by Erin Trejo
“What is that?” Ava leaps up behind me, grasping my shirt in her shaking hands.
“I don’t know. Stay behind me.” Holding her behind me, I move slowly toward the door. It’s still standing open, but I can’t see anything or anyone. The noise downstairs has ceased. The silence has grown eerie.
“Stay here. Get in the closet.” Turning to Ava, she shakes her head rapidly.
“No. Don’t leave me, Cord.” Her hands shake as she reaches for me. Her fingers tangle in the front of my shirt before I grab them in one of mine.
“I mean it! I can’t sit here and debate this with you. Get in there!” Growling at her, she loosens her grip. I press my lips to her head before shoving her.
“Go!” Ava starts to move toward the closet but stops.
“I love you, Cord.” Blowing her a kiss, I wave her toward the door. When I see she’s safely closed in, I head out into the hallway. I cautiously make my way down the hallway when I hear shots once more. Who the hell could be in here? How would they have gotten past security?
“Fuck!” I hear Jordy growl the closer I get to the stairs.
“Jordy!” Howling his name into the darkness, he appears before me holding his arm.
“What the hell is going on?” Shaking his head, he holds his finger to his lips. Ushering me back down the hallway, he shoves me into my office. Slowly closing the door, he turns to me.
“I don’t know who they are. We need to get you out of here.” Shaking my head, that’s not an option.
“You’re hurt. Let me see it.” Jordy yanks his arm away from me before shoving me back slightly.
“Let me do my job, Cord. I’m fine. Where is Ava?” Oh, God.
“Amelia’s room.” Footsteps can be heard in the hallway. My stomach clenches the closer they get.
My heart races when Jordy pulls the door open. So close to shooting, he lets out a growl. His hands fly out of the door, yanking Ava back through it.
“Goddamn it! I almost killed you!” I grab Ava by the arm yanking her into my chest. The growl that rips out of me could be heard for miles.
“I told you not to move.” Her eyes flicker with fear. I slam my lips into hers as Jordy huffs.
“Could we go please.” Grunting out my response, I wrap my arm around Ava.
“We have to get to the guest room. We can get out the window that way.” Nodding my agreement, Jordy cracks the door to look out before motioning for us to move. Ava’s body shakes under my grasp. I can’t help but feel so helpless right now. Shots ring out through the hallway when I hear Romero screaming.
“Get the fuck out!” Shots keep sounding off before I’m hit. I can feel it burning its way into my chest as I fall to the floor.
“Jordy! Get her out of here!” Screaming to him, Ava latches onto me.
“I’m not leaving you, Cord!” Her screams are panicked and out of control. She has to get out of here.
She has to live for our daughter. Jordy drops to my side while Romero fires behind us.
“Get her out!” He grabs Ava as she screams for me. It rips my heart out hearing her like that.
It’s killing me, but I need her to be safe. A few minutes later, I don’t hear her. I know Jordy did as he was told and got her out.
“Cord. Come on. Let’s move.” Romero grabs at me but my chest seizes up. The pain is nothing I’ve ever felt before.
“Just go.” Waving him off, he chuckles.
“That isn’t part of my job, Boss.” Yanking me by the arm, I hoist myself up using him as leverage. Romero is halfway dragging me down the hall toward the guest room, while shooting in the opposite direction.
“Come on. I have Rick down there ready for you.” His screams could be heard for miles.
He drags me through the door where I see the open window. A breath of relief escapes my lips knowing that Jordy got her out. I need her to be safe more than anything. Climbing out the window, I throw my foot into the metal throw down ladder and make my way to the ground.
“I got you.” I hear Rick’s voice before I feel him pulling on me. I let go, to be pulled away from the ladder and straight to a waiting car.
“Tell me Jordy got her out of here?” Screaming more than anything, the car starts.
“He got her out, Boss.” I breathe a sigh of relief. She’s safe. For now, anyway.
“Do we know anything about who that was?” I catch a glimpse of Rick’s eyes in the mirror and I know he doesn’t know.
“No. Sorry, Boss. As soon as you’re at the safe house, I’m going back. I called in our guys at NYPD. We’ll get it cleaned up and figured out.”
Chapter 46
The ride out to the safe house does nothing but give me time to think. Who the hell would have been able to infiltrate the security I had setup? Who could have known where they were placed? You can’t see the guys from the outside roads. This had to be an inside job.
“Fuck!” Slamming my hands against the seat, Rick looks at me in the mirror briefly. He doesn’t say a word, and he doesn’t need to. He’s thinking the same thing that I am. There’s a fucking rat in the family. Someone that knew we would be home. The ride to the safe house takes longer than it should. At least that’s how I feel. As soon as we pull into the driveway, my chest tightens. Whoever it was, will also know about this place.
Was this a warning? Where they sending me a message? Who the hell can I trust, now? I dial Nikolai’s number as the car comes to a stop at the front doors.
“Hey, Boss.” He sounds happy. Glad someone is.
“You haven’t heard about the breach?”
“Just got that message. I was in a meeting with some of Luciano’s guys. Did you make it out okay?” My mind whirls with things that it shouldn’t.
“Yes. We’re good. When are you coming back?”
“A few more days.” I don’t say bye. I don’t say anything. I end the call and climb out of the car, heading straight toward the door. I eye the guards that now line the stairs wondering which one of them it could be. Who would fucking turn on me like that? The door flies open as my chest burns.
“Doc’s here. Let’s get you looked at.” Jordy reaches for me, but I brush him off. I need to see her. I need to see with my own eyes that she’s okay.
“Where is she?” I growl as I look around the main room. I don’t see her.
“She’s upstairs, Cord. Let the Doc look at you.” Shaking my head, I take the stairs two at a time. Never mind the fact that my chest is on fire. I just need to lay my eyes on her. Moving swiftly down the hallway, I shove through the bedroom door to find her curled up on the bed.
“You’re okay.” It wasn’t a question. She’s okay.
“Cord.” Ava leaps off the bed rushing toward me. Throwing her arms around my neck, I pull her body against mine. Inhaling all that is Ava, I lose myself in her. I can’t help it. This is all I want.
“I’m so sorry. So fucking sorry.” Ava’s body tenses before she pulls back a little. Looking into my eyes, I don’t know what to say.
“You’re sorry for what? You didn’t do this.” So sweet and full of life. How does she not see that I am the cause of all of this?
“I caused this. I caused our daughter to become missing.” Ava shakes her head before stepping out my grip.
“Is everything about you, Cord?” Her eyes plead with me, but for what I don’t know.
“What does that mean? This isn’t about me. This is about you, and Amee. All of my fucked up past has come to this! Don’t you see that?”
Ava paces the room, as do I. My chest screams in pain, but this is far more important. I need to think about who would possibly turn their back on me.
“Goddamn rat.” Mumbling to myself, Ava stops. She turns to look at me before walking closer.
At first, I think she’s going to step into me, hold me, but when she pulls the gun from the back of my pants, I’m shocked.
“What are you going to do with that?” My breathing calms. I want answers from her now. She’s intr
iguing me even more with her actions.
“You want to drag our daughter into this life?” She looks at the gun in her hand but never once at me.
“No, I don’t want her in this life, Ava.” Her giggles aren’t genuine. They are full of fear and hate.
“But you have people looking for her, to bring her back to this.” What is she saying? Does she not want her back?
“I have people looking to bring her back to you, to me. I’m bringing her back to us, Ava. Her parents! Her family!” Now her eyes come to rest on mine and there is something dark in them. Something I’ve never seen before, but it sparks a need deep within me.
“Her family. Her family is me! You’re a murderer, Cord. Is that the life you want for her?” It’s as though a knife has been plunged into my chest. Her words cut deep, deeper than I knew she could.
“She’s my daughter, Ava. I want my daughter.” A shiver rolls over my body as her eyes ignite in flames.
“She’s my daughter! I’ve raised her!” She can’t be doing this right now.
“You stole her away from me! Do you think for one second, that had I known about her, that I wouldn’t have come looking? Are you completely insane?” Screaming louder now, I take a step toward her when she raises the gun, aiming it directly at me. My heart races. There is something so sexy about seeing her standing there with that gun in her hand, so in control of her emotions.
“You want to kill me, Ava?” I step closer causing the end of the gun to press into my chest. Ava watches me, waiting. What she’s waiting for, I don’t know.
“You want my daughter to end up like Amelia.” Her words slice open every old wound that I had. I’m bleeding to death inside. She’s killing me over and over again.
“You think I wanted Amelia dead?”
“You didn’t care about her. You could have done more!” I know I could have. That thought plays over and over in my mind. It never leaves or stops. Those little facts don’t let me sleep at night.
“Pull the trigger, Ava. Release me from the hold the darkness has on me. I’m ready.” Her eyes burn through me. She can see that I’m not playing. She has always been able to see right through me.
“I don’t want my daughter to live in fear. I don’t want her to be taken, and have God knows what done to her. She’s too perfect and beautiful to be used as a pawn in your game of life!” The gun pushes into my chest further. Her anger is all that she’s holding onto. I always knew that this life would take me. I’ve always known that I would go out like this, but at the hands of the woman that I love? I didn’t see that coming.
“Give me all your hatred. Take it all out on me. Spit it all in my soul, Ava! Kill me! I will take it all with me. Don’t hold onto any of this because it will ruin your fucking life!” A single tear slides down her cheek before she lowers the gun.
It falls to the floor with a thud before she looks back up at me. We watch each other in a heated stare. She should have pulled the goddamn trigger. It would have made the rest of her life easier. She could have escaped me, my demons.
“It ruined your life, Cord. I thought that I could save you. I was naive and stupid.” She looks so defeated, like she’s lost the game of life.
I grab her shoulders roughly, shaking her slightly.
“Look at me.” Her eyes slowly move to meet mine.
“You did save me. You have no idea how much so. Every waking minute has been consumed by you! All I’ve wanted was you. I hated myself for pushing you away, but you have to know that I did it to protect you.” She understands me. She knows why I did what I did.
“But now you want us both. How is that going to work, Cord? What changes are going to be made that will ensure that we are safe?” Her voice has calmed but the storm inside of her is raging on.
“You’re right. I can’t assure you of anything. There is only one thing that I am sure of, and that is I love you. I love you and Amee, more than my own life. If I have to step away, if that’s what you want, I will do it. I won’t like it, but I will fucking do it.” More tears fall before she lowers her eyes to my chest.
“Oh God. That’s a lot of blood, Cord.” Her fingers go to work unbuttoning my shirt.
One by one, she undoes the buttons before sliding her hands over my stomach.
“Tell me you don’t want me to go, Ava.” She pushes my shirt down my arms letting it fall to the floor. Her eyes travel over my body setting it on fire.
“The doctor needs to look at this.” Shaking my head, I reach for her, lifting her chin.
“Tell me, you don’t want me to go.”
It takes all I have in me not to break down and lose control. The look in her eyes scares the hell out of me. I don’t know what’s running through her head right now. She’s lost and scared.
“Cord, this isn’t the time for me to answer that. I’m afraid I might say the wrong thing.” Her fingers don’t stop moving over my skin. She’s so soft and perfect.
“Tell me what you want, Ava.” My heart pounds in my chest. All my nerves are firing off, one by one.
“I want my daughter. I want a family that I never got to have. I want everything to be perfect. I want to feel safe. But most of all. I want you, Cordae. I just want you.” I can’t take it anymore.
I reach for her, wrapping my hands around her neck, my thumbs caressing her throat.
“You have me, Ava. You’ve always had me.” Our kiss is frantic. As much as I know I need to look at this attack from every angle, I can’t focus without her. My mind wanders, it blurs. I need this woman more than I need the air to breathe. She is my air.
“I need you too, Ava. I always have. From the time you stepped into my life, that’s all I’ve wanted.” Ava pulls my mouth back to hers. Her tongue demands entrance into mine as she takes what she wants from me. She surprises me at every turn. She has a magic about her that I want, I need.
“Get on the bed.” When she demands me, my cock comes to life. The look in her eyes is feral, yet sexy as hell. I know where my focus needs to be but that’s not going to happen when she’s looking at me like that.
“Yes, Ma’am.” Working the button on my pants, I slide them to the floor as I make my way toward the bed. I lay down once I’m naked, and I watch her. Her eyes stay on mine, sparkling with the light in the room. She stalks toward me, licking her lips. She’s beyond anything I’ve ever seen. Ava climbs up the end of the bed, slowly crawling toward me. She pushes up, pulling her clothes off as she stands over me.
My eyes linger on her legs. I slowly drag my eyes over the rest of her when she throws her shirt to the floor.
“So beautiful,” I whisper the words as she watches me. Ava slowly lowers her body down before grabbing my cock in her hand. She positions it where she wants it, before sliding down the length of me.
“Ava!” God, the things she can make me feel are beyond my wildest dreams.
She rocks her body slowly on me while her fingers travel over my skin. I watch her face. Her eyes closed, lip between her teeth. She’s perfect for me. She’s everything I want and need, so why do I push her away? Ava quickens her pace. I can’t handle much more. I need to explode in her.
“I can’t hold on very long this time.” Grunting the faster she moves, I know she can’t either. Her nails dig into my skin before her pussy clenches around me.
“Cord!” Screaming my name, she drags me into ecstasy with her. Her juices flow around me as I fill her with everything I have. She feels too good not to.
“I love you.” Letting those three words flow freely makes everything seem right.
All the wrong I’ve done seems right with her.
Chapter 47
I woke up earlier than usual. I couldn’t stop thinking about Amee. I need to find her. I need to bring her home. A piece of me knows that it will be a mistake, though. I know what plans I have I set into motion and it rips me in half to even think about leaving Ava again. I have no choice this time. I have to finish this. This war that is happening needs to come
to an end.
I’ve checked in with Nikolai and called a meeting with Juno. If my daughter is still in Italy, I need to get over there, and quickly. I need guns that are untraceable. Juno can handle that. I scrub my hand over my face before looking in the mirror. I look at myself, so worn out, and washed up. This is what this life is doing to me. I took the oath to be what this family needed to be, but at what cost to me. It’s torn me apart.
My eyes are darker than they’ve ever been. There’s so much hatred and rage built up inside of me that I have no idea how to handle it. This darkness has always been a part of me. It’s been my solitude, my retreat.
I can’t have Ava and Amee if I carry this around with me. They are the light in heaven, whereas I am the dark in hell. I can’t have it both ways.
“What are you thinking?” Her voice surprises me. I turn to see her standing in the doorway to the bathroom. She looks as beautiful as ever. Even though she just rolled out of the bed, she’s stunning.
“I have a meeting in a few hours. I want to go back to Italy.” Ava shakes her head before stepping toward me.
“Is that a good idea?” I let out a soft sigh before turning toward her.
“There’s a rat in this family. I need to find out who it is, but Amee comes first. I need to find our daughter.” She looks taken aback. Maybe she should be. Family was always to come first. I made it that way.
“Where will we go?” I know the fear is all too real for her right now.
“I haven’t figured that out yet. I can only trust Jordy right now. I need to figure out the rest of this.” Ava stands still as that settles over her.
I haven’t had time to think this through. I don’t like the idea of leaving Ava here when I don’t know who the fucking rat is.
“How do you feel?” Change in plans. I can’t leave her again.
“Fine. Why?” Scrubbing my hand over my face, I reason this out in my head. We were attacked in our own home. Someone can’t be trusted, but who? Jordy and Romero did save our asses but what happens if I’m not here? Will the same person go after them to get to Ava? They didn’t seem to care that they were in the house at that time.
