by Nora Ford
In the car, we were both quiet. I didn't know what Aron wanted to tell me, but I believed it couldn't be as life-altering as my news. However, I could feel he was nervous about whatever he wished to say. When we entered the house, Aron led me to the living room. I raised my brows in question, "Aren't we going to our room?"
"No, we need to talk. If we go upstairs, I'll get distracted."
"Oh, that's a sweet thing to say," I gave Aron a cocky smile, leaned forward and whispered in his ears, "But I'm pretty sure I can distract you anywhere."
Aron cupped my shoulder and squeezed me tight. "You sure can, baby. But let's talk first."
I sighed and nuzzled my nose into his chest. "Okay, but me first. It'… it's about the sickness I felt earlier." I tried to push off him. But Aron held tight; his grip was relentless.
"You've said you weren't ill," Aron's hand caressed the side of my face as he searched my eyes for a moment. My heart jumped, his intense stare looked through me.
"I'm not ill, Aron. I…I'm pregnant," I finally said and waited for Aron's reaction. When he didn't respond, I added. "I stopped taking the pill shortly after we returned from Italy. I know I should have told you first, but I wasn't sure if I could conceive, and you'd said that we could have a baby together." I explained and waited desperately for Aron to say something. He didn't utter a word, though. He froze in his place, and his gaze kept shifting between my belly and eyes. "You…you're carrying my baby?" he murmured.
"I'm sorry." My eyes glistened with tears. I didn't know what to expect, but I wasn't prepared for Aron's shock.
"What for? Are you and the baby okay?" He asked concerned.
"I should have told you before I stopped taking the pill." I smiled sheepishly, "I only found out this morning, I guess we're fine."
"What do you mean, you guess? We can call Mom."
"No, we're not. I haven't told anyone yet. When I'm ready, I'll ask Grace to examine me."
"As you wish, baby," Aron pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead. "I can't believe it; we're having a baby."
"You're not upset?" I asked as I snuggled into his chest.
"Upset?! Why should I be?"
"I should have asked you first, but I was afraid to talk about it, even to myself. I didn't want to have so much hope," I confessed.
"I'm not upset, baby. I'm over the moon. I…I want to ask you a hundred things, but right now I just want to hold you," Aron whispered in my ears as he led me upstairs to our room. I felt his eyes on me as I changed and climbed into bed. He lay beside me and placed a hand over my tummy. "You shouldn't have let me be rough this morning."
"Aron, the baby is the size of a grain of rice. It's okay. Besides, I like it rough sometimes," I turned my hand over and threaded my fingers through his holding it tightly. "I don't want anything to change."
"Everything has already changed. I'm sure you feel it too?" Aron looked into my eyes; his gaze was different; it wasn't only filled with love, but also contained hope. I swallowed hard and looked away. I knew things were going to change, but I needed some time to adjust. I didn't want to make any promises at the moment. I was vulnerable, emotional and overwhelmed.
When Aron kissed my hair, I looked up at him, "Now it's your turn. What did you want to tell me?"
Aron leaned down, his hand found the side of my neck and held on. "I love you; I wanted to tell you that I love you."
I lifted an eyebrow and held still as I felt his gaze on my mouth. "You're hiding something."
He hovered over my lips, "It's not important anymore." I lifted my lips to his, let the sensual shock vibrate through me. Everything else was quickly forgotten.
***
After more than two weeks, I couldn't take it any longer. It wasn't the morning sickness that got worse before it started getting better or my mood swings. It was Aron. He was treating me like I was made of glass. I found his attention touching and amusing at first, but not anymore. I was sexually frustrated, and my patience had run out. I had to do something about it.
That evening, I waited for Aron in our room. I knew he would come searching for me if I didn't show up for dinner. I wore the most wicked lingerie set in my wardrobe, sprawled my vibrator collection over the bed and waited for him.
As I expected, ten minutes later Aron rushed into the room. "Are you…," he broke off mid-sentence. From the dropped jaw and wide eyes as he stood in the doorframe, I knew I chose the right outfit for the evening. I smiled at myself as I saw how his gaze shifted between the items scattered over the bed and me. "What…what are you doing?" He finally asked.
"Isn't it obvious?" I challenged. "Since you don't touch me anymore, I need to get acquainted with my old friends here." I gestured at the vibrators in front of me.
"I told you, once, you see a doctor, we…"
"God, Aron. I'm a doctor. I don't need to be seen until I'm eight weeks along," I glared at him. "I know that sex is perfectly fine."
"We can't have the sex-life we used to have before. Things have changed," Aron took cautious steps toward me as he spoke.
I wasn't amused anymore, I was furious. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but we don't have a sex life at all."
"I didn't want to fail you. I just don't want to take any chances. The thought of losing you or the baby scares the hell out of me." He lifted my face up with his fingers gently pulling up at my chin till I was looking into his eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't want you to feel neglected."
The warmth of his touch had calmed me down slightly, I whispered. "It's probably just the hormones, but the nightmares are worse and you're not there. I … I just need you."
"I'm right here," Aron said and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.
"No, you're not. I need you, I miss you." I paused. "I… I love you, Aron. So much, I can't keep it to myself anymore." My tears fell, it didn't matter if I wasn't thinking straight or if I was emotional. The words came out.
Aron's mouth was on mine before I could say one more word. His kiss was unlike the careful, quick display of affection he'd given me since I told him that I was pregnant. He didn't even wait for my lips to part, he forced them open. I met his hunger with equal desperation. Our kiss was hot, passionate and perfect.
When Aron broke away, I was breathless. "If we're doing this, we're going to do it slowly and carefully," he whispered in my ear.
My mouth found his as I yanked and pulled to free him of his clothes. Skin to skin, we slowly rolled over the bed. "Come inside me, I need you inside me," I whispered. Aron didn't make me wait. He drove into me, and the world stopped.
When we finally collapsed onto the bed, Aron smiled at me as he stroked my hair, putting me to sleep. "I love you," were the last words I uttered before my eyes drifted close.
The next morning, I felt like a totally different person. I'd known that I loved Aron for a while now. Since I started having the nightmares again. I knew what triggered them; it was my love for Aron. They were the same as before with only one difference: it was Aron's blood covering my hands now. I didn't need to see a therapist to tell me the reason for my nightmares. I love Aron, and I'm afraid to lose him.
However, it took me a few weeks to be able to deal with my feelings. I still felt guilty from time to time, but I began to accept falling in love again. After last night, there was no turning back. I knew it, and Aron felt it too.
That day I was doing my Christmas shopping. I had an idea what to buy Aron for Christmas. After I visited the lingerie store, I stopped at the jeweler and found the perfect present — a thick gold band. It was simple with blunt and sharp edges. The ring was masculine without being pretentious, potent without showing off. I took another look at it before I gave it to the salesgirl to wrap it. Suddenly everything was clear, I would propose to Aron on Christmas Eve.
I finished early, so I decided to see Talia before going home. I found her in the nursery, putting her twins, Logan and Luke to bed. For a few moments, I stood in the doorway staring at Talia as she was humming a song to her
babies and changing their diapers. When she noticed my presence, she smiled at me and mouthed, "hi."
I approached as quietly as I could, gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and smiled at my sleepy nephews. I waited with Talia until the babies fell asleep then she took the baby monitor with her, and we went downstairs.
In Talia's kitchen, I sat sipping my coffee while listening to Talia as she spoke of her family and how happy Adam and Timo were with the new babies.
Suddenly Talia stopped talking and stared at me. "You look different," she observed.
"How so?" I quickly shot back.
"I don't know. But you look different to me. If I didn't know you well, I would have thought…" Talia broke off in the middle of the sentence and stared at me. "Oh, my God, you're pregnant."
I bit my lip and nodded. I hadn’t revealed anything about my pregnancy to Talia or Liv, mainly because of the risk of miscarriage, but I couldn't deny it now.
Talia jumped from her chair and gave me a big hug. "Congratulations!"
I was telling her about my feelings, fears, and anxieties when my phone buzzed in my purse. I frowned when I saw the caller ID. It was Brian Collins, Aron's lawyer. I took the call, and my world turned upside down. Brian was calling to tell me that I need to sign a few papers so that he could transfer my shares of the Hamilton Group to my account. "But what about Jacob?" I asked, confused.
"You don't know? Jacob isn't an issue anymore. The police found him dead in his apartment." Brian sounded puzzled at first, but he set me straight about everything.
When I hung up with him, Talia studied me for a moment and said, "He told you about Jacob."
"You knew?" I covered my mouth with my hand in disbelief. My lip trembled, and my hands started to shake. "You all kept me in the dark all this time? How could you?"
"Aron asked me not to tell you. He was afraid you'd push him away if you knew. He wanted to be sure of your feelings first."
"Oh, you mean he wanted to trick me into loving him." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I felt trapped and betrayed.
"It was for your own good. You've never been happier. We wanted to give you some time to realize that," she tried to defend Aron and herself. But I wasn't listening anymore, I grabbed my purse and rushed out of the door.
Talia came after me. "Tessa, wait! You can't drive like this."
"I love him. I love you. But right now, I need to be alone," I said as I dried my tears.
"At least tell me where you are going?" She pleaded.
"Home. Packing."
Chapter Twenty-Two
Aron
After last night, I had no doubts about Tessa's feelings. She finally said the words I craved to hear. Now there was no going back. I opened the safe in my office and took out my grandmother's ring. I’d done this often in the past few months. I’d take the ring out, stare at it, and put it back. This time it was different, though. Nothing was clearer in my head than the image of it on Tessa's finger. It is the right time. Tessa is ripe for my ring. She is ready for forever. Instead of putting it back in the safe, I quickly carried it in my pocket and left the office. I was going to visit our family jeweler.
Two hours later, I had the ring resized to fit Tessa's finger; I found a pair of diamond earrings that went so well with the ring and would make a perfect Christmas present. Although Christmas was in less than two weeks, I didn't want to wait until then to give Tessa the ring. No, I can't wait any longer. It has to be tonight.
When I reached for my phone to arrange for a romantic dinner that would fit the occasion, I realized that I left it on my desk. Annoyed with myself, I drove back to the office. As soon as I was there, I reached for my phone. I froze halfway down my chair and stared at my phone. Five missed calls from Talia and one from Brian, my lawyer. My first thought was something happened to Tessa. I tried to call Tessa first, but her phone was off. I instantly called Talia back, praying that Tessa and the baby would be okay.
Talia answered after the first ring. "Is Tessa alright?" I asked immediately.
"No, your lawyer called her earlier. She knows everything."
Frustrated I ran my hand through my hair. "She is not answering her phone? Do you know where she is?"
"She'd probably be home. Please, check on her. She was distraught when she left me."
"I will. Thanks, Talia. I appreciate you calling me.”
"It's okay. Call me again when you see her. Will you?"
"I will. Don't worry, everything is going to be fine," I assured her.
After I hung up with Talia, I called Brian, and he told me about his phone call to Tessa. She knew everything now, and I wasn't the one who told her. Knowing Tessa so well, I knew that lying was a hard limit to her. Although I knew trouble was coming, I had no idea how severe it was till I opened the front door and saw the packed set of bags on the doorstep. I realized how serious the situation was. I ignored the ache in my heart at the sight of the bags and took a few steps toward the living room. "Tessa?"
"When were you going to tell me?" She asked as I stepped into the room.
"Tessa, you have to believe me. I didn't want to hide the truth that long. But every time I intended to tell you something happened."
"You lied to me. There were so many occasions when you could have come clean." Tessa slowly turned her head to my direction. "You didn't."
"I needed time, Tessa. I wanted to give us a chance." I reached out to touch her, but Tessa sidestepped away from my hands.
"Don't! Please, don't touch me," her voice choked with tears.
"Tessa, please, let me explain," I pleaded.
"Explain what, Aron? We had an agreement, but you didn't hold your part of the deal," she paused. "We were living together. You saw my nightmares and didn't say anything. You left me to have them. Almost every night I saw you in that damn car, blood all over you."
"You mean, Seth. You saw Seth?" For a moment, I was confused.
Tessa shook her head. "No, it was you, Aron. But you did that to me. You tricked me into loving you. I didn't want to love you or anyone. I was satisfied with my life the way it was."
"I didn't know… You didn't tell me; your nightmares were about me?" I shut my eyes for a moment. I felt so guilty.
"You should have told me. You should have let me choose you of my own free will. You know something, back in August I was already halfway in love with you." Tessa stared into my eyes. The shadow of hurt that lay in her clear blue eyes was confounding. At that moment I loathed myself for hurting her. I was prepared for anger or rage, but I didn't expect such a confession.
"I'm sorry." I didn't know what else to say. Tessa nodded and rose to leave. "Where are you going?"
"I need to think about everything. I can't think with you in my space. I want some time alone. If you love me as you say, let me take my decision alone."
"Fine, I'll give you the time you need, but I'm not giving you up. I love you. You're my wife. You're carrying my child," I said, tearing a frustrated hand through my hair.
Tessa shook her head vigorously. "Our baby has nothing to do with this. You'll play a role in our child's life, but you won't be a part of my life unless I let you in." Tessa turned to face me, "I love you, Aron. I'm eventually going to forgive you. But I won't come back until I can trust you." With those words, she turned and left.
***
I respected Tessa's wish and gave her the space she wanted. Women are emotional creatures. Pregnant women, more than most. She needed time to blow off some steam. I understood that, but she'd come back. Yet, a week had passed with no word from her. I called Talia every day; she told me that Tessa was staying with Liv. When I found out that Tessa had forgiven Talia, I was expecting her to at least call me. She didn't, though.
Last night, I had to fly to New York on business. I texted Tessa, told her that I'd be staying in the Hamilton New York and that I'd fly back on Boxing day. She texted me back: Have a safe trip. It was better than nothing, though. At least she cares, I thought.
Although I had a hectic schedule in New York, it didn't help me to get Tessa out of my head. My heart ached as I remembered our last night together. Her gorgeous body shuddering beneath mine, just a scant week ago. Her eyes, the deepest blue-grey eyes I'd ever seen. They gazed at me full of passion, affection, and love as I made love to her. I hated that the last time I looked into those stunning eyes, they were full of pain, agony, and tears.
I sat down in my New York office, sighing heavily, not knowing how to fix what happened between us. The night before Tessa left, we'd had the best blooming night. We savored one another until the early hours of the morning before we started all over again. Then it all went downhill. I should have told her everything that night. Tessa would have been angry but she wouldn't have left. Maybe she would have kicked me out of the room, but she would have stayed. All I could do was to sit and wait for her verdict but it was so damn hard. I missed her. I wanted her. I needed her.
