I could sense the entire group directing their focus toward Rachel, Emily, and me. I tried not to mind, but it felt a bit like we were animals in a zoo. Being watched. Observed. Judged.
“I’m Rachel, I’m from Orlando, Florida, and I have an older sister. My favorite movie is A Boy Named Bear.”
Emily was next. “I’m Emily, I’m from Helena, Montana, and I have an older brother and a younger sister. My favorite film is also A Boy Named Bear.”
Everyone had named a BB Gun film—and at least 50 percent of them had been A Boy Named Bear. For good reason. I still got little heart palpitations whenever I thought about the movie’s opening.
I’d seen it for the first time when I was seven, sitting between Mom and Zach, popcorn on my lap. The theater had stayed dark for a long time—long enough for people to begin shifting in their seats—but I heard it before anyone else. The soft build of music, a low bass that seemed to tremble around my toes before spreading up my body just as the screen flickered, allowing half a second of light at a time. And in the darkness, shapes and shadows. Flashes of color and movement. All too quick to fully register. There was the sound of breathing. Frantic, terrified breaths.
I remember how I’d dug my fist down into my bag of popcorn, squeezing the rubbery kernels between my fingers because I was scared but also too old to hold Mom’s hand. The breathing grew louder, the flashes faster, the lights brighter, and then suddenly, the screen was full of everything.
All the images. All the colors. All the brief hints of things we’d seen as the music had built, was now vivid and brilliant in front of us. We’d been in Bear’s head. It was a dream, or a nightmare, and it wasn’t supposed to be real, but when he opened his eyes, it was.
That was the power of his imagination. It was wild. Uncontrolled.
I’d released the popcorn I’d been holding, the bag all but forgotten in my lap as I’d watched the rest of the movie, my heartbeat never slowing.
Every time I rewatched it, I tried to recapture that feeling. Every time I put pencil to paper I was attempting to re-create what I’d experienced the first time I’d seen A Boy Named Bear. It was a special kind of yearning. Loving something so much and being so grateful that it existed, but also hating that I hadn’t been a part of it.
It was my turn to speak. But before I could say anything, the door to the multipurpose room slammed open and a tall, broad-shouldered white guy came sauntering into the room.
Like, literally sauntering.
Everyone looked surprised to see him, except for Josh. “Kind of you to join us, Mr. Davis,” he said. “Care to take a seat?”
Pulling a chair away from the wall, the newcomer was welcomed awkwardly into the circle. When he sat, he was across from me and he folded his arms, his gaze almost defiant. I found it deeply annoying that in addition to being late and rude, he was exceptionally cute. And kind of familiar.
“Please continue,” Josh said, looking apologetic.
“I’m Hayley,” I said. “I’m from here, actually.”
“From the multipurpose building at CalAn?” the stranger—Mr. Davis—asked, looking at me. His eyes were green.
A few people laughed. I glared.
“From Southern California,” I said. “I have one older brother. And my favorite film is Spirited Away.”
I hadn’t meant to say that. But with Mr. Davis staring directly at me, my tongue had slipped and I’d said what used to be my favorite film before I’d listened to Bryan’s CalTED Talk and got a greater understanding of the incredible creative process happening at the studio.
Everyone was still watching me.
“But I like A Boy Named Bear more,” I added quickly.
The new guy rolled his eyes.
Next to me, Nick cleared his throat. “I’m Nick, I’m from Maine, and I’m the youngest with two sisters. Obviously, my favorite movie is A Boy Named Bear,” he said. “It’s a complete masterpiece, isn’t it? The story—the art—everything about it is absolutely perfect. It totally inspires me.”
Everyone nodded. It was exactly what I wished I’d said, but the entire time Nick was speaking, Mr. Davis kept his gaze focused on me. I stared right back, eyes narrowed, arms crossed. I didn’t like him.
How could he just walk in here—late—as if this was some ordinary internship? Sitting there like he was already bored with the whole thing? There were kids all across the country who would have killed to be in his position. I had been so certain there wouldn’t be any Shelley Conas in this group, but apparently I was wrong.
I could only hope he wouldn’t be assigned to my team.
I barely heard the rest of the introductions, but just as the green-eyed pain-in-the-ass newcomer was about to speak, Nick sucked in a loud breath of air almost as if he had been drowning.
“I know who you are.” Nick pointed an accusatory finger at the stranger. “You’re Bear. Bear Beckett.”
I stared. We all did. No. Way.
Murmurs spread through the group, and Josh closed his eyes, leaning his head back.
The person in question, however, stood up and took a bow.
CHAPTER THREE
It was sheer chaos after that.
Everyone started talking over one another—it was impossible to decipher it all—but to my right Emily and Rachel were basically just saying Bear’s full name over and over again like it was a spell of some sort, while someone was shouting that this whole thing had to be a joke.
“We’re being pranked, aren’t we?” they asked.
Nick was fully staring at Bear, his mouth wide open as if he hadn’t expected to be right.
As for Bear, he was still standing, arms crossed, in the center of it all. His eyes had been focused on the ceiling but they slowly swung down and met mine. I hadn’t said a word. Hadn’t even moved.
We stared at each other and then the corner of his mouth lifted up in a smile. A cocky, Whoops, did I do that? kind of smile.
I hated him.
Mostly, though, I was disappointed. An overwhelming, throat-closing, deep-in-my-bones type of disappointment. This was Bear? Bored and insolent, he was the opposite of his onscreen persona. Nothing about him was magical.
“Okay, okay.” Josh pushed up from his seat. “Everyone quiet down.” He shot a look in Bear’s direction. “Thank you for that, Bear,” he said, making it clear that he was extremely annoyed, but not at all surprised.
They knew each other. Which made sense, if Bear was the son of Josh’s boss and the inspiration for the movie that built BB Gun Films. In that way, we all knew him.
Bear shrugged and sat down.
“I would have liked to announce you in a much less dramatic fashion,” Josh said. “But since that train has left the station, let’s just get it all out of the way. Bear? Would you like to introduce yourself?”
Bear held out his hands, palms up. “I’m pretty sure everyone knows who I am, Josh.”
Josh closed his eyes again almost like he was asking for patience. I didn’t blame him. Bear appeared to be a grade-A asshole. Who eventually took pity on Josh.
“I’m Bear Davis,” he said. “I’m from here as well.” He could probably mean it literally—who knew how much time he’d spent at CalAn and in the BB Gun studio. “I’m an only child.” He looked at me. “And my favorite movie is Howl’s Moving Castle.”
There was a long silence. The introductions were over.
“Why don’t you all mingle until the mentors get here?” Josh said before getting up.
No one moved. We stayed in our chairs in the circle, staring at Bear. I purposely turned away, focusing my attention on Emily and Rachel.
“Who do you think our mentors will be?” I asked.
But they were both staring at Bear.
“He’s really fit,” Emily said.
It wasn’t quite a whisper, but everyone had started talking again, so the room was filled with the sound of dozens of overlapping conversations.
“Not bad-looking at all,” Rachel
said, twisting her hair between her fingers.
They weren’t wrong but I wasn’t going to give Bear the satisfaction of having the only three girls in the room say he was cute. He probably knew exactly how attractive he was.
“I knew it,” Nick said. “The minute he walked in, I knew it.”
The last pictures I’d seen of Bear were from the premiere of BB Gun Films’s second movie, The Grand Adventures of the Frog King, almost eight years ago. He’d been there with his dad, the two of them dressed identically, white shirt, black pants, and a pair of matching high-tops hand-painted with the main characters from the movie on each side.
Bear had been so young. Short and gap-toothed with closely shorn hair, he’d looked like his cartoon self and yet completely wrong. His shirt had been buttoned all the way up, his wrists scarecrow skinny. His wrists weren’t skinny anymore. In fact, his arms, which were folded over his chest, looked really strong.
Not that I cared. I didn’t. This internship was too important for me to waste my time even thinking about how cute someone was.
Nick was still talking. “The press isn’t allowed to ask Bryan about his family anymore, but there were some articles when A Boy Named Bear first came out. No one’s talked about him in years—since…”
“My parents went to court,” Bear said. “Over me.”
He had been listening.
Nick went red, but instead of backing down, he just faced Bear. “What are you doing here?” he asked.
I was impressed by his nerve.
“What are you doing here?” Bear asked.
“I applied for this internship and beat out thousands of other kids.” Nick sat up tall. “Did you? Or did you just go down the hall and ask your dad to add you to the list?”
There was a loud intake of air, as if everyone had sucked in a breath at the same time. I couldn’t believe he had just said that. Out loud. But it was what everyone had been thinking.
Bear looked at Nick. “Yeah,” he said. “That’s pretty much exactly what happened.”
No one knew how to respond to that. Thankfully, Josh returned, pushing both doors open. Behind him I could see a crowd of adults. Our mentors.
“Okay,” Josh said. “I’m going to call your name and we’ll get you all paired off.”
Fifteen minutes later everyone had left the multipurpose room except for me, Josh, and, of course, Bear. I thought about how Josh had referred to him when he first came in. And how he had introduced himself. As Bear Davis. Was that his mother’s maiden name? Besides being previously married to Bryan, there wasn’t much information out there about Bear’s mom. I’d looked once, but only under her married name: Reagan Beckett. I made a mental note to look up Reagan Davis when I had the time.
“Hayley, right?” Josh asked. “Sorry about this, but Sloane texted me to say she was running late. She should be here in a few minutes.”
“That’s okay,” I said, casting a sideways glance at Bear, wondering who his mentor was.
“Let me guess,” Bear said to Josh, answering my unasked question. “You got stuck with me.”
Josh was very purposely looking down at his list. “We will be working together this summer,” he said diplomatically.
Bear was going to work with the executive head of story? That feeling of disappointment returned. His entire presence in the internship reeked of nepotism, and now this? It was completely unfair. Could Bear even draw?
Josh seemed to sense my frustration, and gave me a sympathetic look. “We can either wait with you here or head over to the dining hall—I can tell Sloane where to meet us.”
I didn’t really want to spend any more time with Bear, but I could see the advantage of getting to know Josh better.
And I was hungry. “We can head to the dining hall,” I said.
We started walking across campus but my hope that I’d get to talk to Josh was quickly dashed when his phone rang, and he held up his finger in apology as he answered it.
“Holder here,” he said, walking ahead.
Bear and I continued in silence, but I was completely aware of him. He was taller than me, which was unusual and annoying because he seemed to loom over me like a bored, undeserving tree.
“Nice outfit,” he said.
I didn’t respond—I could tell he didn’t mean it as a compliment.
“Reminds me of someone,” he said, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see him taping his finger on his chin. “Wonder who.”
He was trying to make me feel foolish and I hated that. I sped up, taking long strides to catch up with Josh who was several feet ahead, still talking on his phone. Unfortunately, Bear matched my pace easily.
The quad was big and empty. I tried to imagine how the campus would be during the school year—students and teachers everywhere, instead of just a few high school interns. The soles of my sneakers squeaked along the pavement. They were new and I hadn’t thought to check them for sound quality. I walked faster, thinking I could wear them out, but they just got louder and squeakier.
“Is Spirited Away actually your favorite movie?” Bear asked.
I ignored him. It felt like a trap.
“The Miyazaki films are pretty great,” he said, as if I had answered. “People say that the dubbed versions are better, but I feel like you should be able to watch the movie and read the subtitles at the same time.”
I agreed with him, but I wasn’t going to say that.
“I could tell you all of BB Gun’s secrets,” Bear said.
I shot him a startled look.
“Gotcha,” he said.
I quickly glanced away.
“Sorry about that,” Josh said, putting his phone in his pocket.
“Work stuff?” I asked.
“Don’t tell her, Josh,” Bear said. “She looks like the type to go to the media.”
I wanted to punch him in the face.
As we approached the dining hall, I noticed a petite Asian woman with shiny hair out front. She waved.
“Ah, here’s Sloane,” Josh lifted a hand. “Hayley Saffitz,” he made the introductions. “This is Sloane Li.”
Her outfit was incredible. She wore a blue silk jacket over a pair of skinny black jeans, and her glasses were enormous black-and-gold frames that curved up at the ends. Her lips were bright red, and even though she was wearing gold platform sandals, she was still several inches shorter than me.
“Nice to meet you,” Sloane said, before giving Bear a knowing smile. “Bear.”
“Sloane,” he said, returning the grin.
She rolled her eyes, but not in an annoyed way. More out of fondness or familiarity, or both. I was a little disappointed she was being so nice to someone who clearly had no interest in being here. Even if his dad was her boss.
“Shall we?” she asked.
I nodded, eager to get away from Bear. But before I could, he reached out and pulled open the door for me. I darted through quickly, half expecting him to let go of it before I could pass. It was hard to tell if he was a chaotic evil or a neutral one.
“See you around,” he said, before following Josh to a far table on the other end of the dining hall. Neither of them stopped to get any food.
“I see you’ve met Bear,” Sloane said as we headed to the buffet.
All the other interns had already loaded up their trays and were sitting, talking to their mentors. I grabbed some mac and cheese, and what looked like meat loaf. Sloane made herself an intricate and massive salad.
“Let me guess.” Sloane walked purposefully toward an empty table and I followed. “He made a bit of a scene.”
“Yeah,” I said.
Sloane laughed. “That kid. He never met a situation he couldn’t…” She shook her head, and then seemed to really notice me for the first time. “Sorry,” she said. “We’re not here to talk about Bear. We’re here to talk about you.” She took a bite of her salad and then pointed her empty fork at me. “I saw your portfolio. Really impressive stuff.”
I
flushed. “Thanks.”
I’d agonized over which drawings to include with my animation sample. I’d only been allowed to include four, which I felt wasn’t nearly enough to show the full scope of my abilities. I’d driven Julie and Samantha crazy, eventually setting up a voting bracket with forty drawings to narrow it down. I’d planned to make Zach pick the forty original options, though he only made it to ten before he gave up, because he said I kept questioning his choices.
“You should be able to defend them,” I’d argued.
“You should get a life,” he’d said.
It was clear now that I had been right and he’d been wrong.
“I can see how BB Gun Films has influenced you,” Sloane said.
It was the highest compliment that I could imagine.
“Do you have any other movies that inspire you?” she asked.
I didn’t know how to answer—like Josh’s request that we name our favorite movie, it seemed inappropriate to talk about other studios here.
“I like a lot of stuff,” I said, digging around my mac and cheese looking for noodles. “But BB Gun makes my favorite films.”
Sloane didn’t say anything, and for a moment I was afraid I’d failed the test.
“They do know how to tell a story,” she said.
I nodded. “They’re the best.”
“Do you have any questions about the program?” Sloane asked. “About what to expect?”
I thought for a moment. “I don’t even really know where to start.”
She laughed. “Fair enough. This is new for all of us, too. The whole summer-intern thing was a bit of a surprise, to be honest.”
“Really?”
She ate some more salad. “Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s a great idea, but it’s definitely not something I would have expected Bryan to suggest.”
“Do you get a lot of time with him?” I asked, excited to know more about the man I knew I would eventually work for.
“With Bryan?” Sloane was looking at her food. “Oh, sure. He likes to be involved every step of the way.” There wasn’t a lot of enthusiasm in her voice. Then she looked up at me and smiled, making me think I had just imagined her lackluster response.
Drawn That Way Page 3
