by Rebecca York
He took the train home, tempted to bury his problems in a bottle, but he’d found out quickly that was not the way out. He wanted a little sunshine in his life. He wanted Sarah.
The moment he stepped into his small room it felt suffocating. Even with his new bedding and little Christmas tree. This wasn’t home. He knew the expression, home is where the heart is, but his heart was definitely not in this room. He’d lost it somewhere, and didn’t have any idea how to find it now that it was gone.
Was it the night his father died? Or the day his dad had arrested Jay Shoresky and his buddies didn’t want to hang around with him any longer? Perhaps it was when his mother had moved them to New Jersey. Was it Afghanistan itself--or the fact he’d signed up to be a sniper?
Who could keep a heart intact after all that he’d done and gone through? It had deserted him, maybe lost in the desert with no way back.
He hit the streets, keeping his head low, his hands buried in his pockets. He took the shortcut through the small, deserted park. It wasn’t quite five, but the sunlight had faded to dusk, the moon behind streaky gray clouds. He could see the bright lights of Main Street casting a glow in the night sky.
A drink at Nick’s bar would set his world right. People, conversation, anything that didn’t remind him of the past...or the bleak future.
Head down, he pushed forward and when he hit the main avenue his pace quickened. About to push the door open to his favorite restaurant, someone grabbed his arm. He whipped around defensively.
“Sarah! What are you doing here?”
“I guess the same thing as you.” She smiled brightly, and the place where his heart belonged lurched. “Can I buy you a drink? I have exciting news to share.”
“You decided to keep the baby?” He couldn’t keep the hope from his voice. She’d never forgive herself if she didn’t—it might take years, but the regret would always be there. Besides, if she kept the infant, she’d also be more open to having a man around. A chore that would please him a lot.
“Sh! I did make a doctor’s appointment.” She gave him a gentle push. “Come on. I’ll tell you inside.”
Byron looked up, saw the two of them, and a big dopey grin spread over his face.
“Hey, guys. You here to keep me company at the bar, or will you want a table?”
“Naw, just drinks.” Sarah shook off her coat and hung it on the back wall where they had a row of hooks. She took off her wool cap and her pretty waves sprang free.
Mick also removed his jacket, hat and gloves and sat on the stool next to her. “We just ran into each other,” he said to Byron. “But she’s bouncing with excitement, so it must be pretty good news.”
“Great! Is champagne in order?” Byron braced his hands on the bar. “For good news it’s on the house.”
Sarah laughed. “It’s not that good. I’ll have a glass of red wine. How about you, Mick?”
“I’d like one of those Irish coffee drinks, if you don’t mind, Byron.”
“Hey, I’m a bartender. I’ve got it covered.”
“How’s the music going, Byron?” Mick put an elbow on the counter, leaning forward. He was seated in such a way that he could easily see Sarah without turning his head.
“What music?” Sarah asked.
“He’s writing again,” Mick whispered, as Byron poured red wine in a balloon-shaped glass.
Byron handed her the glass and answered Mick’s question. “I’ve got a couple songs I’m working on, and my agent asked me to send them to him.”
“That’s awesome news!” Sarah beamed. “Meg didn’t tell me. Guess she’s waiting until you get your offer.”
“Like that’s going to happen.” Byron had some hot coffee brewed, but heated the mug with water first, then drained and added the coffee. He used a tablespoon of brown sugar and gave it a good stir, then added a generous helping of whiskey and heavy cream. After handing the mug to Mick, he wiped his hands on a towel. “Cheers to both of you. It’s nice seeing you together, and not at each other’s throats.”
“We put our differences aside,” Mick told him, then tipped his mug to Sarah’s wine glass and looked in her eyes. They were the most gorgeous greenish-blue, and full of spark. Whatever had brought this change, he was happy for her.
“Okay, out with it. What’s happened?” he asked, wanting to take her hand. But he couldn’t. Not with Byron watching them.
“I saw a real estate lady today. Byron, it was Toni, who sold you your home. Anyway, I don’t want to outstay my welcome, and I’m not going to move to Hawaii either. I want to be here with my family.”
“That’s great news, Sarah.” Byron drummed his fingers on the counter. “Meg will be really pleased to hear that--free babysitting and all.” She made a face at her brother-in-law.
“Did you find something suitable?” Mick asked.
“Well, first I was thinking of renting, but nothing really appealed to me. And then I remembered the annuity that I bought after Mom and Dad passed away. I know they would want me to be here in Heaven--with all of you, and especially now with a new baby. I could feel their blessing, as I was discussing it with Toni.”
“What do you mean?” Mick asked, not laughing at her, but really wanting to know. He’d had times overseas when he’d felt his father’s hand on his shoulder, giving him strength when he had none within him.
She ducked her head. “Sounds stupid, huh?”
“Not at all.”
“Anyway, Toni assured me that I’d be able to borrow against it. She also thinks I’ll qualify for a low interest loan.”
“So you’re going to buy a place in Heaven?” Mick asked, happy for her, but happier for himself. He’d see her more often, and with any luck, well, who knew what could happen?
“If it all works out, I am. I saw the cutest little two-bedroom apartment today. It’s on the third floor and has a view of the park. It’s not big, but the park is only two blocks away, and from the balcony I could see a glimpse of the lake, and the snow-covered trees. It’s beautiful.”
“No wonder you’re smiling. I’m happy for you, Sarah.” In spite of Byron’s presence, he put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in for a hug. “Congratulations. That was a really big decision.”
“Thank you. I know it’s the right one too.”
Mick couldn’t agree more.
Chapter Twenty
Sarah switched to sparkling water, as did Mick, who insisted they order a couple of appetizers to share. Sarah called Meg to tell her not to hold dinner, and settled on splitting an order of calamari, and another of flatbread topped with spinach, mushroom, and gruyere cheese.
She enjoyed it highly, having skipped lunch. When they tried to pay the bill, Byron said it was his treat.
“Best brother-in-law ever,” Sarah said, meaning every syllable.
They said their goodnights to Bryon and walked outside. The chill hit her at once, and she put an arm through Mick’s, wanting his warmth, and not ready to say goodbye quite yet.
“I don’t feel like going home,” she told him. “Do you?”
Mick looked down at her. His eyes were smiling, and there was something about his expression, not a cockiness, because he wasn’t that kind of guy, but a look that clearly told her he didn’t want to go home alone.
“We could go have another drink somewhere, or you’re welcome to see my place. It’s not fancy, but it’s close, it’s warm, and I’ve got cable TV. Bought a little Christmas tree.” His lips twitched. “First one in years. I’m a changed man.”
“Seriously? That is really cool.” Was she partly responsible for the changes in him? The thought made her heart skip a beat. Remembering the kisses, his mouth on hers. The look in his eyes after he kissed her--it had really been something. And for him to buy a Christmas tree? Was that too because of her? She hoped so, and yet the thought frightened her as well. Could their relationship be anything other than friends? No way was she ready for a man in her life, and yet....and yet. He was not an ordina
ry man.
“Yeah, don’t know what drove me to it. All of a sudden I found my place depressing. It never bothered me before. So I decided to spruce it up a little in the hope you’d see it one day.”
His head was bent and he gave her a shy smile. It almost broke her heart. He was such a sweet guy, a once-broken man who’d gone to hell and back, and couldn’t make sense of the world he was living in, or the man he’d become.
“I would be delighted.” She tucked her hand in his arm again. “Lead on, my friend. Do you have a backgammon board by any chance?”
“No. I used to play that game, was pretty good at it too, but I haven’t had any use for one since I got back. No one to play with.”
“Well, now I know what to get you for Christmas.”
He laughed. “What can I get you?”
“A welcome mat? For my new home?”
“Consider it done. I’ll even bring it myself if I’m invited.”
They were only a half-dozen blocks away and entered his apartment ten minutes later. It was in the same building that Meghan and Byron had rented, but they’d been on the top floors, brighter and bigger. His was smaller than she expected, only a studio with a bed and dresser, a forty-inch TV, an overstuffed chair and a dingy bathroom. He was right. It was dreary. It made her sad to think of her beautiful apartment in the city, her sister’s home, and now the one she might buy--when he had so little.
Yet, there was a pretty lighted Christmas tree, and his bedding looked new.
Heart hurting, she gave him a bright smile and focused on the positive things. “Hey, that is a super-cool comforter, and the matching pillows look great!” She walked around, and caught sight of the small fluffy carpets on the wooden floor. “Hey, these match perfectly. And your Christmas tree is adorable.”
He looked embarrassed, and actually blushed. “It’s nothing, but better than it was.”
“And I appreciate the gesture.” She turned to him and put her hands on his face. “Did you do this for me?”
“What do you think?”
The question hung in the air for a moment, and she shrugged her jacket off and dropped it on the lounge chair. “I think so. And now that you’ve got me here, what are you going to do about it?”
He put his hands around her waist and tugged her close—then his mouth clamped over hers. The kiss was soft, it was sensual, and melted her heart.
“Whatever you want.”
Her knees felt like jelly as her lower abdomen tightened with awareness and the familiar tingling of desire. She hadn’t desired anyone since the rat doctor dumped her five minutes after he’d had her for the final time. She blinked her eyes. This man wasn’t anything like him. Mick was kind, gentle, ready to please. Her newest best friend. A man she could trust. But not with her heart. It was too soon, and she wasn’t ready, nor was he.
It was just sex, and it would make them feel good. Nothing wrong with that.
She didn’t want love, she told herself. She wanted to be held, to feel the hunger in a man’s body, to have a man look at her the way Mick was right now. The same way that Byron looked at Meghan, as though she were the most precious thing in the world.
“Mick,” she said softly. “I didn’t come here to see your place. I want to be held. To be kissed.” She looked into his eyes. “I want to make love to you. Are you alright with that?”
He nudged against her and she could feel the bulge in his pants as the answer. “What do you think?” He shuffled her backwards until she fell on the bed, and then he joined her.
They held each other for a long time, his kisses tender, his hands stroking her, making her squirm with need until she moaned her pleasure. Her mouth took control of his, her tongue demanding, his giving, until he rolled on top and broke away long enough to get rid of his shirt. She undid his belt buckle, their eyes never breaking contact.
“Get undressed,” he said, standing to drop his jeans. His erection made a tent in his light-blue jockeys.
She shimmied out of her jeans and tossed her sweater on the floor. She lay there watching him as his eyes roamed hungrily over her, taking note of her lacy black bra and panties. His brown eyes glittered, his jaw worked, and his voice cracked a little when he whispered, “You are the most beautiful woman in the world.”
He made her feel like she was. Rick had never told her that, or made her feel this way. Mick’s intensity, his need of her fueled her own. She wanted to pleasure him as much as he did her.
Mick knelt beside the bed and removed her undies. His hands roamed up her legs and settled between her thighs. “Can I touch you here?”
Her breath hitched, her pulse raced. She moved against his hand. “Yes. I want you to.”
He straddled her and kissed her some more, his fingers stroking her in all the right places. Her hips moved against his, urging him on. Desire built like a flame, heating her inside and out. He unhooked her bra and tossed it to the floor. He took an erect nipple in his mouth, sucking on it, licking it, making her squirm with pleasure. His hand played with her other nipple, and she wanted him inside her so bad she thought she might scream.
“Where’s your condom?” she whispered, her hands roaming over his poor scarred back and grabbing his rump. She slid his jockey shorts down and one hand found his swollen penis. It jerked at her touch, and she continued to stroke it, feeling the hint of moisture on the tip. She quivered with anticipation.
“I don’t have one. It’s alright. I wasn’t expecting this.” His mouth devoured hers and he rubbed his cock against her. “I won’t enter you, I promise.”
“I’m already pregnant,” she told him, biting his shoulder. “You can’t make it worse, but you can make it better.”
He chuckled. “Is that what my Sarah wants?” His hand cupped her, and he bent down to kiss her there.
She grabbed his hair and yanked up his head. “Get your shorts off and make love to me, dammit.”
His eyes rested on her, and her heart rolled over. “Yes, ma’am. Happy to oblige.”
His shorts were flung aside and she opened her legs to receive him. He pressed against her and then entered quickly, filling her deep as she dug her nails into his ass.
“I want you to obey orders, soldier.” She kissed his neck, and wrapped her legs around his hips. “Keep doing what you’re doing until I say quit.”
“You’re a tyrant, boss. But I think I can handle that order.”
He was stronger than she would have thought. Putting a hand under her he lifted her hips from the bed and took her deep, sliding in and out, hovering near the edge and going full thrust again, and again, and again. A cry ripped out of her throat. She felt like she was exploding in pieces as she called out his name. “Mick!” she cried, bucking under him. “Oh, Mick.”
He moaned and his movements grew more intense as he rushed along to join her, the frenzy driving them both over the edge.
She held him tightly, holding onto him as though afraid to let go. She couldn’t remember ever feeling so well loved, so totally in control. It had never been like that before. She’d enjoyed sex, but it was more about the guy than it was about her. This was different. She’d taken what she wanted, and knew she’d want it again.
She also knew that it had put a smug little smile on Mick’s face, and that made her heart lighter. He deserved pleasure, he should have someone in his life to care and make him whole. She didn’t know if she was that person, but for now, she wanted to believe so. They had each other’s backs; and fronts, and sides—he was still buried inside of her. She kissed his lips, and caressed his cheek.
“You were amazing,” she whispered. “I like having you inside me. Stay for a while,” she said, holding him tight.
“I like it too. Nothing has felt this good in so long I can’t remember. I’m not going anywhere until you tell me to get out.”
She giggled. “I don’t think I’m going to send you that order anytime soon.”
His lips curled up. “Fine by me.”
“
Oh, Mick.” Her heart felt so full she thought it might burst. What was it about this man that moved her so much? “This isn’t going to complicate things between us, is it?”
“Don’t see why it should. Although sex probably isn’t the best thing between friends. You can be my girlfriend, can’t you?” He moved his hips suggestively, and she felt him stiffen inside of her. “Then we can do this anytime.”
“Why not? But it can be our secret, right? I don’t want Meg and Byron getting all excited about us being together. It would just make it awkward, especially with this baby thing and all.”
“I don’t want to talk about that right now. You know how I feel, and that I want you to keep this baby, but will support any decision you make.” He gazed deeply into her eye, and shifted his weight so that he was no longer on the side, but on top.
“I hope the little person inside of you can feel me right now and thinks I’m the daddy.” His eyes softened as he began moving inside of her. “Who’s your daddy,” he said, making her laugh.
“You’re crazy, you know that?” She put her hands on his shoulders and used her hips to thrust against him.
“Yes, sir. I mean, ma’am.” And then he got down to business, his rhythm matching with hers until the heat and intensity drove them higher and higher.
“Now, Mick,” she whispered urgently.
He didn’t need to be asked twice. With a final grunt and thrust they climaxed together.
Chapter Twenty-One
Head to head, Sarah and Mick snuggled under the covers and talked about silly things, nothing important, not wanting anything to mar this tender evening together. He asked her about her favorite childhood memory and it took her a moment to come up with just one as she’d had so many.
