‘Couple of days ago at the supermarket. I said hello. If I’d known about this business between you and him I would have given them a piece of my mind. You can’t mess people around like that.’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ Nina said. ‘I appreciate the sentiment, though.’
Ron puffed out his chest. ‘I would have done it for anyone, you know. What’s right is right and what’s not is not. It’s a matter of decency.’
‘I know,’ Nina said, wishing she could explain to him that things weren’t always as simple as right and wrong. There was no point with someone like Ron, though – things were that simple to him. She reflected for a moment on how nice that must be, to see the world in such straightforward terms.
‘It’s funny, though,’ he said.
‘What is?’
‘The coincidence.’
‘Coincidence? I don’t follow.’
‘His wife coming home. Must be something in the water.’ He broke into a broad grin, but Nina could only frown, the conversation now completely losing her. Was there something she was supposed to know? ‘My Yvette!’ he prompted.
Nina’s eyes widened. ‘Yvette? You mean…’
‘She phoned me yesterday – thought someone might have told you. She’s had enough of Spain and wants to come home. Of course,’ he sniffed, ‘I could have told you she’d get there sooner or later – it’s too hot there to suit my Yvette and you’ve got to pay a fortune for English biscuits.’
Nina smiled. At least this explained Ron’s unusually cheery mood. Everyone knew he loved his wife to bits. ‘That’s brilliant, Ron. I’m so pleased for you.’
‘It’s not a bad Christmas present as they go,’ he said.
‘Not bad at all.’ Nina reached to give him a peck on the cheek. He put a hand to it; if it hadn’t been dark, Nina might have seen him blush. ‘Good luck,’ she said. ‘I’m sure it will work out this time.’
‘It will if I have anything to do with it,’ he said with a grin.
‘Will she be back in time for Christmas?’
‘Oh yes – she’s flying in tonight. She’ll have to go back to Spain at some point to sort out the house there but she’ll be staying with me until New Year. That’s really what I came to tell you – I’ll have to leave for the airport to collect her before you do the tree announcement so I’m sorry but I won’t be here.’
Nina smiled. ‘Don’t even give it a second thought. Why ever didn’t you say something earlier today?’
‘I thought you knew. And with your news I thought… well, I didn’t like to rub it in.’
‘You wouldn’t have done that,’ Nina said, wishing that everyone would stop treating her like she was made of china. Colm was gone – she didn’t know if it was for forever, but she had to get on with things regardless. She couldn’t just mope around and she didn’t think anyone ought to give her licence to. ‘You should have told me. I bet you had things to get ready at home for her arrival and instead you’ve been stuck here all day.’
‘It wasn’t too bad. I got some extra food in last night and cleaned around a bit. You don’t make much of a mess when it’s just you. And I’d already got her a Christmas present… just in case… you know…’
Nina nodded, thinking of the gifts she’d bought for Colm and Polly, now tucked in a drawer at home and unlikely to reach them. At least, not by Christmas Day anyway.
‘So, I’d best be off then,’ he added. ‘If it’s all the same to you and you don’t need me for anything else.’
‘Of course!’ Nina smiled. ‘Thanks for everything – I really do appreciate it.’
He turned to go but Nina called him back. ‘And if I don’t see you before, Happy Christmas.’
‘You too.’ He gave her a last smile and wandered away, keys jangling in his pockets as he went.
‘What was all that about?’ Winston asked, coming to join Nina now as she watched Ron disappear into the crowd. He’d been chatting to Pam and Robyn, but Nina guessed he might have been keeping a close eye on the proceedings here despite that.
‘Ron’s wife’s coming back from Spain.’
‘For Christmas?’
‘For good – or so he seems to think. I do hope so.’
‘Ah,’ Winston said. ‘So all’s well that ends well.’
‘Looks like it.’
Nina thought back to Ron’s news that he’d seen Colm, Polly and Jane out together. Only food shopping, she told herself, and if Jane was there at the house then of course they’d need extra food. But did they need to shop for it together? Had they looked happy? If Jane was staying at the house they’d once shared as a family – and it was fair to assume she was – whose bed was she sleeping in?
‘Are you alright?’ Winston asked gently.
‘Of course,’ Nina said, forcing a bright smile. ‘I was just thinking I ought to find Sammy to see if he has everything he needs. I’m pretty sure I saw him loitering at the hot-dog stand.’
‘Diana will love that,’ Robyn said dryly. ‘It’ll do wonders for his cholesterol if he’s stuffing sausages down his neck.’
‘That’s true,’ Nina said with a light laugh. ‘I should probably go and save him from himself.’
Winston didn’t look convinced by Nina’s performance but he nodded. ‘If you’re sure you’re alright…’
‘I’m sure. Honestly, Dad, there’s no need to worry. Why don’t you go and get Pam a glass of mulled wine? It’s so cold tonight I wouldn’t be surprised if it doesn’t sell out before too long.’
‘Don’t think trying to get rid of me is going to put me off the scent,’ he said.
‘I’m not,’ Nina said, really laughing now, despite herself. ‘Go. I’ll come and find you later.’
With a last frown, Winston relented. Catching hold of Pam’s hand, they disappeared into the crowd together.
At 8 p.m., almost everyone was gathered around the tree in anticipation of Sammy’s speech. He was currently standing at the mic, about to begin. He looked to Nina, who nodded, and then he addressed the crowd. Diana was standing next to Nina with Robyn at the other side. Diana had come to the event even though she’d been under no pressure to, partly to support Nina and Robyn and the work they were doing for a good cause, but partly, Nina suspected, to keep a hawk-like watch on Sammy to make sure he didn’t overdo things. She’d complained bitterly to Nina and Robyn earlier that evening, saying that it hadn’t taken him long to fall back into the bad habits that had helped bring on his heart attack and that he kept telling her not to worry. How could she not worry, she said, when she’d been so close to losing her soul mate once before? She’d asked for Nina and Robyn’s advice, but neither of them felt particularly well equipped to give it, and so they’d made vague offerings that hadn’t really amounted to anything useful at all.
‘Before I declare the memory tree officially…’ Sammy paused. ‘Open? You can’t really declare a tree open, can you? It’s just sort of there.’
The crowd laughed.
‘Well,’ he continued, ‘I’ll have to work with what I have here. So before I declare the tree… there… I’d like to give a special mention to the two fabulous ladies who had the vision to make this happen. I know they’re both too shy to come up and speak to you themselves but I’m sure they’d want me to express how grateful they are for your support tonight. And I think it’s only fair that we thank them for all their hard work, so I’d like to ask you all to raise glasses, mince pies, burgers, pork baps… whatever you have in your hands… To Nina and Robyn!’
‘To Nina and Robyn,’ the crowd repeated, before bursting into spontaneous cheers and applause. Most of them probably didn’t have a clue who they were cheering for but a few looked Nina and Robyn’s way and smiled, lifting whatever refreshments they had in their hand in a toast. Nina would rather not have had the attention but she could tell Robyn was loving it.
‘We want everyone to have fun tonight,’ Sammy continued as the noise died down again. ‘But I want to be serious too for just on
e second. When you look at the tree, see the names and messages on the lanterns. Take a moment to reflect that they were someone very much loved, someone who is very much missed. But above all, remember them with happiness for what they brought to our lives, not what their passing took away.’
There was another round of applause. Nina wiped away a tear, and she saw many others do the same. She’d been determined not to cry but it looked as if she’d failed. She felt a hand cover hers and turned to see her dad now at her side where Robyn had been, smiling down at her.
‘Your mum would have been so proud,’ he said. ‘Gray too.’
Nina nodded, but she couldn’t speak because she was too busy fighting the torrent of tears that threatened to fall now. All she could do was smile through them and hope that her dad would understand.
She looked around at the garden and the crowds. She was proud of what she’d done – though she’d never say it out loud – and she was proud of the community who had helped her. There was so much love here, lifting into the night air in waves as the crowd clapped. It shone in the faces of the people who were gazing up at the tree, many of them knowing their message to their loved one was there and remembering all that they had lost, celebrating all that they had once had. It was in the faces of Winston and Pam as they gazed at one another and it was in the face of Peter, who had just arrived to surprise Robyn, sneaking behind her with hands over her eyes and a kiss as she turned around with a squeal of joy to see him revealed. It was with Ada and Martha, sitting at their mince-pie stall, and it was with Nasser as he looked on with pride at Yasmin and his children, and it was with Diana, who watched with a huge smile on her face as her husband spoke.
If not for the glaring omission, the one important person who was missing, this might have been one of the happiest nights of Nina’s life. And when all was said and done, he had a card on the tree too, one that he’d written for Polly’s lost twin. Nina had wondered whether that, at least, might have brought him here.
She wondered what he was doing now. Was he thinking about the garden and the special ceremony that Nina had put so much work into, knowing that it was taking place right now? Was he even thinking about Nina at all?
Chapter Twenty-Eight
She didn’t want to think of it this way, but being at Gray’s grave on Christmas Eve, alone, as she’d been every Christmas Eve since his death, almost felt like she’d gone back to the start. Back to when she’d first lost him and an empty future had stretched before her. The excitement and purpose of getting ready for the memory-tree event had abated now, and today felt like a huge anticlimax after the high of the evening before. It was like the bustle had been keeping her afloat and she wasn’t quite sure what the point of her was now it was over.
Her dad and Pam had offered to come to the churchyard with her today but Nina had told them not to. It was hardly somewhere Pam wanted to be on a day like today – her first Christmas Eve with the man she planned to spend the rest of her life with. Nina felt that ought to be happy and joyous, something Pam would look back on with fondness – her dad too for that matter. The churchyard where Gray was buried hardly screamed joyous. Winston had been reluctant, but eventually he’d relented. Nina knew he’d already made a private visit to her mum’s grave and he’d made his peace with his dead wife as she’d once done with Gray, ready to move on with the next phase of his life.
Robyn had initially said she’d come too, but she’d called that morning to say she wouldn’t be able to make it after all, though would find time to visit on Christmas morning with Toby to lay a wreath for Eric. It was probably better for them to be here without Nina anyway – for Robyn and Toby it was a family thing and Nina understood that. She had wondered if she might bump into Connie, though, despite the fact that she hadn’t told Gray’s mother that she was coming. On her walk along the iced paths she’d nodded acknowledgement to a few others that she often saw on her visits there, though she had no idea whose graves they visited. She hadn’t brought anything to lay at Gray’s this time, trusting that the holly she’d set down only recently would still be fresh. She arrived at the grave to see that it was, and that another wreath had now joined it – most likely Connie’s, which probably meant that her mother-in-law had already been.
‘Hey,’ she said, bending to dust a layer of powdery overnight snow from the stone. ‘So, I thought I’d come and see you before Christmas. It’s going to be a bit hectic tomorrow I expect – Dad’s fiancée has invited me for dinner. I thought maybe she’d want it to be just her and Dad for their first Christmas but it seems like she really wants me there so…’
Nina shuffled on the path, toes numbing from the cold that seeped through the soles of her boots.
‘Robyn’s happy. I think things are going well with her and Peter now and since Toby started to spend time working with Dad on the cars he’s like a different kid. They get on so well – we all hoped they would but you can never tell. You know Dad, though, so easy-going I can’t imagine anyone not getting along with him. Who knows, maybe Dad will even give Toby the business one day.’
She laughed lightly. ‘Well, it’s not really a business, is it? You always said it’s like no business you’d ever seen and it’s a miracle he makes any money. You never know, maybe one day Toby will turn it into a proper one with account books and offices and all that. It’d have to be him because it certainly won’t be Dad and I wouldn’t know where to start. Which reminds me, I have an interview for a job. Weirdly, it’s at the café not far from here. I saw the card in the window on my way here this morning and popped in… They know me so I’m hopeful that will swing it my way. I think I’d like working there too, so I hope I get it. I’d be able to come and talk to you during my breaks too. That would be good, wouldn’t it?’
Nina closed her eyes against her tears. It wouldn’t be good, not really. This wasn’t where she was supposed to end up again. Life was supposed to have taken her somewhere else entirely.
‘It didn’t work out with Colm,’ she said, opening her eyes again. ‘I don’t know, his wife came back and I just thought… I was scared, I suppose. Scared that I’d be rejected so I sort of pre-empted that by letting him go. I know it was a stupid thing to do but it’s done now and I haven’t heard from him so I suppose… well, I suppose in the end I was proved right. This is how it would have ended anyway, even if I hadn’t pushed it. All I did was make everything happen quicker. You don’t need to worry about me, though – I’ll be just fine. I’ve got my little house and lovely neighbours and maybe I’ll have a nice job with good colleagues and that’s all I need really, isn’t it?’ She pulled her coat tight as a cold wind blasted across the grounds, lifting litter from a nearby bin.
‘I’m not staying long,’ she said. ‘Sorry – I hope you don’t mind. It’s just that… well, I’ve got things to do.’
There was nothing she needed to do, but to say it would make her feel more than useless.
‘I just wanted to say Merry Christmas now, as I won’t be coming tomorrow.’
Nina looked down at the stone, cold and silent, as it always had been, as it always would be. She shook her head sadly. Why was she still doing this?
Instead of going home, Nina went to Sparrow Street’s garden. It was still decorated from the night before, the remains of stalls still standing where it had been too late to clear away. Seeing it empty now made it seem sad. Ada and Martha had volunteered to come with Kelly to clear up, insisting that Nina have a day off, but it looked as if no one had been as yet. She was here now, so Nina decided to start cleaning by herself anyway. She didn’t have much else to do and it would save them a job later.
Before she started, she went to look at the tree. She looked briefly at Colm’s card for his baby son before moving on to some of the others. She’d thought she might have been upset to see it again, to be reminded of what she herself had lost, but found herself curiously numb about the whole thing. Colm had not contacted her and so it seemed that chapter of her life had now closed.
Maybe she’d meet someone else. It didn’t seem likely that they’d be like Colm – there couldn’t be two such men – but she was hopeful at least that they might make her happy. She’d felt that way after losing Gray too, she reminded herself, rallying now, that there couldn’t be another man like that in the world, and then she’d met Colm. There was plenty to be optimistic about and she was finally ready to admit that she was tired of being lonely. Everyone around her was getting their happy ending, even Ron, whose curtains had been closed as she’d passed his house, even though it was now late morning. But if there was a happy ending for everyone, then where was hers?
She was still gazing up at the tree when she heard a slight cough from behind her. She turned, expecting Ada and Martha or perhaps Kelly, but she was unable to hide her surprise when she saw who it was.
‘Hello,’ Polly said. ‘I went to your house but you weren’t there so then I thought I’d try here because I know you had the tree thing last night and I guessed you might be tidying up.’ She looked up at the tree. ‘Did it go OK? Sorry we didn’t come but… well, it’s just that… Dad said… I know he wants to come and look at Billy’s card though…’
Polly’s sentence tailed off. Nina stared at her, heart thumping, fully expecting Colm to appear next.
‘Are you… how’s your dad?’ Nina asked.
Polly shrugged. ‘Is there somewhere we can go?’
Nina’s forehead creased into a slight frown; she was feeling more puzzled by the second. If Colm wasn’t here, why had Polly come?
‘Your dad isn’t with you?’
‘No, I came on my own. He doesn’t know I’m here.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because it’s him I need to talk to you about.’
The Garden on Sparrow Street: A heartwarming, uplifting Christmas romance Page 28
