by Land, Alexa
“Doesn’t it crap all over everything?”
“Surprisingly, no. He seems to have a very good sense of when and where he should go to the bathroom.”
Lee stared at the parakeet like it was an alien and jerked back a bit when the bird abruptly flew out through the open doors. Then he said, “I’m beginning to realize this is a pretty unusual resort.”
“It’s home for a lot of us, far more than it’s a business. That’s especially true since we rarely have any guests, although we’ll be close to capacity at the end of the week. My uncle’s business partner rents out the whole place two or three times a year and brings his huge, extended family on vacation. He pays full price, so it’s a nice influx of revenue and very generous of him. As a co-owner, he could obviously stay for free and bring as many guests as he wanted to.” I warmed up my drink with a splash of coffee from the carafe, and after I took a sip, I added, “Speaking of co-owners, I told my uncle this morning that I don’t feel right about accepting a share of this place, and I canceled our appointment with his lawyer.”
“Why don’t you feel right about it?”
I said, “I haven’t been honest with him. He thinks he knows the kind of man I am, and he trusts me. But I’ve been keeping secrets from him, and if he knew the whole truth…well, I doubt he’d look at me the same way.”
“What doesn’t he know about you?”
“That I’m…you know.”
“A prostitute?” When I nodded, he seemed surprised. “Not that I think a lot of sex workers are totally open about it with their families, but I got the impression you and your uncle are really close. You don’t really think he’d judge you for that, do you?”
“I don’t know. He might not, but I don’t want to take the chance. Ren’s the only family I have left, and he means everything to me. He’s practically my dad. He stepped into that role far more than the man who adopted me ever did.”
Lee said, “Is it okay to ask what happened to your biological father?”
“No idea. My birth certificate just says ‘unknown’ where it asks for the father’s name.”
“And your mother?”
“She couldn’t take care of me, so she gave me up when I was almost four. I only have a few vague memories of her and…well, let’s just say from what I remember, it’s a good thing she turned me over to social services.”
“I’m sorry, Beck.”
I tried to shrug it off and murmured, “It was a long time ago,” before taking a sip of coffee.
After a pause, he said, “You don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to, but I’ve always been curious how you became an escort.”
I grinned a little. “That’s such a polite word for it. And it’s kind of a long story. Do you really want to hear it?”
“Only if you’re comfortable with that.”
“It’s actually nice to be able to talk about it with someone. I can really only do that with you and my friend Will. He’s a prostitute, too.” I finished my coffee, turned my gaze to the tablecloth, and said, “It started when I was eighteen, the summer after I graduated from high school. I had a fake ID, and I’d use it to go dancing at this club in West Hollywood. I was working three minimum wage jobs while trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, but on my nights off, I was all about partying and having fun.
“One night while I was at the club, someone offered me fifty dollars for a blow job. At first I said no. But then he offered me a hundred, and that was just so much money to me. Back then, I’d sleep with anyone who asked, so I justified it by telling myself I would have done it anyway. I felt ashamed afterwards, but the guy just treated it like it was no big deal.
“He was really nice to me and made me feel special and desirable, so I let him pay me for sex several more times over the next few weeks. Then he introduced me to some of his friends, who introduced me to a few more people, and so on. Pretty soon, I was making more money than I’d ever imagined. By the end of summer, I’d built a small list of regulars and quit all my part-time jobs.”
I exhaled slowly and continued, “After a few months, I met Will, and he told me about the escort service where he worked. When I found out how much he was making, I got a job there. I worked with them for about a year and learned how they ran their business, and then I set up my own website and went out on my own, because I was tired of people taking a big cut of my income.
“The money was great, but this obviously wasn’t what I wanted to do forever, so I kept trying to find a career that spoke to me. I took different classes, trained to be a barber, and all sorts of other things while I searched for my calling. Meanwhile, I kept turning tricks, until my uncle offered me a job here at the ranch. I’d planned to leave that other life behind, but after a couple of years…well, we really needed the money, so I went back to what I knew.”
I couldn’t look at Lee as I admitted, “I guess I’m pretty messed up or something, because after a while, I stopped feeling ashamed, and…I actually liked being a prostitute. It made me feel desirable and in control of my life. Maybe that sounds warped, but try to see it from my perspective. I was this kid who’d been shuffled around in foster care for years. Nobody ever wanted me, and I started to believe I was worthless. But to my clients, I was something special. It wasn’t just about sex, either. You know that. Spending time with me was valuable to them, to the extent that they were actually willing to pay for it.”
I paused for a few moments, then said, “While the job itself was a positive experience overall, I always hated the way people reacted to it and judged me for it. I learned early on that the truth could cost me people I cared about. When I told my two best friends from high school what I was doing, they acted like I was a freak and totally ghosted me.
“I’ve already lost so many people over the course of my life, including my mom, every foster family I was shuffled in and out of, and my adopted family. You can see why I’m terrified of losing Uncle Ren, too. Plus, even if he doesn’t reject me, he’d probably feel guilty if he finds out how I was making the money to keep this place running.”
Lee asked, “Where does he think it’s been coming from?”
“He doesn’t really know what it costs to run this place, because he never looks at the books. He’s willfully in denial about just how bleak our financial situation is, otherwise the stress would be too much for him. He seems strong when you first meet him, but he’s actually really fragile. You should have seen the way he crumbled when Simon, his last boyfriend, left him. They built Seahorse Ranch together and had their whole future wrapped up in this place. Anyway, I’m getting off the subject. My point is, I haven’t told Ren I was a prostitute, for all those reasons. So, could you please omit that part of our story when you meet him?”
“Of course. I’d never out you to your uncle.” When I glanced at him, he said, “I should mention that I set up a trust fund for you six months ago, in case you’re worried about money now that our business arrangement is over. It’ll keep auto-depositing the same amount into your account once a month for the rest of your life, no matter what.”
I blurted, “You’re kidding.”
“I didn’t know this was where the money was going. Ten grand isn’t enough to keep an entire resort operational, so I’m going to double it. Do you think that will be sufficient, or should it be more?”
“No Lee, I don’t want you to keep paying me!”
“That’s not what this is,” he insisted. “I set up the trust fund because I wanted to take care of you long term, not as payment for services rendered.”
“Why would you do that? Six months ago, I was just some prostitute, and—”
“No. You were never that, Beck. Even right from the start, you were the very best part of my life. You’ve been a wonderful friend, lover, and companion, and while I won’t tell anyone how we met if you don’t want me to, I never thought there was anything wrong with the fact that you were a sex worker. Do you think less of me because I had to pay for y
our time?”
“Not at all, and I think I understand why you chose to visit a prostitute in the first place.”
“I’m curious to hear why you think that is,” he said.
“It put you in control, and that’s vitally important to you.”
He fidgeted with his coffee cup. “You’re going to hate that, now that we’re in a relationship. I’ll try my damnedest to keep it to the bedroom, because you seem to like it there. But my need for control shapes every aspect of my life, and I know that’ll kill our relationship faster than anything if I don’t get a handle on it.”
I reached across the table and took his hand. “I’m a patient man, Lee. I know this is going to be an adjustment for both of us, and I don’t expect you to be perfect. I guarantee I won’t be, either.”
His expression softened. After a moment, he met my gaze and said, “I know I don’t have any right to ask this, and it’ll seem hypocritical after I just told you I’m fine with the fact that you’re a sex worker. But will you please consider retiring from that line of work?”
“It’s funny how carefully you just chose your words,” I said with a smile. “What did you really want to say?”
“That you’re mine, and I will fucking kill any man who touches you. But that made me sound like a caveman, so I thought better of it.”
“Lucky for you, that caveman shit turns me on.” I got up and circled the table, and then I climbed onto his lap and kissed him. “As far as my illustrious career as a prostitute, I retired last night, when I told my only client I was dissolving our business arrangement.”
“Why did you decide to quit?”
“Because I can’t stand the thought of any man besides you fucking me. I belong to you, Lee. You’ll think I’m crazy once you realize how long that’s been true. I mean, what kind of sex worker decides to remain faithful to one of his customers? But that’s exactly what I’ve been doing, and not just because you were paying me so much that I didn’t need to take on any additional clients.”
He grinned and said, “Wow. We both have some serious issues.” I burst out laughing and laced my fingers at the nape of his neck, and he asked, “So, what’s our official story, since we’re not going to tell your family how we really met?”
“We could say you picked me up at a bar in Studio City. That’s not a total lie. We did actually meet in the hotel bar the first time you booked me, before going upstairs and fucking until dawn.”
He teased, “True, and by the way, you’re a terrible businessman. I only paid for two hours, but you gave me nine without charging extra.”
“Either that or I’m brilliant, since it kept you coming back for more.” He nodded, and I said, “Actually, those next seven hours were for me, because you’re sensational in bed. But I really am an awful businessman, which is why I can’t get this place to turn a profit.”
“Just tell me what you need for the ranch, and I’ll make it happen. National advertising, a marketing consultant, a professional management team? Say the word and it’s yours.”
“Thank you for the offer and for being so incredibly generous,” I said, “but I don’t want you to solve all my problems, Lee. I know I have a lot to learn when it comes to running a resort, but I need to believe I can do this on my own. It’s important to me.”
“I understand. But I wish you hadn’t turned down your uncle’s offer for a share of the property. You deserve it.”
“When he first told me he was doing that, I was so excited,” I admitted. “The ranch means the world to me, and owning a piece of it would be a dream come true. But like I said, I just can’t accept it.”
“You feel you’re being dishonest because you can’t tell him you worked as a prostitute, but why is it any of his business, Beck? If you don’t want to share that information with your uncle, it’s your choice. Some things are just private, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I wish I could look at it that way,” I said, “but as long as I feel like I’ve been lying to him, I just don’t feel right about taking a piece of his business. It’s all he has.”
“How did he come to own it in the first place?”
“My uncle ran a very successful tech business in the Silicon Valley, and he sold it for millions. Then he sank a lot of that money into building this place. He spared no expense, as you can probably tell. His wealthy boyfriend contributed too, and when their relationship ended, Ren used most of the money he had left to buy out his ex’s share. It’s bad enough that my uncle had to sell off forty percent of this place to an investor. I’d feel guilty for taking a part of what’s left, since this is literally all he has to show for a nearly two decade career he was proud of.”
“I’m going to play devil’s advocate for a minute,” Lee said. “What if you’re just using the fact that you were a sex worker as an excuse, because you don’t feel worthy of owning a share of this place?”
I broke eye contact and murmured, “Ren built Seahorse Ranch, not me. Why should I get a share?”
“But he doesn’t pay you a salary, right?”
“He would if he could.”
“So, you’ve spent the past few years working here for free, while using your own money to keep the place afloat. Also, you run it more or less singlehandedly, because your uncle can’t or won’t step up for whatever reason. Is that accurate?” When I didn’t respond, he said, “You deserve more than a share of this business, Beck. You deserve the whole goddamn thing. What percentage of the property was he going to give you?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t?”
“It seemed tacky to bring it up. When someone offers you a gift, you don’t ask how valuable it is.”
“But it wasn’t really a gift,” he said. “It was overdue compensation for all you’ve put into this place.”
“That’s more or less what my uncle said.”
“And you still turned it down?”
I murmured, “I’m sorry. You seem frustrated with me.”
He drew me into his arms and said, “The part that’s frustrating is knowing you won’t let me fix this. If it were up to me, I’d buy the property outright and give it to you, and then I’d hire a full staff to give you the support you need. Since you’ll never let me do that, it makes me feel helpless, and that doesn’t sit well with me. At the same time though, I respect the fact that you want to handle this on your own. You’re a good man, Beck.”
“Thank you for saying that.”
He kissed me, then said, “This is me intentionally changing the subject. What would you like to do today? It looks like a beautiful day out there.”
“Won’t you be busy trying to deal with the people who are looking for you?”
“I’ve done all I can for the time being. I made sure my people were safe, I tried to reach out to Theo Harris, the man behind all of this, and I’ve contacted certain individuals I’d hoped might help me,” he said. “Unfortunately, I’ve also let myself become consumed with worry, and that’s the last thing I need. I’ll be attending a meeting in L.A. tomorrow evening to work on resolving this situation, but in the meantime, I just want to enjoy every minute I have with you while I try to relax. So, can we go out and do something fun?”
I sat up and asked, “Definitely. I’d suggest heading into town, but do you think it’s safe for you in Avalon?”
“Sure. There’s no chance anyone would be looking for me there.”
“Are you positive?”
“There’s nothing linking me to Catalina, because the people looking for me don’t know about you. If it’ll make you feel better though, I’ll message Rus and ask him to watch our back when we’re in town. I checked in with him this morning and he’s bored out of his mind, so he’ll probably welcome the distraction.”
I chewed my lip for a moment before saying, “I have to ask, even if it’s none of my business. Why are those people looking for you?”
“Because I took something from them.”
“Rus
told me that part without going into detail. Can you give it back?”
“No. I already returned it to the rightful owners.”
“What was it?”
He picked up his phone from the tabletop and pulled up a photo of a beautiful, gold cross on an altar. “I’m not a particularly religious man, but it rubbed me the wrong way when Harris and his band of idiots stole this from a church outside Madrid, in order to sell it to a private collector. It was disrespectful, and I felt like these men needed to be taught a lesson, so I took it from them and put it back where it belonged. I also bought the church a state-of-the-art security system and hired security guards, so it won’t happen again. It was all too easy, until Harris found out it was me. Now he wants a pound of flesh to make up for being humiliated, not to mention missing out on a hefty payday from the private collector.”
“Is it very valuable?”
“It’s priceless, not just because it’s made of gold and decorated with gemstones, but because of its history. It’s about three hundred years old, and there are stories of miracles surrounding it. Of course, those are just stories. Still though, it doesn’t belong with some unscrupulous, rich bastard who thinks he can have anything he wants.”
I exclaimed, “You did a really good thing, Lee! In fact, you’re—”
“Let me stop you right there. Before you try to say I’m a great guy who was only trying to right a wrong, that’s not accurate. I’m a criminal and occasionally a thief, and I stole back that artifact because of my own arrogance. Outsmarting the man who took it was a game to me. I’m also petty. I hate Theo Harris, and I wanted to make him look like an idiot. There’s nothing heroic about me.”
“It’s still noble,” I insisted. “That other stuff’s just gravy.” He grinned a little, and I asked, “Did you travel to Spain to take it from Harris?”
“I traveled to Burbank. He’d brought it to southern California because the collector lives in Bel Air. Then I sent two of my men to return it and make sure it didn’t get stolen again.”
I smiled at him. “Just when I thought this story was taking an exotic turn, it wound up in Burbank.” In the next instant, we heard a noise in the courtyard, followed by some colorful swearing, and I said, “It sounds like Lorenzo has started working on the fountain, which is our cue to clear out. I have a feeling it’s going to get ugly down there.”
