"I don't want to hear this."
She clenched her hand on me. "Seems you do…?"
I realized my shaft was thicker and I jerked in shock.
She said, "One guy said I was practically naked, like my suit was painted on. He said he wanted to rub himself all over me naked and that I was the sexiest girl at the party."
There was no doubt at all that my dick thought differently than my doubts. It was thickening further. She began shifting her hand, massaging and finally stroking it. I was amazed that I could attain an erection after all that had happened and I was forced to deal with an abrupt dilemma: I didn't want her getting perved by other guys, but my dick was responding.
The mix between jealousy and arousal was potent and perplexing. The jealousy produced some anger in me and I was good now at turning the anger into lust. Was there that much difference between jealousy and anger? The enormity of my predicament left me mute as I mulled over my insanity. I knew I was slipping and my hold on sanity was insufficient.
She stroked me and smiled. "You pretend to be mad, but you get so excited when guys flirt with me. Did you like them all touching me?"
I gasped and my dick flexed happily, even if my brain was horrified at the thought. I didn't want her to flirt. I didn't want…
I didn't…
I watched her hand in horror as it slid up and down my stiff shaft.
If ever I scorned and scoffed the idea that men had two heads, I was tragically attuned now to that truth. My bigger head wanted Tessa all to myself. My littler, more powerful head, wanted… guys to touch her. I twisted over towards her, climbing up to my knees.
Her sweet smile was eager, and she spread for me to mount her.
I panted frantically, chest heaving with surrender to the lust raging in my dick. Shaking, trembling, and awkward, I got between her legs as fast as I could and drove my erection home. I stuffed her hard, sliding in deep.
She squeezed her eyes shut briefly, then opened them. She was very wet inside. "Were you hard when all those guys were touching me?"
I thrust as if panicked.
She continued, softly, "I liked their hands on me. It felt so good."
I groaned heavily as my cock swelled. "Did you… want to be naked with… that guy you kissed?"
She bit her lower lip, eyes sparkling, and wriggled under me. "That might have been fun. Should I have gotten his number?"
I gasped and went still.
Prodded by my sudden cessation, she said, "I know his name. Maybe I can find him on Twitter and send him a message?"
I exploded with a rolling burst of cum out of my swollen dick. I humped frantically, surrendering to the orgasm that ripped so urgently from me. I filled her with all the lust and excitement that vibrated in my erection until I was totally spent. Unfortunately, then, my little head went silent and satisfied, leaving my bigger head appalled and regretful that my dick had taken control.
Abandoned by the fleeting fever of our fuck, I felt nothing now but sickness – deep, ugly sickness.
CHAPTER 15
I kept her away from parties; the twisting knot in my guts prevented me from allowing it. Such a brilliant plan also robbed me of any repeat erections: I hung as limp as ever. Months passed and… nothing.
No reactions.
No twitches.
No erections.
With each passing week, I became ever more disconsolate and assured that this time, the Erectile Dysfunction was permanent.
I bought her a couple of dildos and played with her; there was really nothing else I could do. Her attempts at talking me to erection using other guys flirting with her all failed.
I didn't know why it didn't work, but I was relieved.
Spring brought something safe: her family reunion. She was eager, joyous, and thrilled. That I was invited, too, made her even happier. To be there with her had the opposite effect on me – none of her family liked me in the least bit.
She wore a more conservative skirt that ended billowy, just above the knee. Her pink, sleeveless blouse was safe and even safer around her family; none of them would be checking her out or flirting with her and I felt as unencumbered with worry as I had in months. I judged my ability to suffer through the reunion was good enough to let her have fun visiting all her relatives.
The event was held at a park retreat with little cabins and a huge recreation room. It looked too sunny to me and even at the end of April was almost too hot to stay outside.
I searched for shade as soon as I got out of the car.
Tessa latched onto me and pulled, jumping eagerly forward like a happy dog out for a walk. I breathed deeply, trying to find the sublime that would allow me to endure.
People were about and in groups.
Tessa stopped, waved, and greeted each one on the way to the pavilion where she had spotted her mother.
At least there's shade there… But I made a face of annoyance, anyway, because I hated her mother and she hated me. As we drew closer, I felt bands of badness tighten across my chest. I'd rather be teaching a deaf guy with no arms how to wax a Ferrari.
Tessa was smiling so wide it looked like it hurt. "Hi, mom!"
Her mother was a pleasant woman to everyone else but who held nothing but the dourest disapproval for me. Her bright smile turned to a twisted look of disgust as she turned her eyes from her daughter to me. She might have found mildew in her shower and the expression would likely have been no less conspicuous. She almost groaned with disappointment, "Clark…"
"Hello… Gina…" I applied as much scorn on her name as I could.
Her face twitched and ticked. She turned her head away as if wanting to avoid seeing something so disgusting.
Tessa bounced on her feet. "Donny!"
My eyes shifted away from Gina to the guy.
He was holding a wrapped popsicle and opening his arms to embrace my wife. "Hey, Tess."
She hugged him tightly and let go. Her eyes lit on the popsicle. "Oh, my favorite. I'm going to grab one—"
He laughed. "I think they only had two. I saw Aunt Carly with one and I got the only other. Not many outfits carry chocolate peanut butter sicles."
Tessa pouted. "I want some."
He chuckled wickedly and unwrapped it. His eyebrows moved once suggestively and he held it down and out by his jeans – like a dick.
I blinked. He's doing this right in front of her mom?
Tessa didn't hesitate and squatted down with a laugh. She gripped his thighs and opened her mouth over the popsicle, taking it in like it was his dick.
I gaped.
Her head moved back and forth as she looked up at him.
Worse, Gina folded her arms and gave me such a satisfied look that I gaped at her, too.
Like, what the actual fuck? I'm sure the pained look of confused outrage on my face must have been evident because Gina's smug look became supreme.
Bouncing into the small group was another girl who was blonde, bright, and bursting with curls. She skidded to a stop and gaped as hard as I was. Her tone was filled with all the shock and outrage I was experiencing. "Donny!"
"What? She's my cousin, Tessa."
She put both fists to hips and glared up at his face.
Tessa bit off the end and licked her lips suggestively at Donny.
He said, "Tess, this is my wife, Hailey."
I pulled her up and hauled her away. When we were at a safe distance, I said, "How could you do that? I mean, like right in front of your mother!"
She giggled. "Who do you think I learned that from?"
"What?"
"I saw her do that to my uncle once. It was hilarious."
"Wait… her own brother?"
"Well, no, her sister's husband." She looked up at me curiously. "What? Everyone laughed. It was funny."
I rubbed a hand back over my hair. "Your mother?"
"Come on, Clark, it's just… a little family joke. I've done that to Donny lots of times before. In front of everyone."
&
nbsp; I was on the verge of hyperventilating, but I began to wrestle it under control. "Your mother? Figures…"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"She gave me a shitty look when you did that – like a challenge. She really doesn't like me."
She shook my arm and changed the subject. "Try to be nice, okay? This is my family."
All at once, the tension in me deflated in defeat. "Yeah, sure…"
"Really."
"I'll be nice."
And I found myself seated across from her mother at dinner. The long picnic table in the fading light of day was breezy and comfortable – except that Gina just had to sit across from me. Worse, Donny sat on the other side of Tessa on my right. They were almost immediately huddled together talking and laughing.
Gina gave me satisfied looks.
I twisted my lips in a grimace at her and tried to pretend my wife wasn't talking to her cousin instead of me. The hot breeze of the day did little to cool the itch on my skin and the tablecloths of the picnic tables fluttered and flapped forlornly in response. The gusts were sometimes sharp and I only had to be careful when my cup of fountain soda got low and in danger of being lifted away.
Even the gusts conspired to betray me.
The aunt next to me on my left smelled of something sour and musky – likely a perfume considered posh and expensive, but unpleasant nonetheless to the nose. She deliberately avoided talking to me, much less look at me. When the gusts died, her strange odor assaulted me. I tried to time the lessening of the breeze and gusts to looking away towards my Tessa.
Done with my drumstick, I held my plastic soda cup to keep it from lifting off for Mars. The tablecloth flapped noisily and I was appreciative for all of a few seconds that it caused much of the conversation to cease or be held close. In this case, Tessa was no longer talking to Donny, but had a strange, glazed look on her face. Her mouth hung open as if panting after a run or as if she had seen a shocking picture. Her eyes, however, avoided mine and stared down at her plate. Her hands were down at her sides and her left hand between us twitched.
Donny was leaning away from her a little, though they still sat together, touching. His face was angled away and his chin was propped up by his palm.
Suspicion led to thoughts of betrayal.
I leaned back quickly and scrutinized my wife.
Both she and Donny stiffened, shifting fast with a twitch and a jerk.
I lifted the flap of the tablecloth and looked down into my wife's lap. His hand wasn't there, but her skirt was rumpled up and her thighs exposed. Donny twisted away from her so that his back was almost to us.
She looked at me with surprise and question. "What?" It wasn't delivered with sincerity, though, and was filled with duplicitous guilt – as if she were a teenager challenging me to describe exactly what I thought in hopes she could deny it for some obscure little reason based on my perceptions.
But there was nothing except my suspicions. Had they been holding hands? Had he been rubbing her thigh? "Nothing," I said. I looked away in disappointment with myself. Not only could I not get an erection, but I couldn't produce tangible, concrete confirmations of anything that tormented my mind.
Her mother was giving me another smug look.
As I scowled at her, Tessa got up and excused herself, somewhat hesitantly, to use the facilities.
I dreaded being alone with her mother sitting across from me and staring with all the satisfaction of a cat who had drank all the milk. I looked away.
Donny fumbled around and shifted back, giving Gina an airy look of expectation. Tessa's mother blushed and gave him a suggestive, demure smile of guile and goad.
Both of them tried not to look at me but both failed simultaneously.
What the fuck is going on between them? Whatever it was involved me. I half expected young Donny to attack me as Gina cheered him on, but no such thing happened. Trying to avoid the uncomfortable air between all three of us, I finished off my soda and pretended to look elsewhere.
The uncle who was sitting next to Gina and across from Tessa and Donny's spot said, "We should do this more often. Getting everyone together is a… huge chance… to reconnect. Right, son?"
Donny nodded.
Ah, so his father.
Gina giggled and touched his arm, eyes sparkling. Was this the man with whom she had made the popsicle stunt?
I looked to his other side and studied the woman. The aunt over there looked much more like Gina than the man. She was looking proudly at her husband and occasionally giving her sister Gina approving looks. Twice, her eyes flicked to me and her face went cold and rigid.
Outsider. I read that in her expression instantly. Hey, no problem; fuck you, too. I don't want to be a part of your family. I drew in a breath of sufferance and looked away.
Donny had gotten up and was carrying his plate and cup to the trash receptacles.
I scowled at him for a second, then looked back. Gina, her sister, and the uncle were all staring at me. I swallowed at the social audacity they exhibited with the obviously exclusionary expressions. I rolled my eyes and turned my head to the odorous aunt who thought her perfume was special. She wasn't looking at me and I was at least able to avert my eyes from Tessa's weird relatives.
After a few minutes of doing nothing, I decided I didn't want to sit any longer. I got up woodenly and took my plate and cup to the trash receptacle. That's when I noticed that Tessa still hadn't returned. Neither had Donny. Frowning with annoyance, I was certain a little looking would produce the giggling pair flirting with each other or something – maybe another popsicle joke of some sort filled with sexual suggestion. I ground my teeth together in jealousy.
I walked purposely, looking, poking my head in the rec center, peering around corners until I stopped at a sound. I might have been mistaken, but in a lull in the gusty breeze I thought I had heard a gasp.
Male? Female?
I racked my instant memory. Had it been light and female? I stood there between two buildings – one a shed and the other a two-story white structure that held some offices and staff facilities. A third building was one of the little cabins, but over on this side was likely a staff hut. I planted my feet still on the grass as the gasp came again, followed by a rush of breath.
Someone was getting hot and sexual, by my guess. Was it staff? Or was it my wife? Surely not Tessa, right? I clenched my fingers into fists. Which way had that gasp come from? The arrangement of the buildings caused echoes and I couldn't determine direction for shit.
A low, light moan wafted between the buildings. It didn't contain any kind of accent in the way foreigners might moan with the inflection of a different language. Maybe not the help. Probably not the help. Possibly Tessa? I strained, hoping the breeze wouldn't pick up again, but it did. A gust blew through and swirled hot dust across the grass and around my ankles.
The moan came again, louder, competing badly with the sound of the wind. I gnashed my teeth in aggravation at the intrusion of nature that clouded my sense of direction. Was the moan and gasps coming from one of the windows? I scanned upward. All the windows of the tall building were open. So were the ones on the hut. The shed wall facing me was blank. I took a few steps, straining harder to detect anything. I needed another moan. Was I going away, or coming closer?
A masculine combo of groan and sigh echoed lightly between the buildings.
Frantic, I searched the white walls. Was it from there? Up there? Or over there? I twisted and turned, whirling with certainty that someone was having sex and maybe the woman involved was my wife. Warring inside me was my sanity that suggested Tessa certainly might joke with her cousin but definitely wouldn't actually do anything with him, and my jealousy which pounded my suspicions deeper that maybe my wife had found a guy to flirt with among the help. But would she have sex so fast?
A very long moan of relief and satisfaction echoed distantly. I went back to the spot where I had originally heard the noise and looked around wildly. I wanted to ca
ll out, but I held my tongue because I wanted to be sure. Except that the long moan had definitely sounded like Tessa.
A faint sighing murmur reached my aching ears. "I really missed this…"
Whoever was having sex had done it before.
Male gasps answered her, followed by silence.
What had happened?
Was I imagining something sexual when nothing at all was happening? Was it or was it not my wife making the intermittent noises? I ground my teeth together in futility as I tried to gauge where the sounds were coming from. I circled the shed and looked at the next nearest building. I stopped, waiting for another directional clue.
A male groan, louder, but now more distant.
I hurried back around and waited.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I looked up at the two story building and wondered if I was catching a couple of staff going at it in secret. I swallowed hard, thinking Tessa might be back at the picnic tables. Would it profit me to go look and be mollified if I found her? But what if she was here and not there?
A louder and very sexual feminine expression echoed around me. I went cold in the heat because this noise had definitely sounded like Tessa. What was she doing? Where was she? I kept looking up at the open windows, but there was nothing to see. I wanted to call out, demanding to know where she was, but if I did, I knew the two would grow immediately wary and silent. No, I needed to find her so that there was incontrovertible proof to my eyes of what my ears told me was happening.
Silence again.
If I called out and she was doing things like using the exercise room or getting a massage, I would be embarrassed in front of whomever. I definitely needed to be certain before I made a fool of myself.
Unfortunately, I was stuck. The spot between the three buildings provided the loudest audible aura of echoes. This spot was the closest and there were no nearby doors. If I barged into the two story building, I wouldn't know which floor or room might hold the pair. I could look, but then I would miss out on the sounds – and right now, the sounds were my only connection to the truth.
I trembled with sweat, cold and hot at the same time, and clenched my fists and jaws.
Jealousy Page 9
