by Sandy Barker
They made me blue.
Last time on the boat. Last meal with the floating family. Last time I saw Josh. Ever.
Ever?
And just like that, the wave of sadness turned into a crescendo of inner turmoil. Elated to deflated with two words. ‘Land ho’ indeed. I sat back on the bench, bracing myself against the bulkhead, as Duncan started directing Gary to pull ropes and do other sailing things to get us safely to shore.
‘You okay?’ Josh leaned against the boat next to me and rested his arm across my shoulder. ‘You look, well, not good. Are you sick?’
I shook my head, not trusting my voice. I blinked back the stupid tears – crappy timing – and found my voice, squeaky though it was. ‘A little post-trip blues that came earlier than I expected.’
He squeezed my shoulder and I put my head on his. ‘Don’t get pulled into all of that now,’ he said. ‘We still have the rest of today, tonight, all of tomorrow on the ferry. There’s still lots to come before goodbye.’
I nodded. ‘Okay.’ I plastered a smile I didn’t feel onto my face. As the boat slowed and righted, and our world became horizontal again, Duncan called out orders to the rest of us and we scurried about doing as we were told.
For the last time.
As we neared the port, the sails came down and were tucked away, and we moved under power again. The port was much busier than any of the sleepy marinas we’d docked at over the duration of the trip, and I could tell Duncan was concentrating to ensure we stayed safe amongst the array of large ships and faster boats.
We finally found a place to dock our floating home, not far from an enormous cruise ship and amongst some much larger yachts than ours. It was going to be a long walk to the town centre.
As Duncan and Gary tied us off to the dock, I went through the motions of double-checking and then triple-checking I hadn’t left anything in any of the dozen little nooks of my cabin. I already knew I hadn’t left anything behind, but I didn’t want to leave.
‘Got everything?’ The unmistakable deep timbre of that sexy American voice.
‘Yes.’
I didn’t turn around, wanting one last look at the tiny cabin I’d called my home for the previous nine days.
‘Should we go then?’ he asked.
‘I guess.’
‘Hey,’ he said stepping closer and putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder. ‘We’ve still got lots to look forward to.’
Who was he trying to kid? The very next day we would all part ways and go back to our lives. ‘Yep.’ I put on my brave smile again and turned around.
I changed the subject. ‘So, I was going to tip Duncan. Do you think fifty euros is enough?’
He seemed caught off-guard. Maybe he thought we were having a moment or something, and there I was being all practical. ‘Uh, yeah. Sounds good. I’ll do the same.’ He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, removing a fifty-euro note and handing it to me. ‘Make it a hundred from both of us.’
I took the note. ‘Okay. It’s not weird is it?’
‘What? That it’s from both of us?’
‘No, tipping Duncan. I mean, I had always planned to – I put this aside at the start of the trip – but that was when he was ‘the skipper’. Now, it’s …’
‘Like tipping your friend?’
‘Yeah.’
‘It does feel a little weird, sure, I guess. But didn’t that happen with you on your trips? Getting tips from people you became friends with?’
I sifted quickly through only a handful of memories of being tipped. Twenty-something tourists don’t really tip all that much. I remembered a time when a group of people had pooled their leftover foreign money and handed it over rather sheepishly.
‘Yeah, I did. Once or twice. It was weird.’
‘Well, I can give it to him if you like?’ Josh offered. ‘I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.’
I nodded and handed over my cash. I grabbed my bags and we made our way through the boat.
When we got to the ladder, Josh climbed up on deck first and reached down for my bags.
Gentleman. I handed them up to him, straining a little with the big one, and then joined him on deck.
The others were in the midst of saying goodbye to Duncan and Gerry, and we waited awkwardly for our turn. When it came, I had to remind myself how completely uncool it was to cry, especially as I would see everyone that night for dinner.
I kissed Gerry on both cheeks. She had essentially been our boat’s first mate, and I couldn’t imagine the trip without her dry wit and calming presence. ‘Thank you for everything.’
‘It was fun, yes?’
I smiled, that time unforced. ‘Fun’ was an understatement. As I turned towards Duncan, I saw Josh coolly slip the euros into his hand. Duncan, ever the pro, didn’t even glance at the money. ‘Thanks, mate,’ he said and they shook hands.
I felt like Dorothy saying goodbye to the Tin Man. Josh was the Scarecrow, in case you were wondering – sorry if that’s obvious. ‘Duncan, thank you so much,’ I whispered as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He folded me into a bear hug.
‘Of course, mate. It was beaut having you.’ He pulled out of the hug and said, ‘See you tonight, yeah?’
I didn’t trust my voice – I just nodded.
Josh and I disembarked, bags in either hand, and made our way into the town along the dusty track. The sun was hot on my back, and I squinted at the sights around me. Even though I had been to Mykonos before, I’d never been to the port or this part of the island. I hadn’t been missing out.
When we got to the actual town, I stopped next to a café and put my bags down. ‘I need to check the map for the hotel.’ I had printed out a map of the hotel’s location from Google maps before the trip, because I knew I wouldn’t have data on my phone, but the map was buried deep in my backpack. I kneeled on the hot concrete and rifled through it, my knees burning.
‘Got it!’ I stood and waved it at Josh. This is a map to the place where we’re going to have sex, I thought. I didn’t say that part out loud for obvious reasons.
Referring to it a few times, I led the way through the labyrinth of streets and walkways of Mykonos with Josh half a step behind me. We didn’t speak and I wondered if he was thinking about the sex we were going to have. I was. It was all I was thinking of, and I had to force myself to concentrate on getting us to the place where we would have the sex.
I was nervous too. It’s hard to say why. I mean, it was Josh, and we were friends. Friends who fancied the hell out of each other and were really looking forward to having sex.
Did I mention we were going to have sex? Yep, I was really nervous.
Maybe it was because it had been so long since I’d done it. I mean, forever – months! I was sure I had forgotten how. I mean, I remembered the fundamentals of course, but I’d learned those in health class when I was twelve, and it’s hard to forget that the penis goes in the vagina, even if you’re pretty much a born-again virgin.
But what about the rest?
I can honestly say I can’t even remember checking in, but we must have because there we were standing in my room – our room – with both of us staring at the bed. I literally shook my head to dislodge the stupor I’d slipped into. Headshaking was becoming a habit. I had to get myself together. And I really needed to shave my legs and do lots of other bathroom-related activities.
‘Josh?’
‘Sarah?’
I threw my backpack onto the bed and dug out my toiletries bag. ‘You see this bag?’ I held it in front of my face, so he could definitely see it.
‘I do, yes.’
‘Well, as this is the first time I’ve been able to shower with a proper shower – hot water and a shower stall and everything, I’m going to go in there –’ I pointed to what I presumed was the bathroom door ‘– to use every one of these products. Then when I’m done, you can shower, and then we can have sex.’
By this stage he had a grin on his face. ‘Okay. So
we’re clear, I’m also showering because …?’
‘Because we just got off a boat after nine days of sailing about, and neither of us are truly clean.’
‘Of course. That makes perfect sense.’ He was still grinning, and I got the feeling he thought I was a bit of a twit.
I didn’t care. I took myself and my toiletries into the bathroom – it was the bathroom, by the way. It wasn’t fancy, but it was clean and it had clean towels. Even better, when I turned on the shower, there was strong water pressure and the water was hot – just as I’d been dreaming of.
A week and a half on a boat with a mere trickle of lukewarm water to ablute with every morning had got a little old. Even if it was a part of sailing around paradise on the best trip of my life. I kept to my word and used every product. It was heavenly.
I emerged some time later, scrubbed, shaved, slathered in every lotion I possessed, and smelling great. I felt great too, replenished.
‘Your turn!’ I declared leaving the bathroom in a haze of steam.
‘All righty then.’ He grabbed his toiletry bag and retreated to the bathroom. I suddenly thought that maybe I’d insulted him by telling him to shower. I hadn’t meant it like that. I’d figured he would want to take advantage of a proper bathroom, but maybe that was just a girl thing. Oh well.
I tucked my toiletries away, then spent the next few minutes trying to work out how to arrange myself on the bed. I wanted to appear sexy, but not overly eager. I didn’t want to come across like a rabid nympho. And I certainly didn’t want to appear to be desperate. Although, to be clear, I was a little desperate for sex. I settled for bottom half under the sheet, top half arranged casually – and nakedly – on a pillow.
Josh emerged not long after I’d found the perfect sexy-but-not-a-rabid-nympho position. I guessed he had fewer products in his toiletry bag than I had. His towel was wrapped tightly around his waist and I saw surprise, then delight register on his face when he saw my careful arrangement on the bed. His eyes skimmed over my breasts, then met mine.
I felt like the most beautiful, most desirable woman on earth. We were off to a good start.
He dropped his towel to the floor, and then it was my turn to admire him. Let’s just say there was a lot to admire. And he was so damned sexy. I only hoped his skills matched his looks. Then with a level of assuredness, which both surprised and thrilled me, he joined me on the bed, pulled me to him and locked his lips to mine.
All those future memories – the weight of him on me, the feel of him inside me, giving him pleasure with my hands, my mouth, my body wrapped around him, letting him explore every inch of me until I couldn’t stand it, letting myself fall into a delicious, all-consuming orgasm – it was all of that and more. I had definitely not set myself up for disappointment by fantasising on the boat.
I hadn’t wanted to ask him where he’d learned to kiss as well as he did, and I certainly didn’t want to know why a guy who had chosen to be celibate could shag so brilliantly. But he could, and that’s all I cared about – for around two hours – yes, two hours.
At least I’m guessing it was somewhere around two hours. It certainly felt that long, but for some reason, clock-watching had been the last thing on my mind, so I had no idea what time we’d started.
Still, there came the point where we stopped shagging and lay side by side staring up at the ceiling, breathing heavily like they do in the movies.
‘It’s never been like that for me.’
‘Me neither,’ I said, lying a little. It had been incredible, but it wasn’t the first time I’d had toe-tingling sex.
‘I’ve never even had sex in the daytime before.’
I tore my eyes away from the interesting water stain on the ceiling. ‘What?’ I propped myself up on one elbow and stared incredulously at my lover.
He laughed in response. ‘It’s true. Sex for me has always been fumbling around in the dark deep under the covers. Pleasurable in a way, but also a little awkward.’
‘Oh.’ What else could I say?
‘That was …’ He didn’t seem to know what to say either.
‘That was good, Joshua. I don’t usually have an orgasm the first time with someone.’
‘Really?’ He seemed particularly pleased with himself. I suppose he had a right to be.
‘Really. Feel free to pat yourself on the back for that. You’re a good lover.’
The grin widened. ‘Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome.’ I smiled back and kissed him with a loud smack on the lips. ‘Though I can’t imagine how “fumbling around in the dark” got you those sorts of skills.’
‘I read,’ he replied with perfect comic timing. I burst out laughing. Well played, Joshua. Clearly, he was keeping the truth close to his chest.
‘So, shall we head to the pool? Go for a swim?’ We’d walked past the pool to get to the room, and after all that sex I couldn’t wait to dive into the cool, blue water.
‘How about we stay here a while longer and then go for a swim.’ I regarded my lover, who had a particularly wicked look in his eyes. The swim could wait.
‘You’ve talked me into it.’
We did eventually climb out of bed and go to the pool. We were the only ones there, and when I dived in, I was happy to discover it was the ideal temperature for swimming – refreshing without making me gasp for breath. I swam a few lazy laps, working some kinks out of my body, which had formed while living on a boat.
Josh sat on the edge, legs in the water, and watched me. ‘Back to the real world tomorrow.’
‘You’re not supposed to say stuff like that,’ I replied between strokes. ‘It’s bad travellers’ karma.’
‘Oh,’ he said, simply.
‘Besides, we still have tonight and then the six-hour ferry back to Athens, remember?’
‘Right.’
I swam over to him and held on to the side of the pool. ‘Hey, you were the one saying that a few hours ago. We’re living in the moment.’
He smiled weakly.
I admit I sounded far more convinced than I felt. Watching the sadness wash over his face made my stomach churn. Goodbyes between friends were hard enough. Josh was also my lover now. And the sex … well, bobbing there in the pool I realised it had meant something to me. It wasn’t just a shag.
And it scared me.
*
‘I have absolutely nothing to wear!’ There I was hyperbolising again. I had things to wear, but they were either dirty, filthy, or I hated the sight of them and couldn’t remember why I’d brought them in the first place. Josh peered over my shoulder into my bag.
‘You have lots of things to wear.’ He reached for a skirt I had tired of on day three of the trip.
‘What about this?’
‘Ugh. That? I wore that exploring the islands – during the day,’ I added for extra emphasis. ‘It’s hardly what you wear to dinner. And, it has a stain!’ I pointed to a small smudge near the hemline.
‘It’s fine. No one’s going to care.’
‘I care.’ I pouted. Why did guys not get this type of thing? It was the final dinner. With the people I cared about. And we were in Greece! ‘Well, what are you wearing?’ If I was going to wear something sub-par, it wouldn’t matter as much if Josh looked just as well travelled.
He sifted through his bag, seeming to mentally discount everything he laid his hands on. He got to the bottom and looked at me with a somewhat baffled look on his face.
‘What?’ I asked.
‘I guess I have nothing to wear either.’
‘Hah!’ I pointed at him. ‘So there.’
‘That’s not nice.’
‘Maybe not, but now you understand my dilemma.’ He nodded, acquiescing. ‘So, you know what this means, right?’
‘We wear stinky old clothes we’re sick of?’
‘No! Don’t be stupid. We’re going shopping!’ I declared.
‘Uh, no thanks.’
‘Uh, yes please.’ I picked up my leather handb
ag and stood at the door expectantly. Seriously, why did guys hate shopping so much? He reluctantly followed me outside, past the pool and into the town, the sook.
My tactic was to get him sorted out first. Once he had a pretty salesgirl fawning all over him, he’d be fine. I looked for a men’s clothing shop and made a beeline for the first one I saw.
No luck on the pretty salesgirl, but I’d managed to find the next best thing – a gorgeous gay sales guy. I should have known, considering where we were. The sales guy – in my head, I called him Adonis – wasted no time. As soon as we crossed the shop’s threshold, it was all about Josh. While I sifted through racks of clothes, Spiros – disappointingly, the sales guy’s name was not actually Adonis – couldn’t keep his hands off Josh’s biceps.
‘Oh, this fits so well here,’ he said, running his hands down Josh’s arms. Josh, bless him, seemed to relish the attention. It was hard to believe that only minutes before I’d had to drag him into town to go shopping.
Josh tried on anything Spiros suggested, and I have to say, the guy looked great in most of it. By the time we left, Josh had three new shirts, and a pair of sexy linen pants. I did not tell him that they reminded me of what the silver fox was wearing when we’d met; he did not need to know that.
Shopping bags in hand, we waved goodbye to Spiros. He sent Josh off with a wink and blew me a kiss. And why wouldn’t he? He must have made a day’s worth of commission from us in under an hour.
‘Now it’s your turn. I can’t wait to see you try on a bunch of stuff. It’ll be like in Pretty Woman!’ I threw him a weird look. In a short time, Josh’s attitude toward shopping had apparently done a one-eighty. He missed the look, though. He was too busy scouting for women’s boutiques.
‘There!’ he almost shouted, grabbing my hand and pulling me into a shop.
The salesgirl – very pretty – looked up from her iPhone with a bored expression on her face. ‘Hi,’ said Josh.
‘Hi,’ said the girl.
‘We need an outfit. Something pretty.’
