Robyn licked a blob of sauce from her fingers. ‘That’s true. If nothing else, Eric was reliable and he would have seen Toby right. I don’t suppose we’d have been in this situation at all if we still had Eric. All water under the bridge now. We don’t have Eric and it’s pointless wishing we did.’
‘Do you ever think… well… do you ever think if you got with another man that he might be a good influence on Toby?’
‘Are you talking about Peter here?’
‘Not specifically.’ Nina looked up from the rice. ‘Are you?’
‘Not happening,’ Robyn said. ‘Toby couldn’t stand him the first time I dated him anyway. Come to think of it, Toby hasn’t been all that keen on any of them.’
‘Maybe he feels like you’re trying to replace Eric.’
‘Well… when you think about it, that’s exactly what I’m trying to do.’
‘Not exactly,’ Nina said, going hot as the idea occurred to her. If Robyn really thought that dating someone new was an attempt to replace Eric, did that make her attraction to Colm an attempt to replace Gray? She would never have seen it that way, but perhaps, in the cold light of day, that was exactly what she was doing. ‘Eric will always be a part of your life, won’t he, even if you end up remarried?’
‘Of course he will. I’m just saying that it is sort of like replacing them when you really think about it.’ She looked up at Nina and stopped stirring for a moment. ‘Replacing someone doesn’t mean they never existed though, if that’s what you’re worried about.’
‘Me…’ Nina gave a self-conscious laugh. ‘Why would I be worried?’
‘You’re always worried about something,’ Robyn said, stirring the pan again.
‘I’m not.’
‘Yes, you are. I know you. The man of your dreams could walk in that door right now and all you’d think about was how you’d be letting Gray down if you so much as looked twice. For all I know you could have already turned down the man of your dreams – you could be doing it twenty times a day, worrying about if that means you’ve somehow betrayed Gray. The way I see it, Eric isn’t here so I’ll never know what he thinks and neither is Gray. We can’t ask them, so all we can do is carry on living for ourselves and not worry about it.’
Nina went to get some plates from the cupboard. Coming from Robyn it sounded so simple. Maybe it was for her, but for Nina, nothing had felt simple since Gray’s death and she couldn’t imagine that anything ever would again.
The next morning was dry and bright, darts of crisp sunshine skimming the rooftops of Sparrow Street. When Nina arrived at the gates of the garden with Winston and Robyn, who’d met her at home and walked along with her, Colm’s van was already parked at the kerb and he stood chatting with Ada and Martha. Seeing their approach, Ada and Martha greeted Nina’s party enthusiastically, while Colm just gave her a warm nod of acknowledgement.
Her stomach dropped, however, as a new complication arose. As she’d feared, Robyn perked right up at the sight of him and went into full charm offensive mode. It was hard to deny that a lot of women would find Colm attractive and clearly it was too much to ask that Robyn not be one of them. But Nina also realised that she only had herself to blame because if she’d been more open with Robyn about the fact that she did like Colm, her friend would be keeping a respectful distance right now, mindful of Nina’s feelings. As it was, poor Robyn didn’t have a clue, and Nina couldn’t really complain.
‘Pleased to meet you,’ Colm said as Nina introduced her dad and best friend. ‘You’re here to help today?’
‘Yes!’ Robyn said, and Nina knew exactly what that bounce was in her step because she knew exactly what made her friend tick. Not only had Robyn quickly come to appreciate Colm’s good looks, but she’d also appreciate that he had an accent that could sing birds from the trees.
‘That’s grand,’ Colm said, sounding more Irish than ever and sending a palpable frisson of excitement through the assembled women. As he went on to explain the plan for their morning’s work, Robyn shot Nina a grin full of meaning.
‘Oh. My. God!’ she mouthed.
Nina returned a weak smile, the best she could do. It was going to be a long morning.
Once they’d wrapped up for the morning, Colm having a paying customer to get to after lunch, he told them that he wasn’t sure when he could come back again, but he promised to let them know through Diana as soon as possible. He could have offered his phone number (and certainly Robyn had tried hard enough to get it) but he didn’t, which left Nina wondering why – the most obvious and easiest way for him to keep in touch would be to give one of them his phone number. But then she spotted Robyn standing at the side of his van, copying the phone number listed along with his name. Here was a woman who wasn’t troubled by the notion that he might have refrained from offering his phone number for a reason.
The second time around, the manic appetite to get the garden finished had definitely tailed off. Many of the army of helpers they’d had at the start just weren’t there, and those who always did turn up – Kelly, Ada and Martha – were tired. Canvassed by Nina for support to repair the damage, many had told her that they didn’t see the point in doing it all over again just for it to get vandalised as soon as it was finished. While Nina could see what they meant, it saddened her. As she’d worked today, she’d resolved to talk to Nasser about it. But for now, with Colm gone, the others decided to pack up too. Ada and Martha went home for lunch while Robyn went to pick Toby up from a half-day at college so he couldn’t go out with the friends who were causing so much trouble and Kelly had a hair appointment – all of which just left Winston and Nina.
‘You know what I fancy?’ Winston said once Robyn had left. ‘Pizza.’
‘I can do pizza for you; I’m sure I have a pepperoni in the freezer—’
‘Is that pizza place still open on Wrenwick plaza?’
‘Roberto’s? I think so.’
‘That’s the one. Your mum used to love it there. Just for treats, you know, but she always chose it for her birthday.’
‘I know.’ Nina smiled. ‘I remember.’
‘I have a sudden hankering for it,’ Winston said. ‘Care to join me?’
‘I’d love to.’
Winston had driven over in an old Ford Anglia – one of the handful of cars that he’d refurbished over the years and hadn’t been able to part with. It was a gorgeous sage green, lovingly waxed and polished so that it gleamed, the interior upholstered in soft cream leather. Every time Winston took it out he received admiring glances and compliments. Nina had to agree that out of all the cars he’d kept it was her favourite, even if the old engine sounded like that of a Boeing coming in to land. They walked back to Nina’s house and it stood waiting for them outside where he’d left it to walk along with her that morning. As they got in, the comforting smell of the beeswax leather treatment he used regularly to keep the seats from cracking welcomed Nina like an old friend.
They chatted about this and that as they drove the mile or so into town – nothing of consequence and all good-natured. Winston listed the cars he’d seen that he might buy, ones that he’d been outbid for at auction, ones that he’d steered clear of once he’d taken a good look at the bodywork, and Nina listened, content to let him ramble as her gaze idled on the town passing by outside the window. She was always glad to hear him enthuse about his cars, because it meant he was occupied and happy. The more camshafts, brake pads, engine fans and bumpers that littered his driveway, the happier Nina was.
At the restaurant they got a table easily because it was a weekday and at the tail end of the lunchtime rush. Nina was assailed by a thousand memories, both pleasurable and painful, of coming here with her mum on special occasions or random treat days, and later with Gray as she’d introduced him to it and he’d loved it as much as her. The most authentic pizza outside Napoli, the sign outside boasted, and the population of Wrenwick seemed to agree because Roberto had been feeding hungry patrons since the early seventies when
old man Roberto – who had since retired and handed the restaurant to Roberto junior – had first opened it. In that time the décor had barely changed – perhaps the blinds or the table coverings had been replaced and renewed – but the faded old wall frescos showing scenes of Venice, Florence, Rome, Lake Garda… they still remained, looking now like something that an archaeologist might unearth in an Ancient Roman settlement. Nina was not one to shy away from progress but some things she liked to see stay just as they always were. As the festive season was fast approaching, it was now also festooned by garlands of tinsel, which looked almost as old as the décor they obscured, and a plastic fir tree – trying valiantly to persuade onlookers that it was dusted with Alpine snow – stood next to the restaurant entrance.
After being seated at a small table by the window, they ordered their meals and a jug of water and the waiter left them.
‘That’s old Roberto’s grandson, you know,’ Winston said as they watched him go to the kitchens.
‘How do you know that?’
‘I’ll bet you a fiver – you can see the resemblance a mile off.’
‘Don’t worry – I’ll keep my fiver. I believe you.’
He looked at Nina with a smile. ‘This is nice, isn’t it? We haven’t done this in a long time.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘It’s not your fault – I didn’t mean that.’
‘I know, but I suppose I’ve just been wrapped up in a lot of other things. I’ve still got to find a job – though I had no idea how hard that would be – and the garden is taking more time out of my weeks than I imagined it would. It’s not cheap either and I couldn’t afford to do it every week.’
‘This one’s on me.’
‘Dad, no—’
‘I want to,’ Winston said. ‘I wish I could do more for you, but at least let me do little things every now and again.’
‘Dad, you know I don’t ever feel neglected—’
‘Still,’ he said, his gaze travelling to the young waiter who was returning with a carafe of water for their table.
‘Thank you,’ Winston said with a little nod as the boy set it down and then walked away again. He couldn’t have been older than seventeen or eighteen. Nina’s mind went to Toby. She wondered if Robyn was alright. It upset her to see her friend sad and lost, desperate for help and guidance that Nina just wasn’t equipped to give. She was just about to say something to her dad about it when he spoke.
‘I used to think money was important, that I ought to always have some put aside, but as I get older and I see more and more people start to disappear from my life I start to wonder if there’s any point in worrying about money. You can’t take it with you, so why bother trying to keep hold of it?’
Nina frowned. ‘Dad… Are you trying to tell me something?’
‘What… Oh, no!’ He laughed and she heaved a silent sigh of thanks. ‘Don’t worry – it’s nothing like that. I’m afraid you’re going to have to put up with me for a while yet – at least, if I have any say in it.’
‘Well then, don’t talk like that because it scares me.’
‘I’m sorry, love; I didn’t mean to. I should have realised. I just meant that life’s too short – and that’s one thing we both know well enough.’
‘Yes, it is.’
‘And sometimes you just have to stop worrying about what’s right and proper, what others think, and do what makes you happy.’
‘I know that too,’ Nina said carefully, wondering where this conversation might be going. ‘But sometimes there’s more to it than that,’ she added. ‘Sometimes it’s hard to let go of your past and move on.’
‘I see you struggle with that every day.’ Winston poured a glass of water from the carafe.
‘Yes, I don’t deny it, but I’m not unhappy, Dad. You don’t need to worry about me – when I’m ready, I’ll move on.’
‘Will you? I’m not sure that’s true. Do you disapprove of new relationships? Do you feel Gray would disapprove?’
Nina reached for the carafe and poured water for herself. ‘It’s not like I can ask him,’ she said briskly. She wasn’t sure she wanted to have this conversation, certainly not with her dad.
‘Of course not, but you must have a gut feeling. You knew him better than anyone; you must be able to guess at how he’d react and what he’d say if he could tell you.’
He’d have been glad, Nina thought. He’d have wanted her to be happy. He would have hated to see her alone, the way she’d been so determined to be alone. He would have said she’d earned her happiness. She had, hadn’t she? Hadn’t she been a loyal and loving wife until the very end? So why couldn’t she accept that?
Their conversation was put on pause once more as the waiter brought complimentary breadsticks and olives to their table. They thanked him and he left again.
‘That Colm seems like a nice fella,’ Winston said, reaching for a breadstick. ‘Shame about his wife.’
Nina paused, her hand halfway to the olive bowl. She looked up at Winston. ‘His wife? I didn’t know he was married.’
‘I don’t think he knows if he’s married or not either,’ Winston said with a wry smile.
Nina frowned. ‘What does that mean?’
‘She’s been living in some hippy community or something for the last five years on some remote Scottish island. Never comes home, hardly calls. I should imagine it’s enough to drive a man mad.’
Nina was thoughtful for a moment. ‘How long did you say she’d been gone?’
‘Five years. Doesn’t contact Colm and hardly his poor daughter either – her daughter too, I might add. Your mum would have been horrified if she’d heard a story like that. I should say that’s reason enough for him to try and divorce her – I’m surprised he hasn’t done it already to be honest.’
‘He’s got a daughter?’ Nina asked, wondering why Colm hadn’t mentioned it. But then, perhaps he would have if she’d thought to ask.
‘She’s fifteen, I think he said.’
‘And he told you all this?’
‘Today.’
‘It’s a big deal to tell a complete stranger,’ Nina said doubtfully.
Winston gave another faint smile. ‘I think I’ve just got one of those faces. I’ll tell you what, I don’t know how he stays so cheerful with all that hanging over him, and having to bring up a teenage daughter alone too.’
Nina bit into a breadstick, her mind a jumble of thoughts.
‘You never know what life’s got in store for you,’ Winston continued, shaking his head. ‘That’s why you have to make the most of the good times.’
‘I know.’
‘Poor fella must get lonely sometimes.’
‘He’s got his daughter at least.’
‘You were always a comfort to me after we lost your mum, but it’s a different kind of lonely…’
‘Do you think he misses her?’
‘I’m sure he does,’ Winston said with a distant look, and Nina realised that he wasn’t really talking about Colm any more. He was thinking about how much he missed Nina’s mum.
‘Oh, Dad…’ Nina reached across the table and gave her dad’s hand a squeeze.
‘Steady on,’ he said with a half-laugh, throwing a glance around the restaurant. ‘People will think I’m your sugar daddy.’
‘Well, if they were minding their own business then they wouldn’t be thinking anything, would they?’ Nina raised her eyebrows and Winston laughed again.
She took a sip of her water. Colm wasn’t exactly single but not exactly spoken for either. And he had a daughter too? Did that change anything for her?
‘Anyway…’ Winston began before taking a deep but significant breath. Nina paid him her full attention now because she recognised that breath. ‘All this has got me thinking,’ he continued. ‘There’s one thing I haven’t dared to tell you, though I knew I’d have to soon. Under the circumstances, now seems as good a time as any.’
Nina put her glass down and stared at her
dad. What on earth could he have to tell her that he hadn’t dared to until today? Why did she have the feeling she wasn’t going to like it?
He licked his lips and took a swig of his own water.
‘Dad…’ Nina prompted. ‘You can’t start the tale and then keep me hanging.’
‘Right… of course. Well, I’ve been… I’ve sort of been taking a lady friend out. Pam, her name is. I met her at the car auctions. I like her, Nina. She’s not your mum, of course… and she’d never take your mum’s place because nobody could ever do that but… I like her very much. And she likes me. And, well…’ He paused and took another gulp of his water. ‘Nina… I don’t mind telling you I’m fed up of being on my own.’
‘Well, if you like each other then I don’t have any issue with you dating her at all,’ Nina said with a relieved smile. ‘Is that what you thought? If she makes you happy, why would I mind if you spend the odd afternoon with her?’
‘That’s just it,’ Winston said, eyeing Nina warily. ‘I don’t want to spend the odd afternoon with her. I’m going to ask her to marry me.’
Chapter Fourteen
What with her dad’s revelations and Robyn’s flirting with Colm, not to mention all the drama around Sparrow Street garden and Sammy Star’s heart attack, Nina wasn’t sure how much more she could take. Her quiet existence had suddenly turned into a maelstrom of upheaval, events hitting her one after the other; it seemed her life was destined to be anything but peaceful right now.
She’d managed to get some early-blooming daffodils at the florist, though they’d cost a lot more than they would have if she’d bought them in a couple of months’ time. But she’d liked their bright cheeriness and she thought Gray would have too. She bent now to place them at the base of the headstone. As she’d walked through a churchyard that was still damp from early-morning rain, the paths slick and bare branches dripping, she’d noticed other graves had Christmas wreaths on already, though it wasn’t even December yet. She wondered whether people had laid them early because they liked being early. Perhaps they might not be able to come back at Christmas, or perhaps it was simply that they didn’t want to.
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