“As long as you are content, that is all that matters.”
Chadwick nodded, but he was eyeing Cullen in the dim light of the forest and it was clear that there was much on his mind.
“Now, tell me,” he said softly. “Why are you reduced to an outlaw, Cullen? What has happened?”
Cullen sighed sharply. Perhaps he couldn’t tell him the entire truth, but he could tell him something. His old friend was asking it of him and he didn’t want the man to think he’d simply thrown over the honor of the knighthood for the dishonor of thievery. There had been reasons behind it.
Carefully, he chose his words.
“Because the man you are healing killed the woman I love,” he said simply. “That is all I will say about it, Chad. Do not ask me more.”
Chadwick looked at Cullen with some horror in his expression. “God, Cullen,” he murmured. “Is it true?”
“It is.”
Chadwick closed his eyes, briefly, as if to block out that sorrow. “I am so terribly sorry to hear that,” he said. “Please accept my deepest sympathies. But… are you here to seek vengeance against him? Is that why you are in the forest so near to Rockingham, living amongst thieves? Are you are waiting for the opportunity to seek vengeance?”
Cullen wouldn’t tell him any more than he already had in case Chadwick mentioned it to Barric, whether on purpose or inadvertently. He simply couldn’t chance it.
“It is far more complicated than that,” he said. “Just know that I am sorry you must tend a man who is unworthy of your skill. He is unworthy of the air he breathes. And you will swear to me upon your oath as a knight and as a physic that you never saw me here and that this conversation never happened. Whatever you are now, Chad, and whatever your loyalties are, I beg you not to speak of it. You must forget that you have seen me. Will you do this?”
Chadwick nodded slowly, with pain in his expression. “If that is your wish,” he said. “You have my vow. But I must tell you that it hurts me to see you reduced to this, Cullen. You had the greatest potential of any man I had ever seen. What you are now… this is a waste of talent. But if you are content, I suppose that is all that matters.”
“That is what I said to you.”
Chadwick grinned, a lopsided gesture. “It is the truth,” he said. “Mayhap we have both found situations that are not so ideal, but we endure what we must.”
“Indeed, we do.”
“Will I see you again?”
“I hope not. I would hope that you remember me as I was, not as what you now see.”
Chadwick understood. Silence settled between them and it was clear that there was nothing more either of them could say.
The time for talk was over.
With an aching heart, Chadwick mounted his horse and found his way out of the forest without a hind glance to Cullen. Perhaps it was better that way, because seeing the man standing in the trees, a once-great knight reduced to an outlaw, truly hurt his heart more than he could express.
The man you are healing killed the woman I love.
Those words rang over and over in Chadwick’s mind until he started to hate himself for it. Had he known that when he’d been summoned to save Barric’s life, perhaps things would have been different.
Sometimes, things happened in life that he didn’t understand, and this was one of them. It was a true and righteous tragedy.
Not strangely, he didn’t feel much like going into Corby any longer.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Rockingham Castle
January, Year Of Our Lord 1209
“This is becoming tedious and exhausting, my lord,” Teodora said, frustration in her voice. “We have tried things de Lara’s way lo these seven months, but his tactics are not working. I, for one, am tired of riding to the aid of a village or a farm only to lose men in the process. Owen and his men have become far bolder over the past few months and have taken to ambushing us with crossbows from the trees. If we do not stop these outlaws, then we may as well stop riding to the aid of your vassals for we are clearly being beaten.”
She was standing in the center of Barric’s fine solar, the one with hides on the floors and tapestries on the walls. There were several of them, in fact, because Barric liked to show off his wealth. There was nothing in that smoke-hazed chamber that wasn’t very expensive or very fine, and there was also a small gallery overhead where large Rockingham banners were draped.
But no one was looking at the walls or floors or gallery, or even caring much about the smoke that was backing up out of the chimney because of the winds outside. A storm was blowing in from the east, but it was nothing compared to the storm brewing inside that chamber. The army had just returned from yet another skirmish with the outlaws from Blackthorn Forest and Teodora’s frustration with the situation was coming to a head.
The chamber had other occupants listening to her anger. Sean was one of them and it was taking all of his self-control not to lash out at her because she was questioning his command ability. In fact, her words were slander as far as he was concerned, and he wasn’t the only one who thought so. Barric, who was feeling strong enough these days to sit upright in a chair for a short amount of time, thought they sounded very much like an insult, as did Sloan, who had been Barric’s constant companion during the months of Barric’s recovery.
Sloan had trained long ago as a knight, but his life had been one of politics and intrigue, not of fighting and military might. Even he was having difficulty swallowing Teodora’s furor and he suspected it wouldn’t be long before de Lara wrapped his enormous hands around the woman’s throat.
The situation was about to get ugly.
“Unfortunately, what we see here are the results of Bradford de Rivington spoiling his only child and giving her a sense of place in a man’s world,” he said as if explaining the lady’s behavior to Barric and Sean. “As you have seen over the past several months, Lady Barklestone fancies herself a warrior and it is her father’s fault. You mustn’t be too hard on her because she believes she knows better than a highly seasoned knight in these matters.”
Teodora’s cheeks flushed. “It does not take a great intellect to see that we are wasting time with these outlaws,” she said. “And I have attended many a battle. I do not imagine that I know more than de Lara, but I am simply saying that his tactics are not working.”
“And just what tactics would you have me use?” Sean said, a hint of hazard in his tone. “My lady, I have tolerated your inferior skills when it comes to these skirmishes with the outlaws and I have seen you make foolish choices that could have easily cost you your life. Although I will not lower myself to discuss military matters with you, I will say this – you could not hope to have the military knowledge that I do and the time of you riding with my men has come to an end. I will no longer be responsible for you or anything about you. Is that in any way unclear?”
The flush in Teodora’s cheeks deepened into a dark, embarrassed red. “It does not take a military genius to see that we are not gaining any headway against the outlaws,” she said. “They continue to strike and they continue to wreak havoc, and we continue to be ineffective. That is all I am trying to say.”
Sean took a step in her direction and it was then that Barric threw up his hands to stop the knight’s forward progression. “Sean, you will not touch her,” he said, pointing to the opposite side of the solar. “Step over there, away from her. I do not think she means to offend but, clearly, that is what she is doing.”
As Sean immediately turned and headed to the other side of the chamber to pace off his building rage, Teodora watched him walk away.
“Nay,” she said, sighing heavily. “I am not trying to insult you, Sean, but I am frustrated. I do not understand why you do not take more action against them.”
Sean didn’t say anything, but Barric did. “My lady, surely you know that de Lara is the man known in military and political circles as the Lord of the Shadows,” he said. “Surely you know the man has
an unsavory reputation at best, so antagonizing him will only bring you harm. I would suggest you curb your tongue when speaking to him because if the man snaps, there is nothing I can do. He has killed for far less than what you are delivering. Do I make myself clear?”
Teodora had heard that about de Lara, of course, but in their months together at Rockingham, they’d had a rather odd relationship and she had forgotten what a deadly hazard the man was. There were days when Sean was almost friendly and in the past, they had indulged in some pleasant, if not downright friendly, conversations about horses or weapons or even Sean’s home on the Welsh Marches. But then there were times when she wanted to throttle the man because she didn’t like his decision-making processes, willing to challenge a man twice her size and strength without reserve. Truly, she had no fear of him but she thought that, perhaps, she should.
“Sean, forgive me if I have offended you,” she said, turning to look at the man and trying once again to soothe whatever fury he was feeling. “But am I wrong in thinking our response to the outlaws has been ineffective? My father had the same problem, once, but he was able to set a trap that destroyed their raids once and for all. Have you thought about setting up an ambush so that we may overwhelm them with our army?”
Sean was standing over in the shadows, appropriately, and he didn’t answer her right away. He simply stood there, gazing from the window as if he was the only one in the chamber. Teodora waited a nominal amount of time before returning her attention to Barric.
“My lord, I am grateful that you have given me the freedom to ride with the army and to serve with Sean,” she said sincerely. “I do not mean to cause trouble, but…”
“But that is exactly what you are doing,” Barric said, cutting her off. “I granted you this privilege because you pleaded with me, and I wanted to see you happy. But I do not think Sean is happy and if I must choose between Sean leading my army or you leading it, then I must defer to Sean. He is a great knight and you, my lady, are not. Therefore, he does not wish for you to ride with him any longer and I will agree with him. From now on, you will focus on your chatelaine duties and on amusing me. That is where your attention should be, anyway. Let Sean handle the outlaws.”
Teodora’s heart sank. She recalled, clearly, that Chadwick had warned her about such things, about destroying the privilege she had worked so hard for, and now it had come to pass. Strangely, she was willing to resign herself to it, but not because she was bowing to de Lara’s will. Truth be told, it was because of the child growing in her belly, who was becoming larger, and it was increasingly difficult to ride and fight the way she had been doing. Even now, as she stood in front of Barric in layers of tunics and mail, there was no way of knowing she was pregnant because it was well hidden, but she knew. More and more, she was becoming willing to put aside her wants for once and think of her child.
Perhaps it was, indeed, time to give it all up.
“If that is your wish, my lord,” she said with resignation. “I will not force this issue if this is what you want.”
Barric watched her, surprised the usually-contentious woman wasn’t arguing with him. She’d given in fairly quickly, something he hadn’t expected. He could only imagine that all of the riding she’d been doing, and the strain of fighting the outlaws had somehow worn her down. Perhaps she had even been looking for a way out. Whatever the case, he didn’t question her about it. He was happy to accept her surrender.
“I am glad you are being reasonable,” he said. “It is far too much for a woman to keep up such a terrible pace. Men are so much stronger in that regard. Since you no longer need to be part of this conversation, you are dismissed. I shall see you tonight at sup.”
Head hanging, Teodora simply nodded and headed for the door to the solar, but she paused before opening it. Her gaze moved to Sean, still standing over by the window.
“I am sorry if I offended you,” she said quietly. “I was only trying to give you my opinion.”
Sean simply nodded, once, but said nothing. Feeling as if she’d genuinely offended the man, Teodora pulled open the solar door and stepped through it, closing it behind her. When she was gone, Sloan moved away from Barric’s chair, shaking his head sadly.
“God,” he groaned. “Her father has indulged her so that she is nearly unmanageable. Sean, you are a saint for having put up with her bold tongue for as long as you have. Had it been me, I probably would have slapped her long ago.”
As Sean came away from the window and silently headed back toward the center of the chamber, Barric spoke.
“She does have a point,” he said. “These raids are getting out of hand, Sean. What do you intend to do?”
Sean scratched his head. “What I have been doing,” he said. “Allowing the outlaws to believe they are one step ahead of me.”
Sloan looked at him curiously. “What do you mean?”
Sean was moving to the wine pitcher. Now that Teodora was out of the chamber, he was relaxed enough to speak freely.
“The situation is this,” he said. “Lady Barklestone is not wrong, not at all. I have been dragging when it comes to dealing with the outlaws, but it is all part of my plan. When the time is right, I shall set up a trap and wipe them out once and for all, but until then, every battle tells me of their strengths, their weakness, what direction they run in when they are fleeing, and any number of considerations. I must be fully informed before I set up the ambush that will destroy them. I cannot leave anything to chance.”
Sloan and Barric looked at each other in surprise. “Then why not tell Lady Barklestone?” Barric asked. “Instead, you let her harass you.”
Sean took a drink of the rich, red wine. “I do not tell her anything because it is not her business,” he said flatly. “I did not want her riding with my army from the beginning, my lord, and you knew that. I will never treat her as an equal, even if she is correct.”
That made some sense to the like-minded males. “I do not wish for her to ride into battle anymore as it is,” Barric said. “This has given me the excuse I needed to deny her. She has had her fun with the army, but now it is time for her to give up her foolish notions of battle and return to her proper place. God knows, the woman needs to be reminded just where her place is. She is becoming a thorn in my side with her demands and behavior. Why, only last night, I asked her to sing me a song and she refused. Do you know that? She refused. In truth, I cannot take another night of conversation with her. I do all of the talking and she does all of the listening. I am growing exceedingly bored.”
Sloan fought off a grin. “So she is not the delightful companion you hoped she would be?”
Barric made a face of disgust. “She is the most undelightful companion. As it turns out, she is only pleasing to the eye. She has no other redeeming qualities that I have discovered.”
Sloan couldn’t help but chuckle now. “Then why not send her back to her husband?” he said. “If you are tired of her, return her to Barklestone and find someone else to amuse you. Beauty can only go so far. If the woman is disagreeable, why keep her around?”
Sean interjected before Barric could reply. “Barklestone does not want her back,” he said. “Mayhap he knew something you did not, my lord, but he had been clear from the onset of the situation that he does not care what happens to her. If you send her back to him, it could be hazardous to the woman and you do not need her death on your hands.”
Barric looked concerned, but only for himself and what the countess’ fate at the hands of her husband might mean to his reputation. He, too, knew that de Lacy had never requested the return of his wife after that terrible incident those months ago. All he’d ever asked was that she not be executed. The reality was that de Lacy preferred men, so his marriage to his dead nephew’s betrothed was only for one purpose – to acquire Bradford de Rivington’s estate and perhaps to even spy on him, because Preston was savvy enough to know that Teodora de Rivington had married him for that very same purpose – she was being used against
him, as well.
A pawn.
Perhaps that was why neither John nor Barric had ever taken any issue with seducing Lady Barklestone because everyone knew the marriage was in name only, and Preston had proved that when he hadn’t fought hard for his wife’s release when she’d been arrested. All of London was muttering about that, in fact, or so they’d heard rumor. Therefore, if Barric sent her back to her husband and he punished her, resulting in her death, that might reflect poorly on him.
He wasn’t quite willing to do that – yet.
“I suppose what you say is true,” he said after a moment. “As I recall, Preston only pleaded that she not be executed for her offense against the king and did not ask for her return. God’s Bones, do you suppose he did not want her returned because he knew what she was like? Demanding and spoiled and unhappy? It has been months now and I’ve not seen a change in her disposition. What if she is always like this?”
Sean nodded faintly. “That is a distinct possibility, my lord.”
As Sean and Barric spoke on all of the reasons why Lady Barklestone was an unpleasant person, Sloan simply sat and listened. In truth, he was thinking back to his conversation with Bradford when Teodora’s betrothal to Preston first came about after the death of Ridley. Sitting in the solar at Cerenbeau Castle, he remembered speaking to Bradford about using Teodora to spy on Preston, but those plans to use the woman against her husband had long since been destroyed.
However…
Sloan could see that Barric was seriously considering sending her back to her husband which, given the fact that Preston didn’t want her returned, probably would not be a healthy situation for the lady. Sean was correct on that account. But Teodora, in spite of her disposition, was still a beautiful young woman, and as far as Sloan was concerned, could still be used against her husband at the proper time.
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