by Coco Simon
“So the rest are up for grabs?” asked Molly.
“Girls, girls!” said Aunt Melissa. “These were chosen for Lindsay. This is her party. We will find your dresses later!”
“Well, if they like some of these, why not let them try them on?” asked Mimi. “We have so many. Plus, it will save me the trouble of returning all of them!”
Aunt Melissa looked at me. “Are you okay with this? These dresses were for you to choose from.”
I nodded my head. “I made Kelsey try this one on. She loves it, and look how pretty she is in it!”
Everyone gathered around Kelsey. “It is beautiful on her,” said Mimi.
“Well,” said Aunt Melissa. “If you don’t mind me just buying this from you, then we’ll have two girls with dresses for the Fling.”
“Two down!” cried Mimi. “And two to go. Casey and Molly, do you see anything you want to try?”
Casey looked at her mom.
“Go ahead,” Mrs. Peters said. “If the dress store comes to you, why go to the dress store?”
Casey took the pink dress off the rack. “I know you didn’t love this,” she said. “But I do. Can I try it?”
I grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the dressing room. “We’ll be right out!”
The dress had looked nice on me, but it looked amazing on Casey. Casey’s mom pulled it up a little and smoothed down the skirt.
“Oh, I love that on you!” said Mrs. Peters.
“All right, Molly,” I said. “Do you see anything you like?”
Molly smiled. “Well, I kind of like the soccer-field dress,” she said.
We all started laughing. “So try it on!” said Mimi. “Don’t let Sky be your fashion police!”
Molly came out in the dress. She stopped, did a spin, and put her hand on her hip.
“Dahling, I think this might be just fabulous!” she said, and we all laughed.
“You know, it really suits you,” said Aunt Melissa, smiling.
“Let me fix your hair,” said Jenna, pulling Molly’s hair up off her neck.
The green dress looked nothing like a soccer field on Molly; it looked perfect.
“You all need to put on your dresses so we can take a picture!” said Lily.
So we all scrambled into our dresses as Nans scolded us to watch out for all the pins she’d put in them. I was in a blue dress, Casey in pink, Kelsey in silver, and Molly in green.
“It’s a rainbow of pretty!” said Aunt Sabrina. “Get in close so I can fit the whole dress into the shot!”
We stood together, arms around each other, smiling.
“Everyone say, ‘Fall Fling’!” said Aunt Sabrina.
“Fall Fling!” we all yelled, and held still for about a second.
“Dance party!” cried Jenna, and she put on some music.
We were dancing around while Nans and Mimi shouted at us to be careful with the dresses. But we didn’t care. We all grabbed hands and danced, laughing and twirling.
Chapter Eleven Post-Party Chat
Later that night, my dress was hanging on the back of my door and I could see the outline of it in the dark as I pulled up the covers in bed.
Sky had thrown a fit about going to sleep, and through the wall I could hear Dad reading to him to try to soothe him, even though it was late.
I wasn’t supposed to have my phone in my room at night, but I had actually forgotten to leave it downstairs in the charging station, and I was too tired to go back down anyway. I grabbed it and flipped through the pictures Aunt Sabrina sent us from the party. We all looked happy and goofy, and I had to say those dresses looked pretty good on us.
My favorite picture showed me in the middle, smiling and sort of spinning, with everyone around me in a circle, laughing.
I looked hard at that shot. I realized as I scrolled through that both my grandmothers were there, both my aunts, my BFF, and all my girl cousins. There was one person who was missing, of course, and that was Mom.
Dad knocked on my door. “From what I heard, it was a pretty good party,” he whispered, coming in.
By the time Sky and Dad came home, the party had wrapped up and all the dresses had been packed up.
“Dad,” I said, then stopped.
“Yes, honey?”
“I missed Mom tonight.”
Dad sat on my bed. “I did too,” he said. “But I heard your dress was her favorite color.” He squinted at it in the dark.
“It’s true blue,” I said, smiling.
“Sometimes,” said Dad, “I’m reminded of Mom in ways that make me feel like she’s still here.”
“Like a ghost?” I said, alarmed.
“No, no,” Dad said. “Like in the way Sky laughs exactly like her, or the way your dress for the dance ended up being her favorite color.”
“Nans says that we’re like donuts,” I blurted out.
“Hmm,” said Dad.
“She says that we have holes in us, and I guess for me that hole is where I miss Mom.”
“Oh, I see,” said Dad.
“But that like a donut’s shape, we’re surrounded by people, in a tight circle, so that hole doesn’t get any bigger.”
“That’s exactly right,” said Dad. “You have so many people who love you. They may drive you nuts, but they love you. And you might not like that they surround you all the time, but they always have your best interests at heart.”
I laid back on the pillow and yawned. Suddenly I felt really tired.
“Okay, young lady, it’s time for bed.” Dad reached over to switch off my night-table light when I noticed a little bouquet of flowers next to my stack of books.
“Hey!” I said, sitting back up.
There were violets and bluebells in a little vase.
“Oh,” said Dad. “Sky found those today when we were fishing. We weren’t sure where to put them when we brought them home, and Mimi thought maybe you would like them.”
I smiled. “They remind me of Mom,” I said.
“They do,” said Dad, smiling back. “True blue.”
“She’s still here, sort of,” I said, yawning.
“She’s always with us,” said Dad quietly.
I flopped back onto my pillow. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I knew Dad was still sitting on my bed like he did when I was younger, waiting for me to fall asleep, but I was so tired I couldn’t even say good night.
It was nice having him there, and knowing that Sky was asleep on the other side of the wall. Mimi and Nans and Grandpa were all in the house, all of us together, one big circle.
I pulled my blanket tighter, and as my eyelids fluttered, all I saw were shades of blue.
Chapter Twelve A New Beginning
And just like that, before I knew it, it was the first day of middle school. It was still pretty warm, so I just put on a short-sleeved purple T-shirt that Mimi had bought for me, a silver bangle bracelet, and a new pair of jeans. I wanted to look nice and fresh, but I didn’t want to get super dressed up or make too big a deal out of it.
“Well, don’t you look beautiful!” Nans said, as I sat down at the kitchen table.
She plopped down a plate of homemade pancakes (my favorite) in front of me, and I saw she had made a smiley face with syrup.
I laughed. “Thanks, Nans,” I said as I dug into the pancakes.
She was still staring at me. “Yes,” she said, nodding approvingly. “You look perfect. Lovely, but not overly done.”
I smiled at her. “That’s just what I was going for,” I told her.
Then I added, “You remembered Mom used to make pancakes on the first day of school.” Nans nodded.
“And she would always say the same thing to me,” I said. “She used to tell me to have a great day, and to remember to always be my ‘own special self.’ It felt a little silly when she kept saying it as I got older, but by then it was sort of like a first-day-of-school tradition, and she had to say it. I made her say it.”
I smiled at the memory, but the
n I was startled to look up and see Nans’s eyes filling with tears.
Oh no! That was the last thing I wanted.
Luckily, just at that moment, Skylar came bounding into the kitchen.
“Oh boy, pancakes!” he yelled. “Awesome!”
Nans dried her eyes and put a plate in front of him. She tried to lighten the subject.
“What did your mom say to Skylar on the first day of school?” she asked.
I grinned. “Keep your mouth closed when you eat.”
Nans laughed.
* * *
When I walked through the doors of Bellgrove Middle School, I paused in front of the mural that my mom’s students had made in her honor.
I had been worried that seeing it every day would make me sad, but I actually felt really happy when I saw it.
I noticed that some students had painted in bright, cheery colors, and others had sketched in charcoal. Parts of the mural showed wildflowers in bloom (which my mom would have loved), and another section showed a stormy sky, and then another section showed a rainbow.
Each student painted whatever they wanted and didn’t worry about whether it blended in with the rest of the mural. The end result showed so many different personalities and styles that it was all the more beautiful.
I reached out and ran my hand gently across the colors. “Always be your own special self,” I whispered. “Thanks, Mom.”
In that moment I could feel her presence. Even though I couldn’t see her anymore, I knew she was always with me. And I would always have my family and friends to help me through rough times, and make the hole inside me a little smaller.
I took a deep breath and walked into my first class.
More from this Series
So Jelly!
Book 2
Family Recipe
Book 3
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Banana Splits
Keep reading for a preview of
So Jelly!
by
Coco Simon
Chapter One I Don’t Like Change
My friend Sophia was looking at me like I was crazy. “But you have a job!” she said. “That’s so cool!”
I sighed and pushed my bangs off my face. They were really starting to annoy me, and I had to decide if I should just let them grow out or get them trimmed.
“Well, yes and no,” I said. “Yes because it’s cool to work at Donut Dreams, but no because it’s hard work, and I’d rather be doing a lot of other things, like going out for pizza tomorrow with you.”
I work at my family’s restaurant, the Park View Table, after school Fridays and one day on the weekends. This week I’m working on Sunday.
Inside the Park there’s a donut counter, Donut Dreams, that my grandmother started with her homemade donuts, which are kind of legendary around here. I work at the Donut Dreams counter with my cousin Lindsay.
I don’t mind working with my family, but it’s hard when my free time is eaten up by work while my friends get to hang out and do things—like how Sophia, Michelle, and Riley were planning to go out for pizza after school the next day.
“Hey! Are you coming with us tomorrow?” asked Riley as she plunked herself down at the lunch table.
“She’s working,” said Sophia with her mouth full.
“What?” said Riley, and then without waiting for an answer, she called out, “Oh hey, Isabella, over here!” Sophia and I looked up to see Isabella walking toward us.
Sophia, Michelle, Riley, and I have been what my dad calls “four peas in a pod” since we were toddlers. We have other friends too, but everyone knows we’ve always been a crew. But when school started, Riley was suddenly really into hanging out with Isabella, who seems to be joining us at lunch on the regular.
Whenever I complain about having more people around instead of it just being the four of us, my mom always replies, “When it comes to friends, additions are always okay, but subtractions are not.”
So I’m trying to be okay with more friends, but sometimes I’d like to subtract Isabella and just make it Sophia, Michelle, Riley, and me, like it always has been.
Sophia wrinkled her brow a little bit when Isabella sat next to Riley. No one else noticed, but if you’ve known her for eleven years like I have, you’d have noticed.
Michelle uses a wheelchair, and she wheeled her way over to my side. “Scootch over,” she said, and I made room for her.
“Hey, Isabella,” Sophia said.
Isabella put her tray down and looked like she was going to cry.
“What’s wrong?” Sophia asked.
“You guys, I totally think I am going to fail my coding class,” Isabella said. “I just do not get it.”
“Bella, it’s only the second month of school!” said Riley. “You’ll get the hang of it.” I had never really heard anyone call Isabella “Bella” before.
“Yeah, chill out, Isabella,” Michelle said. “Take a deep breath. It’s going to be fine.”
“Ugh,” said Isabella. “It’s just so hard and there’s so much pressure. I mean, they all say that everything starts to matter in middle school if you want to go to college!” she complained.
“You still have a long way until college!” I said. “No need to worry about it now. Trust me, my sister Jenna is in high school. That’s when the pressure really starts.”
That wasn’t entirely accurate. Jenna had been talking about college for a good seven years. Jenna is the oldest of my siblings (she’s a junior in high school) and a little bossy. Actually she’s a lot bossy.
She and Lindsay, and even my adopted sister Molly, who is a few months older than me, are always talking about going away to college. My parents are okay with this, but I can tell they don’t want us to go too far. Jenna talks about how she wants to go to a school in California, which kind of scares me.
She is also always talking about “getting away” from our small town, like it’s some bad place to be. She loves reading about big cities or seeing movies that take place in big cities. One year for her birthday, Jenna asked for a bunch of travel guidebooks to all the big cities in the world, even though she’s only been to one of them: Chicago.
I don’t understand why you’d ever want to leave Bellgrove. This town is home to me. I mean, sure, it would be nice to go somewhere sometimes without being totally recognized, but then again, seeing familiar people is kind of nice.
I like that the person who cuts my hair has been cutting it since I was a baby; that the librarian, Ms. Castro, has known me since even before I could read; and that every year we do the same things, like go apple picking at Green Hills Orchards in September before we get the same hot apple cider at Corner Stop. I like living within a few minutes of just about every single person in my extended family. All those things to me are not just dull things we’re stuck with—they’re traditions and familiar people and they make me feel safe.
I know I’ll have to go to college in another town because there isn’t a college here, but the closest state university, where my mom and dad and aunt and uncle went to school, is about two hours away. Mom keeps reassuring me that I can come home on the weekends if I want to.
When we have these conversations, Jenna just rolls her eyes and says, “Really, Kelsey? Stretch yourself! Open your eyes to new adventures! It’s only two hours away!”
But to be honest, two hours away from everything I know sounds like plenty of an adventure for me.
“So,” Sophia said, jolting me back to the table. “Are you going to try out for the field hockey team like we talked about?”
I nodded. “Yeah, it sounds fun, and Mom really wants me to do something active,” I said.
Mom and Dad are always taking us on walks or bike rides, even when it’s freezing cold outside. I wasn’t too sure how I’d like playing competitively, but I love to be outside, especially in fall when
the air turns crisp and smells so good.
“As long as I can still keep my hours working at the restaurant,” I added.
“But your grandparents own the place where you work!” Riley said. “I’m guessing they can work with your schedule!”
“You’d think,” I said, “but Grandpa is a stickler for not giving us special consideration. We still have to clock in a certain amount of hours, unless our grades slip. School comes first.”
“So if you fail a few tests, you can get out of work,” snorted Isabella, or Bella.
“If I fail a few tests, I’d have a lot more to deal with than missing work,” I retorted, kind of snapping at her. I don’t know why, but Isabella gets under my skin sometimes.
“Well…,” said Riley. She paused, and Sophia and I looked up. “Bella and I were thinking about doing soccer instead of field hockey.”
I caught Sophia’s eyes, which looked as surprised as mine.
“That’s great!” Michelle said. “So now I’ll take photos of the soccer team as well as field hockey.” Michelle takes awesome photos and dreams of being a professional photographer someday.
Riley bit her lip. “The thing is, I’m not sure I’m great at field hockey, and I know I’m a pretty good soccer player, so I want to try out for the team.”
Isabella looked at her and smiled. I had a weird feeling they’d talked about this before. Sophia looked at me.
I shrugged. “Well, you should always do what makes you happy,” I said. “Soph and I will be a team of two on the field hockey team.”
Riley looked at me strangely. “Okay,” she said. “I just don’t want you guys to be disappointed that we all wouldn’t be playing field hockey together. But you’re right, you have each other on the field.”
“Yep, we have each other,” said Sophia.
It was quiet for a second, and then Michelle asked me, “So how is work going?”
I shrugged. “It’s okay. A lot of the time I’d rather be somewhere else, but everyone in the family works there, so it’s my turn to step up. Or at least that’s what Grandpa said.”
