“Really? You’re agreeing with him?” Austin asked like it was amazing.
“How do you not see what we see?” Ryan frowned. “Dylan shows up late to everything lately. When you call him on the phone, he’s always at a party—a party he’s not inviting any of us to by the way. And when he does show up at work, he’s always texting or staring off into space. He’s mentally checked out. Something’s not right with him. Something’s going on.”
Austin cursed and shook his head. “You’re right. I didn’t see it.”
And he didn’t believe me until Ryan spoke up. What the hell?
“So what do we do?” Austin looked at me like I had all the answers. “Have an intervention? Call a therapist? Or…I don’t even know who.”
I lifted a shoulder. “I’m not sure what good an intervention would do. He just walked away from the one I tried to have with him.”
“Screaming at him in the middle of a client’s parking lot isn’t exactly an intervention.” Ryan sighed.
I shrugged again. “Still don’t think another one would do any good. He doesn’t want to listen to us.”
“Hey!” Austin snapped his fingers. “Isn’t Maddie living with him right now? We should talk to her, see if she has any idea what’s going on with him. Ryan, why don’t you—”
“I’ll do it!” I shouted, interrupting Austin.
Both of my brothers turned to me with shocked expressions.
After a very long moment, Austin raised his eyebrows and said, “Okay.”
“Right.” Ryan blinked a few times. “Anything you wanna tell us, bro?”
“What?” I feigned innocence. “You guys are busy with your families and your wedding plans. Can’t a guy offer to help out? I was the one who noticed the problem first, if you assholes both remember.”
“Uh huh,” Austin said flatly. “And this has nothing to do with the fact that Maddie is a gorgeous, single woman living right next door to you?”
“Or the fact that she’s had a crush on you for forever?” Ryan added.
“Wait, are you finally going to do something about it?” Austin narrowed his eyes. “Or has something already been done?”
I shook my head and headed for my bike. Sometimes the best defense was retreat. “I don’t know what you assholes are talking about. But let me talk to Maddie. I’ll let you know what she says.”
“Sure.” Austin shouted at me as I straddled my bike. “Let us know what she says. Just make sure that’s all she’s doing. Maddie is a class act and deserves respect.”
The roar of my bike drowned out the rest of his lecture that I didn’t need. And I didn’t look in their direction as I pulled out of the parking lot.
Chapter Seventeen
Maddie
A few hours earlier
Back at Nathan’s condo
I watched the door close behind Nathan with wide eyes—mostly because I couldn’t believe he’d left me with her and also because I really didn’t want to look at my mom.
“You guys are cute together,” my mom said to my back because I still hadn’t turned around.
“Seriously, Mom?” I turned around and glared at her. “I can’t believe you—showing up to my place on a workday and embarrassing me in front of the guy I’m seeing? You’re crazy!”
“No, I’m concerned. You moved out of your apartment without telling me anything about it. You’re avoiding my phones calls and making me worry about you. What is going on? What’s wrong with your apartment?” She paused and took a sip of coffee. “Actually, you know what? I don’t think I need an answer. I told you not to move there. It’s a sketchy neighborhood. Not the kind of place I want my only child living.”
“No, you’d be happy if I crawled back into your womb,” I muttered as I poured myself a cup of coffee.
“What was that?”
“I said: you’d only be happy if I moved back into my old room.” That sounded similar enough, maybe? Although judging by my mom’s stone face maybe not. “I’m an adult, Mom. You gotta let me make my own decisions. My own mistakes.”
She sighed. “I know, honey. It’s just so hard. You’re my only child. I love you so much, and I just want the best for you. It’s hard to let go.”
“I love you too. Even when you drive me nuts.”
Mom smiled and lifted a shoulder like that was something that should just be accepted. She took another long, slow sip of her coffee, watching me over the rim of her mug. After a moment she asked, “So how long has this been going on? You and Nathan?”
I groaned. “Are we really going to do this? I thought I’d gotten to the age where you didn’t inspect my dating life.”
“Oh honey, there’s no such age.” My mom laughed heartily. Her shoulders shook as she took another drink. “But seriously. How long has this been going on? Are you two serious?”
“I don’t know, Mom. We’re trying to figure it out. That’s why we haven’t told his family about us. I don’t want things to be awkward with them if or when we break up.”
My mom put her cup down on the counter then folded her arms across her chest. “That’s what I’m worried about.”
“What?” A burning sensation swept over my scalp as a pit settled in my stomach. She didn’t see me and Nathan working out?
“I’m worried that you’re in love with his family and trying to make whatever this is work, so you’ll always have them in your life.”
It felt like she slapped me. That was the most messed up, crazy thing she’d ever said to me and I don’t… I couldn’t make sense of it. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
The hurt must’ve bled into my tone because my mom crossed the room and took my hand. She would’ve hugged me, but I pulled away.
“Maddie, honey, I don’t—I didn’t mean that as an insult or anything, I swear. I’m just worried about you. You’ve been in love with the Burns family ever since we moved into our house down the street from them. You took one look at that big family and wanted to be a part of it. I can’t count the number of hours you spent at their house over the years. They had everything your father and I couldn’t give you.”
The aching pain in her voice made me pause. Like I’d hurt her by wishing I’d been a part of their family. Like I believed our family was less than. I wanted to furiously deny it, but maybe she was right. There was a huge part of my childhood that I’d spent wishing I was a member of the Burns family. I’d wanted that sibling experience so bad. Someone to have on my side when my parents ganged up on me. Someone to whisper to at night as we were falling asleep. Someone to play with who loved me no matter what.
I swiped at my suspiciously wet eyes. “That might’ve been true when I was a kid, but I’m an adult now, Mom. I think I’m past that now. I’m with Nathan because I like him. I’ve liked him for a long time.”
She made a face like she really didn’t believe me but was going to let it go. “Fine. I’m a mom. I worry. It’s in the job description.”
“Right. Well, I love you anyways.” I let her fold me into a hug and rested my head on her shoulder. “But I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell Nathan’s family about us. We still want to see how things go between us before we tell them.”
“Honey—”
“Mom, no.” I pulled back and gave her a glare. “I know you’re capable of keeping a secret, and I’d really appreciate it if you could keep this one for me.”
“Fine, but I want the two of you to come to dinner tonight.”
“Mom. I have plans tonight.”
“Dinner. Tomorrow night. No excuses. And we can talk about whatever’s going on with your work that we haven’t talked about yet.”
“Blackmail? Really Mom?”
“I’m not afraid to play dirty.”
“Clearly.”
“Okay. I’m going to let you get ready for work. Call me later.”
My mom gave me another hug, opened Nathan’s front door, and looked both ways like a bad extra in a spy movie. “Coast is clear. Love you, honey!” Alth
ough her shout would’ve clued anyone in on our little charade if they been around to hear it.
I shook my head. “Love you too.”
As I let myself into Dylan’s condo, I really tried not to let my mom’s words bother me.
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. For some reason the line from Romeo and Juliet ran through my head. I wasn’t with Nathan because of his family. I’d always liked Nathan. And I was starting to believe that he really was the perfect man for me.
And judging by last night and his playful attitude this morning, maybe he felt the same way.
* * *
Hours later, work was done, and I stood in front of Hope’s front door with my heart in my throat. I really wasn’t good at lying. And here in a few seconds, I’d have to lie to two of my best friends. But it really wasn’t lying, right? I was just keeping a secret. That didn’t make me a terrible person, did it?
Ryan pulled open the door before I could convince myself of my innocence.
“Hey, Maddie. Come on in. The girls are in the kitchen.”
“Thanks, Ryan.” I smiled at him as I squeezed in past him. “Where’s Fliss?”
“Napping, thank god.” He groaned as he quietly closed the door. “Don’t tell Hope, but sometimes I worry she gave birth to a devil child. The smallest thing can make her cry like she’s being tortured.”
“Oh, I know. You don’t have to tell me.”
Ryan winced. “Crap. You can hear her clear through to Dylan’s place? I was hoping our walls were thicker than that.”
Right. Because he didn’t know I’d spent the night at Nathan’s next door last night. Or that I was the reason for a few of her crying jags because of how I’d slammed his door. “Oh, not really. I just meant because of how often I’m over here. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her from Dylan’s.”
“Good. Pretty sure Nathan can hear her, though. Not that I’m gonna apologize to him for it. That SOB deserves it and more. Did you know that one time he—”
“Ryan?” Hope called from the kitchen. “Are you going to let my friend come inside already? She’s here to see me, not you.”
“Hardly!” Ryan hollered back. “You know she was my friend first.”
I smiled even as I crossed the room to where Hope and Sabrina were hunched over wine glasses and a charcuterie platter. “Thanks, Ryan.”
“No problem, friend.”
“She’s mine, and you can’t have her back!” Hope fake scowled at her gorgeous fiancé. “Now go take care of our spawn. Don’t think I’m letting you get away with that devil child comment.”
Ryan winced. “You heard that?”
“I’m a mom. I hear everything.”
Ryan still laughed as he gave her a kiss on the cheek before walking out of the room.
Hope sighed. “I love that man, but I swear some days I want to—”
“Marry him?” Sabrina interjected. “When is that happening anyhow? Are you going to do a dual ceremony with Austin and Rachel?”
“Hell no.” Hope scowled. “I love Rachel, but she’s a bit too organized for me. We’d be at each other’s throats in no time at all if we tried to coordinate weddings.”
Sabrina reached for a cracker. “Mom is over the moon. Two weddings to help plan. And I swear it’s given her fuel to needle me. ‘Your brothers are getting married, and Ryan has given me a grandchild. Hint, hint.’ She’s not the least bit subtle.”
I smiled and laughed along, but I still felt a little pang in my heart. Was my mom right? Was all this about me wanting to be in the Burns family? Was that what my little crush on Nathan had been all about?
“What about you, Maddie?”
I blinked back into focus and smiled apologetically at Hope. “Sorry. What?”
She exchanged a look with Sabrina. “I was just asking what’s going on with you? How is it staying with Dylan?”
“Oh you know. Not bad. Dylan is hardly around so it’s almost like it’s my place some days.” I shrugged, belying my racing heart.
Hope and Sabrina exchanged another look. Like they knew something I didn’t.
Sabrina cleared her throat. “He’s not around? What’s he doing? Where does he go?”
And here was a whole other set of lies I had to keep track of. I doubted any of his family knew what was going on and I hated that he wanted me to lie for him. “He doesn’t exactly keep me in the loop. I’m just grateful he’s letting me crash on his couch.”
“How is the apartment search going?” Sabrina asked with a frown. “Do you need help?”
I shook my head. “I have to get out of my current lease first, and my landlord is being a pain in the ass. He never answers his phone, and a few days ago he refused my certified letter. I think I might have to hire a process server or something.”
“I’m sorry, Mads. That sucks.” Hope said.
Sabrina nodded. “Ditto. I’m sorry. It probably doesn’t help that you’re living next to Nathan either.”
My pulse pounded in my ears. “What do you mean?”
“You know. Just how he’s so close but so far away?” Hope gestured with her wine glass. “I mean you’ve had a crush on him for forever.”
“And his place is like a revolving door lately.” Hope scowled. “I swear, every time we’re trying to leave with a sleeping baby, he slams his door and wakes her up. Inconsiderate jerk.”
“You haven’t run into any of his uh, girlfriends, have you, Mads?” Sabrina asked with a concerned expression. “I swear that’s the last thing you need right now.”
“Like salt in the wound,” Hope said.
Both of them looked at me with concerned expressions, and it was so hard to keep it together. I was going to crack. I just knew it. “I can honestly say I haven’t run into any of his girlfriends.” Unless you counted the mirror, but we weren’t right? “I’ve been too busy trying to sort out my apartment and applying for new jobs.”
Because the best defense was the misdirect.
“New job?” Sabrina’s frown deepened. “What’s going on with your current job?”
I sighed in relief and filled them in on the upcoming budget cuts and what it most likely meant for my career.
“You know, I read an article the other day that said one of the most lucrative careers was a federal librarian.” Hope raised her eyebrows. “Have you thought about going in that direction? Are there any federal opportunities in Sac?”
I shrugged. “I’d miss working with kids every week, but I also have bills to pay. I’ll look into it.”
“You know for someone with everything going wrong, you’re looking surprisingly chipper.” Sabrina put down her wine glass and rounded the counter to look me up and down. “You have that glow…”
“You can’t tell that from just looking at me.” I looked at Hope for help but she just giggled into her wine glass.
“Aha!” Sabrina pointed a finger at me. “You admit it!”
I blinked “What?”
Hope giggled again then shrugged apologetically at me. “You kinda did.”
“No, I was talking theoretically.” A little voice screamed in my head, avoid, avoid, avoid! So I tried. “That’s not something you can tell by looking at someone.”
“And yet, I clearly I did.” Sabrina crowed as she picked up her win again. “So spill. Who is he? Where did you meet? How many orgasms did he give you?”
“Whoa!” Ryan called out from the living room as he entered the room holding his daughter. “Young ears in the room. Maybe warn a guy first before you start dropping words like that in our vicinity.”
“I shouldn’t have to,” Hope said with a glare that could’ve stripped paint off a building. “This is supposed to be my time with my girls. You’re supposed to be watching the baby.”
“And I am,” Ryan replied with a winning smile that didn’t lessen Hope’s glare. Finally, he sighed. “Okay. I’m sorry. I wanted to head over to Nathan’s place and talk to him about… You know what? It doesn’t matter. We’re go
ing. Say buh-bye to Mama.”
“Mama.” Fliss babbled as she grinned up at her mama, flashing a hint of a new, shiny tooth. “Bababa. Dada.”
“Aww!” Hope cooed before she bent down to kiss her slobbery baby. “Love you, Felicity. And you…”
Whatever she was going to say was lost as Ryan kissed her. And kissed her. And just after I had to look away because it was going on so long, Ryan grunted.
“Ow!” Ryan let go of Hope to hold his nose. “Sorry, Fliss. Your mama is just too pretty.”
Hope blushed as she took a step away from her family. “Okay. Go to Nathan’s. I’ll text you when we’re done and it’s safe to come home.”
“Love you.” Ryan grinned wolfishly at his fiancé, a lifetime of promises glinting in his eyes. His smile dimmed a little as he turned to include me and Sabrina. “Night, Sabrina. Congrats on the big O’s, Maddie.”
“Ryan!” I yelled as the door closed behind him.
“See that right there?” Sabrina tilted her head toward a still-flushed Hope. “That’s how I knew you were getting it. That’s the look of a woman who has awesome… Sorry, I can’t finish the thought. Ryan’s my brother. That’s gross.”
Hope just laughed. “But back to the main point. Who is he? Where did you meet?”
“How many orgasms did he give you?” Sabrina finished for her.
Now it was my turn to blush. Again. “Come on, guys. Aren’t we going to talk about this week’s book at all?”
Hope waved a hand. “Yeah, in a minute. Stop deflecting. We want to talk about the rom-com going on in your life.”
I groaned. If they only knew… “Okay, so I signed up for a dating app. I can’t remember the name, but the one where you swipe if you like them or not. And he messaged me. He actually sounded like a normal guy, not one of those asshats sending unsolicited dick pics. We met up for drinks and we’ve been seeing each other ever since.”
“Has he taken you for an actual date?” Hope frowned. “Or are you just hooking up?”
Sabrina snapped her fingers then pointed at me. “Ooooh! Get out your phone. Let’s see his profile!”
“Yes!” Hope all but screamed. “I wanna see his picture.”
Torque Page 14
