by Matson , TC
Tears are welling up in her eyes. For as long as I’ve known Fay, she’s never cried. Ever. She’s always had a tough exterior. “I’ve never doubted your choices in anything you’ve ever done. Your life is your life. But, Ash, I’m telling you this is the worst mistake you’ll ever make. You’re going to regret it regardless of how you compartmentalize it.”
“You don’t underst—”
“You’re wrong. I do,” she interrupts me. “You’ve been ripped apart and left devastated. You got a second chance and in the blink of an eye your world was flipped upside down. I can’t fathom that type of hurt, Ash. I can’t. But you persevered through the anguish and found your footing. You help others who feel like their futures hold nothing. You’re the best fake brother slash best friend I could ever ask for.” She wipes a tear that is running down her cheek and takes a breath before leveling me with a stare. “They didn’t die because of you. It’s not your fault. You’re not some divine deciding factor. All the bad luck doesn’t mean it’s because of you.”
“I’ve fallen for her,” I admit.
A sad smile falls on her. “I know. Yet you’re the one causing yourself devastation all because you’re scared to be vulnerable for her and tell her how you feel. You’ve braved through more than this before. Burying your family. Picking yourself up off the floor and starting over…all with a purpose and a smile. So what if she breaks your heart? Tell me what the difference is if she does it or if you do it to yourself?”
“You’re pretty brutal.”
“Passionate because I love you and I’m not wrapped up in some warped sense of emotional sabotage. I know what you deserve and it sickens me to think you can’t have it because you continue to blame yourself. Now get off your ass and go to her. You have no one on the books and Tig said something about having to come in for a late appointment.”
* * *
I knock and then shove my clammy hands into my pockets. There’s shuffling on the other side of the door and then Kenlyn pulls it open. Her eyes flash wide, but there’s no smile as she rocks back on her right leg.
“Hey,” I say.
She studies my face for a second that feels like an hour. “Hi.”
“I’m sorry,” I say full of true remorse. “I’ve been busy and things got away from me. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was pulling away.” On the way here, I debated what to say and the truth is, I’m not ready to explain the deaths and the dark times. Not yet. Slowly, I’ll bring her into my world in hopes the universe doesn’t steal her away.
She takes a step back, gesturing for me to come in. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah.” I have no damn idea what to do.
“Are you off today?”
“Shop was slow and I didn’t have any appointments. I wanted to see you.”
That lights a glint in her eyes. I’ve stood here awkwardly long enough. I need to feel her. Reaching out, I wrap my arms around her shoulders and pull her close. She sinks into my hug. “I’m sorry,” I tell her again.
She tilts her head back to look at me and I don’t let her respond. I slant my mouth over hers and kiss her. Sliding my hands down her back to the crest of her ass, I pull her body tighter against me. She lets out a small moan, sliding her hands up my chest to the back of my neck.
“Are we good?” I pull away peering into her gaze.
“Yeah.”
My lips twist up. “Can I stay with you tonight?”
She takes my hand in hers and leads us to her bedroom where she slips back under the covers waiting for me to join her. Removing my clothes except my boxers, I slide in, pulling her body beneath me, and slowly kiss her. Hands snake around to my back as I sink my fingers into her hair and cup the sides of her head.
Her hips rock forward slightly, just enough so I feel the heat between her legs trace over my cock. Holding myself up on my left elbow, my fingers slide over the fabric of her shirt. Just as I’m slipping my hand under her shorts and panties, she snatches my wrist, stopping me.
“The last time you showed up unexpectedly and we had sex, you disappeared.” Worry mixed with hurt singes the edges of her voice while perturbation swirls in her eyes.
Go with honesty, I tell myself. “I needed a breather. I got spooked.” Damn, my heart is thundering in my chest.
“About?”
I kiss the corners of her mouth. “Nothing you should worry about.”
“You know you can talk to me. Right?” Her voice is sweet.
“I handled it.” I nudge her nose with mine. “I won’t disappear again. Promise.” I think.
She runs her hand through my hair and I seize the moment to kiss her again, hoping it’ll end this conversation. It does. She lets it go, including the grip she had on my wrist. Taking it as a cue, I slide my hand under her shorts and glide a finger through her folds where I push into her.
Letting out a small sigh, her eyes fall closed and she rocks against my hand. My dick is straining against my boxers with the need to feel her strumming through my veins. She lifts her ass and helps me shimmy her shorts off her legs. As I discard mine, I grab a condom from my wallet.
Her lip is between her teeth as she watches me grab my dick and roll the condom down my length. Nestling back between her legs, I push forward, entering her with a slow press. A sexy little moan escapes her. Her eyes roll as her mouth falls open. Pleasure sweeps across her face as I bury myself into the sweetest fucking heaven.
Each thrust elicits a delicious whimper from her. Her pussy begins to throb, her body jerking with quick snaps as it begins to unravel.
“Ash…”
“I got you, baby.” Picking up the speed, I pump long fast strokes, drawing out her orgasm.
Her eyes squeeze shut as she arches her back, subsequently pushing her head into the mattress. She is riveting when she comes undone—mewling as ecstasy washes over her. One hand grips my ribs as the other tightens in the sheets.
It’s my undoing. Electricity sizzles through me as I push harder and pump deeper, chasing my ending.
“Shit,” I hiss, gritting my teeth as my body releases.
Brilliant white lights flash behind my eyelids. My pulse rushes into my ears. My body tenses with the sudden rush of euphoria. I root myself as deeply as I can with the need to get as deep as her body will let me as I spill inside of her.
Our chests heave as we catch our breaths. I can feel her heart frantically pounding against my chest.
Her head is resting against my chest. My arm is wrapped around her, lazily drawing circles on her hip. “Kenlyn?” I whisper unsure if she’s asleep.
“Yeah?”
I swallow down the panic. “I don’t want to share you.”
She lulls her head up to look at me. “Are you asking to be exclusive?”
“That. Definitely that.” I swallow again. Damn this shit’s harder than I thought. “I’ve never had a serious relationship, so I don’t know what protocol is here.”
She pushes up to her elbow with skepticism, lifting her brows. “Seriously?”
I push a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Unless you want to count high school.”
“I bet you were a heart breaker in high school. Did you woo all the cheerleaders with your eyes?”
She still hasn’t answered me.
“Woo?” I laugh. “And not all the cheerleaders,” I say sarcastically. A few were faithful to their boyfriends and there’s the unspoken rule that you don’t fuck your teammate’s girl.
She giggles as she lays her head back down. “You’ve had my undivided attention, Ash. I haven’t seen anyone else since we started doing whatever it is we’re doing.”
My grin explodes despite the soft panic simmering below the surface.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The ringing of a phone pulls me out of a wonderful sleep and drops me right on the edge of reality. Ash unwraps his arms from around me and rolls, causing the bed to shift. He mutters a quiet “shit” before quickly getting out of the bed.
/>
“What’s up?” he whispers as he disappears into my en suite, softly shutting the door behind him.
Although it’s hushed, his baritone voice travels through the still of the night and to my ears. I can’t quite make out what’s being said. I know I shouldn’t, but with everything that’s been going on in the past week, I can’t help it when my feet quietly pad closer to the closed door.
“What do you mean you’re leaving?” He sounds shell-shocked. “It got heated today. That’s all. Doesn’t mean it’s over.” Pause. A knot in my stomach forms. “How the hell can I make it better? Why not you try to fix it?” Another pause followed by a sigh. “Fine. But I expect breakfast in the morning.”
My heart jackknifes.
Before he exits the bathroom, I rush back into bed and pretend to be sleeping. I hear the rustle of his clothes as he gets dressed, the sound of his zipper echoing.
The bed dips. “Baby…” He presses a soft kiss to my temple.
My pulse thunders. “Hmmm?”
“I’ve got to go.”
I roll so I can look him in the eyes. “Why?”
Please don’t lie to me.
“Gotta go pick up a friend. She needs me.”
She…
“At two in the morning?” Disbelief causes me to squeak.
He frowns. “I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” His kiss is tender but quick. “Stay in the bed. I’ll let myself out.”
With tears stinging the backs of my eyelids, I watch him close my door without looking back. The demand for more information was right there, lodged in my throat, but I let him go without even a single question. Last night he wanted to be exclusive and only hours later he’s leaving my bed for another woman.
Needless to say, sleep doesn’t come.
* * *
“You’re positive you heard him right?” Lucia asks over the steam of her coffee as we approach the elevators.
I wasn’t able to fall back to sleep. I tossed and turned for an hour before giving up and tried focusing on a work project so I wouldn’t call Ash or wake Lucia up with all of it. I’m surprised I waited for her to get her coffee consumption in before unloading it.
“Absolutely. I snuck to the bathroom door and listened to him whispering.”
Lucia’s sigh sounds sullen as we step into the elevator. “Okay. Yes, it sounds pretty damn shady, but we know some situations can be taken out of context. You only heard one side. You need to talk to him.”
A hand slips through the closing elevator doors, pushing them back open and Soraya springs in. “Woo. I made it.” She tucks her hair behind her ear and gives us a huge smile. Her attention immediately goes to Lucia’s arm that’s covered by her blouse. “Has Ash finished it yet?”
Lucia shakes her head. “I’ve got one more appointment left. We haven’t been able to get our schedules to line up.”
Soraya nods. “He stays booked up. He’s gifted as hell.” She leans closer. “Words of the wise—don’t try to get with him. Although he has new flings every week, he doesn’t mess around with clients.” A roar of jealousy slams into me.
Lucia snorts. “I’m definitely not trying to get with him since he’s dating Kenlyn.”
Soraya sucks in a breath and slowly turns to face me, her brown eyes wide. “Have you gotten past the third date?”
Confused, my brows dip low. “Yeah. We’ve been seeing each other for a month.”
“Holy shit!” she squeals, the metal can we’re riding amplifying the sound. “Wait until I tell Graham. He won’t believe it.” She claps and then turns serious. “Do Tig and Del know?”
“I don’t know.”
“Tig better not have been holding out the hot news from me.” The doors open and she holds them. “He’s got an ugly reputation, but he’s a really good guy. If Tig and Del love him like family, trust me, he’s got to be good.”
The doors shut, leaving Lucia and me alone. She nudges my shoulder. “Get out of your head and talk to him. Hear it from him before you think the worst. Soraya said he was a good guy. Give him the benefit of the doubt.”
* * *
The bell above the door chimes as I push it open and step into the tattoo shop, but the sight before me makes my heart sink. She’s gorgeous. Tattoos wrap both her arms and snake down both thighs…the ones wrapped around my recently new boyfriend who just asked me to be exclusive less than twelve hours ago. Bright red hair falls like a curtain in her face. She’s latched on to Ash’s back, laughing.
“Get off me, woman,” Ash laughs, shaking side to side.
“Not until you admit it was good and you loved it.”
“I’d love it better had you given me more of it.”
“Fine. Let’s go back to your place and I’ll give you more. Damn you’re ravenous,” she giggles.
A sharp pain tightens in my chest as a lump forms in my throat. My eyes begin to sting as hurt cloaks me.
Ash twists one way but jerks another, which causes her to yelp as she slips around and into his arms. He looks like he’s cradling her against his chest—one arm under her knees the other around her back. “Should have thought more about my satisfaction before we ran out of time.”
“Um, Ash?” someone, I think Del, calls from the back.
He glances to the voice and then turns to me. For a split second, his face lights up until it registers what he’s doing. He looks to the woman in his arms, back to me, and his smile disintegrates. “Shit.” He drops her. “Ken—”
Spinning around, I’m out the door before he can finish my name. Why does this always happen to me? I’m never good enough to keep someone faithful…ever. I’m always on the receiving end of the pain. I should’ve known better than to trust him. Nothing I do or say ever makes someone stay.
Tears are burning my eyes. I grit my teeth, blinking furiously to keep them at bay. I refuse to let them fall in the company of strangers.
“Kenlyn,” Ash calls my name before grabbing my arm and stopping me. “It wasn’t what it looked like.”
I whip around to face him with a sardonic laugh. “Right. Because I have never heard that one before.” I yank my arm from his hand. “She wasn’t wrapped in your arms while you two were having a damn moment. Right? Is that not what I saw?” I snap.
“Hear me out. She’s a friend.”
My laugh is empty, maniacal. “Give me something I haven’t heard before, Ash.”
His jaw muscles flex as he grinds his teeth. Fire dances in his eyes, but I see the worry deep within them. The door to the tattoo shop opens behind him and the redhead steps out looking like she actually gives a damn.
“I’m assuming he’s used the ‘wasn’t what it looked like’ reasoning,” she steps up beside Ash. He doesn’t unlock his stare from me. “It’s the truth.”
“You like men, Fay?” Ash grinds out, his eyes never leaving my face.
“Ugh. God no.” She curls her top lip. “What’s there to like about the male species?” She shakes her head and leans it on his bicep. “He’s like a brother to me. I’ve been with my girlfriend for nine years.”
I blink. Oh my god. Mortification begins to drip through my body and burns through my limbs.
“I’m grabbing a coffee,” he tells her and then grasps my hand, pulling me to the little shop beside his work.
“Ash!” the barista greets him the moment we step in. “Haven’t seen you around lately. How the hell have you been?”
They clap hands with a curt shake. “I’ve been good. Busy as ever.”
I don’t miss the way Ash peers out of the corner of his eyes at me. The guy behind the counter grins, turning his attention to me. “This guy drinks pure gasoline with a few extra kicks. What can I get you?” he asks.
I need to drown my embarrassment into a gallon of ice cream, so I order a chocolate caramel Frappuccino in hopes it’ll be just as effective.
“You cooled down now?” Ash asks, sliding beside me into a booth.
“If you’re so close with
her, how come you’ve never told me a thing about her?” I ask.
“Probably because when I’m with you everything else ceases to exist.”
I hate that my heart just fluttered.
“When I’m with you, I don’t think about other things,” he continues. “But I’ll admit if the tables were turned and I walked in on that without knowing, I would’ve made a complete ass out of myself.”
I give the barista a small smile as he places our drinks down in front of us. I’m assuming he senses the tension because he doesn’t stay to chat.
“Fay and Luna never argue. They’re the couple that makes everyone jealous, always laughing, always smiling, and always in love. So when she called asking for a ride out, I scrambled. And today has reminded me I have a life outside of you in my arms.”
Dammit. There’s that flutter again.
“What you saw, that’s us. That’s how we are. We cut up and joke a lot.” He grabs my hand and runs his thumb over my knuckles. “I’ve never thought about what it looks like from someone else’s eyes because there’s never been someone else to think about.” At this rate, my heart is going to sprout wings. “I’ll knock it off.”
I shake my head. “No. Don’t change your dynamics with her because of me. Now that I know…” She’s so much more his type than I am.
“She’s excited to meet you. I talk about you all the time.”
Smiling, I glance up to him. “Really?”
“Yeah. We talk about everything.”
“Hey, lover boy,” Fay calls out entering the coffee shop. “Your appointment is here.”
“Shit,” he grumbles before shoving to his feet and pulling me with him. “This is Fay, the annoying brat of a fake sister. This is Kenlyn, my girlfriend.” My girlfriend. The title sends butterflies storming me.
Fay bounces on her toes and slams a hug into me. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve been beating him over the head to bring you around, but he’s selfish and wants to hog all of your attention.”
Ash chuckles and squeezes my hand.
