by Laine Watson
The conviction in his voice is enough to turn my heart. My body freezes. I can’t just leave him standing there. I kneel down in front of Max.
“Don’t cry, Mom. It’s okay. I can still call you that, right Summer? You don’t have to go away because you have a ‘brain-freeze.’ I can help. Daddy can help. Please don’t leave for anything. Except if you die. Then I guess we can’t say anything, but if you don’t die can you just stay, please? But can you not die, too?”
“Max…” I sigh, feeling less horrible and inadequate. “I… I have to talk to Daddy.”
“Then we can go and be a family today, and you won’t cry anymore? Even if you have a ‘brain-freeze?’”
I smirk out of my sadness. “Yeah, Max.”
“Really? Okay, I’m going to go get dressed,” he says, darting out of the room.
“Brush your teeth!” Haru reminds him, closing the door.
I stand up with a sigh.
Haru’s eyes glare at me, waiting for my next move. “Summer, I love you,” he admits with vulnerable eyes and a convicted spirit. “I’m sorry for saying stupid stuff. I guess I’m always going to, but I do love you and want to be with you.”
He said it with no pretence or hesitance. I love to hear him say it just like that. I pause for a moment. He walks over to me and places his hands on my arms slowly with uncertainty in his eyes.
“I love you.” He gulps and kneels down. “Will you please marry me?”
“You don’t have to do this because you think I’m going to leave you.”
“You said you were leaving. What can I do to make you stay? How can I prove I want to be with you?”
“Not like this.”
“This is the ultimate ‘I want to be with you forever.’”
“Haru, no. Not right now. You don’t even have a ring! We’ll get married when we’re both ready.”
“So, you’re not leaving?”
“No, I did freeze. I’m sorry. It just seemed like my mom was Sid and you were Jacob.”
“But we’re not those people.”
“It was the worst experience of my life. Sometimes it still haunts me. I’m the one you want to be with, right? This is real? You’re not with my mom, and I’m not aware of it? I know that sounds like a stupid question b—”
“No, I’m with you. I love you. I want to be with you. I want a family with you.”
“Okay.” I pause dramatically, “Then we tell my mother.”
“Okay,” he says without hesitation.
Chapter Twenty-Three: Hidden Agenda
A month passes. It is Saturday evening. Haru and I decide not only to tell my mom we are together, but also to tell her I’m moving with him. We are at my mom’s house. Haru and Max sit in the living room. Max plays on Haru’s phone while I prepare her favorite meal: roasted potatoes, seared green beans, and chicken breast.
I’m in the kitchen blowing gaskets and trying to figure out how I’m going to tell my mother, who thinks I’m careless and ambitionless, that I’m moving five hours away with a man and his child. I’m tense to say the least.
Okay, Summer. You have a plan. You know what your degree is going to be in. You know what college you’re transferring to, I say to myself, breathing hard as the door opens, and my mother comes into the house. You can do this.
“Mr. Arima?” my mother says, looking around with a sort of smile on her face.
“Hi, Mom,” I say, appearing in the living room and walking over to her. “I know this looks weird.” I gulp. “So, we’re here for dinner…”
“I already ate,” she says, as I lead her by the shoulders into the kitchen and away from Haru.
“I made your favorite. I even let the potatoes stay in extra long like you like.” I smile innocently.
My mother smiles at me knowingly. “What’s all this, and why is Haruki Arima,” she starts to speak louder, “who hasn’t paid his therapy bill or brought Max to his sessions in over a month, sitting in my living room?”
He really hasn’t been taking him.
“I have the check right here,” Haru says as he comes into the kitchen.
He’s still going to pay her? Psh!
“I see. Summer’s not working for you anymore. Max hasn’t been to any of his scheduled sessions. You haven’t said anything. Did you get the promotion or not?” my mother asks, folding her arms.
“Uh, yeah. I got it. I’m moving a couple of hours away. Shorter hours, better benefits, more vacation time.”
My turn. “So, Mom, okay…”
“What is this?”
“Um…” Oh, god. It’s not going to make sense to her. She’s just going to look at me like a little girl and think I’m stupid. I panic. I can’t do it.
“Ms. Vaughn, listen, I’m just going to come out and say it. I love Summer.”
My mother nods. “I see.”
What the hell? Why isn’t she freaking out? Why isn’t she yelling at me and chasing Haru with a knife? Oh, no! She’s going to kill us—she’s way too calm—we’re all going to die. It’s just going to be her and Max, I irrationally decide.
“Uh…” Haru says out of the awkward, frightening silence.
“You going with him?” my mother says, rolling her eyes and her head back.
“Well, Mom…”
“Stop being all awkward and stuff. What is wrong with you? Max already told me everything. What do you think we talk about in the sessions?” She points her index and middle finger at us. “You two.”
“What?” I ask outraged.
“He told me how you cook them dinner, you sleep at their house, and how you were his girlfriend, but you’re his daddy’s girlfriend now because he likes to kiss you on the mouth. And that you’re his new mom.”
My cheeks burn, and for the first time ever, I see Haru blush.
“Mom…” I say, trying to defend the truth with a wayward lie, though one isn’t coming to me.
“I knew it. That’s why I kissed him. I thought he’d come clean and tell me, but no. He just ran out with his tail between his legs. You’re not that kind of man.”
“You don’t know what kind of man he is,” I defend.
My mother smirks arrogantly. “But I know you.” She directs her dig toward me and turns to look at Haru. “I don’t understand, Mr. Arima. She has no ambition. She’s not doing anything with her life. What do you want with her? You should be looking for a woman who has as much going for her as you have going for you. What you’re not going to do is use my daughter. I can only imagine how you’re manipulating her.”
“What?” Haru says, turning his lip up at my mother.
“She has nothing going on for her. Why do you think she’s so available to you? And Summer, you should know better than let a man take advantage of you.”
I knew it. I knew she wouldn’t believe I’m good enough to be with him. I cover my mouth and the tears pool in my eyes.
Haru turns to me. “You better not cry!” he says to me with a stern face. “You don’t need her approval. You know who you are, and you know what your dreams are. Don’t!” he orders me.
I bump into the counter and suck my tears back up.
My mother looks at Haru and unfolds her arms. “You think you can order her around like a child?”
“No, I think she’s a good woman who has qualities you’re suppressing. You’re like this weed, choking a flower that’s already more beautiful than you, and she hasn’t even bloomed yet.”
I watch him as he speaks to my mother with a straight face. I walk around to them and push Haru back to stand before my mother. “No! Mom, I don’t think you’re a weed trying to suck the life out of me or whatever Haru’s talking about. I think you don’t know me, and you never try to see what I’m good at or what I like. He’s not manipulating me. You could never understand our relationship.”
“I don’t care, honestly.”
“You don’t care?”
“I understand Mr. Arima’s point of view just fine. And yours, too. But
it doesn’t matter. I’ve already lived my life. I don’t care what you do. It’s fine. If he ruins your life, you can always come back. If you ruin his, and he doesn’t want you anymore, you come back either way.”
“You don’t think I can make it on my own. You think I’d just be lost?”
“I do. Prove me wrong,” my mother challenges.
“Mom…”
“We’re leaving.” Haru takes me by the arm. Max is oblivious to what is happening, as he sits on the sofa playing on Haru’s phone.
Haru grabs Max. “C’mon.”
My mother stands at the edge of the kitchen and faces us.
“You don’t have to tell me anything, Summer. Just do it. I’m tired of hearing excuses and watching you do nothing. Show me. Just show me anything really. You’re going to go from spending one successful person’s money to spending another’s?”
“Summer, you don’t have to respond. She’s just going to keep insulting you. Let’s go,” Haru says calmly, opening the front door.
Ignoring Haru, I march back to toward my mother and stand before her. “I’m not with him for his money, and you’re the one being manipulative. You’re saying all this stuff because you think it’s going to make me change my mind. Well, I’m not changing my mind. You think I’m not doing anything with my life? I don’t care what you think. You’re being childish—you’re jealous. You have all this money and success, but you lied. You knew about me and Haru and you kissed him because you knew it would hurt. You tried to take the one thing that’s mine. Well, you can’t have him or Max, and you can’t have my happiness. You may be successful, but you are a bitter, depressed person. You have no happiness outside of putting others down. And I’m not anything like you! I don’t have to show you anything, you just watch me! I’m going with him.”
She doesn’t respond right away. Instead, she smugly stares at me with her arms folded across her chest as she leans against the kitchen’s door frame.
“Of course you are.”
I scoff at her and turn toward the door. As I walk away from her, declaring my independence, I reach in my pocket and pull out my car keys and my phone. “Here, you can have these.” I throw them both on the sofa.
“You’re so bold.” She mocks me. “I can have those? Why? Because Mr. Arima is just going to buy you the replacements?”
“No!” Why can’t I do anything that she takes serious? “I will!”
“Whatever, Summer,” my mother says, in an unconcerned way.
I turn toward the door to see Haru approaching. I feel like a failure, yet more determined than ever with Haru right there. I glare into his eyes. “Let’s go.”
Haru takes my hand and we walk to the car. Maybe my mother watches us from the house. Maybe she says good riddance.
I don’t know because I get in the car and never look back.
Sneak Peek
Book two in Haruki Arima Duet
Arima
Coming Soon
Chapter One: Missouri
Things have changed since we moved to Missouri. Haru gets his wish; Max can grow up with his grandparents and he can be with his parents. They babysit a lot, so we can go on real dates.
Haru’s hair has grown back and his new job allows him to spend lots more time with us. I’m doing an internship as a counselor at Ridient High School.
“Hey, so how did everything go with that student?” The counselor, who is shadowing me asks. It’s different everyday.
I sit in her chair. “I think it went well, actually. Her mom seems like she’s open to counseling.”
She takes a seat in one of the chairs in front of her desk. “Wow, not bad for a counselor in training; you’d think you were actually getting paid for this. That mom has been a hassle since day one.”
“I never thought I’d be counseling teenagers. That’s definitely not what I set out to do. Counseling is, but not the teenagers part. Thanks for letting me use your office. When you’re my mentor, I actually feel like I’m working. All the other counselors treat me like I’m an assistant.”
“You do a really good job. I can get my own coffee. You have a way with people. It’s strange but, kind and meaningful.”
“I really thought I’d be dealing with kids under the age of eight, Mira.”
“Well, you’re probably good with them, but you’re great with these kids.”
“This all seems so surreal; I was going to second-chance school, living with my mom. Then a summer goes by and I’m at the university, then I meet you and this spring semester has been the best so far. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have ever taken this internship.”
“Well, you were very impressionable, you had a lot to say. That was a fun lecture. I knew you’d be great, then. Every year I give a lecture at Hamilton. It’s the first year I’ve personally requested an intern.”
“My mother would not agree with you; but I do really like working here.”
“I think once you finish your observations and this internship, you should apply for the paid internship.”
“Paid internship?”
“Yes, if you submit an application next semester, I’ll write you a recommendation. If you get it, you’re pretty much guaranteed a job after graduation.”
“Really? I’d love to.”
“I’ll get you the website. You just have to apply. I know you’ll get it.”
“I hope so.” I sigh, getting up from the desk. “Well, I have to go. I’m headed to the elementary school.”
“Okay, have fun.” She waves me away. I leave the school and hop into a black four door sedan with gray seats and a nice black dashboard. It’s mine. I bought it with the money I saved up from watching Max. Something I don’t get paid to do anymore.
I drive to Eckert’s Mill Elementary School. It’s about one p.m., and school has been let out early today. I drive up and spot Haru waiting in his unflashy, two-door car. I smile and get out of my car.
Seeing him in Max’s school parking lot, smiling at me as I walk towards him, is unreal.
“Hi, princess.” He smirks.
“Hi, Haru.” My hands press against his chest.
He bends down to kiss my lips. “Thank you for coming.”
We walk into the school, turn down two hallways, and walk all the way down one until we are at the first-grade class of Mrs. Tillman.
“Hi, Mrs. Tillman,” I say as we step into the classroom.
“Summer. Haruki. You came. Max is going to be so happy.”
“Where is he?”
“He’s on the playground. The kids who are still here after the pick-up cut off time will come back inside in a few minutes, for the afterschool program.”
“Oh, okay,” Haru says.
“Please have a seat,” Mrs. Tillman invites us.
Haru and I sit down in wooden chairs in front of a large desk.
I ask, “Why did you want to see us?”
“Well, honestly, Mr. and Mrs. Arima…”
“We’re not married.” I let her know.
“Yet,” Haru clarifies.
“I’m sorry, my mistake. I thought you were. You’re such a beautiful couple, and you support Max so much. There isn’t really anything other than good things to say about Max. He does well; he’s on the honor roll. You guys have him at school on time. He’s kind and—a little rough. I did want to ask you about a screening.”
“A screening?” Haru wonders.
“Yes. We think Max is gifted. There’s a screening he needs to go through and some other things. Here’s a pamphlet if you want some more information about the screening and other procedures.” She hands us a brochure.
“Oh, thanks,” Haru says, reaching for the papers.
“Other than that, there’s really nothing else. I have some art for you guys to take home. If you are interested in the screening.”
“What’s the screening for?” Haru asks.
“Developmentally, Max’s cognitive abilities are vastly more developed than his counterpart
s. He gets bored very easily in this environment. I’ve found a few appropriate ways to help him. You know he knows all of his timetables?”
“Yes, I taught him.” I smile proudly.
“Yes, but those are third grade efforts, Max has even surpassed those standards. He’s a child that likes to be academically challenged. I believe advancing him a few grades might help him thrive a bit more.”
“Advancing a few grades?” Haru arches his neck.
“Please consider it.”
I glance at Haru who is speechless, “We will. We’ll let you know.” I smile.
“Thank you. I’m sure Max will appreciate it.
I knew Max was smart but maybe that logical nature is more than just logic.
We talk a bit more, and then Max and a few of his classmates come into the classroom.
“Mom! Dad!” Max says, running up to me and hugging me, then fist bumping Haru.
“You ready, bud?” Haru asks.
“Yeah!” Max says excitedly. “Bye, Ms. Tillman.”
“Bye, Max.” Ms. Tillman smiles.
Max says goodbye to his friends and we head out of the school and back to the house. We don’t say anything to Max about the screening.
“Dad, can we go to the park and play? Can you be a zombie killer again?” Max asks.
Haru glances at me.
“I guess that’s fine, but please be back by dinner. It’s going to be at six, try not to make it seven again.”
“Okay. We get it.” Haru laughs.
“Can we have chicken and rice tonight—easy on the vegetables?” Max asks.
I laugh. “We can have chicken and rice … and vegetables.”
“Fine.” Max shrugs.
Haru parks the car in the driveway of our Missouri home. We’ve been here a while and we haven’t talked about unpacking; we’ve been living out of boxes. It’s different than the old house. It’s a two-story, four-bedroom home. On the top level, Max’s room is at the end of the hallway, then we have a guest bedroom on the other end and in between that is a bathroom. Downstairs there is the living room and dining room, den and down the short hall, the kitchen. It’s bigger than the old one and has dark wood cabinets and a black fridge. There’s an island in the middle with stools, which serves as a kitchen table. We mostly eat in the den together. We have a basement, where Haru keeps all his cool man toys. There is a bedroom and a bathroom at the very front of the house, and Haru’s office. Then our master bedroom is down the hall. Our private bathroom has two separated sinks, a huge hot tub that fits three people comfortably, but only Haru and I use it. On the other side of the bathroom is a Japanese style shower with the linen closet.
