“Were you asking me about my marriage, because you’re plotting to make a move on Tameka?” he asked.
Yeah, but the feeling isn’t mutual, I thought.
My heart couldn’t afford another break because it would shut down for good and never operate again if another woman betrayed me. Besides, Tameka had her mind made up that she didn’t want to get close to me. A blind man could see the barriers she put up to keep me away. I shrugged at Channing, leaving his question unanswered and my feelings for Tameka up in the air where they’d been since the first day I laid eyes on her.
“I’m about to head out and let you two get to your nightly business,” I said as Kemara wrapped herself around Channing.
“Avoiding the question, but that’s cool.” Channing pulled Kemara closer to him. “See ya tomorrow. I’ll stop by the club.”
“See you then.”
Chapter 3
Tameka
I walked into my silent house. It was amazing how quiet home could be. Sometimes, it was so quiet that the silence caused me to get lost in extremely loud thoughts. At the moment, I kept thinking about Jeb. I didn’t expect to see him at Kemara’s house today. I had done well to stay away from him.
I could remember a time when he monopolized my dreams, or should I say dirty fantasies that involved Jeb, me, and a tub of whip cream. I’d dreamed of his tall frame dwarfing mine as he climbed atop of me with ocean blue eyes glaring into my soul. His chestnut brown hair beckoned me to touch the waves. I’d had more than one fantasy starring Jeb after our dance at the wedding, but with each passing day, it became a little harder to visualize him, and that was for the best.
I sat down on the couch and closed my eyes. An image came to the forefront of my mind. It was Jeb straddling me as he sprayed whip cream over my breasts then effortlessly proceeding to enjoy the taste of my flesh mixed with the sweet cream.
I snapped my eyes open and groaned. Seeing Jeb again exposed how easily he could seep inside of me and take over. I could barely look at him knowing the dirty things I wanted him to do to me. It was crazy how the longing glare filled with greedy desire in his eyes mirrored the way he looked at me in my fantasies.
I sighed and looked around the empty room. I longed to have my kids home at times like this. When I was in mommy mode, I didn’t entertain thoughts of Jeb or any man for that matter. My phone rang, rescuing me from visions of him.
“Hello?” I answered in a gravelly tone.
“Hey, Mama, it’s me,” Eva’s said excitedly.
I smiled. “Hey, Evie, what’s going on?”
“Maddie wants to know if I can stay for supper. May I?” she asked.
“Yeah, I guess that’s fine. Do you need me to pick you up after dinner?” I asked.
“Nah, her mom’s gonna drop me off at home. I won’t be home too late,” Eva said, sounding like a little lady.
“Okay, that’s fine. Let me speak to her mother,” I said.
Maddie’s mother came on the line, and we talked briefly about the plan for Eva to stay over for dinner. “Yes, I will bring her home around 8:30,” she assured me.
“Great. Thanks for letting her stay. Can I speak back to Eva?”
“Sure,” she said and handed the phone back to Eva.
“I’ll see you later tonight, Eva. Make sure you behave,” I said.
“I will. Love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, baby girl. Have fun.”
I disconnected the call and stared blankly at the TV. Kevin would be home soon, so the house wouldn’t be completely empty. I forced myself to get up and start doing some housework before dinnertime, which was only a few hours away.
When I finished doing the laundry, I glanced at my watch. Time had flown by. It was time to get dinner on the stove so that it would be ready when Kevin got there. I looked in the refrigerator for ingredients and decided to make a pot of chili.
At fifteen minutes to seven, I heard the door opening.
“Mom…I’m home!” Kevin called out.
“Wow…what happened to your jacket?” I asked as I rounded the corner to find my son taking off his jacket. I could tell it was filthy from where I was standing.
Kevin held the jacket away from his body as if he were afraid to get dirt on himself. “I got to wash it. We were playing ball.”
I grabbed the jacket and held it between two fingers. “Looks like you were just rolling around in the dirt,” I said.
“Mom, I had the best time. Tommy’s dad took us to the ballpark, and we hit balls. We ran the bases, and I slid in for a homerun. Then, after we finished playing, we went to the pond and dug for worms! It was so much fun.”
Digging for worms explained the dirty jacket, and Kevin’s budding smile was proof that he had a blast. Tommy’s dad had been a blessing in our lives. He spent quality time with his son and brought Kevin along too.
“Glad you had fun, Kev.” I kissed his cheek. “Run upstairs and get washed up. Dinner will be ready in a minute. It’s just the two of us.”
“Oh, really? Where’s Eva, Ma?”
“She’s staying at Maddie’s for dinner.”
“Oh, I like Maddie, but they don’t have good food over there,” he said as he ran up the stairs. “But I do say thank you when they give me food, Mom,” he added. Kevin knew I didn’t allow them to be rude when someone offered them anything.
“Good job, Kevin.”
I took his mud-covered jacket into the utility room where I put it in a basket by itself.
Kevin was sitting at the table when I walked into the kitchen. I scooped two bowls of chili and joined him at the table, just the two of us. I didn’t envision being a single parent when I had him. But we were all we had, and that was enough.
***
Three Weeks Later
I spotted Rodney’s beat-up, black pickup truck parked alongside my driveway as I pulled up to my house after work. He got out of his truck with a cocky grin plastered on his face as he trotted toward me. I frowned at the sight of him as I wondered what he was doing here. “What do you want?” I asked with ire in my tone.
“Hey, Tameka. I came to get the kids.”
“You say that as if it’s okay for you to show up out the blue, ignoring the schedule ordered by the courts and the same schedule we agreed on,” I reminded him.
As I scowled, a smile spread across his face. Rodney had a habit of smiling whenever he thought he was upsetting me as if he enjoyed being a pain in my ass.
“It’s not your weekend, so they’re not going with you,” I told him.
“Stop being so damn petty about the weekend thing, Tameka. You should work with me on that. When I can come and get them, you should be happy to let them go,” he replied.
“No, I’m not working with you because you don’t work with me. You can’t just waltz up here and think you’re taking my kids with you whenever you get fucking ready!” I paused, catching myself before I slipped into battle mode. That’s the zone Rodney liked to put me in, and I tried my damndest not to give him the satisfaction. “We have arrangements for a reason, Rodney,” I said in a lowered voice then turned away to walk inside.
Rodney grabbed my hand before I reached the door. “Tameka…”
“Don’t touch me!” I snapped, pulling my hand away from his grasp. “The days of you telling me what to do are over.”
“I’m sorry for touching you,” he said and backed off with his hands up. “I just figured that since I missed my last few weekends, and didn’t get to make that time up, I could settle up with them.”
Settle up? This man’s audacity was the size of all of the south. He thought our children were some kind of game he could ‘settle up with’ whenever he got the time. As if letting them down on his weekends wasn’t a big deal as long as he showed up with a bag of tricks later. The dumb smile on his face made it seem as if he enjoyed holding their hopes hostage.
“No, you can’t settle up when it’s convenient for you. That’s not happening today, Rodney.”
He
rolled his eyes. “Tameka, you always think it’s something negative going on. I’m just here for my kids. That’s all.”
“You don’t do anything for anyone! Everything is for yourself, especially since you got with whats-her-face.”
“Fine! If you must know, I just found out Melody is pregnant. We’re getting married, and I might not have much time to spend with our kids over the next few months. I want to give them what little time I have now before the baby gets here,” he said.
I couldn’t believe the words as they came out of his mouth. Or was it that I could believe him, and that’s what made it so horrible? How did I even marry this man? He had really pulled the wool over my eyes in the beginning. Lately, Rodney became the most selfish person I ever met. It was heartbreaking to hear him speak about our children getting what little time they could before his new baby came.
“Are you kidding me right now, Rodney? You show up, unannounced, and pronounce that you’re expecting a child, you’re getting married, and you want our children to get what they can from you before you cast them aside again? You know what? I don’t care about your situation. You can’t take the kids this weekend because it’s not your weekend. So get out of my driveway.” I marched up the walkway to my porch with the sound of his loud footsteps trekking behind me. When I reached my first step, I spun around and nearly crashed into him.
“Tameka, I’m taking the kids, so go ahead and get their things ready,” he ordered.
“I want to see you try it,” I dared him with fire raging in my eyes.
“They’re mine too!” he argued.
“Yes…they are, and it’s really about time you understood that fact. Instead of treating them like toys you remember ever so often, you should remember these kids are yours every day of the week. Do you know that you broke Kevin’s heart a few weeks ago? Do you know that?” I yelled.
“No, I didn’t know that,” he said arrogantly with an eye roll.
“Well, you did. All he talked about was going to that game with you. That time can’t be recovered, Rodney. And poor Eva. She doesn’t feel loved when she’s with you because you spend all of your time fawning over your conniving little fiancé, Melody. How pathetic is that? You don’t deserve any time with these children. All you do is break their hearts.”
Rodney laughed. “You’re too damn melodramatic, Tameka. You should have gone into acting. Were you always this way? I must have missed it before I asked you to marry me, but it’s definitely the reason I got out of our marriage.”
“You are unbelievable, Rod—” My mouth snapped shut when I heard the school bus coming down the road, and I mentally cursed Rodney.
Once Kevin saw his father, I wouldn’t be able to send him away without making our son cry his little heart out. Rodney smiled, crossed his arms, and waited for our kids to emerge from the big yellow school bus as if that had been his plan all along.
The second Kevin’s feet hit the pavement, he ran full speed toward his father. “Dad! You’re here!”
“I came to get you guys for the weekend. I bought waterpark tickets for the three of us. Doesn’t that sound like fun?” Rodney said, smiling at Kevin.
“Yes!” Kevin pumped his fist. “Mom, can we go?”
Owned by Rodney again, I plastered a fake smile on my face and opened the front door, so Kevin could run inside to get packed. “Sure,” I said, hoping Rodney wouldn’t make me eat that word.
Eva wasn’t amused by Rodney’s pop-up trick. She stood off to the side with her mouth in a straight line, and her arms crossed over her chest.
“Hey, Eva Bear,” Rodney said in a baby voice.
“Dad, I stopped being called that when I was eight years old,” she mumbled.
“Sorry, I forget you have reached the double digits. You are a mature ten-year-old now.” He paused and looked at Eva. “Go get packed so we can get to the waterpark. We need to be there in fifteen minutes.”
Fifteen minutes? This man probably only has a few hours to spend with the kids before his wife is on his heels again.
Eva looked miserable as she stared at me for confirmation that she had to go. My heart broke for her.
“Eva, go inside and let me talk to your father.”
I had a rule not to let our children see us argue. But, the more Rodney pressed me, the more I thought about bending that rule. I turned to Rodney and glared at him.
“Eva doesn’t want to go with you, Rodney.”
“Since when did we start letting the kids decide what they want to do?”
“When you started not showing up when you were supposed to.”
“Tameka, she will be fine. I’ll take them to the waterpark, and if she wants to come home after that, I’ll bring her back.”
“Are you sure? Because I don’t want any mess out of you, Rodney.”
Rodney threw his hands in the air. “Gentleman’s promise.”
“First, show me a gentleman,” I mumbled as I spun on my heels and went inside to talk to the kids before they left.
Eva and Kevin both had packed for the impromptu weekend with their father, and Kevin bounded down the stairs, yelling, “Goodbye, Mom!” He kissed my cheek and was out the door.
I met Eva in the middle of the stairwell. I hugged her as I said, “You’ll be home on Sunday, sweetheart. If you need me before then, give me a call. You have your phone, right?”
She nodded, and I kissed her cheek.
“Bye, Mama,” Eva said and walked to the front door slowly.
I watched them load into Rodney’s truck that had seen better days. He gave his young fiancée a late model BMW while my kids had to ride around in this barely-working contraption of a truck. A little piece of me rode away as I watched it disappear down the street with my children inside. I closed the door and heaved a sigh. I didn’t know what I was going to do now that the kids were gone, but I didn’t want to be alone.
A little after 8 p.m., I left home dressed for a night on the town. Kemara had plans with Channing, and my friends, Alise and Jayne, were both busy, so I was riding solo. I drove around town until I saw this place that looked like a beacon on the hill, drawing me to it. Club Elite. As many times as I passed by this club, I never thought to go inside. Yet tonight, I strolled through the darkness with only a hint of light shining from the strobe lights. A song by the Black Eye Peas was playing setting a relaxing mood as I approached the bar.
“Excuse me, can I get a Long Island Iced Tea?” I asked the bartender.
“Yeah, sure,” the bartender said.
I looked out at the dance floor, and the scene was beautiful to watch. Couples were moving in seductive, fluid motions filled with sexual tension that was almost contagious.
Someone’s getting their back blown out tonight, I thought as I looked at one particular couple that was dry humping like there was no tomorrow.
I remembered when Rodney and I used to dance as if we were the only two people in the room. It seemed like ages ago since I felt that way with anyone.
“Here’s your drink, ma’am,” the bartender said, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Thanks,” I replied as I laid down some money. “But don’t call me ma’am. You’re making me feel old,” I said teasingly.
“Oh, my bad.” He nodded and headed off to the next customer.
I sipped my drink and watched the action on the dance floor. I was intrigued by the way the crowd moved to the music. A local singer had gotten up on the stage and was singing “Giving Him Something He Can Feel” En Vogue style. Her sultry voice reminded me of Alise’s, and I made a note to tell her to check into this place for a singing gig.
I sat my empty glass on the counter as the bartender came over to my area. “Can I get another one?” I asked him with a smile.
“Coming right up, Luv!” he said, smiling back at me.
Luv beats ma’am any day, I thought as a guy grabbed the barstool next to me. I smelled his cologne before I saw him, and it was an intoxicating scent that had me intrigued.
“Hey, sexy,” he said in his deep baritone that accentuated his lovely aroma perfectly.
“Hey,” was all I could say as I stared at him.
The man was the epitome of sexy—dark chocolate with a smile that could make a woman beg for forbidden things in a dark, sweaty room in the heat of the night. His eyes were dark brown, and I got lost in their magnetic pull.
“You come here often?” he asked as his eyes roamed over my dress approvingly.
The many things I could do to him in a bedroom flashed in my mind, and I wanted it all to happen tonight. “No, but I’m glad I’m here now,” I said, grabbing my second drink and taking a long, much-needed sip from it.
Mr. Chocolate’s eyes drifted down to my cleavage, and he bit his lower lip and leaned against the bar, taking a drink of his beer. “Me too, baby…me too,” he said. “But what’s a sexy thing like you doing here alone? I know you got a man somewhere,” he asked.
I crossed my legs, and my skirt rode up a little higher on my knee. “No, I’m single, and I was just waiting for you to show up. It’s about time you arrived,” I said.
He arched an eyebrow and smirked. “Damn, girl, you’re saying all the right things with that pretty little mouth of yours. I bet that beautiful mouth can do wonderful things,” he hinted, and I laughed as his eyes slid down to my thighs. He wanted to touch me, that much was clear.
I decided to put us both out of our misery. I grabbed his hand, placed it on my knee, and inched it further up my thigh. I opened my blouse a little more to reveal heated flesh that longed to be touched. I leaned over and whispered close to his ear, “Do you really want to know what my mouth can do?”
I hadn’t been with a man since God knows when, and tonight Mama was out on the town and ready to play, so I was definitely in rare form.
“Girl, I would love that,” he said, adjusting himself in his seat. His breath rose and fell quickly, and his eyes sparkled under the club’s dim lighting.
I pulled back as his hand remained on my knee. There was nothing typical about this encounter, and I didn’t want it to be. He didn’t need to know I had two kids at home, or that I was out of character. We finished our drinks, and he ordered one more round. I felt the buzz from the first two drinks, but that third one almost took me out. I was loopy after that one. Before I knew what was happening, I had finished it and was on my fourth.
Safe Place Series Page 4
