Terror was being dumped in orphanages, then being tossed into foster homes where no one gave a shit about you.
Trembling and terrified that I’d hurt Louisa, when that hadn’t been my intent, I sneaked out. It shamed me to run, but what would they do to me?
Would they send me to juvie?
I didn’t want to go there.
I wouldn’t be able to swim.
And Adam?
I’d never see him again.
My heart was quivering in my chest as I slipped into my room, pushing my back to the door in an effort to ward off anything that might try to come inside.
Slowly, I sank to the ground, slipping until I was in a crouch. But when I did, when my body collapsed in on itself, my forehead brushing my knees, I sagged.
The cold came.
Loading me with a chill so intense that I knew this was the kind of cold that could kill a person.
Here I was, early spring in a sweltered Boston, and I felt like I was in the middle of a snowstorm in Montana.
Knowing that if I lay here, I could freeze without a blanket, I crawled to the bed. It hurt. My hands ached, my bones throbbed with the chill permeating me, and I just felt like I was one big, throbbing ball of snow.
Getting onto the bed was a nightmare, but when I achieved it, I cuddled up against the covers, drawing the duvet around me so it sheltered me from the coming storm, and then, I passed out.
THEA
When Lori slapped my back, I squinted up at her. “What?”
“Time to get up.”
I huffed. “Fuck that. Coach said I can sleep in today.” I highly resented that we were sharing a room, mostly because she was a morning person and I totally wasn’t. Years of getting up early, of training, hadn’t changed who I was by nature.
I loved the night, but unfortunately for me, pools closed then, and coaches refused to work at two in the morning. It was, in my opinion, very short-sighted of them.
“I want to go out.”
I huffed again. “Then go out.”
“I want to go out with you,” she clarified, and I grabbed my second pillow and covered my face with it by way of an answer, which she instantly heaved out of my hands and hit me over the head with.
“Where to? Can’t you go alone?” I whined. Seriously, there was one day every three weeks where Coach let me rest on the regular, and that he was giving me today for a rest was a minor miracle.
“Alone? In a foreign city? In a country where I don’t speak the language?” She gave a mock gasp. “You’d be so cruel as to let me go out there alone?”
“It’s Tokyo,” I pointed out dryly, “not downtown Venus. I think you can manage.”
“Well, I don’t. Anyway, it’s more fun when we’re together. Remember London? We had an epic time.”
I winced because she wasn’t wrong. London had been epic. Blowing out a breath, I twisted around in bed and glared at her. “Couldn’t we have gone out later?”
“Are you seriously still moaning?”
My lips twitched, but with another huff, I clambered out of bed, trudged over to the set of drawers I’d claimed as my own, grabbed some clothes, then headed into the shower. There was no point in waiting around, not when Lori had somewhere in mind—which she did. I knew her well enough to know that. These trips of hers were always meticulously planned.
When I was feeling a little more alive and cleaner, I dressed and headed out after simply brushing through my hair. I didn’t bother wearing it up, just let it swing loose down my back. I wore tiny Creole earrings, no other jewelry, a pair of slim-fitted tailored shorts, and a white tee with navy sandals.
When Lori studied me like I had egg on my face, I scowled at her. “What’s wrong?”
“How do you do that?”
I blinked. “Do what?”
“Go in there a vagrant and come out looking like a supermodel.”
“Isn’t that what everyone does?” I dismissed.
She snorted. “Nope. Look at you.” A grunt escaped her. “It’s a good thing we’re friends.”
My lips curved as I grabbed my purse. “I wouldn’t have said that fifteen minutes ago.”
Snickering, she looped her arm through mine and muttered, “Come on, let’s break free for a little while.”
“I have to be back in the pool by three.”
“I know.”
“You planned this around my schedule?” I groaned as we headed out of the bedroom and into the hall. “What takes so much organization?”
“Nothing. We’re just going shopping.”
“This gets worse,” I grumbled, but I stopped complaining when she shoved me in the side.
As we left the dorms where the team was staying, I released a sigh when I saw an Uber waiting on us. As we settled in, the driver nodded at us, then set off.
When her phone pinged, I wasn’t surprised when her focus was pinned on the message she received, and I left her to it, leaning my arm against the rest and staring out into the city as we passed it by.
There was nowhere like it, I thought. A merging of old and new, but done in a respectful way that pleased the eye, even if some of the ads were gaudy as hell.
I didn’t understand any of the signs, of course, but when I pulled up Google Maps on my phone, I managed to trace our destination because there was a park I’d love to visit in the future. It was filled with what I assumed were cherry blossoms, and there were rolling lawns that had clusters of people partaking in Tai Chi on their glorious expanses. Flat-topped trees were spotted here and there, and they reminded me of Bonsai trees but on a massive scale. Maybe they even were—I was no gardener, that was for sure, but I could see how, in summer, they’d be great for shade and having a nap beneath.
The clusters of native bushes and trees around the park hid most of it from sight, but I managed to catch a glimpse of water and I determined that I’d visit Shinjuku Gyo-en again—on my own though. Lori and nature didn’t get on well.
When it seemed certain that we were driving toward Shinjuku, which was the biggest district nearby, I did a quick Google search, and groaned at the sight of it. Shops galore.
A nightmare that was confirmed when we climbed out onto already packed streets and I peered around, staring at gleaming buildings that scraped the skies and a million and one signs in a thousand colors, all advertising something I couldn’t understand. The big names, however, I did, and I wasn’t surprised when Lori dragged me into Gucci.
I felt like a duck out of water here, so I trudged after her. Lori hadn’t needed a scholarship to get into Stanford, she had a credit card with a limit on it that was more than I’d earn in a year, and she wasn’t afraid to spend it.
She was, however, generous too. It was one of the reasons I liked her. Not because she usually bought me shit—I never wanted it, even if it was kind of her—but because she thought of others. She could have been an arrogant snob, but she wasn’t.
Somehow.
When she tried on a dress that, I swear to God, made her look like a walking envelope, I muttered, “I can’t believe you didn’t feed me before you dragged me out here.”
She stopped staring at her ass in the mirror, because she knew she couldn’t ask me if it looked big—it didn’t, nothing did. It couldn’t when your ass was tiny, but Jonas, her prick of an ex, had told her she was fat.
I wasn’t even sure if that was possible, considering how strictly we controlled our intake and how much we exercised.
“Sorry,” she said with a wince, frozen in the mirror as she peered guiltily at me over her shoulder.
I laughed a little at her sheepish expression, then told her, “Carry on trying the stuff you’ve got, but then I demand matcha.”
I loved matcha and had yet to have it since we’d landed, which was a travesty.
Lori bought a couple of dresses that were eye-poppingly expensive, then we wandered out into the manic street. There were so many people that it was easy to feel a little claustrophobic, and with all the
funky lights and signs, it was definitely hard on the senses. I wasn’t scared because if we got separated, we could each hail an Uber, but still, I stuck close to her.
Even if I groused, “Are you shitting me?” when she dragged me into this out of the way nook just off the street.
“Haven’t you heard about this place?”
“Heard about what?” I demanded, peering around. “They’re all vending machines.”
“Exactly! Japan is famous for them.”
I squinted at her. “You’re being serious.”
“Deadly.”
“You want me to eat breakfast from a vending machine.”
She grinned. “Where’s your sense of adventure?”
“I left it back in bed.”
“I’m buying,” she retorted, ignoring me and my grouchiness. Hell, sue me. It was way too early for whatever she was about to buy. Even though I’d traveled all over the world, I’d never gotten used to things like noodles or curries for breakfast.
I figured that was what came from existing off egg white omelets for years on end.
When she returned with bottles of stuff I’d watched her scan with her phone to read the translation, then more packets of food than Coach would thank us for, I shuffled over to one of the small tables in the nook.
There were three tables to about nineteen vending machines—I’d never seen anything like it. Just wall after wall of them, each containing so many options I had no idea where to start. The white-tiled floor and walls were spotlessly clean, and the stainless steel tables were chilly against my ass and back. Considering I’d worked up a little sweat in the humid air outside, I considered that a boon.
As she started dishing out her spoils, I grabbed a bottle of what looked like cold milk tea. Claiming it as my own, I popped the seal and took a deep sip. It was sugary as hell, but damn good nonetheless.
As she broke into a bar of what looked like granola, she muttered, “Jonas texted me.”
“He’s a dick,” I stated flatly, not even bothering to say anymore—she knew my opinion of him.
“I know he is.”
“So why did you bring him up?” Because she wanted to be convinced to avoid him.
This, I suddenly realized, was why she’d wanted to go shopping.
I never bullshitted her or shot hot air up her ass, so she liked to use me as a sounding board.
“Because I still have feelings for him,” she mumbled, her gaze on the strange green bar she was chewing on. It looked pretty gross until she snapped some off for me and I took a hesitant bite.
“Oh, that’s good,” I muttered, chomping down hard on what was some kind of sesame brittle, only it was green.
“There’s the matcha you’ve been moaning for,” she muttered dryly, making me roll my eyes.
“If you have feelings for him, then be with him.”
Lori pulled a face at my tactic. “He’s wrong for me.”
“Yes, he is. But you want him. So be with him.”
“He calls me fat.” She hunched her shoulders. “Made me feel bad for training so much—”
“Which really makes no sense. You’d think he’d want you to train, wouldn’t you? If you’re so fat, I mean.”
“Not helping, Thea!” she barked at me.
I grinned at her, unrepentant, but then I sobered up. “Lori, you’re beautiful. Your ass is gorgeous. Your body is a machine that has helped you reach a competitive level few dare to dream of… and you care what that dick says? A dick that resents anything you do that doesn’t revolve around him?”
She blinked. “You’re right.”
“I know I am,” I muttered.
Leaving her to think about that for a second, I grabbed my phone and checked to make sure Coach hadn’t contacted me. He hadn’t, but only a few seconds in to checking out Instagram, my phone buzzed.
Spying Robert’s name on the Caller ID, I answered, “Hey, Robert. Everything okay?”
“It’s me.”
Two guesses as to who that was.
My heart plummeted before it soared, and I could feel my entire being start to throb like I’d been given an electric shock or something.
“What’s wrong?”
There had to be something wrong for him to be calling me from Robert’s phone.
“Nothing. He’s using the hotel landline and told me to call you.”
His calm tone disturbed me on so many levels. I knew I sounded breathy, like I was mimicking Marilyn Monroe or something. He sounded unaffected.
Like he was talking to his mom or something.
God, I wished I had that level of control.
“Why?” I asked, reaching for my drink and taking a deep gulp in the hopes it would settle me down.
“Nike wants to tie you down to a meeting. He wants to confirm it with you. On Friday. His hotel. Four PM.”
Six days away… I swallowed. “I-I think I can do that. It’s the day before the 800m Freestyle race. I should have the afternoon off to rest up.”
“I’ll confirm it with him then.”
He didn’t wait around, didn’t say another word, just clicked off, and even as I was relieved at not having to dawdle over the line, wondering how to say bye to him, something inside me hurt.
We’d had so much promise, and for that to no longer exist just sucked.
“What is it? Is Robert okay?”
I shot her a look. “It wasn’t Robert.”
“I know. It was Adam.”
My eyes flashed. “How did you know that?”
“Your voice always changes when you talk to him.” She tipped her head to the side. “What is it with you and him? You’ve got something going on between you.”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I rasped, my heart hurting as much as my head. “Nike wants to sign me up,” I told her instead, using that as bait.
It worked.
Her eyes flashed. “Holy fuck, Thea. That’s epic news.”
I bit my lip.
She was right.
It was epic.
I’d be dancing around this vending machine nook if Robert had been the one to tell me, but Adam had. Even though I had goals, even though the money was important to me and I had a future to think of, Adam was a part of my past that would always taint the future.
This included.
ADAM
When I didn’t see Theodosia the morning after our conversation about her culture, I knew something was wrong.
Worse still, I knew there was nothing I could do about it.
I didn’t know where she lived, I didn’t have her cell phone number because she didn’t have one.
I knew nothing about her.
Nothing.
And she was anything but nothing to me.
I’d gone ahead with training, thinking she might be running late and that she’d dive in while I was working out, only she hadn’t.
In fact, she wasn’t at the pool.
Period.
As I drank some shitty coffee, sitting at the same table we’d been sitting at together for the last few days, stupid thoughts began to churn inside my mind.
Had Cain turned her against me?
Had he somehow done something to her?
He hated me, I knew that. Was that enough to hurt someone I cared about?
I’d gone to crazy levels to convince him my life was carrying on as normal. One big round of school and training. But I hadn’t really shown him that I cared about Theodosia, had I? Aside from staring at her, and fuck, I was a guy, we stared. I’d made sure to stare at women at school when I was around him. When we’d hung out at the mall yesterday with Liam, a friend from the swim team, I’d pretended to pant after this woman who was a total MILF. Anything to put him off the scent.
It wasn’t the first time I’d done something weird in the name of working out. I’d even trained for a half-marathon last year, which had taken me out early in the morning and had me running to school rather than riding in with Linden, the family driver. So
when I’d told Cain I was thinking of entering a triathlon, which was why I was riding my bike more, he didn’t seem to question that.
So...he couldn’t have done anything to hurt Theodosia, could he?
He didn’t know about her, dammit. But she was the girl who hadn’t been charmed. That meant something to psychos like my brother.
Slurping down the last of my cooling coffee, I accepted that she wasn’t going to come, and instead of leaving for school, I headed down to the front desk.
The same person who’d yawned at me from behind the bulletproof glass the other day when I’d purchased my pass was there. Knowing he’d seen me and Theodosia together, I hoped he’d give me some kind of answer.
“Hey,” I muttered, feeling uneasy because this was a lost cause—but I just had to try.
“Hello,” the guy replied warily, eying me like I was going to stick a gun in his face so I could steal the takings.
Ignoring that, and stemming my irritation, I asked, “I was wondering if you knew why Theodosia didn’t stop by today?”
“Why would I know?” the attendant countered, frowning at me as he picked up a handkerchief and noisily blew his nose.
There was a strange defiance about the gesture, like he wanted to rub my face in his snot or something. Weirdo.
I blinked at him, and mumbled, “I know she comes here every day. I was wondering why she didn’t come today.”
The guy shrugged. “No way of knowing.”
“She doesn’t have a cell phone, so I don’t have her number. Does she have one on file?”
“She does,” was the helpful response, before he blew it, “but I can’t give it to you.”
“That’s fine,” I said quickly. “But I wondered if you could call it and just make sure she’s okay?”
Another sniff followed by another blow of his nose—this guy was gross. “No. That’s against the rules.”
My mouth tightened, but I dipped my chin. With no other recourse than to accept that I wouldn’t know if Theodosia was sick until she returned to the center to swim in the morning, I made my way to my bike.
Above The Surface Page 8
