by Richard Dusk
"Yes," they answered both, but it will never be a satisfying reply to him regardless of the way they say it. The only thing he knew for sure was that it's working somehow. Any unexpected error may turn the outcome of the trip into a disaster.
"Call the guys and load it," Garrett began unplugging the cables.
"Got it," Vivian walked to the intercom.
"Why did you yell at Sarah? No one here dares to do that," said Arthur.
Garrett didn't want to analyze it and continued avoiding his eyes.
"I flared up. The stress is overwhelming."
"Garrett, look at the bright side. If you'll foul-up, it doesn't matter. Sooner or later, we're dead anyway."
The room went silent. Vivian stopped talking and gazed at him, and Garrett raised his eyebrows. Arthur stood there for a while until his eyes widened when he realized what he said. Garrett stood up, smiled, and tapped his shoulder.
"Thanks, Arthur."
"Wait, I didn't mean-"
"I know exactly what you've meant," Garrett looked straight into his eyes. "That's why I'm saying thanks," he said and went looking for Jillian to apologize for his morning words.
Chapter 16 Battle Cry
The time of their last day spent in Nest passed exceptionally quickly. Only a few hours ago, Garrett performed the single one testing of CHED's final version, and now it waited for them loaded inside Deimos. The crew stood amazed and surprised when they saw it for the first time, and even more when they found out that the device of this size set the entire base in motion. They were all curious about it, except Kaiden, who showed up at the last minute, right before departure.
"Listen up! You've had swanky dinner, and here comes your showtime," shouted Kaiden, walking along the lined up squad.
They stood dressed in the same pure black waterproof facility gear with inbuilt ability to adjust to different environments. The camo pattern changed according to temperature, humidity, and luminosity data received from microchips, and uniforms wore distinct Diamond symbol and Diamond Corp. writing below. Vests, firmly fastened by straps on each side to their bodies, carried two single bags. The front side had three pockets filled with hand-sized medkits and spare magazines. Garrett checked by sight his and Jillian's pistols in holsters and flashlights buckled to their thighs, and examined the assault rifles in the hands of the others, as they two didn't get any. Sharp-shaped black guns wore a unique color that changed the same as their clothes to make the equipment perfectly adaptable to the environment. They could undetectably blend with scenery and become invisible.
"I'm dying in this," whispered Jillian, covered in sweat.
Lex grabbed her wrist and tapped through settings on the PCA screen. The moment she released her arm, Jillian felt chilling relief, the same as when Lizzie did it.
"They could give you some training with this. There are many features inbuilt in this gear, including cooling and heating circuit. I've changed it to automatic mode, but you can adjust it whenever you like to," said Lex, and Jillian quietly thanked her.
"Radio check," called out Kaiden.
"Here," said Lex to Garrett and Jillian, who watched others.
She unzipped her sleeve at the wrist and took out an earbud on a clip that she hitched on the right ear and turned the set on.
"You've got the microphone integrated into the collar. It can recognize even your whispering from background noise, so you don't have to be afraid of not being heard," said Lex and began talking.
They did the same and turned on the microphones, talking to themselves and others.
"Okay, everybody. We're ready. This is the chance you've been waiting for all the time," Kaiden walked along the line again. He looked meaningfully at every one of them. "There's a damned mission ahead of us in a hostile world you wouldn't ever dare to dream about. It will be tough and unfair, with no excuse for anyone. We are the only five, here and now, who can and will accomplish this task and keep these two alive out there. And Heavens above me knows that whether alive or dying in our blood, we'll do everything to see this finished."
Everyone quietly stood and listened to his words.
"We are soldiers! We are fighters! We never step back, and we never lose. We fight till the last man standing. You are the best-trained I've got to protect everything this world ever cared about. You promised, dying of exertion, lying in your sweat, to be the shield for this corporation when others come to claim it. You promised, crying in pain, to protect your mates until the very last breath leaves your stiffed body. You promised, tied up and drowning in freezing water, to be the man of his word till the last beat of your heart. Now I ask you to keep that word! I believe there's a hell good reason that every one of you is standing here. And I believe there's no pantywaist seeking mother's skirt among us."
"No!" rang out around.
"Good, now pick up your asses and do your job."
"Yeah," yelled Pace, and Hodge whistled.
Garrett and Jillian watched this scene with risen eyebrows. Sudden sarcastic clapping sounded from the doors behind them. Lizzie, with her distinct messy hair, stood there alone in the white lab coat.
"Marvelous speech," Lizzie slowly walked closer.
"Doctor?" said Kaiden surprised with her presence and cynical words. "We don't have time for this. We're leaving."
"Oh, come on. I just want to say a proper goodbye to them," she moved to the left side of the row while Pace and Hodge followed Kaiden and got in Menhit. Lizzie walked to Vince and hugged him.
"Promise me to bring them back. All of them. And remember our deal," she whispered to his ear and looked at him imploringly.
"I promise. I'm still in your debt."
She let him and came to Lex, who seemed moved by Lizzie's need to say goodbye to them.
"I never want to see another wound on your body, Amy," Lizzie's eyes traveled to the side of Lex's head. "It's still a miracle to me that you survived it. Don't throw that luck away."
"Thank you for everything, Liz. We are not seeing each other for the last time," she hugged her firmly.
Lex didn't want to let her go, but Kaiden's noticeable coughing forced her to release tight embrace. She looked the last time at Lizzie and walked with Vince to Deimos. Lizzie watched them all the way, and then she turned to Jillian.
"Will you keep an eye on Garrett, won't you?" she hugged her.
"Of course," she tapped her back to comfort her. "I'll do anything for him," she said, and Lizzie stroke her cheek.
"Garrett," Lizzie said with a loud sigh and hugged him, "whatever you'll find there, don't let it take you away."
"Whatever there is, Lizzie, it won't stand a chance against us," he smelled the fragrance of blueberry chocolate coming from her hair.
They both know that there is the highest chance of the exact opposite, but neither of them had the heart to say it.
"I wish you never to lose your faith," she smiled sadly at him, and with small steps, she walked back to the door.
"Squad, let's move," ordered Kaiden. He shut the back door on Menhit, and engines roared.
Jillian moved to get in Deimos, but Garrett ignored them. He watched Lizzie standing aside with red eyes and crumbling wet handkerchief. Something inside forced him to stay. He didn't want just to walk away, nor he didn't want to watch her disappear behind shutting doors.
"Lizzie, come here," Garrett waved at her to come closer.
At first, she shook her head, but when he walked to her, she came closer with unsteady steps while her knees buckled.
"I don't know why, but it's terrible to leave you. I feel like I didn't thank you for everything as much as you deserve. Take care of yourself, okay?" he stroke her hand.
"I will," she hugged him again. Her arms held him tight while she laid her head on his shoulder. "Garrett," she whispered, "please, come back. You left once, I don't want to see it happen again."
"I promise you that when we see each other again, the world will be different," he said even though he wished for better
words.
Lizzie hiccupped and sniffed. She raised her head and looked with her beautiful green eyes right into his soul.
"I wanted to-" she began, but her throat lumped.
Any words she forced to come out of her mouth remained stuck in her dry throat. The urge to tell him burned all over her body. Her heart pounded violently, forcing her to do anything, but her limbs stiffened. She bounced from side to side in slowed time, powerless against her own will. Her brain got mesmerized with earsplitting silence inside her head while the single vibrant thought floated all across her mind, beating the white skull bones. The world around ceased to exist. Everyone disappeared for her. She perceived nothing more than Garrett surrounded by distant colors. Butterflies, with red lining and white waves on spring-green wings, flew out from her belly and died as tears in her eyes.
"I-," she tried again, but her voice cracked again.
She knew her body will betray her, and she remained silent. Smile she gave to Garrett was the smile that comes only a few times in life. She kissed him lightly on a cheek, leaving a wet mark of her tears. Garrett, scared of hurting her, didn't know what to do. His hand slowly moved to her face and lightly caressed her.
"I'll return," he said resolutely.
She was a beautiful woman. Her flushed pale face and unhealed bruises couldn't take away the softness of her skin. Minor bloody dots of fading petechiae in her vibrant eyes and circles around them had no power to shade the life they overflowed with. Garrett saw her eyes were the one and only, but didn't understand the look behind them until now when he has to leave her. She nodded, smiling through tears, and grabbed his hands. They looked last time into each other's eyes to make themselves believe that this is not the last time in this life when they're fingers joined.
"Please, go," she whispered and released him.
With painful effort, Garrett turned around and walked to the waiting crew. Right at the doors, he stopped and took the last look at her. Now he knew that there is somebody whose heart might be beating for him. He shut the door, and both crews rode in the tunnel to face their fate outside.
Chapter 17 Midnight Assault
Headlights of two armored vehicles driving down the empty road pierced through the darkness veiling the silent world. Surrounded by dense, leafless forest, they saw a narrow line of the full moon night sky, lighted with an infinity of stars. Dust, now whirling only under the wheels, set two days ago and allowed the air to clear. Vince, sitting behind the steering wheel, had eyes focused on the back doors of Menhit driving ahead of them. He went in his head through all tasks they're going to complete. Lex, by his right, observed stars and imagined lines connecting the glittering dots. Jillian lay on a bench in the back, right opposite to Garrett, who examined parts of CHED.
"Jill, come here," Lex moved a bit to let Jillian sit with her on the seat. "Take a look."
"What?" she said when she got next to her, but Lex only pointed with a finger to the sky.
Jillian looked up at the bright lights and stared in amazement. She has never seen this many stars at a time above her head. Throughout the last year, clouds shielded the sky nearly every night. She rarely slept outside on the open because of the dust in the air, but when she had to, she lay huddled in the sleeping bag with a shirt covering her face.
"Is it what I think it is?" Jillian pressed herself closer to the windshield, enjoying the pleasant sight at a speckled band that was always lost in the glow of cities.
It reminded a passage through the sky into open space, made of millions of tiny white dots of light and halos of glowing history; the journey to heavens where dwells the undying love of every astronomer and stargazer since the beginning of the human race.
"Is it Milky Way?" she couldn't take her eyes from the sky, and Lex nodded.
"Yes, there are still some cool things in this world. I've almost forgotten how it looks. I've spent too much time buried inside Nest."
"It is equally beautiful and sad," said Jillian.
"Why?"
"There are billions of stars, and they may not even exist anymore, born long before anything on this planet. Imagine the distance that always ruled between them. If they could speak, they would never get an answer. They are like people used to be. Forlorn in the overcrowded city. Yes, they appear to be close to each other, but only they know they are forever alone. If any of them dies, then only the light will remind that they existed once. It's the same as light captured on photos - it will fade away with time."
"We should fetch you a robe. You sound like a guy from a monastery," Lex chuckled.
"Because I've heard such guy saying these words. What do you see there?" Jillian turned to Lex, wondering if she's not the only one who still likes to fantasize.
"When I look up there, I realize how small I am, but at the same time, I'm happy because I'm not that small," her eyes watched Vince.
"Oh, cool," said Jillian.
"Did you know that when a star dies and explodes, its remains disperse across the universe? They travel millions of light-years without destination and in all directions and land on some planet. The dust and fragments, the insides of giant stars, could spread into emptiness, but they come and fall on the Earth every day and carry the same elements as you're built of. The star came to continue its life with yours. It never dies and stays with you until the end of your days. You're bonded with the universe and everything that exists within. Whether good or bad. You are small and big at the same time. It's simple."
"That's amazing," said Jillian and looked again out of the window at the stars flying millions of miles away in solitude through vast, lifeless space as vivid, shining marks of life.
"That's my sign over there," Lex laid her stretched arm on Jillian's shoulder and pointed with a forefinger.
Jillian moved her eyes all across the sky but didn't see the constellation.
"Look. The blue-white star. See?" Lex pressed a finger on the windshield. "It's King's star - Regulus. The brightest star in the constellation. It's the heart of the lion. His biggest strength but also his biggest weakness. The five stars above making the sickle, see? They form his head and mighty mane," she moved her finger, leaving a smudge on the glass. "And the triangle on the left is his strong haunch. He is looking to the east. It's said that at dawn he always awaits the God of a Day to greet him."
"How do you know that? Tell me more."
"Girls, enough of this raving. We're on a mission, not on a school trip," said Vince.
"Vince, come on. You guys never talk about this stuff. Hey, Garrett, come here. You should also take a look," said Lex, but he didn't hear her.
The voice in his head captured his mind again. Garrett's right hand shivered on his thigh as if he furiously wrote replies into his lost jotter.
'You are a man that deserves nothing. No kind words, no friendly touches, or a warm kiss. Nothing. You don't even deserve to be called a man,' said voice hatefully. 'You're a pathetic excuse for a living existence that just can't let go of its miserable life. You're keeping yourself alive only because you are too weak to end it. End the reason why people around you suffer! There is a woman who cares about you, and you almost left with a handshake. Who are you? How dare you to play with the lives and feelings of the others like you were somebody high above them? The king whose deeds were only to let his daughter be killed on his own eyes while he convulsed in chains. You call that a fight for her life? If you truly loved her, you would break your thumbs to release yourself from those shackles. But you didn't. How can you stand straight and look at yourself in the mirror? You-'
"Garrett," Jillian interrupted the poisonous voice.
She sat next to his slouched figure and grabbed his left hand clenching something in the fist, "Is everything okay?"
"Yes, it's just too much to handle."
"Yet you are still here," said Jillian. "What's going on?"
Garrett took her by the wrist and laid something on her opened hand. By simple touch, she couldn't recognize the lightwei
ght object but sensed a smooth and warm surface. She felt a thin chain coiling on her palm. When Garrett moved his hand away, a heart-shaped locket revealed, made of light brown linden wood with lines of growth rings. A violet-black amethyst in pear cut shape gleamed embedded in the middle above engraved silver writing Just three words... A gold arrow pierced the heart, sinking in the back and coming out in front. Little silver rose petals finely covered the wound. The locket looked surprisingly shiny and very well treated with no scratches or chips. Jillian tried to open it, but it was locked.
"You've got to pull the fletching."
Jillian carefully pulled the rear end of the arrow, and a soft click sounded. She opened the locket and froze for a minute, watching Garrett smiling with a little ten-year-old girl in his arms. Auburn hair, amber eyes, and a broad happy child smile.
"Yes, you look like her," said Garrett looking at the locket with crossed arms.
Jillian stared in disbelief at her younger self, not believing the odds. Now, all that happened in the first days after they met began to make a little sense. Mainly the protection and words that he saw in her something he knew a long ago.
"This is probably the most beautiful one I've ever seen," she avoided the talk about the photo. Her fingers ran all over the locket.
"A gift for Alice," said Garrett. "I gave it to her the night Sophie was born. Now it's all that left me."
"What happened to them?" she expected Garrett to shake his head again. It struck her eyes that he didn't want to talk about it.
"I'm sorry. You don't have to," she squeezed his hand with both hers.
"It's my fault. Everything that happened is my fault. I failed horribly. I can't look at my face in the mirror. I see only a man who betrayed the trust of the closest people around him. They counted on me, and I failed. My head is torturing me, and my soul hates me," the tremble in his voice gradually increased.
