by Juno Dawson
TODD: HEY!
Sally squirted grapefruit juice over the keyboard. ‘Crap!’ She quickly mopped it up with her sleeve. What was she meant to say?
‘Start with “Hi”,’ Molly Sue said dryly. ‘I hear it’s a classic.’
Thank you, I don’t need your help. She typed, HEY, THANKS FOR ADDING ME.
She didn’t have to wait long for a reply. NO WORRIES. WHAT U DOING?
SALLY: EATING GRAPEFRUIT.
‘Wow. Sexy stuff,’ Molly Sue put in unhelpfully.
TODD: GROSS. YOU NEED A BACON SANDWICH LOL.
She wasn’t sure what to say to that.
SALLY: WE DON’T HAVE ANY L
There was a pause.
TODD: ARE U HOME? I’M BRINGING U A BACON SANDWICH!
Sally almost fell off her chair. ‘What?’
SALLY: DON’T BE DAFT!
TODD: TOO LATE! I’M ON MY WAY!
‘Oh my God! What do I do?’
Molly Sue was silent.
‘Molly Sue! Todd is coming HERE!’
‘Oh, now she wants my help,’ Molly Sue said, floating down her exposed arm and coming to a rest. She had her hands behind her head and kicked her feet as if she was floating on her back in a Hollywood pool.
‘Please don’t give me a hard time, just tell me what to do. He can’t come here!’
‘Well, for starters get your ass dressed. He don’t need to see you in this.’ She motioned at her frilly nightdress.
‘What should I wear? I haven’t got anything.’
‘OK, baby girl, take a big breath. S’all gonna be fine. Wear that skirt you hate. The flowery one.’
‘It’s grotesque! I can’t wear that!’
‘Sure you can. Wear that and the big black T-shirt you sleep in sometimes.’
‘Are you actually kidding?’
‘Just do it, for cryin’ out loud.’
Sally did as she was told, and somehow her tattoo was right yet again. The huge, slouchy T-shirt took the prissiness out of the floral skirt. She rolled the sleeves of the T-shirt up, the way Angela sometimes did on Satanville. Molly Sue told her how to do her hair and she just had time to apply some eye-liner when she heard a horn toot outside. She looked out of the window and saw a car waiting at the end of the drive. He’d driven here. That was a) kinda cool and b) gave her a getaway vehicle.
She hurried out to greet him as he was climbing out of the car. It was a shiny silver hatchback – his mother’s, she guessed. ‘Morning!’ he said. ‘I really did bring you a sarnie.’
‘Can we go somewhere?’ Sally asked, her nervous voice girlishly high-pitched.
‘Sure, why?’
‘If my parents came back and found you in the house … well, they’d burn me at the stake.’
Todd snorted and she was pleased with her little joke.
‘Good,’ Molly Sue whispered. ‘Keep it up. I’ll help if you can’t think of stuff to say.’
Sally got into his car, which smelled strongly of bacon. ‘I can’t believe you made me a sandwich! Thank you!’
‘I even brought a choice of red or brown sauce. Now, where are we going?’
‘Anywhere. Somewhere Melody won’t see us.’
‘Good point.’ He reversed the car out of the drive, craning to look over his shoulder. ‘Although on a Sunday she religiously visits her grandmother – she gets a twenty pound note just for turning up.’
That put Sally’s mind somewhat at ease although this still felt very, very risky. They drove up into the hills towards the lake, Todd all the time talking about the politics of the football team. Sally had no idea boys could be so bitchy. ‘Granger plays like a total gimp but he brown-noses Mr Hussain so much he never gets put on the bench. It drives me mental. I swear he’s got one leg longer than the other or something.’
She didn’t care about football in the slightest but it was giving her precious time to adjust to the impossibility of the situation. In many ways, this was less probable than the enchanted tattoo. She was in TODD BRADY’S CAR. She had fantasised about this, but never for a second dreamed it might one day come true. And yet, here she was. In the fantasy version, it had all had that same Vaseline-lens gloss as her American TV shows. In reality, it was surprisingly normal. She was in his car, picking at a bacon sandwich.
She was nervous as hell.
They parked up in a layby on the furthest side of the lake – the quieter side without the restaurant or The Old Boat Shed. A maze of oaks and firs blocked out the light, smothering the winding lane in an emerald haze. It felt private out here, sealed-in even, but it was only a short walk through the woods to the lakeside. Here, there were lots of little coves for them to choose from.
‘I sometimes come up here with Jennie,’ Sally said as they tramped through the undergrowth. Many feet over many years had worn dirt paths down to the water’s edge. ‘We bring a picnic and just read for a whole day.’ She regretted that at once. It made her sound so nerdy.
‘Sounds good,’ Todd said and she breathed a sigh of relief. ‘I can’t remember the last time I just read a book. I’ve always got so much to do.’
Sally didn’t need to tell him that she didn’t really have a life to speak of. They emerged into the little cove. Sally knew this one well. ‘This is it.’
‘Oh, wow.’ Todd admired the view. ‘You can see The Old Boat Shed from here. It looks so far away.’
‘I always forget how huge the lake is. You can’t even see it all from here.’ It could be easily an ocean if it weren’t so utterly still. Sally sat down on a familiar boulder jutting out of the landscape, already absorbing the tranquillity of the lake. After all the storms, the beach itself was too damp to sit on. With no other choices, Todd sat behind her, a little higher up the rock.
‘It’s so peaceful. I can see why you come here.’
Sally was struggling for something to say. ‘It’s deep too. Deeper than you think. That’s why they tell you not to swim in it. It gets deep so fast that the temperature in the middle of the lake is loads colder than at the edge. If you swim out too far, your muscles cramp with cold and you drown.’
Todd chuckled. ‘Wow. Morbid.’
‘Jesus, girl!’ Molly Sue scolded in her ear. ‘Did you bring him out here to kill him? Lighten up on the drownin’ talk.’
‘Sorry! I’m full of fun facts,’ Sally said. ‘I bet Melody doesn’t talk about drowning.’
Todd slid down to join her on her level. ‘No.’ He paused for a moment. ‘Melody mainly talks about Melody. Look … what you said the other night …’
Sally flustered, covering her face with her hands. ‘God, I know. I’m so embarrassed. I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s really none of my business.’
‘No, no, I’m glad you did. You were right.’ He looked out over the lake, his eyes the same colour as the water – steely blue. ‘The reason I’m with Melody is because I’m scared of what she’ll do if I break up with her. How freaking sad is that? It’s just … easier. Well, I’ve had enough. I’m so tired of people thinking I’m her pet, like one of those frouffy little dogs in a handbag.’
‘Why did you go out with her in the first place?’
He looked to his feet. ‘I didn’t have a lot of say in the matter. You know what Melody’s like; I was steamrolled into it.’ He paused again, considering his words. ‘In a weird way she looks after me too. She makes it easy for me – she tells me what to do, what to think. All I have to do is turn up and smile.’
Sally wasn’t sure whether to pity him. ‘Is that enough for you?’
‘No, it’s not. Despite what you think, I do have balls. I just needed a reminder.’
Sally felt her cheeks blaze. ‘Again, I’m sorry I said that.’
‘No, it was the kick up the arse I needed. That night … when we danced … I felt something I hadn’t felt in ages.’ He then looked at her the way she had always dreamed he would. He looked right at her, his eyes meeting hers and continuing on into her soul.
There was a lum
p the size of an apple in Sally’s throat. It wasn’t me who danced with him. It was her. ‘H … How did you feel?’
‘Like I really, really wanted to kiss you.’
Sally froze as he leaned in towards her. When she didn’t meet him in the middle, as she suspected she was supposed to, he cupped her face in his hand and turned it towards his. She closed her eyes as his mouth met hers. Unable to breathe, she felt his warm, soft lips brush against her own.
I am kissing Todd Brady.
She did it the way she’d seen on TV, and it seemed to work, thank God. It felt amazing. He was so warm and so close and his skin on her skin felt so good.
But it was wrong. Stupid morality. She pulled back. ‘You have a girlfriend,’ she said sadly.
Todd looked guiltily at the lake. ‘I know. But not for long. I’m ending it with Mels. I am.’
Sally nodded, saying nothing. It was too scary to verbalise. He was going to dump Melody and then what? They’d be an item? It was all she’d thought about for years but now that it was sitting right in front of her it was a terrifying thought. Her whole life would be tipped upside-down and everything would change. The idea alone made her head spin. No one likes change …
She did want to do more kissing, though. That had been good. Todd was looking at her. ‘What?’ she said.
‘You. How you were the other night and how you are now. You’re like two totally different people.’
You have no idea. Sally couldn’t meet his gaze. ‘I … I was just a bit drunk.’
‘I like it. You’ve got a dark side.’
Yeah, and she’s called Molly Sue. ‘Doesn’t everyone?’ Sally said, hoping to end the conversation.
‘I guess.’
He was only ever interested in you, Sally told Molly Sue. He doesn’t want me at all.
Molly Sue tutted. ‘Girl, we don’t know that. He just kissed you, didn’t he?’
Foreboding black clouds were gathering over the hills. A storm was brewing. Sally turned to Todd. ‘I should really get home before my parents finish church. They’ll be worried if I’m gone.’
Todd nodded although looked disappointed. ‘Sure. Can we do this again, though?’
Joy or panic, she wasn’t sure which, turned her tummy. ‘Yeah. I’d really like that.’ It was sort of like a horror film – scary, but she wanted to put herself through it.
Todd stepped down from the boulder and offered her a hand, which she took. They held hands all the way back through the woods.
Chapter Twenty-One
Sally knew there was something wrong as soon as she got to school on Monday. People were talking about her and she was sure it wasn’t paranoia. To be more specific, people weren’t talking to her. As soon as she entered a building or corridor, people stopped talking altogether – a sure sign gossip was afoot. ‘What’s going on?’ she said as much to herself as to Jennie and Stan as they walked together into the sixth-form wing.
‘I dunno,’ Jennie replied. ‘Everyone’s still talking about your makeover. You do look awesome today.’
Molly Sue had suggested cutting some of her old jeans into shorts. It did look kinda cool. ‘Thanks,’ Sally said, but wasn’t convinced. People were staring at her. Maybe it was in her head, but she swore some onlookers were stifling giggles behind their hands. I think I preferred being invisible.
‘What?’ Stan snapped at the crowd of Year Thirteen girls gathered by the noticeboard. They just looked at him and, this time, definitely giggled. ‘God, I can’t wait until we can leave this place forever.’
‘I second that.’ Sally believed him – there were fat black Xs counting down the days on his Satanville calendar. May was a pretty good month: Taryn and Dante standing in a crypt, with Dante’s shirt wide open.
All through registration, Sally still couldn’t shake the creeping feeling that there were eyes on her back. She definitely caught one girl giving her a none too subtle side-eye. Register over, they trudged towards Monday morning, period one. ‘Meet you outside the library at break-time?’ Stan asked and she agreed. She walked to maths with her head down; without the others she didn’t feel nearly as secure.
At least maths held the promise of Todd. She was excited and nervous to see him. It already felt like their trip to the lake had been a lovely weekend dream and this morning he’d deny it ever happened. As ridiculous as it sounded, the outing was also ‘their little secret’ and that made it special. She hadn’t even told Jennie, and certainly not Stan. She didn’t need Molly Sue’s opinion to know that was a bad idea.
Todd was already in his seat when Sally arrived at her classroom. Unfortunately, Mr Pollock was already there too, so there was little she could do except give him a smile and brief greeting, which he readily returned. His whole face lit up when she walked in. A shampoo ad cliché, yes, but definitely a good sign. Inner smugness ensued.
Sally sat next to Dee as usual and pulled her things out of her bag. A movement outside caught her eye. At first she though she must be imagining it, but she squinted out of the window and saw it wasn’t her mind playing tricks on her. At the furthest edge of the school grounds, beyond the railings, stood Sister Bernadette. Once again, she wore the same simple clothes and wimple.
Blossom rained down from the trees around her, barely pink petals twirling like confetti. The rise and fall was hypnotic and Sally was unable to look away.
Bernadette seemed to be watching her. Even from so far away, her serene gaze fell on Sally. The nun’s hands were clasped in front of her chest, like prayer but stronger. Her lips looked to be moving but, of course, Sally couldn’t hear what she was saying.
She was following her! Sally instinctively rose out of her chair, ready to go after her.
‘Miss Feather? Are you going somewhere? Do you have plans?’ Mr Pollock glared at her over his glasses as he took the register.
‘Sorry, no … I … there was a wasp.’ Sally turned back to the window as soon as she could discreetly do so. When she did, she saw that Sister Bernadette was gone.
We’ll meet again – when the time comes.
After school there was an extra singing rehearsal for Little Shop – according to Mr Roberts, ‘Skid Row’ sounded like a bag of cats being swung against a wall. Sally’s last lesson had run over, she was late, and to top it all, it had started raining during the last period. A fine drizzle clung to the air and Sally darted across the courtyard to get to the hall. She shook her umbrella off and took the stairs two at a time, not wanting to incur Mr Robert’s wrath. She was sticky and out of breath by the time she slipped into the hall. Luckily they didn’t look to have started yet. Once again, however, as Sally entered the room, there was a wave of twittering, the girls turning into bitchy sparrows and muttering to one another.
She didn’t see Stan until he grabbed her by the elbow. ‘Ow! Stan, what are you doing?’
He dragged her to one side. ‘Is it true?’
‘Is what true?’
The anger fell out of his eyes, but he was still wary of her. He lowered his voice and tried to appear casual. ‘Everyone’s saying that you’ve been sending pictures to guys on the football team.’
‘What?’ Sally’s mouth fell open.
‘You know … like nudey pictures.’
Sally honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. ‘Stan! Of course it’s not true! Hello!’
Stan softened. ‘OK. That’s what I said but no one believed me.’
‘Is that why everyone’s been staring at me all day? Who’s saying that?’
‘I dunno. I heard it from Annabel Sumpter.’
Figured. ‘Well, who told her?’
‘I have no idea.’
Sally looked over her shoulder to see Melody and Eleanor giggling to one another. ‘I think I have an idea.’ Sally quickly located Keira, who was trying to cram in her homework before rehearsal started. ‘Hey, Keira.’
‘Oh, hey.’ Keira looked very much like she didn’t want to be seen talking to her. Unpopularity is like a virus �
� no one wants to get infected.
‘Look, I know what people are saying about me and it’s not true. Do I look like the sort of person who sends pictures like that?’
Keira pouted and eyed her denim shorts. ‘Erm, a little bit, yeah.’
‘Well, I’m not! Who’s been saying that I have?’
‘Sally, I’ve seen the pics. They’re on Facebook.’
‘What? Show me!’
Rolling her eyes, Keira opened her phone and handed it to her see. The photo was just of a pair of breasts with a suggestion of blonde hair. ‘For God’s sake! They’re not mine. I wish they were; they’re at least three cup sizes bigger!’ Unsurprisingly, the original poster was Eleanor Ford and the caption read Guess someone didn’t tell Sally Feather pics can be screen-grabbed LOL.
The clever little bitch. Sally didn’t for a second believe Eleanor had distributed the pictures. Melody had ensured once again there was no paper trail back to her.
‘Oh, that bitch needs to pay,’ Molly Sue growled in her ear.
Keira examined the boobs and then examined Sally’s. ‘I see what you mean …’
‘Get Eleanor to delete it. Please.’
Keira looked about halfway sympathetic. ‘I’ll try … but if this was a Mels thing, you know she won’t. Trust me, it’ll blow over like that time everyone saw my camel toe in PE. Hell, you might even be more popular with the football team …’
Sally said nothing but marched towards the stage to get ready. She didn’t feel embarrassed any more; she felt Molly Sue’s anger and doubled it.
‘Good girl,’ Molly Sue purred. ‘But don’t get mad … get even.’
Sally channelled her anger into her singing, the one power she had over Melody. Not content with nailing the opening lines of ‘Skid Row’, she made a swing at a death punch. ‘Mr Roberts,’ she said after they’d been through it a couple of times. ‘Could I have a go at the Audrey part?’ She looked dead at Melody. ‘You know, just in case?’
‘Yeah, sure. That’s not a bad idea, actually.’ He called for the Seymour understudy to also fill in. Melody gave her a poisonous glare but it only spurred her on. Audrey had only a few solo lines in the song, but two very big notes.
