by B Amari
“I’m not normal people,” he replied and shrugged. “I’m holding up fine. Better it seems than Andreas.” he looked over his shoulder down the way the hall turned. “I’ve been angry off and on lately, but not enough to beat up my knuckles on a tree that ain't gonna give a fuck if it breaks you.”
A beat of silence held itself aloft between us. I snuggled into myself, into the chairs embrace, and whispered. “What do you think they’re doing to Calix?”
Slias tensed beside me. “You can’t think of that right now.”
I spun on him and glared into his eyes. “And why the hell not? Maybe you never gave the guy a chance but I did, he’s not a threat or a bad person! They're probably going to kill him, and it’s my fault for not insisting we leave when we found the fucking tracker. So yes! I will think of him right now if I damn well want to.” I huffed and sat back in a comfortable position in the chair, staring into the low embers of the dying fire.
“He’s one of their own, they won't kill him. They’ll want answers, they’ll want to know what he learned while he was with us.”
I didn’t reply. I knew that, it was what I was afraid of. I also knew what they were going to do to get those answers, and I wouldn’t be there to threaten the torturer into submission like I had with Silas. He might not care about Calix, but I found that I did, or at least I had started too. If not as a friend - which is what I would place my bets on - than as a human being, at least.
Silas eventually moved off and went to explore the upstairs, where Jacques had told us we would be staying. I didn’t want to see my room yet. Jacques had explained it used to be his wife’s parlour room, and I didn’t like the way he had said used to be.
Plus it was probably all frilly, and pink, and shit, and that was not the mood I was feeling right now. Surrounding myself with a princess room was only going to remind me of that.
Footsteps came my way. Expecting to see Jacques back sans the angry bossman, I was surprised to see Andreas alone, a fist full of wild flowers in his hands. “I’m sorry,” he pleaded.
I chuckled. “What for?” He hadn’t yelled at me recently, or pulled any particularily diskish moves.
“Jacques said that women like you shouldn’t have to see men like me when they can’t hold their temper, and that I ought to apologize out of respect.”
I full on laughed then. “Women like me? Men like you? What in the bejesus is that supposed to even mean? Andreas, it’s okay to be mad. Your home was just infiltrated by scumbuckets.”
Andreas walked over to the chair and squatted in front of me, his jeans pulling real tight on his upper thighs. I drew my attention away from his pants and back to his face.
“Fine, than Medoe, I am sorry that I couldn’t keep you safe.” He passed me the small bundle of daisies and lupins. “I can’t promise you they won't find us again, but I can promise you I’m going to do everything I can to protect you when the inevitable happens.”
I smelled the daisies. I’d always loved their gentle, subtle fragrance. “You did protect me though, you and Silas both. I couldn’t have taken them all by myself, and I’m here, unhurt, and safe.”
Andreas smiled, basking in the warmth of the moment. I was loathe to ruin it, but I had to try this one more time.
“Do you think we can find them first?” I asked.
Andreas stopped to think that over for a moment. “No Medoe, I’m not using my resources to find these fuckers just for you to run headlong back into their sights. It’s too risky.”
“But if we wait they might move, and then we'll never find them,” I retorted. “We know they're in the area, now.”
“This is about him isn't it?” Andreas growled.
“About who?” I asked innocently as I could muster.
“About that damn Guild neophyte! You’re trying to manipulate me into saving him aren't you?” His face turned sour and he got up from his squatted position to pace in front of me. “No, absolutely not, especially just for him. I won't risk it.”
I jumped from the chair and pointed my finger into his chest, stalling his movements. “Fine, don't then. I’ll do it on my own.”
Andreas grabbed me gently, but firmly around the shoulder. “Over my dead body.” Andreas’ voice had raised so that I thought the ceiling might fall. I stilled. Andreas had never made me think he would hurt me, but his anger was rising. “No, Medoe. Just, no!”
I didn’t know what to say. I was stuck.
Jacques rounded the corner. “What’s all this noise?” he asked.
He took in the situation and rushed over to us, staring Andreas down even with his shorter stature. His voice dripped venom when he spoke. “You take your damn hands... off the lady... right this fucking moment Andy, and you start speaking to her as such... or I will make you regret it.”
I had never heard Jacques speak with anything but respect when it came to Andreas, so the threat took me by surprise. As I was sure it did to Andreas as well. He dropped his hands, his face morphing from rage to disbelief to shame, and stepped back.
Jacques placed his arm over my shoulder and steered me away from the raging bull that Andreas was, even if Jacques had verbally castrated him, he was still shaking. He stormed out of the room and back down the hall. The noise of the screen door rang up the hallway again, and I knew exactly where he had gone.
Jacques led me the other way, through the dining room and into a spectacular kitchen, although I didn't get time to appreciate it as he rushed me through the door and down a long dirt path until we came to a beautiful sight. An orchard in bloom sprawled before me. I’d never seen anything like it, except maybe in paintings.
He walked silently through the gate, looked over his shoulder, and motioned for me to follow. “Come’ere, I got a berry bush to put all others to shame.”
I followed Jacques down through the trees until we came to a rock wall with an overgrowth of berry bushes threatening to take over the space. We picked for awhile, and I was glad for the silence. I needed time to roll over that last interaction with Andreas in my head, and admittedly in my heart.
After a bit I decided that I had dwelled long enough, I pushed the thoughts aside - as was my custom - and moved on.
“Hey Jacques, can I ask you a question?”
Jacques stopped picking the berries at the rockwall. He placed the small orbs he had in his hand in his basket, wiping the juice from his hands on to his pants. “Sure ya can, little miss.”
“It doesn’t really matter in the long run, it’s nothing serious, I was just wondering. How did you decide to become a P.I.? I mean, I suppose it’s the logical path after the army, then the police force, but I mean it doesn't offer all the extras, like you know severance packages and insurance, things like that. Seems almost a step down,” I froze I didn't mean to insult his job. “No offence of course, I just..”
A natural laugh floated through the air. “Don’t you worry yourself, I didn’t take no insult from it. I quit the police force when my sister was killed. I just couldn't stand to look at my coworkers faces knowing how little they had done to find her murderer.”
Oh Gods. I seriously had a knack for gravitating towards sad stories. Before I had met all the guys I thought of myself as tragic, but getting to know them has shown me that a lot of people face battles that leave scars, and there probably isn’t one person out there without at least one real good tear jerking sob story.
“I’m sorry.” I replied. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Ain't much to tell, little miss. I was on duty when a hostage situation came over the radio at the local bank. We did what we could to save the civilians but some were still hurt, some died. The robber made his way out of the bank uncaptured somehow. We still don’t know. Anyway, my sister was in the bank, she was among the injured. She was taken to the hospital, but didn’t make it through the surgery. I vowed to find that bank robber, but I never did. I failed. I never found him, but I promised my sisters soul I would do everything I could to honor her
by solving cases similar, so their families wouldn’t suffer what my sister and I did.” A dark cloud covered Jacques face in violent emotions.
I walked slowly over to my friend. I placed my hand on his shoulder. “I’m not even going to say I’m sorry, Jacques, it just doesn't seem like enough.. You’re an amazing man,you know that? She was really lucky to have you, and I’m sure your sister is watching you now, proud as a peacock at the choices you’ve made.”
A small fake smile tugged at the corner of Jacques lip and I could tell he was doing it just for me. Either that, or if he tried to express more he was going to cry.
”So...How did you end up on Andreas payroll? Seems a large jump from vengeance superhero, to kept P.I.?”
A real smile graced his emotion stricken face then. “That’s the bossman’s story to tell.”
A few moments of silence passed, and we got back to picking the berries off the briar bush. I wondered why Jacques would cut off the storytelling there. Was there something he was protecting for Andreas, maybe in the form of a secret? I made a mental note to prod my broody suitman for answers. Later. Jacques took a quick break to get a drink, and I used the opening to be even more nosy.
“I really don’t mean to pry. Okay that’s a horrible way to start,” I concluded. Starting over I tried to put what I was thinking into words, but it felt like a seriously sensitive subject. “I do kind of mean to pry because I’m asking, obviously. But I always assumed you were married, you wear the ring.” I instinctively reached down and grabbed his hand, and he let me.
I raised it up and rubbed my thumb over the golden band. “I thought maybe when you brought us here I’d meet the missus, but she’s not here is she? You don’t need to tell me why or anything, it’s just… I’d hate to assume.”
Jacques pulled his hand from mine. “No little miss, she ain't here no more. My Mary died ten years ago. Cervical cancer that went undiagnosed. One day she was here, the next she was just gone. Doesn’t feel real sometimes.” Jacques looked off into the distance and his eyes clouded over, stuck in a memory.
Oh sweet baby Gandhi. I hadn’t expected another such tragedy. Maybe a wife, fed up with the hours and the danger of a P.I., or maybe a divorce caused by infidelity. Maybe even at the end of her rope with his crusade for his sister, but not passed on. If I’d known she was no longer with us I’d have never brought it up. I felt like an absolute tool. “I’m so sorry Jacques.” I wasn’t sure if there was anything else that could be said. “For your tremendous amount of loss, but also for bringing it up. I’m a twatwaffle, a soggy, moldy twat waffle.”
“S’okay. I’m a big boy.” Jacques quipped, using my line against the guys, against me. “I wear the ring, in part to honor her, and in part because it makes the lady folk a lot more at ease speaking to me when im doing an investigation. As selfish as it sounds, it’s honest at least. Seems we been through too much between us to bother with foolishness like hidin’ the truth.”
I sat down on the rock wall beside Jacques, where he sat with his arms in a band across his chest, and his legs crossed at the ankles - his water bottle nested in the grass - and leaned my head on his shoulder. We didn’t speak after that, we simply sat. Sat and watched the birds fly around, and the bees buzz from fruit tree to fruit tree, and eating the sweet goodness we had picked with our own two hands. The sun was starting to set when Jacques finally stretched his legs, unfolding his arms, he gave me a little shake.
I had been nodding off and hadn’t even noticed. Thankful for the time between us, I wrapped my arms around Jacques before he stood. “Thank you for this, it was just what I needed.”
“But I didn’t do anything?” Jacques said surprised.
“Sure you did.” I smiled, he would figure it out eventually.
I needed a friend. I had needed someone uncomplicated; someone who I didn’t have complicated feelings for, and opinions about. Jacques had been that for me, even in our silence.
The last few weeks had been so hectic, I hadn’t even known how much I needed to just sit, and do nothing, worry about nothing, think about nothing.
He was my red-headed knight in a trench coat, and he didn’t even know it.
Chapter 18
It had been a couple of weeks since I’d come to stay in Jacques house. Little to nothing had happened. The boys and I had grown closer. It was changing who they were around me, not a lot, but enough for me to notice. I cared for them so deeply now. I was even more confused than I had been before. Where were these emotions coming from, and how could I be developing the same feelings for both men?
We hadn’t seen or heard from the Guild. I had nothing to go on as far as my campaign to save Calix went, and I wasn’t going to ask the guys for help. I knew the answer. Neither of them liked Calix very much, but I saw something in him worth saving.
And maybe, just maybe, if I could save Calix, it would make up, just a bit, for those I had hurt in the past. I mean his duty as a Guild member - while misguided - probably started out as a noble cause. I mean protect the humans from monsters is probably as heroic as it got. But who got to define the word monster?
Somewhere along the line I imagined that their views had become skewed, and their mission tainted, until they became what they are today. A group of psychotic killers who shoot first, and ask if they got the right person second, and fuck anyone who got in their way.
It was good that I’d never felt safe on my own, and kept myself aware and prepared, because I hadn’t been safe. Not by a long shot.
Honestly I’d never felt more safe, or grounded than I did here at Jacques. There was something about the place that just calms you down from whatever it was that was troubling you. No neighbors, big fields, and flowers, and nature surrounded you no matter where on the property you went. I suspected Jacques had bought it for that exact reason; the privacy.
I’d spent most of my time in the orchard outback. It was filled with apple trees, cherry trees, pear trees, and even a set of plum trees around a water feature. The east end of the property had a big crystalline pond with large koi you could see swimming through the water and beautiful pink, purple, and white lilies blooming amid the pads that littered the surface. The grounds were littered with covering blooms, like Bigroot G’s, Creeping Thyme, and Spotted Dead Nettle. I came here to relax, if that was even truly possible.
I hadn’t gotten enough logistical information from Calix to know exactly what to do in this situation; what the Hunters would do in this situation. I had to get him back. I just had to. I knew for a FACT that I was going to brutalize some kidnapping cockswabblers, and get back to my kinda-friend. What I didn’t know was where they would take him or how to find him, and that was the root of the issue.
Silas and Andreas were biting at the bit to get out here and hurt something. Both for legitimate reasons, but I didn’t think either of them were about Calix. My reason was. I had nothing to lose or go back to like they did.
Calix was a person, and he didn't deserve to be brainwashed into the cult mind like his forefathers. I’d grown fond of him as I held him captive, which was fucked up, but true. I’d decided to let people in to my life, and discovered that I have an inability to leave my friends behind. Together Calix and I would work to break down the antiquated ways of the hunters through their children. If we could break the cycle in this generation we could end the damn order of God-Hunters once and for all.
The sinister voice inside my head whispered in a hissing tone. You know thatssss not true.
As creepy as the multiple voices inside my head had become, I’d grown to accept and appreciate them. They didn't take any bullshit, and sometimes they were the deciding factor between being a chickenshit pussy, or a badass bitch.
And in this case, it was right.
I had to do more than break the cycle. I had to cut the snakes head off. I had to find out who was leading this army of psychopaths, and I had to kill them stone dead. I had to put aside the fact that all my life I just wanted to be normal, and be
come the monster my curse has guided me to be. I couldn’t double guess myself in the future. I had to be resolute, or these jackoffs were going to get me first, and then what? They would be left unchecked for only Gods knew how many more millennia.
“Ms. Remes?”
I jumped from the hard wooden bench I was sitting on, completely surprised at the interruption. I stumbled, but caught my balance eventually and stood up straight. He hadn’t said little miss, and the observation sent up red flags in my mind.
“Jac, you really need to call me Medoe, or little miss, I do like that one. We’re housemates now after all. And, maybe, try making a little noise when you walk up on someone. You’re like a damn ghost!” I joked. Even though I was kidding around with him, he was honestly like a phantom sometimes. He could walk up on anyone at any time without them noticing. I both loathed and was jealous of the ability.
“Yes, well Medoe. It seems you’ve got yourself a visitor. The bossman, and Mr. Silas aren’t being the most gracious hosts, almost killed her at the door. She’s not alone you see, but my gut and my nose was tellin me, she was a friend, not foe. Figured you’d want to come decide for yourself, yeah?” Jacques’s auburn hair bounced as he spoke with his hands waving about.
I smiled at my friend - who thankfully, either didn’t fall under the curses influence, or simply didn’t find me attractive in that way - and skipped over to him. Grabbing his arm I hauled him back with me.
“I don’t know anyone, and as far as I know, no one knows where I am. Who could be visiting your exact house, looking for my exact name? Are you sure she’s looking for me? What did you mean that she wasn’t alone, how many more are there?” I questioned rapidly.
