by Clare London
I was so frighteningly furious that it stunned me. Orven would die for this!
Dax was shaking his head. Apparently I’d missed the point of his report. He wasn’t looking to complain about an abusive Silver Captain. “We were away from the main attack, that’s what saved us. When he realized what was happening, he sent me to tell you—to fetch reinforcements—and he went back to support Justes. I think he’s dead as well. I didn’t see… I ran to you!”
And he clutched at my hand on his shoulder, looking up into my eyes. I saw the naked emotion in his face. Such pain, such need, such trust! It chilled me at the same time as it thrilled through me.
“Sir.” He winced again. He had been wounded, but he was hiding that from me well. “Let me get back to them, to fight. To defend them!”
“You’ll do what you’re told,” I growled at him. “There’s no place for foolish bravery now. Let me call for reinforcements, then take me there as fast as you can.”
I sounded the alarm bell just inside the barracks door, but I didn’t wait for any soldiers to join me, scared of any further delay. I pushed Dax in front of me, out of the barracks and toward the eastern wall. There were no signs or sounds to alert us of any battle, and I feared the Exiles might already be in the Household. The danger might be more critical than I imagined. I dreaded what I’d find at the eastern gate.
We only half ran. Dax was exhausted and still shocked, and I had no idea how badly he was injured. By now, his left arm hung limp at his side. If the bone were broken, he should be resting, and it’d need splinting to avoid further damage. The Household had no place for a disabled Bronzeman, one who’d be less than perfect in battle. I watched the pain twist his face as he stumbled across the courtyard and ached in sympathy for him.
“You must go back to the barracks,” I urged. “Find Grien. Make sure Bernos and Hull are on their way to the gate, and we’ll—”
I don’t know what hit me then—all I felt was a sudden blow to my neck and a pain that managed to be both sharp and dull at the same time. Breath expelled from my lungs and strength fled from my limbs. Many men surrounded me, their hands pinning my arms to my sides, grasping at my hair to pull my head back. I cursed not being adequately prepared; I cursed caring more for the boy’s welfare than my own so that I’d been distracted at the very moment I should have been most aware.
I heard a cry from Dax. I wrenched my head around to see an arm gripping his neck in a stranglehold and dark figures appearing from all around the courtyard. Now I could hear the sounds of battle: harsh metal on unyielding shields; hoarse, splintered cries of anger and fear. The coppery smell of spilled blood filled my nose.
My legs buckled under me and I saw no more, heard no more.
We were lost.
Chapter Seven
THE WIND was sharp and fresh on my face, and I could taste morning frost on my lips. I wondered why there was no shelter over my bunk, why the barracks smelled so vividly of the open air.
The attack—the ambush!
The memories of it flooded through my body and I sat up abruptly, but weakness swamped me and I couldn’t make my limbs obey me. There was a sharp pain in my left leg; the knee felt swollen against the other leg and too cumbersome to move. Fear threatened to suck my breath from me and my head whirled. I needed to know where I was, what had happened. There might still be danger!
A hand on my chest, strong and forceful, pushed me back down. I fell flat, weak as a child. “Stop there, soldier!” came a harsh male voice. “You’re going nowhere yet. Takk and Aran need to talk to you. I don’t know if they’ll be pleased to see you’ve survived. Takk’s bow has taken many lives these last moons, and he doesn’t often miss his mark. They’ll expect something more from you to compensate, I think.”
I looked around, fully awake now. I was in a cave. I could see the rocky ceiling high above me, the jagged, petrified stalactites pointing their cold fingers down at me. The breeze that blew in from outside was chilled, for the mouth of the cave was wide and unsheltered. From the direction of the wind and my limited knowledge of the geography of our planet, I decided I was at the eastern side, though obviously not still in the Household. The air felt thin as if the cave were on high ground. The surface under me was cold and damp, and I guessed I lay on the rock of the cave itself. I tried to gather my wits, but it was difficult. I felt groggy, drugged, as if by the heavy herbal remedies used as painkillers by the House of Physic. As far as I could tell, only one other person was in the cave, though I could hear the murmur of voices outside.
The man staring at me had thick dark hair, cut roughly around his shoulders. He wore a close-fitting vest and trousers of some hide, and a short broad sword at his waist. It was curved in a strange, unfamiliar design. His body was thickset and short compared to mine, and his eyes had the gleam of youth, but his face had lines across the brow and around the mouth like one of our elders. Even if I hadn’t been in such a place, I’d have known he was an Exile.
“I’ve got nothing to offer you. I’m just a soldier.” I tried to make my voice sound even weaker than it actually was.
“You’re a Gold Warrior!” He laughed scornfully. “Do you think we didn’t recognize that ring in your ear? No one else has gold, except for the women. And your body… that’s not the body of a soldier in training. We’ve had plenty of time to study you, soldier. And Eila’s enjoyed it, I can tell you. She did her own inspection when you were first brought in.”
His obscene laughter was too sharp in my ears, like physical pain. My head ached as if it were in a vise. He was uncouth, with an undercurrent of barely controlled violence about him that troubled me. There’d been no military training for him, I could see—it was just his natural aggression. That would make him an inefficient enemy in a fight, but an unpredictable one. Either way, in my weakened state, a fight would be dangerous.
He leaned into me as if enjoying my discomfiture. “Don’t underestimate us. We know far more about you than you do about us. Not so much the perfect soldier now, are you?”
I looked down at myself, both to understand more about this nightmare and to avoid his pungent breath. Stripped to my trousers only, laid out on a low stone bench cut into the wall of the cave, the fabric over my left knee had been ripped apart and I could see the skin of my kneecap bruised and swollen, shining from some kind of thick ointment. A memory nagged at my mind—a blow to my legs, a vicious cutting away of my foothold. I remembered being brought down, losing control of my body for that vital minute. They must have taken me prisoner and carried me here, dragging me up to this cave. I had no idea where we were or how far from the city it might be, no idea of the passage of time. And why did they bother to take me prisoner at all?
There was a rough blanket on the floor below the bench and a fur pelt at my feet. I looked around my body, desperate to know what other injuries I might have. I could see surface cuts on my torso, probably from being carried up to this place. The only other pain came from the back of my head. There was bandaging around my neck, slightly abrasive against my skin. Someone had dressed the wound there and probably saved my life.
The last thing I noticed was a burned mark in my flesh, just below my waist. The design was a pair of interlocking circles with a twisted border of shapes and letters, though none that I recognized. Within the circles was a half-formed figure, though so roughly cut, its limbs were nothing more than lines. The mark was only a handspan wide but colored deep red. For a few puzzled seconds, I considered what it was and where it had come from. The skin was tight around it as if knitting back after invasion—I’d been branded again, but not on my arm as was usual. I wanted to touch it, to see if the blood was still wet, but I lay still instead. My first priority was to establish the situation here and find out the fate of my men.
“So who’s holding me? Are there others of my men here?”
The dark-haired man laughed outright at me. “Feels odd, does it, to find yourself the guest of the Exiles? And as for your men, we killed a few back at the
city, sure, but then we lost some men ourselves.” His face darkened with anger and I wondered how long I’d be safe here with him. “I’d have slaughtered you where you fell, but Takk had other ideas. Full of ’em, he is. But we’re not in the habit of dragging bodies like yours to the Place, so we left the rest of ’em behind. Just brought the two of you. The boy fought harder than a wild buck—”
The boy?
There was a sharp call at the entrance to the cave—“Con!”—and the man wheeled round, startled.
Another man strode in. He was taller, though still thickset and just as unkempt despite a band of hide around his forehead holding back his dark hair. He looked younger, though, and had the fluid movement of a good soldier. I was probably seeing someone of importance, and I unconsciously braced myself in readiness. “You shouldn’t be telling him anything about his capture, for freedom’s sake!”
“Takk.” The man called Con flushed darkly. “Who do you think you are, talking to me like that? Didn’t mean any harm. And what’s it matter what he knows, when he’s sure to die after questioning?”
I barely saw the other man move forward, but he was obviously swift and strong, for he threw Con fiercely across the floor of the cave before the last word was out of his leering mouth.
“You’re a fool, and I told Aran not to leave you in charge. Get out of here! I’ll see to him myself now.”
The man called Con scrambled to his feet and stumbled out, Takk following him. There was argument in low, angry voices outside the mouth of the cave. Con sounded furious with his treatment and unwilling to defer to Takk’s demands. I found the disobedience appalling. That a man should question his superior’s order! It was obvious that Takk was the better soldier. Any other man should have expected to serve him.
I started drawing enough strength together to contemplate an escape from here, sliding my legs off the stone shelf and trying to ignore the sapping of energy from every muscle I’d ever depended on. But before I could make a move, a woman strode into the cave, brushing carelessly past the arguing men. I turned to face her, then froze where I sat. She was so obviously an Exile herself, but she was a woman! My training demanded I defer to her.
She was almost as tall as Takk, with the same dark hair, though hers was long, curling naturally, and loosely tied behind her neck. It was clean. I could say that of all of them: they had a high standard of cleanliness, even after battle. She was attractive, in that her face was smooth and her eyes lively, but she didn’t have the pale, rarefied beauty of the Ladies. Despite that, I liked the healthy, vibrant look of her. What was rather more shocking was her manner of dress, for she wore trousers like the men and a similar vest. She had a good figure, barely hidden under the close-fitting hide, and it seemed as if she enjoyed showing her womanly shape. That was all so different from the modest dress of my own Mistress and her Ladies. I resisted staring at her further, but she stood there as confidently as the men and glared her challenge at me. I fought disorientation that made me both nervous and nauseated.
“Mistress Eila,” I said softly, acknowledging her at last.
“You’ve heard my name.” Her mouth twisted with amusement. “That means we’ve been formally introduced, I guess. Or it would, in your world. So tell me your name, soldier.”
“Maen,” I replied. “Gold Warrior of the House of the Exchequer. Will you tell me why I’m here and who else you have of my men?”
She didn’t answer directly. She moved to within a few feet of me, and I noticed she also carried a sword. It was barely shorter than Takk’s, yet she seemed perfectly comfortable with it. She always kept just out of my reach, suggesting that she had an idea of what my capabilities would be, were I fit enough to challenge her. My initial reactions to her altered rapidly.
“I understand Con has already briefed you,” she said wryly. “He’ll be disciplined for that.”
“This is your… Household?” I’d hesitated to ask, for this was not my territory. I knew I’d made a mistake when she burst into low, musical laughter.
“There are no Households here, Maen, no Mistresses. Just call me Eila. We all live together. We aren’t a large enough community to survive unless we pool our resources. And none of us—for various reasons—has a love of the way the city is run. We’ve chosen other routes, other social structures.”
“So who is in charge?”
She shrugged. “Of this camp? I suppose Takk and I are. We’re a couple. We have the skills and influence to direct the others. I think you’d call us the leaders.”
“You lead with a man?” I protested, and she laughed again.
“Men aren’t the pets here that they are in the city. They have a freedom here that you’ve never had. You’ll hear us use that word a lot—freedom. It’s the desire of us all, our religion, you might call it, if such things hadn’t been outlawed on this planet from the time of colonization. We were only ever offered the Queen as our leader, as our goddess. For some of us, that was a servitude we couldn’t submit to.” She saw my dawning shock and smiled rather cruelly. “Haven’t you ever bitten back your words, held back your hand? Other men do, all the time, and they’re the ones who’ve joined us, voluntarily or not. Men who want a say in their lives, who want to share the power with their women.”
“And the women accept this?” I couldn’t help the note of cynicism in my voice.
She smiled at me again, and this time it was a very sweet smile indeed, though not without a glint of irony in her eyes. “Admittedly some of us might like the life that the Ladies have in the city, pampered as they are. I think most of us believe we deserve it. But then we’ve chosen life here at the Place, as we call it. We prefer to share the load, the responsibility, the joys and trials of life. And to share them with a companion, not a captive plaything.” She leaned in toward me, and for a moment I smelled musky wood smoke and tart, rich oils. It was an exotic, totally unfamiliar mix. “The women here have a confidence that comes from inside of them, rather than having it dealt out according to the lottery of their birth. We don’t need to keep our men in thrall, Maen, for fear of losing control over our wealth and power.”
“The city’s not like that!” I was angry; I wouldn’t allow her to continue with such heresy. “You slander it. You mock the stability of the society. It’s the natural way of things, for the women to rule us—”
“You mean the tales of colonization?” She sounded both scornful and sorrowful. I was very afraid that her pity was for me, and for the first time I felt vulnerable in an emotional sense. She was so very confident, so very assertive. “The tales that told us the women brought all of us here, that they established the cities and were destined to rule this planet? Isn’t that the doctrine you were brought up on?” She laughed sharply. “Don’t flinch, soldier, for I had the same upbringing as you. I’ve been brought up on the same history. And so you also subscribe to the tales of the saving Devotions, the medication that the Ladies developed to save their men, and the need that men have for these. We were all warned about the toxicity of this very planet toward the male population, all indoctrinated with the fear that they’d be wiped out by a horrific disease if not for those precious Devotions.”
Her gaze flicked up and down my body. I felt as if I’d been stroked, and it wasn’t a pleasant feeling.
“So how do you feel today, Maen?” she murmured. “Weak, I think, but that’s from your injuries, for we’ve not drugged you. We’d not waste precious medicines on you, believe me. No, what you’re feeling is the effect of the Devotions leaving your body. Every man suffers it when he first leaves the city. There’s exhaustion at first, particularly for a man like you, who’s taken them every day of his adult life, for so many years. But soon you’ll feel refreshed, with vibrancy that you thought came only with your time as a Bronzeman.”
She stood back from me again, her hand on her sword and her gaze on mine. “It’s all a myth, soldier, that men will perish without their drugs, and we’ve proved it so. Our men here have had to adapt
because we cannot get access to supplies of the Devotions, but they survive, breed, and fight, all without that aid. It’s just a clever tale.”
I shook my head, and now it was my turn to laugh. “Yours is an equally clever tale, Eila. I know the ways of the city far better than you, and I know your way isn’t sustainable. Your men may survive for a time without Devotions, but they won’t thrive. And my Mistress is more than good to me. She cares for all my needs, and together we serve the Queen. I’ve never felt this conflict you speak of. I’ve been challenged enough in service to the city, and my life has been filled with many satisfactions. It works well enough.”
My voice rang out strongly in the bleak cave, for I believed every word I spoke. It’d always been my life, my reason for living. Thus had I earned my proud position as Gold Warrior. I wouldn’t be seduced away from that so easily.
Eila’s face darkened, and for a second I thought she might strike me. She was right about one thing. I did feel a strange feebleness all over, and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to keep up my Devotions. For that matter, I had no idea how long I’d been here, away from the routines of the city, no idea how many days’ doses I’d missed. Her words had been passionate, and perhaps she believed them as truly as I knew my own life followed the right path. But I thought it far more likely that my weakness came from the disease the planet would visit on the men of the species—the disease I’d been protected from since birth, by many conscientious Mistresses and a magnanimous Queen. The loss of my Devotions frightened me in a new, unknown way.
“Believe what you wish, soldier!” she snapped at me. “I’d thought you an intelligent man, but I can see you’re just a city-bred, like all the others there. You’ll be given some food and some care, but nothing more than the minimum. When you can walk, you’ll work for us. We’ll keep you alive for a while, until we have what we want from you. And I’d suggest you don’t offend me any further, or your time here will be all the more uncomfortable.” She turned sharply as if she didn’t want to look at me any longer, as if she were disgusted with me. “Either way you’ll never see the city again, or your precious Mistress.”
