other hand over his. “Now, we’ve both faced our families, and we can’t dwell on those pasts. What currently happens in this life takes precedence.”
Selas thought of Caleb. He still had one family member to face, but he agreed with Fi. The Killer crew had a current fight that took precedence.
“You’re right. So much is happening,” he said, nodding. “We need you here if we’re going to get through it. I truly have missed you, Fi.”
“I’ve missed you,” Fi said, leaning closer. Selas did the same.
They kissed. Again, he felt a sense of love and belonging. Love and belonging that he’d almost lost. Now, once again, all fear and darkness vanished. He only experienced the unity of himself and Fi.
16
The Killer flew into the gray planet of Catalan, navigating its way through thick clouds and flashes of lightning. Sora sat in the co-pilot’s seat, allowing Chok to fly the ship while he examined the planet. As the Killer descended, he saw yellow, barren ground that spanned in every direction. He saw four towers in the distance that sat five or six stories high, but otherwise, he didn’t see any other structures or signs of society.
“Atmosphere unstable, Captain,” Chok said, pressing the piloting sticks forward. As the ship got lower, large water droplets slammed onto the viewport. “Severe storms constantly building. Scanner only detects life in four buildings. Ground appears uninhabitable.”
“Uninhabitable?” Sora asked, glancing at the scanner next to his pilot. Red messages constantly appeared. “Can it be wa
lked on?”
“No,” Chok said, shaking his head. “Four towers have firm foundation but no defenses. No landing clearance.”
He shook his head. Chief Bosnan had told the truth about his planet’s devastation, which made these people more vulnerable to Scout.
“Government shuttle on one landing pad on sixth floor. Much room for big butts.”
Sora leaned forward, glimpsing over the edge of the viewport. The four gray, bulky towers had wide landing pads scattered throughout the highest points of their exteriors, but the closest pad held a government shuttle. The shuttle looked identical to the vessel that escaped into Ondon’s sunrise.
“That’s her,” he said, standing and approaching the doorway. “Set us down next to her shuttle and keep the ship locked until we get back.”
Sora rushed through the next corridor, listening to the landing gear disengage and the following thud. As he progressed through the main hold, Selas and Kossk hovered at the edge of the room. Selas held his modified rifle while Kossk’s spear leaned on the wall. Both nodded at him, motioning to the opposite corridor.
“Our bodies are ready when your mind deems necessary, Captain.”
“We’ll keep in touch,” Sora said, running past them. “Keep everyone here safe until then.”
“Go!” Sora said, calling ahead to Natalia, Nait, Naos, and Trika. Natalia hit the button near the ramp and the hiss echoed throughout the corridors. The four sped down the ramp, while Sora removed his rifle and followed the crew. He hit the button again and jumped off the ramp as it ascended into the rest of the Killer.
Rain pelted Sora as soon as his boots hit the landing pad, but he stared at their destination. Light shined from the open doorway straight ahead. He followed the four across the landing pad, while thunder echoed and lightning revealed itself. Although this didn’t deter him, everyone else quickly halted as they entered the building.
“Sora,” Natalia said, pointing to the ground. Sora ran through the doorway but his reaction matched the others’ as he glanced at the ground.
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