by Gareth Otton
The collision of Tad’s beam of pure energy and Kuruk’s dreamcatchers was so bright that no one saw what happened next, as anyone looking directly at it were too busy blinking the purple and white spots from their vision and rubbing their eyes. Merged with three ghosts and pulling the strength from three more, Tad’s vision cleared fastest, which was why he saw what remained of Kuruk Campbell first.
He must have met the beam half way between rising from his hands and knees and entering a sprint as the light had entered through his head and travelled down his body, coring out a smoking hole right down the centre of him. There was no doubt in Tad’s mind that he was dead, especially because Tad saw the startled expression on Kuruk’s ghostly face.
The ghost that stood over his body didn’t resemble the man dead at his feet. The tattoos were gone and the battle scars had gone with them. The man that remained looked more like the man in the pictures Tad had found when looking into Kuruk’s past. This was the ghost of the man, not the monster, though when he got over his surprise, his expression once more turned to hate. He glared at Tad like he wanted to kill him, but as a ghost, he was in Tad’s domain. Not only was Tad a Proxy who had been dealing with ghosts his entire life, but he was an animancer, so he had twice the amount of options available to deal with this ghost.
For the first time in his life, he felt a very real temptation to destroy a ghost, not because he had to, but because he could. Even with Joshua King, he had destroyed him because he didn’t see another option, but after everything this man had done over the past year, Tad considered destroying this thing once and for all. The thought of the people this man had killed, the amount of innocent blood on this man’s hands, thoughts of Ryan and Freckles… it was all too much and Tad felt himself reaching for Dream again, ready to annihilate this spirit once and for all.
He was stopped by a touch.
Slender fingers rested on his shoulder, pulling his attention from the advancing ghost towards a young woman who’s eyes were filled with tears as she looked at what had become of her brother.
“Please,” she whispered. “He doesn’t deserve it, but please have mercy.”
The words were whispered, but they washed away Tad’s thoughts of revenge in a tidal wave of shame, making him feel dirty for ever even thinking of obliterating this spirit. He felt sick and knew he was right not to use his power to kill on mass. Tad had it in him to do terrible things, and if he didn’t keep an eye on himself, then one day he might become a bigger monster than even Kuruk.
Blinking away his own tears, he turned back to the ghost who was picking up speed and closing the gap between them, and again Tad reached for his power. This time it wasn’t as an effort to destroy, but to augment the power of that silvery spiderweb that connected every ghost to the next life. Kuruk stopped mid step, his eyes widening in surprise and then horror as he realised what was happening, but it was already too late.
He blurred at the edges as his spirt broke down, condensing into a glowing white ball of light that got smaller and smaller until it was only a firefly that zipped away into the distance, following that near invisible thread until…
Cold washed over Tad.
Not the cold of the winter wind, but the cold of dread, of terror, and of everything that was bad in the world. It was the complete opposite of the warmth that accepted most souls, and to Tad’s mind, it couldn’t be gone quick enough.
The sound of running footsteps broke Tad out of the spell of that horrible feeling, and he gritted his teeth against the pain in his shoulder so that he could better sit up and see who was rushing at him. Part of his brain was terrified to think that it was someone else coming to kill him, but that was soon put to rest as Stella was right in front of him, crowding him out as she forced him back down and examined his injuries.
“Don’t move, you idiot,” she snapped. She sounded angry, but when he looked at her aura, he saw only the ghostly white of fear. “Oh my god, Tad, these are so bad. What are you still doing here? You need to get to Jen right now.”
“Tony and the ghosts are helping,” Tad disagreed, not wanting to put Jen through the trauma of having to heal her own dad. She’d been through enough already and didn’t need to see him like this.
“This isn’t an argument Tad, we need… Growler, enough, give me some space.”
Unlike Stella, Tad was pleased to see his giant friend as last time he’d seen him he’d just taken a super powered punch from Kuruk. Thankfully, he looked to be in good health and right now he just wanted to come in close and sniff at Tad’s wounds, as though to make sure for himself that Tad would live through this.
“I said give me space,” Stella ordered, pushing the giant dog away before turning back to Tad. With an angry scowl, she opened her mouth to force him to do as she wanted, but the words never had chance to come out.
“Uh… guys. I don’t want to interrupt but…”
Mitena’s words trailed off, but the note of worry in her voice was more than enough for Tad to look away from Stella to see what she was talking about.
The momentary blindness that affected the vast majority of the surrounding crowd was fading, and as the hundreds of people who had accompanied Kuruk here saw what was left of their leader, the confusion on their face was turning to something much darker. Tad suddenly remembered that just because he had killed Kuruk and Elias was dead, this was far from over.
“Shit,” he hissed as once again he called to Dream, securing a connection to as many ghosts as he could while he threw up a shield to protect everyone around him. No sooner was it up when it came under attack as soldiers started firing guns at them and Kuruk’s people used a variety of dreamcatcher powered attacks to penetrate the shield. Fire attacked it but was deflected, the same kaleidoscopic trick Kuruk used earlier stopped the lasers, and all physical attacks were rebuffed. On all fronts they failed, but even with the strength Tad got from the extra ghosts, he couldn’t keep this up forever.
“We need to get out of here,” Stella said. “You need to get to Jen.”
“We’re not the only people here, Stella,” Tad pointed out. “I can protect us right now, but what about the soldiers we brought with us, or Brad and his people? What about—”
“They’ll have to do what they can without us while we get you fixed up, then me and Leon will come back to—”
“There’s too many of them. You need my help,” Tad protested.
“And what are you going to do?” Stella demanded. “You going to kill them all? Because that’s what you would have to do to end this.”
Tad, let me out, Tony suddenly pressed, pushing against his internal senses in such a familiar way that Tad didn’t even think why Tony might want out before letting the ghost go.
The familiar sight of steam lifted from his skin and instantly he felt the loss of his connection to Tony in the form of weariness and the increase of pain from his wounds, but he was connected to enough ghosts right now that he was hardly crippled by that fact.
Tony’s ghost formed facing him, and there was an expression on his face that chilled Tad for some reason. The ghost was smiling at him, but it was not the cocky smile Tad was used to, nor was it mocking, or teasing, or playful, nor anything else Tad usually associated with his ghost. Instead, it was a warm, friendly smile that looked far too peaceful for their situation.
“This was always going to happen, mate, we both know it,” he said, and Tad’s blood turned cold at the tone of his words. “We also both know how to end this. You’ve always known if you’re honest with yourself, but you never wanted to admit it.”
Knowledge that wasn’t his own flashed through Tad’s mind as he accessed Tony’s memories, and the shield flickered as his attention slipped. He only just caught it in time, but it was a struggle to keep his mind focused now that he knew what Tony was talking about.
“No, Tony. This isn’t the way to do this. We can think of something else.”
“What the hell are you both talking about?” Stella de
manded, but Tad’s attention was focused on his ghost and Tony didn’t look like he was in the mood to answer either of them.
“I didn’t think it would come to this, but I don’t regret it,” Tony said. “It’s been a hell of a ride, mate. The last 15 years… they’ve been the best of my life. Living with you, with Jen… You guys are the best family I could have asked for and given the chance to do it all over I don’t think I’d do any different.”
“Tony, no,” Tad tried to protest. “I won’t let you do this.”
“Not even you can stop me this time, mate. Besides, it’s the right thing to do and we both know that there’s no better way.”
“We can use someone else to—”
“Nah,” Tony waved him off. “We both know that won’t work. Timing’s going to be everything on this. And besides, you’d need a dreamwalker or another ghost whose been here as long as I have to make this work. Anyone else isn’t going to give you the right kind of opportunity.”
“What the hell are you two talking about?” Stella asked again, but her tone was no longer as angry as it had been. She may not know what they were talking about, but she hardly had to use her powers to read between the lines.
Tony turned his smile on her, but again didn’t answer the question she asked.
“You’re going to have to keep a closer eye on him. God knows he can’t look after himself, and he needs someone around to keep him out of trouble.” Turning to Growler he added, “You too, big guy. Watch them both for me.”
The large dog took a step forward and nudged Tony with his head as though in answer, and Tony turned his attention back to Tad.
“Say goodbye to Jen for me. I wish I could have said it myself but…” His smile finally faltered a little as his voice broke, but then with a deep breath, he caught himself and tried again. “Just tell her I love her. You’ll also have to tell Amber I’m going to need to take a rain-check… she’ll understand.”
Suddenly his smile turned into a more familiar grin and he said, “She actually wanted to go on a date with me. Can you believe that? After all these years…”
His words trailed off as he shook his head in wonder, then he glanced over his shoulder at the crowds of people still fighting to get at them.
“Remember Tad, you’re not Joshua King. You’re doing this for the right reasons. It’s the only way to truly fix this once and for all. Hold on to that thought and stay strong.”
“Tony, you don’t have to do this,” Tad tried one last time.
Tony ignored him and took a step forward, offering his hand for Tad to shake.
“It’s well past my time, and we both know it. I’m not Charles. I was never going to stick around forever. You gave me fifteen amazing years. I can’t ask for more. Besides, this is the only way. I couldn’t live with myself if it came at the cost of ending this war and all the other ones that might follow. This is the right choice mate, we both know it.”
Again Tad struggled to sit up, this time fighting through his pain and ignoring his inability to breathe deeply as he struggled first to his knees and then to his feet. Ignoring Tony’s hand, he pulled his ghost into a hug.
“I’ll miss you so much,” Tad said, struggling to get the words past the lump in his throat.
Tony sniffed as he was giving in to his own tears and said, “Same here, mate. Love you buddy. Do me a favour, make the most of this.”
And then all at once, as if waiting even a second longer would make him lose his nerve, Tad felt Tony relax in a way he never had before. He finally gave in the fight, and let the pull of the next life take him.
His familiar form lost its shape and dissolved into mist, and for the second time in his life, time truly stopped for Tad.
43
Saturday, 31st December 2016
23:17
Just as it had in the moment that Charles moved on, time stopped as Tad’s brain spun into overdrive to process what was happening. Part of that might have been him pulling over Dream to share what felt like just a few minutes longer in the presence of one of his oldest friends, while another part was a piece of Tad’s soul being torn away.
It was the cost of Proxying and what created the bond between a Proxy and his ghost. Their souls merged, sharing memories, knowledge and talents, and when they parted, they took a little piece of each other with them. Left long enough and those fragments would disentangle themselves to return to the source, which is why Tad lost access to the knowledge and talents of his ghosts after enough time without them. However, merge with a ghost long enough, and the piece of your soul that you share with the ghost becomes bigger over time. Therefore, there was more of his soul to lose when his ghost moved on, taking that fragment with it.
It was the most intimate bond Tad could ever think of sharing with another being, and it was a high cost to pay. But he had paid it willingly all his life and even now, as a gaping emptiness was consuming a part of his mind and heart that had once been full, he couldn’t bring himself to regret it.
That wasn’t to say that it didn’t hurt, though. It was agony, both emotionally and physically. Besides Charles, Tony had been with him longest of all his ghosts and if losing Charles had been like kicking away one crutch, losing Tony was like forcing him to stand under his own power long before he was ready. His ghost hadn’t even finished condensing into the white light that would speed away to the next life yet and already Tad was questioning how he could keep going without him.
What made the whole thing worse was that Tad knew Tony had made this sacrifice specifically for him. It was all to give him a chance to end this war without needing to get his hands dirty. But even then, this alternative choice was far from easy, and neither was it a guarantee of success. It would require changing the world again, and this wouldn’t be like the Merging. This time, the scale would be considerably larger, and he would no longer have the safety net of using ignorance as an excuse. He must act knowing exactly what he was about to do, and there were a lot of people who would hate him for even considering this.
Images flashed through his mind of his life should he survive this. He might end this war, but the cost would be enormous. Many people would never forgive him him, and would hunt him for the rest of his life. Deep down he had been hoping that once this war was settled, his fame might die down, people would stop hounding him, and he might be able to rest for at least a little while. If he did this, there would never be any chance of that.
Just the thought of it was almost too much. He was so tired of fighting, tired of the endless tension and worry that accompanied the knowledge that there were people in the world that would not rest until he was dead and everything he loved was gone with him. Faced with that, how could he possibly proceed?
However, even in this glacial moment, time had not stopped completely. Tony’s soul was becoming more intense and pulling Tad’s attention as the moment of its departure was at hand.
Looking at that light, Tad was consumed again with thoughts of his ghost, of the sacrifice he had made so that Tad could have this decision. Tony had always been the most selfish of his ghosts, a consequence of him being perpetually trapped in the body and mindset of a fourteen-year-old boy. For him of all people to make this ultimate sacrifice humbled Tad. In the face of that sacrifice, how could he consider any action that might dishonour Tony’s decision.
Tad started shutting out his emotions. He could deal with Tony’s death later. Right now he had made his decision and if he was to honour Tony’s sacrifice, he had to focus on what came next. The memory of Tony’s plan was still fresh in his mind, and Tony had been right. Tad had considered this before, though he never let himself think about it for long. Partly that was because he didn’t want things to come to this, but it was because he didn’t know if it was even possible.
He was about to find out.
He prepared a technique he had only known how to use for a couple of days. In many ways it was like a beginner musician being handed a masterpiece and told to play it
, but Tad had no choice but to try. He started the trick of splitting his concentration into multiple focal points that he cast out into the world like fishing lines. His dreamwalker senses told him that there were hundreds of ghosts in the area, a result of the chaos of the battle, and if this was to work, Tad needed to as many of these ghosts on his side as possible.
In order to do that, he baited these fishing lines with an idea. It was the concept of what he wanted their power for, and a plea that they give it without fighting because they might just be able to help him stop this war without further bloodshed.
In the space of a heartbeat, hundreds of fishing lines were cast, and those ideas had taken hold. Many people, mainly the ghosts of Kuruk’s fallen soldiers, hated the idea of what he was trying to do and cast that line aside. However, just as many accepted, and not just from the British side. Outside of Kuruk’s people and the eidolon in power, this was not a war anyone wanted, and the idea of ending that without further bloodshed was one everyone could get on board with.
Unfortunately, Tad was new with this skill, so he failed to maintain all the connections. He kept hold of twenty, and the massive impact of those connections made him question how he could ever need more. Each new ghost doubled his ability to pull over Dream. Connecting to twenty was like over a million dreamwalkers working together. It was overwhelming, and Tad’s mind reeled under the pressure, almost losing his grip on his connection to those ghosts. Only his iron will to not let Tony down let him hang on, but it was like holding fishing lines greased with oil. One slight tug and there would be nothing he could do.
Tad wanted to take a second to catch his breath, to get a better hold on these connections and come to terms with what he was about to do, but time waited for no man, not even a dreamwalker, and Tony’s soul had finally condensed to the point where it was about to shoot along the spider web that would take it on to the next life.
