“Yes, for Ash. Will, I have to go. Just…just rest up, and call me if you need anything. I’ll keep you updated with what’s going on here, okay?”
What else could I say to that but “Fine”? I couldn’t argue with him, couldn’t tell him no. I was in no position to tell him what to do, especially when it came to Ash. Now Sawyer and Travis, they were two people I’d seen a lot, talked to a lot. They spent a lot of time growing up over our house. Going back to them was stupid. Stupid, stupid.
After hanging up, I sat there in silence, my jaw clenching. I thought about Travis and Sawyer, and I didn’t like them. I resented them, hated them with my whole being, for what they did to Declan. Tossing aside his friendship as if he meant nothing, blaming him for Sabrina when in fact the blame should’ve been pointed somewhere else.
Ugh. Whatever. There wasn’t anything I could do to change it right now. I could, however, do a little Googling of Ray. Going off with a serial killer was a stupid move, but if what Declan said was true, if Travis was right and there was a connection between her and Ray…maybe she knew what mess she was getting into.
Maybe Ash was a bit more complicated than I thought.
Chapter Eight – Ash
The man working at the gas station eyed me up and down. I did my best to wipe off the blood from my neck, but every so often another drip dribbled down and stained more fabric. This gas station wasn’t like the one that I stumbled in while running from Ray. This one was more high-end, with cleaner floors and whiter lights, not to mention a bigger place all around. The man behind the counter was an older gentleman, but not quite as old as the one who I’d asked to use his phone before.
I wasn’t going to ask for a phone this time. Kelsey was…hopefully safe and back in the dorm. I really hoped I didn’t leave her at that party only to have her get so drunk she slept with the whole frat house. I should call her, to check in, at least, but talking to my friend right now, even if she was in dire straits, was not the first thing on my mind.
Numero uno? Getting home.
And I didn’t mean home with Mom. I meant home with my Hillcrest boys.
The man noticed that I wore a hoodie—and since the hoodie hung longer than the slip, it looked like I was basically walking around naked under it—and he commented, “Can I, uh, help you, Miss?”
“How far is Hillcrest from here?” I asked. My feet already hurt. I’d been walking for at least an hour, quite a few miles before I stumbled upon this gas station. I really hoped he’d be able to tell me how to get back, or just point me in the right direction.
I really, really hoped I didn’t walk in the opposite direction. Backtracking my steps would suck.
“The college, you mean?” he asked, still eyeing me up and giving me an incredulous look. I’d gotten beeped at a few times, but no one stopped to offer to help me. At this point, I wouldn’t accept help from anyone.
The metal dagger was heavy in my pocket. This was my mistake. I had to make up for it, and if my feet grew bloody, so it would be.
“The university,” I corrected him. I knew I was probably far, since we were partying in Stanton, but as luck would have it, it wasn’t too far.
“It’s about forty-five-minute drive from here. Do you need a map?”
I shrugged. “I have no money.” A forty-five-minute drive would be…a lot longer of a walk, but I could handle it. I think.
“Can you call someone?” the man asked. “You can use my phone.”
A nice offer, but this wasn’t going to be a repeat of last time. “No. I just need to know where to go. I can get back myself.”
The man ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head somewhat, as if he didn’t believe this, couldn’t believe me. Couldn’t blame him, considering how I looked. “Alrighty then. You’re going to want to head north. I’m sure you’ll see signs once you get closer.”
My eyes flicked to the clock hanging behind the counter, noting the time. “Thank you.” I said nothing else, not stopping even as he called out to me. If that man knew that I held a bloodied knife in my pocket, he surely wouldn’t have been so forthcoming. Cops would’ve been called, and then I’d be fucked. As it was, I should stay off the main roads, just in case a cop did happen to roll by.
Being questioned by a cop while having a murder weapon in my hoodie and slightly smelling of rotting flesh was a no-go.
Once I emerged outside, I tilted my head towards the sunny sky. North. I could go north, thanks to the sun’s position. I might arrive a bit late, when it was dark out, but that was fine. Better late than never.
Better alone than with Ray.
As I walked down the residential streets, tugging down the hoodie as I walked to at least try to cover more of my legs, I couldn’t help but wonder why he wasn’t following me. Surely he wanted to.
No, you know what? He wouldn’t follow me, not yet. I hadn’t bought myself forever with my antics, but I did buy myself some time. Ray would make his presence known again, and the next time he did, it would be both spectacular and bloody. I had to be ready for him…I had to make sure the guys were ready for him.
The truth. I had to tell the guys the truth.
It was something I mentally prepared myself for as I walked along. The hours crept by, and the wind tousled my hair. I was lost in my own head, wondering just how to break it to them. I’d have to tell them the whole truth, how I’d gotten involved with Ray, what Ray was capable of… what happened in that murder cabin. I’d have to tell them that Ray was the one who hurt Will.
And Declan? Ray had claimed that he only stabbed Will in his apartment. Ray liked to control, liked to play games, but I didn’t know if he was smart enough to purposefully get me to doubt Declan.
What if what Ray said was true? What if Ray hadn’t hurt Declan? If that was the case…then Declan was more conniving that I thought. There was a darkness in him I hadn’t seen, something I was oblivious to. Was I truly so blind? Was I so stupid? I guess I’d find out, because I had to confront him over it. I had to ask, had to know the truth.
If I spoke my twisted truths to these guys, they had to be truthful to me, and to each other. That would be the deal I’d make with them. No more secrets, no more lies, from anyone, to anyone. Everyone would come clean.
My feet ached something fierce, but I knew it was only a matter of time before they hurt worse. Walking barefoot, without socks to protect them, would probably scar my feet after it was all said and done, but like I said, this was a pain I deserved. My walk of atonement. This was me pushing through my weakness, refusing to give up even when all hope seemed lost.
God, this walk would be so much faster with my skateboard, but again, that was beside the point. I couldn’t skate my way back to Hillcrest. I had to fight to get back, nearly kill myself while doing it. There was no other way.
The colors of twilight coated the world by the time I started seeing street signs that pointed to Hillcrest, and my feet had long since blistered and started to peel. A few spots were probably bloody, and my legs wanted to give out when I put pressure on them, but I had to keep moving. I had to get back.
I had to. There was no turning back now, no taking back the things I’d done.
Sawyer was not the only fuckup in Hillcrest. I vied for his fuckup crown, and I just might have succeeded in taking it in the last twenty-four hours.
Maybe it was fate, or maybe it was just the direction I came into town from, but I didn’t see Hillcrest’s campus first. No. I came upon familiar streets first, the McDonald’s first. I could go to campus, or could keep going straight.
An intelligent Ash would’ve headed towards campus, would’ve gone to the dorm first. But Ray’s words lingered in my head, as did doubt about Declan’s innocence.
I couldn’t go there. Not right now. Not right away. I needed someplace where I could crash and sleep. Also I was starving, and walking by that McDonald’s only made me hungrier.
God, I could really use some chicken nuggets right about now.
Because I was
me, because I was Ash and not some run of the mill chick, I headed down Main Street and went towards the big houses that were rentals for upperclassmen. My aching feet stopped me in front of a big white house, three stories, immaculate in every way. Clearly there were yard workers who did the dirty work of the house, because I knew the one renting this giant place by himself wouldn’t ever touch a lawnmower or a tree-trimmer.
Sawyer. My heart still hurt when I thought about him with Kelsey, but then again, it was a pain of my own design. It wasn’t like he cheated on me. We weren’t together. We were just two people, caught in the same web, but we weren’t in a relationship. I couldn’t hold him to the standards I’d hold a boyfriend.
I might’ve called these guys my boyfriends to Ray, but the truth was they weren’t. They were all too broken, kind of like me. There would be no happy ending for us, no relationship like there was between that girl at the bonfire, Elle, and her guys. My Hillcrest guys would never be happy together like that. There was too much history.
I heaved a giant breath before starting the long march to the front door. Deeper in the house, I spotted some lights on, and I wondered if he was awake, if he had a girl—or multiple—here. The sun had long set, and the dark night sky sat above me, full of sparkling stars and the silver moon. Maybe he didn’t have anyone over. Maybe Sawyer was too drunk or high.
Was it wrong that I wished he was? It would make this easier. I could use his shower, take some of his clothes, and then burn this hoodie and this slip, all while trying to tell myself not to have feelings for him.
Yeah, somehow, with my luck, I knew that would happen. There was probably a girl in there, and I tossed a glimpse to the driveway, spotting one other car beside his. It was not Kelsey’s rust bucket, so at least there’s that. Kelsey was either gone or back at the dorm. Either way, I didn’t want to face her. Not yet.
And if Kelsey told me she got into trouble after I left the party…then I wouldn’t know what to tell her. She was kind of like Sawyer, in a way, needing validation, needing someone to watch over her, to stop her from doing stupid shit that might end her life early. She was my friend, but damn, she was dumb sometimes.
We all had those moments.
I rolled my shoulders, returning my gaze to the door. It seemed like a massive door, or maybe I just felt immeasurably small in this hoodie, with no shoes. Maybe I simply felt like curling into myself and wishing this day would be over, that all of my hard times were in the past. A stupid wish, because no matter what I longed for, Ray was still out there.
Ray, my stalker. My first love. My serial killer. He wouldn’t let me go for long, so I had to use this time wisely.
My fingers curled at my sides, and I lifted my hand to knock—but I stopped as I spotted the doorbell, which glowed with its own inner light. Even in a pitch-black night, you’d be able to see that doorbell.
I rung it, only once. Just once to see if the owner of the house was sober. I knew, based on past experience, that Sawyer had a habit of leaving his door unlocked, for any and all to enter. Stupid especially, considering my ex and what he was capable of, but then again, maybe Ray didn’t view Sawyer as a problem. He probably assumed Sawyer would fuck up all on his own.
And, big shocker, he did.
Apprehension flowed through me as I waited. I’d wait a few minutes before barging in. It could be that Sawyer left some lights on without really thinking. He didn’t care about bills or electricity waste anyway. He was a Salvatore; he practically shit money.
I saw a shadow move inside, and my heart fell. He was up, somehow. Sober enough to move quickly. What—
All of my thoughts vanished the moment he opened the door.
It wasn’t Sawyer.
Chapter Nine – Travis
I sent Declan home hours ago. Well, back to his dorm, just in case Ash ended up popping her head in there. Just in case she made her way there and neither of us were there to receive her. I’d driven to Stanton, drove all through its campus, searching for her. I drove for hours and hours and returned with nothing. I sent Declan home shortly after that, knowing one of us should be with Sawyer.
I was in the living room, staring vacantly at the TV, at whatever stupid show plagued the channel on a Sunday night, when I heard the doorbell ring. On my feet the next instant, I wondered just who the hell it was. It was too much to hope that the ringer would be Ash, far too much to hope. Coming from my family, I knew hope meant little when you got down to it. Hope could not save you from reality.
Or death.
One hand flexed into a fist as I headed towards the door, my footsteps heavy. With my other hand, I reached out, expecting it to be…well, I wasn’t really sure. Someone not welcome here.
But it wasn’t.
It was the one person who I craved to see above all others, the one person who made me panic like crazy all of today, and all of last night. The one girl who had me wrapped around her finger, somehow, someway. She was the one person I would get on my knees and crawl for.
Ash.
If my heart could stop from the unexpected, it would’ve stopped right then and there. Just seeing her face, how tired she looked, made me upset. Ash should never be tired. She should be taken care of.
I said nothing, and before she had the chance to say anything, I grabbed her by the shoulders, perhaps a bit too forcefully—but I wasn’t known for my gentleness—and pulled her inside the house. With one arm wrapped around her, I used my other to close the door. She wore strange clothes, was a bit…stinky, but all in all, she was whole.
I leaned my cheek against her hair, breathing her in. Granted, I smelled the faintest traces of…was that death? But I didn’t care. I didn’t care, because she was here. She was here, and she was never going to leave me again.
Just as she started to lean into me, accept my embrace, I pushed her back against the door, digging my hips into hers as I grabbed her face and tilted it up. No words right now. No words were needed.
My lips crashed upon hers, and I kissed her with the fury of a man who was pissed, a man who was agitated. I wordlessly scolded her for making me worry all this time, the push and pull of her lips melding against mine as I took her by surprise. I felt something hard between us, something hanging near her stomach, but I paid no attention to it. I only needed her.
Ash. My Ash.
I had to get it through her thick skull that if she tried to pull another stunt like that, I’d bring out the chains again.
I was…mostly joking.
Not wanting to let her face go, I ran my teeth along her bottom lip, hearing her sigh into me. It was the best sound I’d ever heard, something I feared I would never hear again. Truth would come later. Right now I only cared that she was here, that I could touch her, that I could make her see just how crazy she’d driven me by running away.
“Tell me you’re not going to leave again,” I murmured against her lips, feeling myself getting harder by the second. This one…this one drove me crazy in a way no other girl ever could, ever did. No one in my past could ever hope to amount to her. “Tell me you’re not going to leave me.”
A stupid plea, something she’d never be able to answer, not really. It was selfish of me to even ask, and yet I did. I could not help myself when it came to her, and I was about to show her just how much of an animal she made me.
Though we were close, I could see the pinkness on her cheeks. There was a time and place to lose control, but this one made me urgently need to lose it, especially with her continued silence.
Still, she wasn’t pushing me away, wasn’t fighting me, so I was going to take that as a win, as a sign my precious Ash wanted the same thing I did, except flipped. I wanted her, and she wanted me. Besides, what better way to make her realize just how badly I’d needed her while she was gone?
“Travis,” she whispered my name, finally breaking her silence, my name a desperate prayer on her tongue.
I kissed her again as I released my hold on her head, drawing my hands down her b
ody. Past the hoodie, past whatever hard object sat in its pocket, I stopped only when I reached her inner thighs, and as I brought my hands up, I found something soft and sheer beneath the hoodie, something flimsy—and she wore no underwear.
My mind was too crazed with lustful need to step back and ponder what that meant. Right now the only thought going through my mind was: one less obstacle. One less item of clothing to move to the side. I liked sex better when restraints were involved, but any intimate moments with Ash were better than none, and when it came to this girl, I knew when to take.
The truth? I’d waited too long to make her mine. I’d taken a step back from her after the incident in my room, watching and being there, playing the master manipulator, and now I’d circled back. Now I was here, in Sawyer’s house, trying to help get him clean because at the time I hadn’t realized just how much Sawyer meant to her. Now I was working with Declan, and even though most of my mind was on my throbbing cock, a part of me knew I would have to call him after this.
After.
Because now—now I was about to lay claim to the girl of the year herself. Ash.
Ash was mine, not fucking Ray Ruiz’s.
I broke our lip lock, trailing my mouth along her throat, kissing what I could above the hoodie’s neckline as I fumbled with myself. She heard me, felt me undoing my pants and pulling myself out, but she didn’t stop me. She didn’t tell me no. I knew Ash; if she didn’t want this, she would’ve spoken up. She wasn’t the kind of girl to keep quiet.
Her being silent was her begging. Her moans were her acceptance.
I lifted Ash off her feet, noticing her wincing but not stopping. She was barefoot, I saw, and her feet probably hurt, but that was okay, because I was here. I was here, and I could make all of the pain go away.
I helped her wrap her legs around me, and it was like magic. Like fucking magic. My cock needed no assistance in finding her entrance, and I slid right in. I entered her with a single thrust of my hips, and I buried my face in the crook of her neck as I let out a muffled groan.
Psycho: A Dark College Romance (Hillcrest University Book 4) Page 6
