by Willa Okati
He stood, taking Zach by the hands as he did so that he could bring Zach up with him, and supported his weight as he looked down at him. “You’re so cold.” He chafed Zach’s hands gently, frowning when they didn’t warm to his touch. “Is it always like this for Omegas, when they…?”
“Sometimes. Mostly, for me.” Zach struggled against the urge to snatch his hands back ashamed of how thin and chilly they were. Who’d want to hold those? “Yes.”
“Does it have to be that way?”
“Don’t ask me that. God.” Zach dashed a tear away from his eye, impatience making him hit a little too hard. “You know it doesn’t.”
“I do.” Alexander guided Zach’s hand away from his face and held it a bit tighter, clearly to keep him from doing that again -- and Zach let him. He looked down at how Alexander’s hand swallowed his, so much bigger and warmer, and all he could do was swallow, himself, around a knot that wouldn’t go down his throat. “And here’s what I think, Zach. Neither of us can change the past. No one can. But we can change the future.”
“Can we, though?”
“You know we can.” That stubborn, never-dying hope of Alexander’s shone through him. “If you try, with me. If you just try. You’ve been running for too long. It’s time to come home. Let me be yours. Let yourself be mine.”
Zach moved toward him, drawn like a magnet -- then flinched back. “I don’t know how.”
“I can show you.” Alexander touched a fingertip to the soft skin beneath Zach’s left eye, prompting him to open them again, and caught him like a deer in the headlights with how close he was. He could see the hazel starburst around his pupils that made Alexander’s eyes look more green than blue, and was mesmerized. “I want another chance to try.”
Zach shivered once, his lips parting even as he shook his head. “Alexander…”
“No, I mean it. You’ve been so cold for so long, and I want you to come home to me. Let me take care of you and let me love you.” Alexander brushed his mouth against Zach’s.
“Don’t.” Zach cringed. “I taste like vomit.”
Alexander cupped his cheek without a flinch. “Ask me if I care about that right now. Let it be easy, Zach. It could be. This one time, let it be easy. Stay.”
“Why me, though? You’re crazy, Alexander. What have I ever given you except a hard time and a fistful of drama?”
Alexander laughed. “Where do I start? What do you give me? The idea of babies with your sass and my hair, for one. I still want them. Don’t you?”
Zach’s lips parted as he caught his breath.
“And the way we fight? Didn’t it ever occur to you that if I didn’t like it, I never would have been with you in the first place? I know you, Zach.” Alexander reached into his pocket and came out with a chip of peppermint candy that he unwrapped and slipped through Zach’s lips, nestling it on his tongue. “You’ve got so much fire in you, Zach. So much life, so much energy. So much more than you think, and if you chose to share it then you could.”
“You could have that with anyone,” Zach said. One last line of defense. “Any other Omega.”
“All I want is you. Stay with me. Love me, or try to. That’s all I ever wanted. That… and to hear you say it too. The way we couldn’t when we were young, because we didn’t know how -- but we aren’t young now. We can say the right words this time. But it’s your choice. It’s always been your choice. Say yes, Zach. Or say no. Either way, what you say, that’s how it’ll be.”
He held Zach at half-arm’s length and simply watched him then, waiting. The boy he’d once been in the way he drank Zach in, and the man he’d become in the strength of his arms.
Zach turned his wrists so that he could stroke the muscles corded in those arms. Up and down, watching gooseflesh pop up where his fingers brushed. He really didn’t know how, but…
He swallowed and swallowed again. He’d spent so long… but maybe Alexander was right. Maybe the past didn’t have to be a life sentence. And if he could dare to believe that, then…
Then.
Zach took a deep breath and made up his mind. He clawed inside himself until he found the courage he kept buried under the bravado, and he dragged it, kicking and screaming the way he’d lived his life, all the way to the surface.
“I’m staying this time,” he said. “Do you hear me? I’m not running anymore.”
He was terrified, he’d never been so scared, but he lifted himself on his toes, caught Alexander’s face in his hands, and kissed him back. He fell for the last time, and Alexander caught him.
Chapter Six
It was different, this time. Not like the first, back in that basement. Not like the almost-second, with that kiss. Not like the third, split down the middle. This was its own beast, and it didn’t roar. It purred.
Soft kisses, flowing smoothly, peppermint-sweet. Zach tasted Alexander’s skin for the first time in so long. Salty sweat, the last traces of soap from a morning shower, cologne that smelled of red oak and wild earth. He must have looked ridiculous and he didn’t even care a little, his hair tousled in every direction, his mouth wet and red, his clothes askew and half ripped away.
And -- what about Alexander? Big tough Alpha like that, brought to his knees like this by a little bitty Omega? There was a power in that he’d always liked, and it would -- could -- be so very interesting to see what happened if he rose to the moment and bent it to his will.
He could, he thought. He knew how.
And he wanted to. And he could, this time.
Zach laid his palm flat against Alexander’s chest to pause him before he could go too deeply and backed a few steps away. “You have a bed upstairs?”
“I do. It’s big enough for two,” Alexander said, not looking away. As if Zach fascinated him still. “Tell me what you want.”
It still took an effort, but Zach found he had the courage now that he knew where to reach for it. He bent to touch his forehead to Alexander’s and murmured, “For you to take me there. Now.”
* * *
Odds were, Alexander had a nice bedroom. Something elegant and tasteful and as untouched by personality as the rest of his house -- well, before now -- but Zach didn’t bother looking around. Alexander had taken take me there as a literal command, carrying him up the stairs like a silver screen Omega queen and twirling him around to finish that dance before setting him on his feet. “All these years of wanting you, and you’re letting me have you again. I almost don’t know where to start.”
“I think you’ll figure it out,” Zach said. He cocked a hip and made a beckoning gesture. He’d forgotten how much fun it could be to play and tease with a lover, it’d been so long. How remarkable that in one night, he could be this way with Alexander again. “Start with being nakeder than this. Go on. Let me see.”
Alexander’s eyes crinkled at the corners with amusement at being bossed around like that, but he didn’t hesitate to do what he’d been told. When he was naked, fully bare, he turned in a slow circle, finishing with a like what you see? tilt of his head.
“I do. Very much. But now it’s my turn.” Zach let the too-big shirt he’d never buttoned fall off his shoulders. It pooled around his bare feet, leaving him in nothing but a pair of shorts with the inseam halfway torn apart.
Alexander’s pupils dilated, watching him. He let out his breath in a great puff and dropped heavily to the edge of the bed, never looking away.
So he liked that, did he? Zach cupped his cock through his shorts and stroked once, slow and lingering, watching Alexander watch him. The man wanted to eat him alive, didn’t he? It could go to an Omega’s head, if it hadn’t already.
He wanted more.
Zach plucked at the torn seam of his shorts, fraying it away as he shimmied his hips, ever so slowly freeing himself, then stepping out of them. With nothing left to hide behind, and not ashamed -- how could he be, with that kind of hunger in an Alpha’s eye? -- he held his arms out at his sides and let himself be seen. All of him. Stiff co
ck jutting proudly up, feet planted flat and apart, his thighs gleaming.
Alexander shook himself out of his trance and reached for Zach, but there was one more thing. Zach took a half step back and warned, “Don’t let me run, no matter what.”
“I won’t.”
“Hold me to this, all of it.”
Alexander had arms long enough to reach across that half step and collect Zach, reeling him slowly in. “I will.”
“And keep holding me, even when neither of us deserves it.” Zach came to a stop between Alexander’s knees. “Keep me warm.”
“I’ll do that too,” Alexander said, and kissed him.
There was, Zach discovered, another world’s worth of difference in this kiss. One well worth exploring.
He hummed as their mouths parted. “Once, twice, and three times lucky. Let’s try that again, my way.”
Alexander shook his head, slow and wondering and appreciative. “If you tell me what you want.”
“This.” Zach took hold of Alexander’s cock; it hadn’t softened at all, and it was still slippery enough from his own body to stroke hard and fast. “And whatever put that look on your face I saw right before you were in me the last time. I want that.”
Alexander bit the stiff peak of Zach’s left nipple. One tiny nibble, but sharp, sharp enough to make Zach’s belly clench. “Oh, Zach, be careful what you wish for.” He bit the right, making them a matching, aching pair. “You sure you’re ready for that?”
“You think this isn’t ready?” Zach lowered himself to straddle Alexander’s lap. He rolled his hips, making a glorious sticky mess between them, and hummed when Alexander hunched forward with a shudder of appreciation. “I want you so far inside me. I want you to fuck me until you come and I come and I want you to stay inside me until you’re hard again.”
“Oh, you don’t play fair.”
“No,” Zach said. He tilted his weight forward without warning Alexander, all for the fun of tipping him onto his back and putting himself in a very satisfying position astride. “I don’t think anyone’s ever said that I did.”
“Then isn’t it lucky for both of us I like it that way?” Alexander raised himself on one elbow and studied Zach. Finally, he shook his head, but before Zach’s heart could plummet he flipped them to lie side by side and leaned crossways over the tumbled sheets to tug open his bedside table’s top drawer.
Zach watched, not surprised but touched as Alexander rummaged until he found what he wanted, a silver-wrapped packet, and dropped it between them. “I didn’t buy them for anyone in particular. They might be a little old.”
Zach blew a fine layer of dust off the crinkling wrapper and teased, “You think?”
“Wiseass.” Alexander rubbed the tip of his nose against Zach’s, chuckling when Zach swatted at him. “A guy gets into the habit, that’s all. No one’s ever shared this bed with me.”
“Mmm. Good. No one else will ever get to.”
“There’s the Zach I remember,” Alexander said, so admiring that Zach damn near preened. He’d forgotten how much he used to enjoy having fun in bed, teasing and laughing and tweaking each other’s chains.
With a little luck, he’d relearn all his old tricks. He thought he’d like that.
Alexander started to tear the packet open, but Zach reached up, without thinking, to stop him. They blinked at each other, equal in their surprise.
Courage. Zach bit at his lip, then blurted, “You don’t have to.”
Alexander considered it, resting all his weight on one arm, then shook his head. He took the packet back from Zach. “No.” He made a wry, amused sound as he unrolled the rubber and slid it on. “One life changer at a time. I have you again. I can wait for the rest.”
That man. Zach reached up to caress his face, making a purring sound when Alexander pressed his cheek into the touch. Who was acting like they had cat bloodlines now, rubbing up against him like that? “I love you,” he blurted. “I do. I love you.”
Alexander’s smile came out like the sun rising after a long and rainy night. “Would you look at that,” he said. “Two life-changers after all.”
Zach ducked his head, but not for long. Alexander wasn’t done.
“One more thing,” he said. “Do you have any idea how brave you are?”
No, that couldn’t be right. “What?”
“Brave. Courageous,” Alexander said, stroking his face -- and no, he wasn’t lying or trying to butter him up. “You’re right. We were so young. You did what you thought was the right thing, and I know now what it did to you, to make that choice. I don’t think I would have been brave enough.”
Zach stared at him, disbelieving.
“I mean it,” Alexander said. “Every time I think you’re done amazing me…” He skimmed one hand between them and wrapped his fingers around Zach’s cock. Not stroking, seeming simply to enjoy the feel of him and appreciate how even so light a touch made Zach roll his hips and groan. “I think I understand what you’re saying, and why. But I’m not forcing anything anymore. We’ll see what we’ll see, go as we go, and we’ll handle it together.”
Zach had to reach for his hand and take it. “There. There’s the third life-changer.”
“Good.” Alexander lowered himself, finally, to kiss Zach, so deep, so sweet and so good.
Zach wrapped his arms around Alexander’s neck and raised himself to meet the man halfway. Even better.
“What do you want?” Alexander asked between kisses. “Anything you want. Name it.”
“Mmm.” Zach leaned back, letting Alexander hold him up. He let his head tilt as he breathed deeply. His body hummed, and the urge, the driving need was still there, but it’d been tamed and purred like an engine. Idling, but ready to leap when it was told. Only he got to choose that too, now.
So many choices. He licked his lips lazily, letting the ideas tumble through his mind, chuckling when for all his romantic words Alexander started to shift impatiently.
What he really wanted was… well, why not?
“I want this.” Zach raised himself on his knees, slid forward, and took Alexander in hand to show him what he meant, and where he wanted the Alpha. He arched both head and spine, posing a little, but no one there minded.
Not Alexander, who took hold of Zach’s hips to help him out. “Oh God,” he breathed. “Yes. This.”
Though his eyes were still closed, Zach let his mouth curve into the wide smile he felt from the inside out. “That. And maybe this.”
He let his other arm drift down to touch himself too, and stroked light, deft, as Alexander guided him down, bringing him home.
Zach bit his lip as the emptiness inside him was filled, and more than. No matter what else had happened that night, Alexander was more than most could handle, and for a moment his head didn’t know whether it was coming or going or going to come in less than a minute. Maybe all of the above. If he did, he wouldn’t be alone. But an Alpha’s strength of will…
“Need a minute?” Alexander held himself stiller than any man would want to and kneaded at his hip, gazing up at him in a way that Zach could feel without having to see it.
He breathed out -- and -- he knew how to do this, when he let himself -- let his body open, let himself ease the way. “No.”
“Do you want a minute?”
Zach laughed. “No.”
“Good.”
He rode the roll when Alexander sat up to balance Zach in his lap, still joined, and wrapped him up to hold him close, and that was the last of the -- gentleness -- but not the intimacy of this time. Alexander’s mouth was on his, all the hunger he’d held in check unleashed. Ready to eat him alive and lick the bones left behind clean. Zach gave back as good as he got, the way Alexander liked it, biting when Alexander bit, meeting him thrust for thrust. They melted together, liquid where they weren’t hard, and hard where they needed to be. His big, broad hand jostled Zach’s out of place and encircled him on the right side of too hard, the way Zach liked it.
> “Ohh,” Zach moaned as he leaned into Alexander’s presses and pushes, his hips moving into the touch and taking Alexander deeper at the same time. He knew what it would feel like, muscles flexing and squeezing around Alexander, and when Alexander sped up he did too. Tempo and rhythm, they had both, and even when one missed a beat the other caught them and pulled them back.
Zach only stopped once, panting, though he didn’t stop Alexander. His throat worked, swallowing hard, but not in fear.
He made the choice to be brave, as brave as Alexander believed him to be. Took Alexander’s face in his hands to kiss him as deeply as he wanted to -- had wanted to for so, so long.
“Oh fuck. Oh, fuck.” Alexander buried his face in Zach’s shoulder as he swelled inside, locking their bodies together. Nothing would separate them now, not until the end. “Fuck, Zach, oh fuck,” he repeated, slurring it together as he said it over and over, a rush of noise like music in the background. “Zach, Zach --”
Zach took in a sharp, shocked breath as it all become too much, almost too fast, and he couldn’t have stopped if he’d wanted to, he couldn’t have helped coming with a full-throated keen that made his throat and chest burn. Alexander’s mouth fastened on his neck, because he couldn’t have not followed an Omega’s lead there, coming the way Zach knew in his heart he wouldn’t have in years. Seven years.
They took forever at it, and not long enough, but when they fell against each other, shaking in every muscle and lax with satisfaction, the last kiss -- this time -- was ripe with satiation, and that went on and on until they weren’t kissing but only moving their mouths together, each tasting the other’s scent and breath. Their bodies parted on their own, though Zach didn’t budge from Alexander’s lap before he eased them both down to lie on the bed in the glorious mess they’d made together.
Zach couldn’t wipe the smile off his face, and it only widened when Alexander flipped onto his stomach to nuzzle under his chin.
“Say it one more time?” he asked, hand over Zach’s heart with the fingers spread open.
Zach covered Alexander’s hand. “I love you.”
