“I am tired of always living someone else’s life!” she blurted.
Raven glanced both ways, but they were alone. She steered Avery out of the store and paused on the sidewalk. Thankfully their mother wasn’t out here. She must have ducked into another store up the street.
“Tell us more,” Clarissa said.
“I don’t want to hurt Raven’s feelings.” Avery wiped her tears frantically. “Don’t make me go there.”
Raven gave Avery’s shoulder a squeeze and glanced toward Clarissa, who seemed equally concerned and confused. “Avery, you are experiencing pain. It’s running out your eyes and down your cheeks. You’re shaking. Let it go. Let me be responsible for my feelings.” Raven wiped a tear from her cheek.
She wanted to warn Raven to brace herself, but the words poured out without a moment’s hesitation. “It’s just, I spent so many years while you had cancer being a buffer between Mom and Dad, trying to be the perfect daughter to make up for the grief they were experiencing as you slowly died in that hospital bed, plus picking up the slack at the Three Sisters when Dad left and Mom was so depressed she couldn’t get out of bed.”
“I know. I’m so sorry—”
“And then you got better, and I thought, okay, I can go back to college and pursue my dreams. But we didn’t have any money then, and honestly, even if we had, I didn’t have any dreams.”
“Everyone has dreams,” Clarissa said breathlessly.
Avery shook her head. “No, Clarissa. Sorry, but you’ve never been a caregiver. I’d been playing the role for so long I forgot my own dreams. I’d let them all go. And then Raven got married and then there was the baby and oh God, the magic. The dragons. Aborella!” Avery buried her face in her hands before wiping the tears from her eyes. “It was all about you, Raven, and them. It was all about Charlie.”
“Oh, Avery—” Raven’s frown became more pronounced, but Avery couldn’t stop now.
“And now, now after everything, it’s all about you, Clarissa.” Avery tucked her hair behind her ears and stared at her brand-new sister.
Clarissa’s mouth formed into a perfect O.
“I’m sorry. I love you. You are the best thing to happen to me in a long time. But yesterday when you hugged Mom, I realized that I am now part of your story. I’m a cog in the wheel of both of your lives.” She glanced between the two of them. “Whether I’m watching Charlie or serving at the bar or working at Relics and Runes, I’m living someone else’s story. When do I get to write my own?”
The tears came faster, and Raven rubbed Avery’s shoulders. Clarissa seemed unsure where to put her hands and moved them from her hips to her stomach and back again.
“Okay. Okay. That’s good, Avery,” Clarissa said. “Let it out. But can you explain to me what it is that you want to do? Maybe I can help.”
“Don’t you understand? I don’t know. I don’t know who I am.” Avery inhaled a ragged breath and shrugged.
“I know who you are,” Raven said unequivocally. “You are a person who has been far too generous with your time and talents for far too long.”
Clarissa swallowed. “Okay. Let me ask you this way. You just mentioned you want to write your own story, basically… find yourself. Where do you want to look first?”
Avery wiped under her eyes. She needed a break. Needed to go where the only person she could rely on was herself. She sighed and glanced from one sister to the other. “I want to go find Xavier.”
Looking utterly confused, Raven asked, “Xavier? Gabriel’s brother?”
Avery told her what she’d learned from Nathaniel the night before.
“Wow, Avery, that is a lot.” Clarissa rubbed her palms on the sides of her hips as if her fingers were twitching to call Nathaniel. “I can’t believe he didn’t tell me about this.”
Raven squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again. “It sounds dangerous.”
Avery nodded. “But the only other option is Nick, and I won’t do that to Rowan. Besides, I think I need to go. I think this bubble is exactly the type of challenge that could bring out the best in me.”
Her sisters seemed to ponder that for a moment.
“You know what’s right for you,” Raven finally said. “Let’s get Mom on a plane, and then I will do everything in my power to help you do exactly what you want to do.”
Clarissa nodded. “Me too.”
The three women hugged. As tight as they squeezed each other, all Avery felt was lighter.
“Am I missing a moment?” Their mother was back with a new bag hanging from the crook of her elbow.
“We’re conspiring,” Clarissa said, distracting her with a wide-open grin. She took her arm opposite the bags. “Come with us. We want to introduce you to afternoon tea.”
Avery was relieved when her mother finally left and they hugged goodbye on the curb in front of the airport. She loved her mom, but the tension between them had grown thick enough to withstand a proton blast. Several times over her visit, Sarah had tried to force Avery to commit to a return date both directly and indirectly, and Avery had dodged her questions as if they were hurled daggers. Raven and Clarissa had run interference. She didn’t want to lie to her mother, but she wasn’t ready to tell her no or never. It would hurt her mother terribly, and Avery wanted to avoid that pain until she was absolutely sure.
Her mom turned away, about to roll her black Samsonite luggage through the glass doors of Heathrow, when she stopped and smiled at Avery. “I hope you know how much I love you. All three of you.”
Avery nodded.
Sarah’s smile widened as she hugged Raven and Clarissa one more time and then disappeared inside.
“Do you think she suspects her three daughters are witches?” Clarissa asked.
“Two daughters,” Avery said, shoving down a resurgence of disappointment at being the family dud. “I’m not a witch. And no, I don’t think she has a clue.”
They climbed back into the car. Raven deflated her fake pregnancy as soon as she was out of sight of the general public. Emory drove them back to Mistwood Manor.
That night at dinner Avery decided she’d waited long enough. “Nathaniel, my answer is yes. I will go to find Xavier.”
The sounds of forks and knives scraping plates halted abruptly. Raven and Clarissa visibly tensed.
Gabriel glared at Nathaniel and asked, “What’s this about?”
“I know where Xavier is, and as I told Avery, she is the only one who can reach him to tell him that we need him.” He explained about the bubble and gave a shortened version of the history behind it. Gabriel had no problem keeping up.
“Have you lost your fucking mind?” Gabriel’s eyes flashed. “Did you learn nothing from Aborella’s tampering with Clarissa? If something happens to Avery, Raven and Clarissa could lose their power permanently.”
That was an angle Avery hadn’t considered. She’d have to be careful with herself. If she were killed somehow, Raven and Clarissa would be powerless again and the future of Paragon would all but certainly fall into Eleanor’s hands. Only she refused to dwell on that possibility. After being attacked in Nathaniel’s shop, it was clear to her that no place would ever be perfectly safe for her.
Nathaniel lifted his wine and swirled the red liquid in the belly of the glass. “Avery is a grown woman. She’s extremely resourceful. So much so, she cared for your child on her own the entire time you were in Paragon. Not to mention she faced Aborella alone and lived to tell the tale. Unless you want to suggest to Rowan that Nick has to go? Excuse me for not wanting to be in the room for that conversation.”
“She has no magic!” Gabriel protested, pointing a hand at Avery.
“Exactly why she is the only one who can enter the builgean.” Nathaniel’s finger tapped the table beside his plate.
“You can’t seriously think it’s a good idea to help her through the gate to the builgean with no idea what she’ll encounter inside?” Gabriel narrowed his eyes on Nathaniel incredulously.
C
larissa leaned toward him. “We can send the shadow-mail candle with her. If she runs into trouble—”
“Actually…” Nathaniel shook his head. “I gave my candle to Sylas in Paragon.”
“What?” Clarissa raised a brow.
Nathaniel glanced between Raven and Gabriel. “In the cave under the palace, while you and Rowan made sacrifices to the goddess, Sylas told me he couldn’t come with us. He needed to continue his work with the rebellion. I gave him the candle so that we’d have the means to find each other when the time came.”
“We’ll make another,” Clarissa said hopefully.
Nathaniel shook his head. “I can’t… It’s a complex spell, and I’d have to wait until spring to gather the right ingredients.”
“Borrow Warwick’s?” Clarissa shot Nathaniel a pleading look across the table.
“He’s gone on a mission to collect magical herbs for the Order. He’s somewhere in the Australian outback. Even if I could get a message to him, getting it back in a timely manner would be… problematic. I’m afraid if Avery goes, she does so alone,” Nathaniel said.
Gabriel slashed a hand through the air between them. “That settles it. It’s too dangerous. We’ll have no way to help her if she gets into trouble. No way to know she’s in trouble! She doesn’t go.”
“She is sitting right here.” Avery’s fork clattered to her plate. “And she has decided she wants to do this.”
Gabriel growled at her. “You’d risk your sister’s power?”
Raven clasped a hand over her mate’s mouth. “Gabriel, Avery is right. It’s her life and her choice. Plus we need her help. We need Xavier.”
When Raven slid her hand away, Gabriel narrowed his eyes on her and then Clarissa. “You two knew about this, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Raven, it’s a terrible idea. It’s too risky.” The dark depths of Gabriel’s eyes flickered with red fire.
“I think it’s Avery’s choice.” Clarissa gave her a little nod. “It is dangerous, and I’m scared as hell for you. But I can see that this is something you want to do. Something we need you to do. And if you are brave enough to go, we should be brave enough to let you.” Her eyes bore into Gabriel’s head as she said the last sentence.
Avery scoffed. “Thank you, but I don’t need anyone’s approval. I’m an adult. Nathaniel asked me to do this, and I said yes. While I appreciate all the concern, I’ve decided. I’m going.”
“I’ll have the oreads start on your wardrobe tonight.” Nathaniel pulled the napkin from his lap and folded it beside his plate as if he’d finished eating even though he’d barely touched his food.
“Wardrobe?” Avery hadn’t thought she’d need anything but the clothes on her back.
“We have to assume that everyone behind the ward still dresses and acts as if it is 1745. Aside from a handful of adventurous souls who have visited me over the centuries, there have been few outside influences since we created the bubble. Most of the people there have likely never seen a pair of jeans. If you are going to successfully traverse the considerable distance from the doorway to Castle Dunchridhe, circumnavigate its defenses, and get close enough to Xavier to speak with him, you’ll need to be prepared. I will help you with everything.”
Considerable distance. Castle defenses. Avery’s stomach clenched. Did she have any idea what she was getting herself into? She reached for her wine and took a fortifying gulp.
“I’m ready when you are.”
Chapter Five
“How do I look?” Avery turned slowly, modeling the clothes the oreads had made for her. She shuffled her feet for fear of tripping over the long, heavy skirts.
“As authentic as I remember,” Nathaniel said.
Gabriel, Raven and Clarissa nodded appreciatively. “It looks uncomfortable,” Raven said.
“I was thinking the same thing,” Clarissa added.
“Let me put your curiosity to rest. It is very uncomfortable, and it weighs a ton.” Avery swayed back and forth, causing the skirts to swish over her feet. There was something called a sark, which was basically a shift, made out of white linen that she wore underneath it all. The sark she could handle. It was soft and lightweight, almost like a nightgown. But on top of it, Laurel had tied something around her waist like a donut and then layered on three full skirts. Her hips looked like they needed their own zip code.
As if that weren’t enough, Laurel had tied her into a set of stays that were basically like the world’s most uncomfortable bra and then a wool bodice with sleeves that tied at the shoulders. It fastened in the front and gave her breasts an attractive lift. But anything sexy about that bit of the dress was completely undone by another piece of linen that was wrapped around her neck and tucked into the bodice. At least that part of her costume served to hide her healing scar. The doctor had removed the stitches, but the slice was still an angry bright pink, darkest over her breast.
Not that it mattered. You’d have to have Superman’s X-ray vision to see it under all the layers. The oreads had wrapped a subtle gray plaid blanket called an arisaid over the top of everything else and tucked it into a belt. All in all, with everything on, she looked about as attractive as a lump of wet clay.
“It does have pockets!” Avery slipped her hands into the well-hidden slots in her skirt. She had no idea if those were historically accurate, but they held a head covering and gloves the oreads said she might need.
“Small pleasures,” Clarissa said.
“The shoes are wrong.” Nathaniel scowled pointedly at her toes. How he could see her shoes, she had no idea. The skirts reached the floor in front of her.
“I couldn’t walk in the ones they gave me,” Avery said. “If I need to hike as far as you’re suggesting to find Xavier, I’m going to need something practical.” She lifted her skirt to reveal soft, stretchy leggings and a pair of leather hiking boots complete with thick socks. “I might as well be warm if I need to sleep outside.”
Nathaniel frowned. “At least they’re a dull color. Keep them covered as much as possible and try not to draw attention to your feet.”
She nodded. The top half of her hair had been pulled back from her face and bound at the crown of her head with a blue ribbon. That at least matched her eyes and gave the outfit a bit of color. The rest of her jet-black hair tumbled around her shoulders in long, loose curls.
“So I guess that’s it. I’m ready, right?” Avery shrugged. Her stomach was tied in knots, and she was anxious to get started on this journey. If Nathaniel dropped her into the bubble first thing in the morning, she might be able to find Xavier and have him back here in as little as a day or two. Why would it take any longer?
Nathaniel cleared his throat. “One more thing.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out something small and dark. A jewelry box. He removed a round disk from inside and pressed it against her throat, just under her jaw.
“What are you doing?”
Everyone laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
Clarissa laughed harder. “She can’t hear it?”
Nathaniel shook his head. “It sounds the same to her.”
“What sounds the same?” Avery asked.
Raven raised a hand. “You’re speaking with one hell of a Scottish accent! You just said, ‘Whit are ye doin’?’”
Clarissa giggled.
Raven’s mimicry of the accent was comically exaggerated, and Avery scraped the mole-shaped dot from her throat and held it up to the light. “I suppose I won’t get far sounding like an American. I might as well belly up to the bar and order a Corona Light. How long will this little inspiration of magic last?”
Nathaniel took the mole from her and placed it back into the small wooden box. “Long enough. It should remain effective for weeks, barring magical interference. Far longer than you will be in the bubble.”
“Great, then it’s all settled. I’ll go get changed.” She turned to leave.
“Wait,” Raven said. “You know you
don’t have to do this, right? There’s still time for you to back out.”
Clarissa chimed in. “Raven’s right. If it’s too much—”
“I know I don’t have to do this.” Avery lifted her chin. “I want to. I’m going to. And the next time you see me, Xavier will be on my arm.” She turned and strode toward her room wondering why she’d put it that way. On her arm. It was a strange way to word it. She shook her head at the bizarre turn of phrase and hurried to undress.
Avery hugged Raven and Clarissa goodbye outside of Mistwood and then climbed into the car that would take her to the Highlands. Traveling to Glencoe from Oxfordshire would take about nine hours. She’d asked Raven, Clarissa, and Gabriel to stay behind. She didn’t want to have the stress of saying goodbye or risk that they’d talk her out of what she was about to do. Only Nathaniel could usher her along this part of the journey, and soon enough she’d have to leave him behind as well. They planned to travel to the bubble today, spend the night in a neighboring village, and then she’d pass through the wards tomorrow.
Nathaniel spent the entire car ride lecturing her on Scottish culture. He’d given her a bag of silver and gold coins that he said were Scottish pounds, the type of currency he assumed was still used where she was going. She’d need it for food and to rent a room for the night as it would be at least two days journey to the castle. Avery tried to listen, but she was far too nervous to absorb much at all of what he said. The information went into her brain and then out again moments later when Nathaniel attempted to quiz her.
She was relieved when she was finally alone in her room in a bed-and-breakfast called the Clachaig Inn, which Nathaniel said was near the gate. Avery flopped onto the bed and, for the first time in forever, slept through the night.
In the morning, after a full Scottish breakfast that included something called Lorne sausage that Avery liked so much she ate until she was almost sick, she dressed in the costume the oreads had made for her and drove with Nathaniel to a mountain called Bidean nam Bian where he said the gate resided.
Highland Dragon Page 5
