by Beth Wiseman
When his mother had piled the dishes in soapy water, she sat down across from Amos at the table. “Esther wrote to me. She told me there was definitely a spark between you and Naomi.” Mamm smiled. “Such a kind maedel, and I saw a hint of something between you before I left to come home. Were we all wrong?”
“Nee, there was something.” Amos told his mother about Thomas’s return and Naomi’s history with him. “She needs to work things out without a distraction from me.”
His mother’s eyes drooped as she frowned but stayed quiet. Amos decided to throw her a bone.
“But, Mamm, spending time with Naomi helped mei to open mei heart to the possibility of love again. Maybe Gott has someone else for me and will see fit to give me a second chance.” In his heart, though, he couldn’t imagine a second chance with anyone but Naomi.
His mother offered a weak smile. “I’m happy about that, sohn. I really am.”
Amos scratched his cheek. “Then why do you look so glum?”
His mother sighed. “Because I haven’t seen that look in your eyes since Sarah. I would miss you very much if you left our community, but I don’t want geography to dictate your decisions.” Smiling, she stood and walked around the table, then kissed Amos on the forehead. “Love is a tricky business.”
Amos remained at the table for a while longer, recalling the time he’d spent with Naomi, hoping and praying she’d write him back.
* * *
Esther prayed for strength Wednesday morning, then put on her cape and bonnet and marched to Gus’s cottage. He was waiting by the truck for her. When he opened his door to get in, she tugged on hers and slid onto the seat. No matter what this day should bring, Esther was determined not to fall apart the way she had during the MRI. She was a grown woman, and if she had cancer or some other dreadful disease, she would face it with bravery.
“Put your seat belt on.” Gus pumped the gas several times before the old pickup started.
“Maybe you should wear yours too.” Esther raised her chin and faced forward.
Gus glared at her, but he pulled the belt across his belly, groaning as he snapped it in place.
She turned and pointed a finger at him. “I do not want to hear anything foul from you today. You are to mind your manners and not upset me in any way.”
They weren’t even out of the driveway when Gus hit the brake abruptly.
Esther threw both hands against the dash so she wouldn’t bang her head.
“If it’s gonna be like this all day, maybe you better find another ride.” Gus looked at her and raised an eyebrow.
“Just drive.” Esther sighed.
After they were on the highway, Gus cut his eyes in her direction when he should have been watching the road. “This ain’t a pretty side of you, Esther, all this hostility.” He shook his head.
She coughed out a nervous laugh, covering her mouth in case any blood surfaced, but it didn’t. “Gus Owens, I don’t think you, of all people, should be telling me how to act. Do you ever listen to the way you talk to people? You are abrasive, often very rude, and I’ve never heard you pay anyone a compliment. You complain all the time and are generally a miserable person to be around. If I seem to be having one bad day, I’d appreciate it if you’d cut me some slack.”
Gus grinned. “Cut you some slack? Ain’t that kind of an English thing to say? Sounds funny coming from you.”
“I probably heard it from you.” She cut her eyes toward him. “And now that you’ve pointed it out, I won’t be saying it again.”
“Woman—yeah, woman—it’s a good thing we’re already on the highway, or I would have dropped you on the road back there. You wanna talk to me about being ‘foul’? Maybe you can lose the attitude or find another ride back home.”
Esther took a deep breath and released it slowly. “I’m sorry.” She paused, thinking how poorly she’d treated Gus. Most folks would say he had it coming, but it wasn’t Esther’s way to be so nasty.
“They are going to poke and prod me with more tests today, and then I have to wait to meet with the doctor so he can tell me if I’m going to die.”
They were perfectly quiet for at least five minutes, the rumble of the truck not enough to drown out Esther’s worries. She rolled the possibilities over, then tried to imagine how she would tell Lizzie that the Lord would be calling her home soon. Everything was God’s will. Esther knew that. But she was terrified, which made her question how strong her faith really was.
“You’re real pretty.” Gus didn’t look at her when he spoke.
Esther snapped her head to the left. “What?”
“You heard me. I shouldn’t have to repeat it.” He grumbled as he shifted the gear on the floorboard.
Esther realized her mouth was hanging open and snapped it closed. “What?” she asked again.
“Woman, you might be dying, but you’re not hard of hearing. I said you’re real pretty.”
Esther closed her eyes and gave her head a quick shake. Maybe her mind was already taking a turn for the worse. “Gus, I’m a seventy-two-year-old, gray-haired, large woman with a roadmap of wrinkles, so I’m not sure what would make you say that. But I suppose a thank you is in order, so danki.”
“You said you’d never heard me give anyone a compliment. I give you one, and this is how you act.” He clicked his tongue.
“Sorry.” She squeezed the handles of her purse and kept her eyes forward.
“You’re pretty on the inside, too, and always real nice to people.”
Esther threw her head back against the headrest. “The Lord is already preparing to take me home, because I am losing mei mind.” With her head still pressed back, she turned to look at Gus. “Did I really just hear you give me a second compliment? Two in one day, in less than an hour?”
He wrinkled his nose but didn’t answer. After a few minutes, she said, “Thank you, Gus, I appreciate that.”
“You’re welcome.” He paused to grin at her. “Woman.”
Esther smiled back at him. God never ceased to amaze her. Sometimes a good thing could come from the least expected person.
She sniffed the air. “That dreadful smell is gone.” Pausing, she drew in another breath. “It smells like . . .” She thought for a moment. “Like apples and cinnamon.”
“I wondered when you were gonna notice.” Gus grimaced as he shoved the stick shift into place, grinding another gear. “You were right. There was a dead mouse under the hood.”
“Well, whatever you sprayed inside the truck smells very nice.”
He shrugged. “Yeah, I guess I had gotten used to it stinking. But I found some air freshener under the sink. I always buy the apple cinnamon kind. It was Heather’s favorite when she was little.”
Esther held her breath, debating what to say. It was Gus’s first mention of his daughter. She stayed quiet, fearing anything she said would send him into a tailspin, and today—of all days—she wanted to stay calm. And for Gus to do the same.
“I don’t know how much you heard when Heather came to see me.” Gus kept his eyes straight ahead with no readable expression on his face.
“I heard enough.” Esther swallowed hard, then forced herself to take a deep breath.
After another minute, he said, “I had it coming, I guess—all the names she called me and stuff. But I guess I had hoped things would be different.” Then he turned to Esther. “She ain’t coming back. I’m pretty sure of that.”
Esther decided to take a chance and jump into the conversation. “What prompted her visit after all this time?”
He burst out laughing. “Who knows. Maybe she thought she might need a kidney one day.” He glared at Esther. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
And just like that, Grumpy Gus returned full force. He’d shared more than he ever had, so Esther wasn’t going to push. At least not today.
“I understand,” she said softly. Baby steps.
They arrived at the hospital and parked, then Esther began walking towar
d the building. Gus patted her on the back.
“Esther, I feel like this God of yours still has plans for you. He ain’t gonna take you home just yet.”
“He’s your Gott, too, Gus.” Esther glanced up in time to see him crinkle his nose.
“Nah. There was a time when I thought so.” He paused. “But God left me hung out to dry a long time ago.”
Esther’s people didn’t minister by nature, but she couldn’t help wondering if Gus’s disposition was due to his lack of faith. Or maybe the world had kicked him hard one too many times, and he was kicking back twice as hard. Either way, Esther was convinced there was another man hiding inside Gus. A person who sometimes revealed his true self and wanted to escape the person he’d become.
As she walked up to the desk at the hospital, all thoughts of Gus fled, replaced with needles and tubes and . . . her results afterward.
Twenty-one
Esther submitted to the will of God, endured her final tests—mostly lab work and one X-ray—then she and Gus went to the building next to the hospital. Esther trembled on the inside, but outwardly, she presented herself to be the brave person she was not. She’d come up with a dozen different ways to tell Lizzie she was sick, possibly dying. The biggest and hardest part of the conversation would be convincing Lizzie that she could go on without her.
When the nurse opened the door and called her name, Esther had trouble standing up on her weak knees, but Gus’s hand clutched her elbow and he helped her to her feet. As much as she didn’t want him to see her fall apart, she didn’t want to hear the news alone either.
She and Gus waited in her doctor’s office. He was a young fellow, too young to be practicing medicine, Esther thought, but she’d been referred to him by her regular doctor.
“Stop looking like you’re preparing for your own funeral,” Gus grumbled.
Esther tried to picture Lizzie or Naomi sitting next to her, anyone with a more compassionate nature.
“Hello, Esther.” Dr. Boone walked in wearing his crisp white coat and a stethoscope around his neck. Esther wanted to ask him how old he was, but she simply returned the greeting.
“Okay.” He opened a file before scanning two pages, then looked at her. “You’ve got a nasty stomach ulcer, so you need to make some diet changes, and you’ll need to take these pills, at least for a while. He pushed a small piece of paper toward her, a prescription she saw when she put her glasses on and looked closely.
“You mean to tell me, after all these tests and scaring the woman half to death, all she’s got is an ulcer?” Gus groaned. “Seems a waste of money to me.”
Esther held her breath, willing Gus to be quiet. “I don’t have cancer? I’m not going to die?” she asked barely above a whisper.
Dr. Boone smiled. “Not any time soon. You’re basically a healthy woman for your age, but your body is rejecting some of the food you eat. Here is a list of things you’ll want to avoid.” He handed Esther another piece of paper, larger and in color. “Your cholesterol is a little high, so I’m going to give you a prescription for that too.” He began scribbling on another piece of paper.
“It’s all a big scam for money, all those tests.” Gus folded his arms across his big belly, but Esther ignored him. She had never danced in her life, but she was tempted to get up and give it a try, no matter how much Gus’s comments embarrassed her.
“I’m afraid those tests were necessary to rule out other potential problems. But, Esther, you need to have regular checkups. And follow up with an eye doctor since it’s been so long.” The doctor stood, told Esther to call if she had any questions, then dismissed them, after Esther thanked him repeatedly.
On the ride home, Esther couldn’t stop smiling. “I am so relieved. I’ve never been so relieved in mei life.”
“How are you paying for all this? You and Lizzie don’t seem to have financial problems, but you had a lot of tests, and MRIs ain’t cheap.” He raised an eyebrow. “You people don’t have insurance, do you? Or Medicare?”
“We have a community fund that everyone contributes to for handling our medical costs. I chose not to use it. If a young person becomes ill, they might feel the financial strain, and I want there to be enough money in the fund for future generations. Lizzie and I are not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination, but our mother left plenty to sustain us.” She paused. “I just hope I’m done with all of this.”
“You best get off this irrational fear you have about your health. You’re old and breaking down. There comes a time when you can’t grease the parts anymore. They’ll bust, and you either have to get new ones or do without. So you need to pay an occasional visit to a doctor for checkups. But eventually, you’ll kick the bucket.” He turned to her, frowning. “I thought your people were okay with death.”
Esther didn’t want to debate theology with Gus. “There is nothing you can say to ruin mei happy mood.”
“Well, before you get too happy, you might want to check the foods you can’t eat anymore.”
“Whatever they are, I’m fine with it. I’m just relieved not to have anything seriously wrong.” Esther took the list from her purse and scanned it. Most of it she could live with. She wasn’t a fan of spicy foods, but there was one item on the list that caught her attention. “Oh dear.”
Gus chuckled. “I’m gonna bet there’s something on there about greasy food. You people gop everything up with lard and deep fry it.”
She cut her eyes at him. “Say what you will, but I can change mei eating habits. Even if it means giving up fried foods.”
“But is it really worth it? We’re already old. Shouldn’t we just enjoy ourselves? My blood sugar is off the chart, but I ain’t giving up pie.”
Esther lifted both eyebrows. “So I’m contributing to your poor health?”
“Probably not anymore. I reckon my pies will stop coming now that you don’t need me.”
She noticed a tinge of regret in his voice. “Gus, I have appreciated you driving me to these appointments, even though there ended up being only two.” Danki, Gott. “But I will still bring you pie, maybe just not every day in rain or snow.”
After a quick stop at Walmart to get Esther’s prescriptions filled, it was a quiet ride the rest of the way—bumpy, but quiet. By the time they returned home, Esther was still overjoyed, but also tired and in need of a nap.
She walked around the truck and waited for Gus to climb out and stand up. She looked up at him, then did something she never thought she would. “Danki,” she said as she wrapped her arms around him.
He stiffened right away and kept his hands at his sides. After a few seconds, he patted her on the back.
“You’re welcome,” he said softly.
Gus would never be what Esther would consider a gentleman, but she’d seen a few soft spots. There was hope for him.
* * *
Naomi peered out the living room window and raised her hand to her mouth.
Lizzie stood next to her, mouth agape. “Did I just see what I think I did? Was Esther hugging Gus?”
“Ya, I can’t believe it either.” Naomi watched Esther leave Gus. “I’ve also seen her coming from his haus before, and she was smiling.”
“She’s smiling now! And she’s always taking him his mail or even defending him.” Lizzie looked like the blood was being siphoned from her face. “Esther’s lost her mind. I wouldn’t touch that man with a ten-foot pole, and yet . . . mei schweschder is hugging him?” She looked at Naomi with wide eyes.
Naomi was having a hard time believing Esther could be involved with Gus in an intimate way, but she sure had been spending a lot of time with him.
“Maybe we shouldn’t say anything. It’s her business.” Naomi chewed on her bottom lip.
“Since when have Esther or I minded our own business?” Lizzie marched to the middle of the living room and clutched her hands in front of her.
Naomi followed and stood next to her, mirroring her stance.
Esther walked into the room
with a smile that stretched across her face.
“Do you have something you need to tell us?” Lizzie lifted her chin, eyeing her sister as her nostrils flared.
Esther’s cheerfulness didn’t diminish. “Ya, as a matter of fact, I do.”
Lizzie fell onto the couch, closed her eyes, and threw her head back. “Gott take me now. This can’t be true.”
“Ach, well, I don’t know how you found out. Maybe there was a message on the machine, but it is certainly wonderful news that I’m happy to share with you now. Don’t look so upset. I just didn’t want you to worry until I was certain of everything.”
Naomi wasn’t sure Lizzie was breathing as the color continued draining from her face. Naomi put a hand to her forehead. “Esther, have you been keeping a secret from us?”
“Ya.” Her joyous expression fell. “And I’m sorry about that. But I’m going to be okay, and I thank Gott for that.”
Lizzie bolted from the couch with the energy of a teenager, her fists clenched at her sides. “How is being in the arms of that awful man going to make you okay? Exactly how long have you been carrying on with Gus?”
Esther’s mouth fell open. “What?”
Naomi cleared her throat. “I-I saw you coming from his haus, happy and smiling one night. He’s been driving you around, and you always take him pie or deliver his mail.” She paused, waiting for Esther to say something, but her face turned as ashen as Lizzie’s. “I’m afraid we figured it out after we saw you hugging him just now.”
* * *
Esther closed her mouth, bent in half, and laughed so hard, she hoped she didn’t fall over.
“See, Naomi. I told you. Esther’s lost her mind.” Lizzie sat in one of the rocking chairs, rubbing her temples.
Esther finally straightened, but she couldn’t stop laughing, and her eyes began to water. “You . . . you . . .” She pointed back and forth between Lizzie and Naomi. “You think I’m having a romantic relationship with Gus?”
