by Laynie Bynum
First breakfast, then you clean.
It was stupid. I’d been here less than twelve hours, if that. I wasn’t entirely sure because there were no clocks. But it hadn’t been long. Still, I wasn’t sure who had been in this room before me. And while it looked pretty sterile, my medically trained brain was sure it could use a wipe down.
I cleaned the cell from top to bottom, inside and out, and everywhere in-between. I wasn’t going to take anything to chance, and who knew what medical assistance they would have offered their prisoners here. if they were vindictive enough, they may even heal us to full health when we get sick so we’d continue to rot away within their cells all the longer.
Regardless of their vindictiveness I wasn’t going to take anything to chance. And it kept my mind preoccupied as I worked over every surface in the room. But the time went by too fast, and within what seemed like moments I was back alone with my own thoughts, no distraction anywhere to be found.
There was no way to determine how much time had passed. I felt as though I laid on the small slab of a bed for hours when in reality it could have only been minutes. The magic of the Grey, or the lack thereof, could easily drive a mage insane, especially with the sudden inability to do that which we were born to do.
And I tried.
The smallest spark. The weakest pulse. But there was nothing. No amount of will could conjure up even a sliver of the small amount of magic I once had. It appeared to truly be gone.
The now familiar yet still startling sound of metal cracking resounded through the cell as a guard appeared just beyond it. It wasn’t the same guard as the one who took me to breakfast, but a shorter, fatter version with the same colored uniform, hair, and eyes.
This one didn’t bother to explain where we were going. He didn’t even bother to speak as we walked through the empty hallways to two metal doors that screeched and groaned as they opened. Beyond them sat broken asphalt surrounded by a metal fence that seemed to stretch to the sky. Dogs—hellhounds really, judging by the spikes on their tails and the razor-sharp teeth jutting from their massive jaws—paced back and forth outside of the gate.
I was hoping that the outside would give some indication of where we were. Climate, scenery, anything to help me pinpoint our location. That portal could have taken us anywhere.
But, as it stood, there was nothing but a dense forest beyond the gates and I was a woman of medicine, not a botanist.
Still, something about the eerie grey color of the sky told me that even if I could identify the trees, I wouldn’t be able to narrow down where we were.
I’d heard whisperings about artificial realms before among some of our patients. Things the Guild were working on to train their forces in simulated warzones without drawing the attention of the earthbounds. But I'd never imagined that the Grey lay inside one.
Not until that moment.
As quickly as the guard had arrived at my cell, he disappeared from view, leaving me alone in the vast empty prison yard.
Before I could decide my next steps—possibly try dribbling a basketball for the first time in my life—a steady stream of inmates flooded through the doors, bringing with them the shouts and murmurs of people who’d been isolated for far too long.
I sidestepped out of the way and against a wall, watching as they formed into small groups at picnic tables and around the basketball and tennis courts. I hoped to see Kai’s aquamarine hair bobbing through the flood of orange, white, and black.
“New here too?” a husky male voice said from beside me. I wasn’t sure how I missed him creeping up on me.
I composed myself from my minor scare by smoothing my hands over my hair. “Last night.”
“So I’ve got about four hours on you then,” the uncannily attractive man from the lunchroom said as he put his hands in his pockets and relaxed against the cold brick wall. “Feels good to be more experienced than someone at least.”
This guy, Kai, me—it seemed the Grey had received a fresh round of new faces.
“I’m sure it’s something to be proud of,” I said with more bite than I intended.
He nodded to the crowd of inmates still flowing through the door. “Were you looking for someone?”
I wasn’t entirely certain that having friends here did me any good. And I didn’t exactly want to bring Kai into this. But I was pretty sure he already knew and just wanted me to admit it. “Yeah.” Short, sweet, and to the point. I answered his question without giving any information.
“How do you know Kailani Akana?”
My eyes narrowed as I turned my full attention to him. “How do you know Kai?”
He held up his hands in surrender. “Before this, it was my job to know people. And, no pun intended, that girl makes waves.”
“I met Kai in the intake line. My job before this was to keep to myself and let people live their lives.”
“Mmhmm, how’d that work out for you?” He motioned to my uniform.
I gave him a smile that was more of a screw you and turned to leave, hoping that Kai had somehow gotten past me and was out in the yard somewhere.
“Wait,” he called after me. When I turned back his expression had turned serious. “I didn't mean to offend you.” I took a half step back and he smiled again as he continued. “It’s nice that you don’t get involved with the drama. It means you don’t know who I am.”
I settled back against the wall with him, more than a little curious about his last statement. “Who are you exactly?”
“If I tell you, you aren’t going to start treating me like they do, are you?”
He motioned out to the crowd and I followed his line of sight. It was true, every group in the yard seemed to be talking about him, eyeing him up, watching his movements. And none of them looked particularly happy about it.
“You aren’t going to tell me you’re some kind of mass murder or something are you? Cause then, yeah, I’m going to get as far away from you as possible.”
I expected him to laugh, but the already sharp set of his jaw managed to tighten even more.
“Not quite,” he said in a low voice. “I worked for the Guild.”
It shouldn’t have sent shockwaves through my body, but it did. The very people that I’d been fighting against—running from—my entire life. I was talking to the enemy.
I pushed off the wall again. “I’ve got to go. I have to talk to Kai anyway.”
“You don’t have to run.”
“I’m not running. I’m—” I did need to talk to Kai, so why did it feel like I was lying?
“Everyone here thinks I’m some sort of mole, but the Guild threw me in here when I refused to work for them anymore. I’m here as punishment just like the rest of you.”
Silence lingered between us as the vein in his neck thumped in time with the pounding in my head.
“There you are,” Kai’s voice said from close by. “I’ve been looking for you. We were supposed to talk about getting a letter out—” She stopped speaking suddenly as she saw the man in front of me. “Oh, hi.”
He held out his hand for her to shake. “Princess Kailani, it’s an honor.”
Princess? What in the fresh hell?
“Don’t call me that. Not here. Not anywhere.” Her voice was commanding, serious. I could see how she could be a princess. Why Winter would choose her to represent her people.
“Kai, then,” he said as she took his hand. “Xander Williams, high dark mage of Birmingham.”
She dropped his hand quickly as if it was burning hot and glared at him. “I didn’t think assassins had to identify rank like other mages.”
“I’m no longer an assassin. Therefore, I don’t live by that code.”
Kai didn’t look satisfied with that answer.
“How high were you?” I asked, swallowing. I had never known a dark mage, never mind one of any decent Level. Perhaps, if I could talk to him, I could explain to him what I did, or failed to do, and we could figure out some way to convince the Guild of
how clueless I was and that nothing I did mattered or made sense or—
“High enough to know it’s too high,” he mused with a faint smirk on his lips.
I turned to face Xander suspiciously. “Then how long were you an assassin in the Guild?”
“Until about twelve hours ago,” he said, looking at a non-existent watch on his wrist. “Like I said—I told them I wasn’t working for them any longer, and they didn’t like that.”
“But there are more like you? Who do what you do? I mean… did what you did?”
“And what did I do?” he asked, assessing me. “Maybe instead of asking so many questions, it’s time to answer some yourself.”
I squared my shoulders under his stare, stood straighter and held my head high. Kai, in all her five-foot glory, angled herself as if to stand between us, though we both knew, regardless of our missing magic, there would be no way the two of us could take him.
But at least we could look good trying.
“What do you want to know?” I asked.
“Why are you here?”
I should have known that was going to be his question—isn’t that what everyone wanted to know about everyone else? Why any of us were here? Because the Guild decided we were too dangerous to stay with the earthbounds, so they made us one of them instead and locked us up so no one could find us. Why they didn’t actually send us back to live with the earthbounds was still a mystery—it was as if they were too concerned about keeping their secrets to trust any of us to keep our mouths shut.
But that meant I had every right to declare myself as wrongfully accused or as ill-fated as the rest of the inmates in that yard. So I forced myself to look Xander straight on as I answered.
“My sister was killed. I tried to bring her back.”
His eyes seemed to widen, though only slightly. If I wasn’t paying attention to his every detail I would have missed it.
Xander leaned forward, closing the minimal gap between us to block out the rest of the inmates in the yard. “Who was your sister?”
“Winter. Winter Quinn.” Her name felt strange on my lips. Her softness didn’t belong in this hard place.
The color seemed to fade from his chiseled cheeks at my admission.
I gritted my teeth; did everyone in this damned place know about Winter but me?
But instead of offering me condolences or telling me about what kind of a mage my sister had been, Xander pushed himself off the wall, keeping his head down, and walked away from us without another word.
“Hey!” I called out. My voice must have traveled louder and further than I attended because a group of inmates at the table next to us, as well as the nearest guard, turned their attention in our direction.
“Shh,” Kai hissed, placing a hand at my back. “Don’t draw attention, remember? It’s bad enough you were seen with him for this long. Just let him go—you don’t want to be around someone like him.”
“A high-Level dark mage assassin?”
Kai shook her head slowly from side to side.
“An ex-Guild.”
Chapter Six
Despite Kai’s warning and my own internal debate, I wanted to talk to Xander again. Every time I had the opportunity, however—in the cafeteria, out in the yard—he seemed to avoid me. The longer we kept from talking, the more I felt the need to speak with him about what I’d done, or at least what I tried to do, and find out if I was going to be able to talk to my sister again. Maybe, if he told me I was a fool and I did it all for nothing, I’d be able to move on and fade away like the Guild wanted me to.
Or, if he told me the complete opposite—that what I was doing would have been successful if I wasn’t interrupted, knowing my efforts were not in vain could help me survive the remainder of my existence in the Grey.
But neither of those questions would be answered if I couldn’t get Xander to talk to me.
My opportunity finally arose one evening during dinner in the cafeteria after what felt like days of trying to get his attention. I had yet to find Kai, so I moved through the food line alone, hoping that approaching without the bright blue water sprite at my side would make me inconspicuous. Kai would understand, even if she would berate me for it later.
Xander had secured a table in the back corner, furthest from the main hall. It wasn’t surprising really. The others avoided him at all costs. I knew they watched me as I made a beeline towards him, but his head remained down, focused on his slop, so I knew it was my chance.
Placing my tray on the table, I slid into the seat across from him. Either I was that good, or he was that distracted but he didn’t seem to realize I was there until I was sitting down.
He moved to leave, but I reached out and grabbed his hand, keeping it still as I kept my voice low.
“Please. I just need to talk,” I pleaded.
His sharp features remained cold despite the fact that he didn’t pull his hand back. “I have nothing to say.”
“Please,” I said again, internally cringing at how pathetic I sounded. My other hand reached out to join the first and I watched him as he watched me. “I just need to know.”
“Know what?” he asked, sounding incredulous, though there was something in his eyes that almost looked like… panic.
That wasn’t unusual. We were all a little panicked in the Grey.
“I want to know if it would have worked.”
He stilled and stared at me, so I tried to explain further.
“I need to know if my sister would have come back… if I had finished.”
My words finally seemed to register and his shoulders relaxed as he settled back in his seat. Only then did I realize my hands were still clasped around his and I pulled them away quickly to distract myself, glancing down at my own, untouched food. Dinner would be over before we knew it so we needed to talk fast and eat faster—who knew what tomorrow would bring for anyone in this place.
“How were you able to do it?” he asked, his voice low as if someone would be able to hear us over the loud din of the cafeteria. I didn’t blame him, though—it was the Grey. The Guild had ears everywhere and I wouldn’t be surprised if they had charmed the walls with audible spells.
“Do what?”
“The Vivitas spell.”
I blinked at him.
He sighed as if annoyed that he had to explain. “The spell you cast that got you here. The one where you tried to bring your sister back from the beyond. The black magic.”
Oh.
I leaned in closer to him, keeping my voice down just as he had. “There was a book my sister kept hidden. I knew there were certain… spells… in there that white mages weren’t supposed to attempt. But I also never understood why there were spells for different magics in the same book to begin with—”
“Autumn.”
“Okay, Okay,” I breathed. “The answer is I don’t know. Which goes back to the spells being all together in the same book. Shouldn’t magic all be derived from the same place? And shouldn’t a mage be able to decide which moral direction they want to follow when casting said spells?”
“That goes against Guild protocol,” Xander mused but I could tell he was intrigued.
“It’s true, though,” I continued. “If magic comes from the mage, shouldn’t any mage be allowed to practice any magic they wish?”
“Who told you that?”
I frowned. “My father.”
He looked at me thoughtfully for a moment. “The Guild mandates and distributes the spell boosters. The potions. How did you get them as a Rogue?”
I peered at him, my instincts kicking in. We had been careful our whole lives; I knew what I had said, and what I hadn’t. “I never told you we were rogues.”
He hesitated. “You didn’t need to,” he said quickly stumbling on to his next thought. “I was a high-Level black mage assassin, remember? There are certain things we need to know.”
If I was going to survive I needed allies. I needed answers. So I accepted his explanation an
d moved on. “We didn’t take the boosters. Winter believed we didn’t need them, that we could do well enough on our own. And we do. Or at least, we did...”
He drummed his fingers against the hard table, his brow furrowed as if he was thinking. “What is it?” I asked.
His gaze lifted from his food and met mine. “What if—”
But he wasn’t able to finish his thought as the loud alarm that signaled the end of dinner drowned out the remainder of our conversation. I felt my stomach sink, and not only because I hadn’t eaten nearly enough. The time had passed too quickly, and I felt as though we got nowhere, and now I would be left alone with the uncertainty that only sleeping in the Grey could do to a person.
“We’ll finish this tomorrow,” he assured me as he stood, tray between his hands and already moving towards the trash line. I was quick to follow, not wanting to be the last one left behind.
Nodding, I emptied my tray as soon as it was my turn. “Tomorrow then—”
I looked up to say goodbye to Xander, but he had already moved out of sight.
Only as I began the slow walk back to my cell, I realized I hadn’t seen Kai.
Chapter Seven
All of my worry about her the night before was for naught as she bobbed and weaved through the crowd toward me during our recreation time the next day.
“I have news,” Kai said by way of greeting.
After not seeing her at dinner the night before, the shock of the blue among the grey was a comfort. A small smile graced my lips as she stood next to me. Having her near was almost like a security blanket, keeping me safe from the unknown.
But that also meant I still needed to tell her about my dinner with Xander.
I looked around but there was no sign of him in the yard. I feared Kai’s presence would dissuade him from approaching but I needed her nearby as much as I needed him. I hoped neither would be hesitant to approach me for any reason, but I would have to worry about that at another time. Like all of our time within the Grey, it was scheduled and limited despite the eternity that awaited us.
