“At least he had a chance for happiness,” he muttered. “I do not even have the opportunity for that.”
William could see how broken he was, for so many reasons. In truth, he didn’t have the heart to scold him any more than he already had.
“What will you do now?” he asked. “Will you go back to Maxton at Chalford Hill? You know he wants you back, Cullen. He was your liege before all of this and would take you in less time than a heartbeat.”
Cullen held up his hands as if to stop such a thing. “Nay, I will not return to him.”
“Your father, then?”
Cullen shook his head firmly. “Nay,” he replied. “I will not return to Max and most especially not to my father. He serves John and I do not wish to have him put in a position of hiding his fugitive son from the king. I will head north and find my way from there. I cannot be more specific than that.”
William stood up from his chair, wearily. “I understand,” he said. “And I do not disagree. You will need time to think about what has happened and decide what to do with the rest of your life. But know this; I do not release you from your oath of fealty to me. You are still my knight, and I will expect you to return to my service at some point. But until the situation with the king settles down and the man is no longer screaming for your head, it is best that you go. But do me a courtesy, Cullen.”
“Anything, my lord.”
“Tell me where you have settled, once you reach your destination. Will you do this?”
Cullen hesitated in his answer. “I would rather not,” he said. “That way, if the king asks you where I am, you can be honest when you tell him that you do not know.”
“I hold no honor with the king. I will tell him that I do not know your location, regardless.”
Cullen was still hesitant, but he finally nodded. “Very well,” he said. “I will send you word. May I request one final favor of you?”
“What is it?”
For the first time since entering the chamber, Cullen seemed to lose his composure. “My father,” he said hoarsely. “I dare not risk going to Selborne Castle to tell him what I have told you, so if you could tell him for me, I would be grateful. Do not tell him where I have gone, for I do not want him following me, but I want him to know what has happened. There is the little matter of a betrothal he will want to break, among other things, so please tell him… tell him that I am sorry to have shamed the de Nerra name.”
William put his hand on the knight’s shoulder. “You have not shamed the de Nerra name, Cullen,” he assured him quietly. “No man is perfect, not even me. You have stumbled, but you have not fallen completely. You will rise from this, mayhap even stronger than before. I have seen it happen to lesser men than you.”
Cullen swallowed the lump in his throat. “Your words are appreciated, my lord, but I know how badly I have disappointed everyone. I hope time away will heal all things.”
“Including you.”
“Including me.”
Cullen stood up and William dropped his hand from the man, watching him as he moved to the chamber door. His movements were lethargic, not at all like the Cullen he’d known in the past. Sometimes a wounding was too great for even the strongest men to bear.
“Cullen?” he called after him.
Cullen paused before he passed through the door and turned to him. “My lord?”
“Was she worth it?”
Cullen simply stared at him. Due to the weak light, William couldn’t really see much of his face but he did see when the man lifted a hand to wipe an errant tear from his eye.
“More than you know.”
With that, he was gone, leaving William feeling more sympathy than he had in a very long time. Perhaps it was his age; he was becoming foolish. Or, perhaps, it was simply the tragic circumstances.
William wondered seriously what he would tell Cullen’s father.
When he finally did, Val de Nerra was devastated.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
It was just before daybreak.
Having just come from Rodstone House, where they had escorted Preston home from the feast at Westminster Hall, Hamilton and Godfrey were back at Westminster with the intention of seeing to Lady Barklestone.
Preston, of course, knew nothing about the conversation with Cullen the night before. As far as Preston knew, Cullen was still on the run and Lady Barklestone was locked up for crimes against the king but that she was not to be executed. He took his information from Hamilton and Godfrey, having no reason not to trust them. The knights knew this, and made sure to impress upon Preston that it had been their intervention with the king, in delivering the plea from the Earl of Barklestone that his wife not be executed, that ultimately saved the woman’s life.
That was all Preston really cared about – that the woman’s life be spared, but only how her life or death reflected upon his own reputation and nothing more. Perhaps at some point, he could regain his wife’s freedom but, again, it was all for show. He didn’t want the nobility of England thinking he was a terrible husband for not fighting for his wife’s freedom, and that was where Hamilton and Godfrey were able to manipulate the situation.
Preston had made it simple.
They convinced Preston to let them return to Westminster to speak to the king on his behalf again, this time begging for the release of Lady Barklestone, but the truth was that they had no intention of doing that. They had returned to Westminster for their own reasons – telling the lady that Cullen had died escaping the king’s guards. Once she heard that, surely she would not want to live. Surely she would not try to escape to find him. The hope was that she would remain in the vault until she rotted.
Or until the king decided to have something more to do with her.
In any case, Hamilton and Godfrey arrived at Westminster just as the sun was beginning to lighten the sky in the east. It was cold and the air was damp, and their breath came out in great puffs of fog as they made their way to the guard house. It was in that guard house that they would make their request to see Lady Barklestone on behalf of her husband.
The sergeant in charge knew nothing about the woman’s imprisonment, so they were passed to another set of guards at the royal residence, where a very big and very terrifying knight came to speak with them. They’d seen the man before, a knight known as the Lord of the Shadows because of his stealth, his deadliness, and his unwavering dedication to the king. Years ago, he had started out as part of the king’s personal guard but had moved into a very close position with the king as of late. If John wanted it done, de Lara would do it. Most of London lived in fear of de Lara even more than the king.
And it was de Lara who finally took them to see Lady Barklestone. He’d interrogated Hamilton and Godfrey somewhat but, in the end, there wasn’t any reason to prevent the knights from seeing their liege’s wife. It was their legal right. He took them to a residential block that was near the river, to a corner chamber on a top floor that had two guards on it and a big, iron bolt on the door. De Lara had the guards throw the bolt and open the door, but before Hamilton and Godfrey went in, he spoke to them in hushed tones.
“Just a few minutes,” he told them. “And do not agitate her. She has been quiet thus far and we want to keep it that way.”
The two knights nodded solemnly and Hamilton took the lead, stepping into the tiny chamber that smelled of dust and smoke from a low-burning hearth. He caught sight of the river and, from where they were positioned, he realized that the slip they’d found Cullen in had been almost directly below them, five stories down.
The proximity of Lady Barklestone and Cullen wasn’t lost on him and Hamilton was coming to think he and Godfrey had been very fortunate with Cullen last evening. Had the man raised his voice, and had the lady heard him, their plot to separate the pair would have been for naught.
Thank God it had ended well in their favor.
On the bed, Teodora was sitting up quickly, having been awoken from a fitful sleep to realize there wer
e men in her chamber. Groggy, she drew her legs up and cowered back against the wall, rubbing her eyes as the door shut quietly behind Godfrey and Hamilton. When she stopped rubbing her eyes, it took her a moment to recognize them.
“You?” she hissed. “You… you dare to come to see me after what you have done?”
She was mostly focused on Hamilton, who held his ground. “My lady, I will once again swear to you that I did not know the king to be in the chamber where I left you,” he insisted. “You can think what you will, but my conscience is clean. I am terribly sorry all of this happened, I truly am, but we have come to speak to you and we do not have much time. Will you listen?”
Teodora was pale, her eyes dark-circled. “Speak to me about what?” she snarled. “My life is in tatters, Cullen’s life is in tatters, and it is all your fault!”
Hamilton had a feeling she was going to become physically violent if he didn’t stop her momentum, so he lowered his voice and jabbed an angry finger in her face, trying to break her rising storm.
“Fault or no, it is Cullen we have come to speak of,” he growled. “If you want to hear what we have to say, then keep your lips shut and listen. But if not, we will leave at this moment and you will never know.”
Teodora was very close to lashing out at him with an angry hand, or even angry feet, but she restrained herself for one very good reason – they had come to speak of Cullen. It was the only thing that kept her from flying into a rage.
“Speak then and get out,” she said. “Where is he? Did the soldiers capture him?”
For the second time in just a few hours, Hamilton was called upon to deliver a falsehood with a flair for believability. He was an accomplished liar, that was true, but in the face of the lovers, both Cullen and Teodora, he found that he had a conscience with such things. He hadn’t had much of one when speaking to Cullen, but with the lady… for some reason, it was different. She was a female and should be protected. But in this case, nothing could protect her. She was already too far gone.
He braced himself.
“I wish I could tell you that was the truth,” he said. “It would be better than what I am about to tell you. You see, we were looking for him to help him escape the king’s wrath. But we were not in time.”
Before he could continue, all of the fury drained out of Teodora’s face and she suddenly grabbed him, nearly pulling him off-balance.
“In time for what?” she gasped. “Is he injured?”
Hamilton tried to peel her fingers from his arm. “My lady, be calm,” he said quietly. “The soldiers outside cannot know we have told you this. We told them that we had come to deliver a message from your husband and if they know it is not the truth, they will question everything. My lady… we know about you and Cullen, and that is why we have come. We thought you would want to know.”
Teodora was staring up at Hamilton with horror reflecting in her eyes. Perhaps she already knew what they were about to say, but she wouldn’t go on assumptions. She was starting to look strangely ill.
“Know what?” she asked hoarsely. “What do you know about me and Cullen?”
“We know that he was… fond of you,” Hamilton said. “Only a man in love would have done what he did when he saved you from the king’s lust. Those were not the actions of a man doing his duty on behalf of his liege. They were the actions of a man protecting the woman he loved.”
She took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly as she sat back against the wall. She was calming herself, adjusting to information that wasn’t particularly surprising. But it was alarming. Her eyes never left Hamilton.
“Does de Lacy know this?” she asked.
“He has been told everything. He suspects there is something more than politeness between you and Cullen.”
She fell silent a moment before speaking in a hesitant tone. “You will tell me where Cullen is now.”
Hamilton hesitated, just enough for dramatic flair. “My lady, I regret to inform you that Cullen was killed trying to escape the king’s men,” he said, sounding sorrowful as he had when he’d told Cullen virtually the same thing about the lady. “They cut him down outside the gates. Lord de Lacy knows of his death and he is making arrangements to send Cullen back to his father, but this is why you must keep your… feelings for Cullen to yourself. If it were to get out, Cullen’s entire family would be shamed and I know you would not want that. As it is, he returns to his family with his pride intact even though his death was the result of his disobedience. His family will be told that he died protecting Lady Barklestone and that is all they ever need know. Do you understand?”
Teodora’s hand was on her heart, her expression one of such pain that it was difficult to look at it and not feel a measure of what she was experiencing. It bled out of every crevice of her body.
“Nay,” she breathed. “Please tell me it is not so.”
“I wish I could, Lady Barklestone.”
She blinked and fat tears spilled down her cheeks but, to her credit, she didn’t utter a sound. She kept silent as much as she was able, but her grief was palpable. It was a difficult thing to watch.
“When…” She stopped, swallowed, and started again. “When did this happen?”
“Late last night.”
“How did you discover this?”
“We discovered it when we were searching for him.” Hamilton was actually feeling some guilt at the expression on her face, one that mirrored Cullen’s expression when the man had been told of Lady Barklestone’s death. “We saw his body, my lady, but please do not ask me to describe what I saw. I will not tell you. You do not need to know such things.”
Turning her head away from him, Teodora closed her eyes and tears streamed down her face. Still, she kept silent. It was silent weeping as her body shook with sobs that she would not permit to escape her lips. In fact, a hand went to her mouth, holding back the noise that was fighting to come forth.
“Such a waste,” she finally murmured, muffled by her hand on her lips. “Such a waste of the greatest man who has ever walked this Earth. It is because of me this happened. He is dead because of me.”
Hamilton eyed her, wondering if she was going to turn the blame onto him for the event, much as Cullen had blamed him. Not wanting to veer down that rocky road again, he decided to take the offensive in the hopes that his pseudo-guilt would distract her from the truth of the situation.
“Nay,” Hamilton said seriously. “It is my fault. Had I only checked the chamber before I took you there, none of this would have happened. I have been trying to figure out how the king was in the same chamber with you and I can only come to the conclusion that he saw me take you out of the great hall and followed. It is well known that the man has uncontrollable lust and I should have been more… aware. Forgive me, Lady Barklestone. Please.”
Teodora opened her eyes to look at the man she fully blamed for everything. She’d heard his sickly-sweet apology following news she’d prayed she would never hear.
He was killed trying to escape the king’s men.
Cut down outside the gates.
All of those words were rolling around in her head and as much as she wanted to blame Hamilton, just as he was blaming himself, the truth was that she had started the entire thing. She had loved him first.
This was all her fault.
Cullen had only, and ever, been courteous and noble. She was the one who had fallen for him and she was the one who had lured him into discussing feelings he would have left alone had she not demanded he speak of what was in his heart. He had, and something beautiful and clandestine had been born, only to live a very short life.
Where her heart had once been, there was now a jagged, black hole.
And with it went her will to fight.
It was gone.
“He is going home to Selborne Castle?” she asked hoarsely.
Hamilton glanced at Godfrey, who had so far remained silent during the entire exchange. In fact, Godfrey seemed very upset by the lady’s r
eaction to their lie, so Hamilton answered.
“Aye,” he said. “It is where his family lives.”
Teodora couldn’t even wipe the tears that were streaming down her face and neck. She let them fall. “Someday, I shall visit there,” she whispered. “I do not know when, but I swear I shall go there and visit his crypt someday. He must know how much he was loved, and even until the end of my life, loved still.”
Hamilton didn’t try to discourage her because he knew it would be a miracle if she ever made it out of the king’s clutches alive. She was his prisoner and probably would be until he tired of her, and then there was no telling what he would do with her. It was a rather sad ending for a beautiful woman, but it couldn’t be helped.
Glancing at Godfrey again, he caught the man’s eye and imperceptibly nodded his head in the direction of the chamber door, giving the man the hint that it was time to leave. They’d lobbed their artillery into Lady Barklestone’s walls, crumbling them, and there was nothing left for them to do.
The deed was done.
Godfrey caught Hamilton’s silent command but he couldn’t seem to move toward the door. He was still entrenched with the sorrow that Lady Barklestone was exhibiting and it was beginning to occur to him that whatever was between the lady and Cullen wasn’t something trite. It was something with far more meaning than he had suspected. Although he badly wanted to be the Earl of Barklestone, he was feeling some guilt for destroying innocent lives in his quest to achieve it.
He had to get out of there before he blew their entire plan.
“Be brave, Lady Barklestone,” he said. “I… I am sure that Cullen would want you to be. You must think of his memory, after all, and you must honor it.”
Teodora had her face turned away or she would have seen Hamilton’s vicious glare to Godfrey, who quickly turned for the door before he said anything more.
“We will leave you now, my lady,” Hamilton said. “Please accept our sympathies on what has happened. ’Tis a terrible thing.”
Noble Line of de Nerra Complete Set: A Medieval Romance Bundle Page 21
