by Christi Snow
Luke had the fleeting thought about whether he should take Daniel to the emergency room. Had he purged enough to no longer be in danger of alcohol poisoning?
Daniel had passed out on the edge of the toilet.
Luke shook him. “Daniel, I need you to wake up. Did you take anything other than alcohol tonight?” Alcohol alone could totally fuck him up, but if there was more at play here it became that much worse.
Daniel didn’t respond.
Luke patted his cheek. “Come on, Daniel. It’s Luke. I need you to wake up for a bit.”
Daniel’s eyes fluttered open and Luke really looked at them this time. They were most definitely bloodshot, with the pupils blown so wide open it was hard to see the silvery blue of Daniel’s eyes.
Luke felt for Daniel’s pulse. It seemed fast, but didn’t seem dangerously so.
“You’re so shexy,” Daniel muttered.
“So are you...normally. Tonight...not so much. Dammit, Daniel. I really hate that you treat yourself like you’re worthless.” Luke put his forearms under Daniel’s armpits to lift him. “Come on. Let’s get you into bed.”
“I bet you shay that to all the guysh.”
“Nope. Only the ones who make bad choices that leave them too stupid to take care of themselves.” He half-dragged Daniel to his bedroom and then gingerly lowered him onto the edge of the bed.
Daniel sat there slumped over with his head hanging low on his chest.
“You feeling okay? Not feeling like you’ll puke any more are you?”
Daniel glanced up, slow blinked, and shook his head. “Just shleepy.”
“Okay. Hang tight here for a few seconds. I’ll go grab a couple bottles of water. Let’s try to get you more hydrated before you pass out.” Before he left the room, he hustled back to the bathroom and grabbed the trashcan and set it by the bed. “The trashcan is here if you need it.”
He jogged back to the kitchen, not wanting to leave Daniel a moment longer than he had to. He’d never seen the guy so wasted and Daniel partied harder than most so that was saying something.
When he got back to the bedroom, Daniel still sat up on the bed, something that shocked Luke. Daniel glanced up with the saddest expression Luke had ever seen from him. It broke his heart. What had happened today?
“I’m sorry,” he said. “Shouldn’t...” he swallowed thickly, “have come here like thish.”
“It’s okay, D. You’re still young. You’re gonna make rotten choices some days. Fuck, I’m a hell of a lot older than you and I still make bad choices sometimes.” Like crushing on this guy he could never have. “It’s part of life. As long as you keep going, you can recover from almost anything. The trick is getting up in the morning and moving on.”
Daniel’s eyes filled with tears and he looked at the wall over Luke’s shoulder and nodded.
“Come on. You’ve obviously had a long day. I won’t lie, tomorrow morning is gonna suck. Drink one of these waters so you at least have a chance of combatting what promises to be an epic hangover and then get some rest.”
“Will you stay with me?”
Nothing would drag him out of this room. He worried that as soon as he turned his back on Daniel that his condition would nosedive.
Luke couldn’t live with that possibility. But also, he needed to offer comfort to the man who meant so much more to Luke than he should. Daniel was hurting tonight and Luke flat out couldn’t turn him away.
Daniel needed him.
“Of course, I’ll stay. First, let’s get you more comfortable.” He crouched in front of Daniel to remove his combat boots.
“I’ve had fantasies of you like this.” Daniel’s voice sounded soft and sincere in the quiet of the bedroom.
Luke glanced up at him. So much pain showed through Daniel’s wounded gaze. Luke stood and cupped Daniel’s cheek. “Yeah?”
Everything in Luke leaned forward wanting that same thing so much it almost hurt.
He’d fought his feelings for Daniel for so long. Daniel was twenty years old now. They’d known one another for over two years and that yearning hadn’t waned in all that time. Daniel had made no secret that it was the same for him. Why was Luke continuing to fight this? Maybe they should try it? It couldn’t be more disastrous than the self-destructive course Daniel was currently blazing.
Daniel’s eyes slowly blinked shut, and he leaned into Luke’s touch like a puppy that hadn’t had enough affection.
Fuck, Luke wanted to be the one to shower Daniel with that affection. “I’m not going to discuss this with you tonight,” Luke whispered into the top of Daniel’s hair. “You’re too drunk to talk about it sensibly and I want you to remember anything we discuss. For now, let’s just get you in bed.”
Daniel nodded, suddenly quiet. He stripped off his shirt and Luke let him handle his jeans as he stood to drop them. Luke reached out a hand to steady him if he needed it, but he didn’t touch Daniel. His control wasn’t strong enough to deal with the temptation of Daniel almost nude and about to crawl into his bed.
Then Daniel turned to climb across the mattress, and Luke hissed in a sound of surprise. He lifted his hand and touched the incredible ink that covered Daniel’s entire back. “It’s gorgeous.”
Daniel glanced over his shoulder at Luke, his eyes smoldering. “I’m glad you like it. I did it for you.”
Suddenly Luke’s legs grew weak. Oh, holy hell.
The entirety of Daniel’s back had become a canvas of pure art. Around the edges, the tattoo had been drawn to look like his skin was shredded, exposing the iron-plated armor underneath. But that wasn’t all. In the very center, a flame red and orange phoenix burst out of the center of the armor, like a soldier reborn.
Oh, fuck.
Luke’s throat grew tight as he reverently touched the ink. “It’s incredible. How long did it take?”
“Seven weeks, but it was worth every moment.”
“You did it...” Luke swallowed suddenly overcome, “for me?”
“Yeah. That’s how I see you.” Daniel’s eyes shut and he swayed slightly. But they flared open again to continue. “You’re this incredible protector. You’ve reinvented yourself, but at your heart you’re still a protector. You protect Brady and on a more intimate level...me.”
Suddenly, Daniel sounded much more sober than he had been all evening. “You won’t get involved with me because on some level you think you’re protecting me. The tattoo is to remind me when I get frustrated about it.”
Luke didn’t know what to say. He had no idea. Had he made a mistake pushing Daniel away this whole time? He was beginning to think so.
He vowed not to continue to make the same mistake. He pulled Daniel into his arms. “Fuck.”
“Please,” Daniel murmured into his neck.
Luke chuckled, but even as he did so, Daniel’s whole body went pliant. For a moment, Luke panicked, but then Daniel snored into Luke’s neck. The alcohol had finally won its battle for control of Daniel’s body.
He gently lowered Daniel into the bed and crawled in behind him and covered them both with the blankets. He kissed the top of Daniel’s head.
Daniel snuffled and cozied up closer onto Luke’s chest.
“We will figure this out, D. But first this shit has to end. It hurts me that you don’t value yourself more. You’re worth the world. I just have to fix what I’ve broken and convince you of that.”
It took a long time for Luke to fall back asleep after that.
DANIEL AWOKE ON A GROAN of pain, but even the sound of his hum sent a brain-splitting vibration through his head.
Oh, fuck. How much had he drunk last night?
Then, the scents hitting his nose made sense. He hadn’t opened his eyes. All he knew was that he was in a bed. In a bed that smelled like Luke...cinnamon and evergreen.
Luke’s scent had always reminded him of the mountains at Christmastime, although Luke had never attended the annual festivities at the Gresham Compound in Colorado. Those two weeks were his tim
e off from acting as Brady’s bodyguard.
Daniel inhaled again. Definitely Luke. As flashes from the events the day before hit his brain, he reveled in the comfort of that smell. Had he finally cracked after the yesterday’s events and was hallucinating now? He almost hated to open his eyes to find his reality something different from what he hoped this smell meant.
His stomach rolled, and the room seemed to spin, forcing him to open his eyes. He swallowed against the rising nausea and glanced around the bedroom. The shock was enough to settle his stomach...at least for the moment. He’d never been here before, but there was no doubt this was Luke’s bedroom.
First, the room was super-neat, not a sock or a pair of underwear out of place. Daniel could even see his clothes folded and placed straight on the corner of the top of the dresser. The room was decorated in shades of gray and black with a few pops of the surprising color teal. A photo on the nightstand featured a much younger, clean-shaven Luke with a bunch of guys in army fatigues.
Daniel gingerly reached over and picked up the photo, tracing over Luke’s gorgeous face.
He took stock of his physical condition and what he could remember. Hangover...check. Sore from fucking Professor Asshole...check. Withdrawing from school...check. Getting drunk and scoring some drugs...check and check. After that, things became hazy. He vaguely remembered talking to his dad. Oh, god, did he come out? It seemed like there had been some discussion about being an adult, but he really didn’t remember. What he could recall felt more like a dream or in reality a nightmare.
How did all that result in him sleeping in Luke’s bed?
He checked under the covers and sadly found his underwear still in place. But that was probably a blessing. It would suck to finally get Luke to fuck him and not be able to remember it. Plus, as smashed as he was, he really doubted his performance would be anywhere close to acceptable.
Nausea rolled through his stomach again and he could hear Luke’s voice. Too stupid.
He shot out of bed and toward where he somehow knew the bathroom was. Nothing came out of his stomach, but acid. But what arose were snippets of conversation in Luke’s voice from the night before.
You’re the worst in the world.
You’re worthless.
You’re too young.
Rotten choices. You have to move on.
Humiliation flooded Daniel, but he shouldn’t be surprised. He’d relentlessly chased after Luke for over two years. He needed to take the hint already. God, he’d been stupid to come here. Luke didn’t want him, in fact from the bits of conversation he could remember, his tone had been kind, but there was no disputing the words. Luke would never want him.
He needed to get up, get dressed, and figure out how to sort his life.
Without Luke.
Without relying on his family ties.
It was time to grow up.
Never again would someone be able to tell him he was too young.
He rinsed out his mouth, got dressed, and fled Luke’s apartment while Luke was busy on the phone. Probably not the most mature method, but he left a note.
Thanks for taking me in last night. I promise to never bother you again. From now on I will relegate my partying with the band. My life may be all sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll, but I will never let it affect you again.
D~
LUKE
Luke frowned as the front door closed, but then had to refocus on the phone call. “Yes, Mr. Gresham. I’m fully recovered. I’ll pick Brady up from the airport today, no problem.”
“Thank you, Luke. I don’t say it often enough, but hiring you was one of the best decisions I ever made.”
Their call ended, and Luke headed back to his bedroom, looking for some sign that Daniel might be coming back soon. They had unfinished business between the two of them.
Instead he found the note and read through it.
Fuck.
Last night must have just been a drunken fantasy for Daniel. There was no doubt he was young and that band of his definitely partied hard. He had different priorities than Luke. That’s why Luke had never wanted to get involved with him in the first place.
This would be better. He loved working for the Gresham Family. Now, there’d be no conflict of interest.
It was the smarter thing all the way around. He just had to convince himself of that.
Then he lifted the pillow Daniel had slept on last night and inhaled the scent of the man he thought he might have a future with this morning.
It just went to prove...Luke wasn’t meant for that type of relationship with the enigmatic man, no matter how much he desired it.
Chapter Four
ONE AND A HALF YEARS ago
LUKE
The low thrumming arousal bounced under Luke’s skin like a live wire. Last night, he’d accompanied Brady to a Veiled Lies concert and Daniel had been in rare form. It had almost been like he’d ramped up the sex in the show fifty times just to torment Luke.
At different times throughout the two-hour show, he’d made out with all three of his bandmates, male and female alike. It had been hotter than fuck, as had Daniel’s obvious arousal. His erection that had been present throughout the entire show, like a whole other band member. Luke tried to ignore it, but time and time again, his gaze had dropped to Daniel’s groin. It didn’t help that Daniel had done the show without a shirt and the new ink on his chest of the stylized tribal arrow seemed to point straight to his hard dick as he moved on stage.
Luke hadn’t understood how he could continue to dance around on stage and had hated that every other single person at the show was getting the same view he was.
The last few years, Daniel hadn’t been around as much, touring hard with the band hoping to get their big break. That absence should have helped slake Luke’s obsession. Instead, every time he saw Daniel it was like giving a starving person a crumb of bread. He wanted, needed more before he’d come even close to satisfied.
Last night he’d gotten his crumb and now his skin felt too tight for his body. He needed a release.
Throughout the night, he’d awoken hot and throbbing, so when Brady wanted to stay in tonight, Luke jumped at the chance to take the night off to go out and get laid. He only did this a few times a year, just to satisfy his building physical need, but that was all it was...physical. Mentally, the shallow release left him feeling hollow and even worse than before.
But satisfying his body at least helped him sleep at night.
He nodded at the doorman at the sex club, Mélange. Raider had been the doorman as long as he could remember, ever since he’d become a member when he’d moved permanently to New York.
“Mr. Jacobson, welcome to Mélange.”
“Thank you, Raider. Has it been busy tonight?”
Raider nodded. “I think you’ll be able to find someone for your discriminating tastes.”
“I like hearing that.” As Luke entered the dark club, he considered the words. Discriminating? Only in that he almost always chose someone young and close to Daniel’s rangy, muscular build. Yeah, he really was that pathetic.
Over an hour later, Luke gave up. There wasn’t a soul in the club who’d caught his attention, and while his balls still throbbed with unspent need, he couldn’t even muster the enthusiasm to engage with anyone he’d seen so far.
He began to work his way out of the club when a server stopped him with a careful smile on her face. “I’m sorry if I’m being bold, but you’re like a wolf on the prowl tonight. I’ve seen you in here before, so I have a good idea what you’re looking for. Just an FYI if you’re interested, a young man just entered the Slice of Silver room who looks like your type.”
“Really?” Luke wasn’t sure he even wanted to go look, only to have his hopes dashed again.
She shrugged. “I think so. It can’t hurt to go check, right?”
His pulsing dick decided for him. “Thanks,” he said as he slipped her a tip. “I appreciate the information.”
Then
he turned back around toward the Silver room...in the back, for those serious about their playtime.
Slice of Silver was an ambient room with black-painted walls and silver furniture to highlight the bare skin of the subs who hung out there. It was fairly infamous as the place to go for those who liked to give and receive pain. Luke entered the room not expecting much. While he liked to dominate and control his sex scenes, he really didn’t get into dishing out pain.
But all that was before he saw the nude man strapped to a Saint Andrew’s cross.
Luke’s breath caught in his chest and his cock filled. If this guy had blond hair and tattoos, he could easily be Daniel.
Acting on pure instinct, Luke walked toward the blindfolded man. Only because he was watching the stranger so closely did Luke notice the shudder that rolled down the expectant man’s spine. He could hear Luke’s approach and was excited and probably a little nervous about it.
Luke barely touched the warm skin of that muscular back. “You’re beautiful.” The skin felt electric under his fingertips as flares of sensation arced up from the touch and across the full length of his body.
That was promising.
God, Luke hoped this worked out. It had been a long time since someone other than Daniel had elicited this kind of physical reaction from him.
“Thank you, Sir.” The subs voice barely registered above a hoarse whisper like he’d recently been sick or talked too much in a loud club.
“What’s your name?” Luke asked him as he palmed one bare, meaty ass cheek.
“John, Sir.”
“What do you want here tonight, John?”
John’s throat worked as he swallowed. Then he licked his lips.
Luke’s erection kicked against the unyielding placket of his leather pants and he had to fight to hold in his moan of desire.
“To be fucked hard and long. I’d like your dick inside me, Sir. But whatever you want, I want. I’m here for your pleasure. Use me.”
Normally that would be all the go-ahead that Luke would need, but with this man tonight, it didn’t seem to be enough. “Will that be enough to get you off? Or do you need pain, too?” There had to be a reason he’d chosen to display himself in this room. It seemed imperative that John had a good time, too.
