by Laynie Bynum
“And then what?” I yelled into the darkness that seemed to deflect away from my sister’s apparition. If they had cameras on me, and I was sure they did, if they didn’t already assume I was going insane, I’d definitely solidified it for them. “What can I do, Winter? I’m in the Grey. And not just the regular Grey, I’m locked away in some secret hole in the ground that I’m sure the basic guards don’t even know about. My parents are dead. My sister is dead. The girl I considered my little sister, who we brought in and treated as our own, betrayed me by turning me over to the Guild. The only friends I have left are in extreme danger if they’re not already dead or still locked away in a cell like this one. What good would trusting do me now?”
“Today is the day all of that changes. Get up, they’ll be here soon. Look at you, you’re a mess.” The ghost fussed with my uniform, attempting to brush off the shoulders and knees from the dust and smudges of dirt that had accumulated. I didn’t even bother looking—there was nothing my eyes could see in the darkness anyway. “Just like when you were little, and Mom and Dad told us not to play in mud puddles. Do you remember that? You’d pretended to be obeying and the second they turned around you made a beeline right for the muddy water. That free-spirited, rebellious nature is bred into all of us Quinns. It’s why you never got in trouble, even when you ruined your perfectly good clothes.”
I reached my hand out to the ghost as she spoke, but it went right through her like an airplane cutting through a cloud.
She isn’t really here.
“Why, Winter? Why did you never tell me about all of this? About the rebellion? About Kai?”
She stared at the floor, twirling her white hair in circles around her finger. “That’s a lot of questions and none of them have an easy answer. I didn’t want you hurt and I didn’t want to get hurt. So I decided to protect you as well as I could.”
“What? Why?”
“It was one thing to sacrifice myself and my own well-being for something I believed in. I would even go so far as to say I had no reservations about sacrificing Lucy’s, as horrible as that sounds. But not you. Not yours. I didn’t want them to get to you. I didn’t even want them to know about you. You were my weakness, and that put the entire plan in jeopardy.”
“And Kai?”
Even in her ethereal form, I sensed Winter flinch. “Watch the way she watches him. The way her eyes linger on Frost a beat too long. The way her voice softens when she talks about him. She didn’t love me. She couldn’t. Not when she’s in love with him. What good would it have done to tell you about someone who would never belong to me, only to hurt us both?”
“She does though. I feel it when she’s talking about you. There was more to it than you think. I don’t think Kai would have—”
“It does no good now. None of it matters. What you need to do is protect her. She may seem tough, but she has her vulnerabilities, just like the rest of us.”
The apparition stopped speaking and stood without warning. “I have to go. He’s coming.”
“Who? Who’s coming?” I asked as I pushed myself up to a sitting position.
But there was no response, and just like that, as quickly as she appeared, the vision of my sister was gone and in its place, nothing but the lonely, extreme darkness.
The darkness only lasted for a moment longer, and in its place was a blinding ray of brightness that felt as though it was going to burn my eyes from their sockets. I cringed, hiding my face in my arm as I tried to escape the bright light.
A figure in the doorway walked toward me, the light cascading over them and blotting out their features. I pushed myself up on my hands and knees and scrambled away from the door as far as I could. I knew it was useless—there was no escaping this room, or anyone who entered. They controlled the game—they made the rules. I was a mouse trapped in a cage with a snake.
“There’s no need to be afraid,” Frost’s calm voice said as if he was an animal trainer coaxing out the lion for his next trick. “I’m not here to hurt you, Quinn daughter.” His deep-set features came into view as my eyes adjusted to the unexpected light.
“Why do you keep calling me that?” Every time he’d seen me, every time he tried to be kind, those were the words he said to me, how he addressed me. It was as if this was his way of connecting with me, but it remained strange. An odd moniker to give someone you hardly knew, and I hardly knew him.
“Because underneath it all, you are your mother’s child. Her fire burns in your veins, although in you it lights a different path. I saw it the first time I laid eyes on you, when you called the Guild representatives for Winter. I watched you hold yourself together like the true leader you were meant to be”
The thought of my mother made my stomach churn. If nothing else, my parents’ memories were preserved deep inside of me and away from the colorless stain of this place. At least their deaths gave them that solace. Their legacy remained permanent and untouchable in the minds of those who knew them.
The way Hudson Frost spoke about my mother, however…
“You knew her, didn’t you?” I asked carefully as if talking about her too much would bring forth a spirit, not unlike the ghost of my sister. The mention of his presence at that first Guild call was not lost on me. The strange figure that seemed separate from the rest. The one that seemed to be watching my every move.
“I know her,” he corrected. “And if you survive this escape, you may get the chance to reacquaint yourself with her as well. Although I must warn you—she isn’t exactly what you remember.”
My mind was spinning. Was this just another illusion? Was Hudson Frost no different than a ghost, like the vision of my sister? Had he, too, come to taunt me with reminders of the dead long gone? “That’s impossible,” I breathed.
He smiled, although it held an emotion that wasn’t happiness. Pity, perhaps? Maybe nostalgia? Either way, I wasn’t sure and didn’t have the time to figure it out before he spoke again. “You should have realized by now that all things are possible. But I am not here to speak about the past. I came here to discuss your future.”
I glanced around at the empty black walls surrounding me. “What future? There’s no future in this place.”
“Correct. But outside of this cell, the prison is in chaos. The prisoners are rioting, thanks to our shared aquatic acquaintance. The guards are striking, refusing to put themselves in harm's way to calm them down. The revolution is starting, Ms. Quinn.”
Pulling my knees to my chest, I leaned my head against my knees as I attempted to center myself. “Did you come in here to gloat then? About how I won’t get to be a part of it? About how I’ll die in this hole either way? That the Guild will win, and we’ll continue to remain their subservient slaves?”
“Very much the opposite. They will come to get you. And when they do, remember this very vital piece of information. It will take both of you to get through the barrier surrounding this place. No matter what happens, you cannot separate until you are through the wall.”
I looked up at him. The words made no sense, even if my mind was slowly losing control. “Who?” He could have meant anyone. Xander. Kai. Even Draven.
But he was already retreating out of the room as if my question had never been asked.
I screamed for him to come back, to let me out, to put me in a normal cell. I even screamed for him to answer my questions, but none of it did any good. Not even as he paused in the golden archway of the cell, as if it led to another, better afterlife.
“Please, tell me,” I begged once more.
Hudson Frost only stood there, staring at me from the other side of the doorway as it slid shut in front of him, once again leaving me alone in the darkness.
Chapter Twelve
Thinking about time was useless, just as I was useless, and I began to believe that they forgot I existed in whatever hole they had left me in. Nothing Frost told me gave me any indication that there was hope, and even the ghost of my dead sister couldn’t convince me there
was anyone I could trust. People who were supposed to be my friends had abandoned me—chances were they only needed me just like my sister had needed me. For errands, information, a guinea pig in a plan that seemed bigger than I could ever imagine.
Their friendship was a farce, just like this prison was a farce. It wasn’t real, none of it mattered. They forgot about me and the world would be better for it. Xander would be better for it, Kai would be free of the memories I brought. Lucy could have the house as she wanted, and the Guild— like always the Guild would win.
I could give them that. I would… if it made the madness end once and for all.
A madness that was making me see things. Hear things.
A shuffling. Yelling. Dreams and reality merged into one. I never knew when I was asleep versus when I was awake—they were all one and the same now.
This dream, however, seemed louder than the others.
Sounds were increasing in intensity as they grew closer to what I assumed was the entrance to my cell. I turned my head from where it lay on the dirty mat, begging my eyes to adjust and my ears to home in on something other than my own heartbeat.
There were clearly footsteps against the expanse of concrete outside my door. And then banging, like someone was knocking and trying to get in. A muffled voice yelled through the wall, but I couldn’t make out the words.
And then silence again.
My head fell to the mat in frustration. Just another hallucination. Just more irrational hope. I would have screamed in frustration but my throat was so raw and dry it felt like my voice clawed its way up from my throat.
Suddenly, a male’s voice shouted from the other side of the cell door. It took a moment for my mind to register it through the distortion of the wall.
“Get back!”
That voice.
That slow-as-molasses, deep-as-a-well husky voice. I wasn’t sure how long it had been since I heard it, but it felt like a bottle of ice-cold water on an excruciatingly hot day. A favorite song lost to memories heard once more.
I pushed off the mat and crawled forward toward where I believed the sound was coming from on the other side of the door, just as an explosion of light and splintered rock knocked me backward.
Xander.
I coughed and heaved and struggled to catch my breath from the physical force of the blow and the shock of seeing him, of seeing anyone after so long in isolation. He stepped through the rubble of the door like a first responder saving a victim trapped in a well, or a cave, or both…
“Thank God that bastard was telling the truth,” he said as he came rushing in, throwing his arms around me and holding me tight against his chest. “I would have blasted open every single one of these doors until I found you but trusting him turned out to save more time—and time is one thing we don't have.”
I heard his words, understood their meaning, but I wanted to be selfish. Just for a minute. I wanted a minute alone with him. I reached up lazily to touch his face. “Are you real? Or are you like Winter?”
“What? Autumn, did you hit your head in the blast?” He put his hands on my shoulders and moved me an arm’s length away, tilting my head this way and that as if inspecting for damage. “Anyway, you still look like hell. Come on, we have to get you out of here.”
He lifted me into his arms just like the rescue worker I imagined and headed for the door as I struggled to get a toehold on reality. “I wish the dreams would stop,” I murmured as I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my head into his shoulder. “They’re just giving me hope for something that will never happen.”
Just before we reached the jagged opening of what remained of the cell, he stopped short and stared down at me. “Autumn, you aren’t dreaming dammit. I’m not leaving this hellhole without you. You’re the only reason I’m doing this. The only one who has enough faith in me to make me think I should. I need you to snap out of it. Now.”
His words were sobering. I forced myself to blink against the light, to look up at him, to process what he was saying, what he was doing. What I was doing.
“Put me down,” I said calmly, shifting in his grasp.
He obliged, holding me steady while I placed one foot on the ground and then the other.
Carefully, I placed weight on my legs that felt like they hadn’t been used in years. Slowly I took one step and then another, and only once I was certain I would be able to proceed without assistance, I looked back to him.
“Let’s get the hell out of this place.”
The prison around us had erupted into chaos as we ran through the maze of hallways and corridors. Prisoners were running every which way, and the guards seemed like they were powerless to stop them. Maybe they were. Maybe Frost’s news was legitimate and he could have been trusted.
Maybe…
Maybe I was going to find out sooner than I thought.
We turned another corner, Xander leading the way as if he had memorized a map of the Grey— with as long as I was locked up, maybe he had. One final turn brought us to an intersection of cell blocks and in the middle, stood Kai and Hudson Frost, locked in a deep, animated conversation.
Kai saw us first, looking as though she saw a ghost, or that I did, in fact, look as bad as Xander said I did. Neither seemed to matter to Kai as she flung her arms around my neck and hugged me tight. “Thank the gods you’re alright.”
The affection caught me off-guard, but I returned the hug as best as I could. “So far, so good,” I assured her.
“We won’t be for much longer,” Hudson Frost murmured from behind us. “Kailani, we must execute the next part of the plan.”
“It’s always plans and schedules with these Guild mages,” she whispered to me, but there was a smile on her face as she stepped back. It faltered only slightly as she turned to Xander. “You did something right for once in your life, Williams. Remind me to give you a gold star when we get out of this.”
“I’ll be sure to wear it proudly,” he said with a smirk.
Kai returned it before she glanced back to Frost. They shared a nod and she looked to me. “Xander and Hudson are going to lead you the hell out of here.”
“Wait, what about you?” I felt panic rising in my chest. I had just gotten out—I hadn’t seen anyone in far too long—and now Kai was going to leave me again?
She gave me a reassuring smile as she lifted a pack onto her shoulder. “Someone has to keep the party going.”
“You’re staying?” I was incredulous.
“Only until I’m certain you’re out. Consider it one final favor to your sister.” She gave me a wink.
“But—”
“No buts.” She looked to the men that flanked me. “I’ll see you on the other side.”
“Kai, wait!”
But she was already hustling down the hallway, whooping as if it was the last day of school and she just finished her last final exam.
Maybe that’s all this was. A test.
“We need to move,” Hudson said firmly, and didn’t wait for a response as he gripped my arm and began to lead me down the hallway.
Xander seemed taken aback and hustled to keep up with us. Frost largely ignored his presence though I could see the glances he continued to toss at him, the frown that remained deep-set on his face that had nothing to do with the chaos surrounding us.
Together we rushed through the prison, over rubble and around cell doors that looked as though they had been torn from their magical hinges. The healer in me wanted to stop—that part of me needed to look inside those cells and make sure no one was harmed, but neither of the mages surrounding me would have allowed it. Not at the pace we were moving.
We were moving so quickly that we didn’t see the guard that stepped into our path, blocking us from the outside world. We didn’t realize someone could have been waiting for us, to keep us from our escape until we were too close. I could already taste defeat as the guard raised his hands, the magical force of his power building up between them.
I
was too weak. I had been locked away in that cell in the darkness for so long and had given up so long ago that I hadn’t even considered my own skills, hadn’t even tried. I hadn’t the energy or the reason to try, and now this was going to be the end of us. I couldn’t expect Hudson to raise a hand against one of his own, and Xander—
The unexpected force of black power that threw the guard from his feet had me yelping in surprise. I peeled myself away from the protective arms of Hudson Frost to turn to see Xander standing there with his arms still raised, panting as his hair plastered against his brow, matted with sweat. The look on his face showed that even he was surprised at what he had done, but Frost had the sense to keep us moving.
“The irony is not lost,” he mused as we walked through the door and over the unconscious body of the guard.
I almost didn’t hear him as the fresh air of the outdoors smacked me in the face. I couldn’t help but close my eyes and cherish it, just for the moment. I knew we had to keep going, that the rest of the world was waiting for us just beyond that wall, but I needed this moment to remember who I was.
“What irony?” I finally asked after my third deep inhale.
“That the very mage responsible for your sister’s death would be the same one to save your life.”
I felt like the life-giving air had been knocked out of me.
As I slowly turned to face Xander, the look on his face—the one of pure undiluted shock that most certainly matched mine—told me that he had heard Frost’s accusation, and that there may have been some truth to it.
“What is he talking about?” I asked, my voice hoarse as I took a step closer toward Xander.
“Autumn, it’s not what you think—”
“What I think? I think you’re nothing but a liar and a con-artist and a murderer.”
He had the decency to hold his ground, raising his hands almost defensively which made me stop, thinking about the power that had just emanated from them and the guard on the ground because of it.
