Love Me Madly

by Lidiya Foxglove

  Love Me Madly

  Forever in Their Thrall Book Two

  Lidiya Foxglove

  Copyright © 2020 by Lidiya Foxglove

  Cover art © 2020 by Jessica Allain/Enchanting Covers

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Created with Vellum

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  More Romantic Fantasy from Lidiya!

  About the Author

  Chapter One

  Rayner

  “You look very determined for such an injured man,” Silvus said. I woke with the sun and figured I would be the first out of bed, but here was Silvus, sipping tea in the morning light that hit the little battered Formica table by the kitchen window.

  “I’m feeling better.”

  Silvus arched a brow at me like only he could. “Rayner, you look like complete hell. But let me guess. You’re about to tell me we have to get on with our road trip. Well, I’m not the one who will be in agony. Where are we going?” He poured a second cup of tea and put it across from him.

  Truthfully, I appreciated that he would indulge me. I tried to sit down smoothly but I couldn’t hide the pain that shot through my hip and forced me to grip the chair and lean on my arm more than my leg.

  Still, when you were five hundred years old, what was a little pain anymore? This was nothing compared to pains of the heart. I owed it to my Tulip to get to work immediately on eliminating that man.

  Father Joshua.

  Now I knew who he really was. Johannes.

  My sire.

  He had been hiding his vampire identity, living among the humans, leading a religious cult—all to get his hands on my darling girl. He had taken her from her real parents. He was the one who threw me down the elevator shaft and broke me this way. But far worse—he killed Alissa’s father. I still had to tell her. The words sat so heavy in my gut that they wouldn’t come out of my mouth, but I couldn’t put it off any longer. Soon I had to break this terrible news.

  “I think we should go talk to Ulf. He will want to know that Johannes is still alive. Maybe he’ll know how to find Alissa’s true mother. It might help soften the blow, if…we can find her real mother.”

  “Poor pet.”

  “How was your night with her?” I asked, with a perplexing streak of jealousy I couldn’t quite hide. Our rules had been set since the beginning. We took turns, in order of seniority within the clan, taking Alissa to our bed. The night before last was the first time in almost two centuries that I had made love to a woman—my woman. And it had even been a century since her past life as a man.

  The circumstances with Johannes had clouded my joy, but even more shocking—last night I found myself wishing Silvus was there with me as much as I wished for Alissa. I always took care of Alissa, but Silvus took care of me. I wasted no opportunity to remind him that I was his sire and the leader of the clan. No clan leader would survive as long as I had without being tough.

  Sometimes I was reminded there was still a human soul inside me. I was not invincible. Seeing Johannes was a shock I never expected.

  Silvus patted my hand. “She was so very tired. I tucked her in and Calrose slept with her while I fell asleep reading by the fire. My first time with her, after so long…it must be right.”

  It was his right to have her, but I was glad they waited, although this was entirely selfish.

  “I’m not sure anything will soften the blow, Rayner,” Silvus added. “If you put it off too long, she won’t trust you.”

  “Fuck. I know.” I buried my head in my hand. “I can’t stand watching her grieve.”

  “We’ve been through this so many times,” Silvus said. “You’ve stood it before. The best thing we can do is be there for her while she works through it.”

  “Yes. Like that day Meg lost her sister.”

  “The drowned sister…,” Silvus said.

  “I thought I was steeled to death, but that one seemed like a real betrayal of order. It was such a perfect day, and just that morning Meg was gathering lavender into bouquets and tying them with ribbons, whistling songs. I had even said it was as perfect a day as God could give us when I kissed her good morning, and then—that. Babette was such a sweet girl and she had just married Jean. The happiness of their wedding seemed like yesterday. Sometimes life is too cruel.”

  “I remember,” Silvus said thoughtfully. “It was the only time in my life I simply couldn’t accept a tragedy. I had been raised to think of death as part of the cycle. But when I held Meg, consoled her…that was when I really understood the love you felt for her. The love that feels like agony and madness, clenching at you…love that almost makes you more miserable than happy because you realize deep in your bones how fragile it all is, but at the same time…better than anything you’ve ever felt in your life. We shared such a raw pain together.” Silvus wasn’t looking at me, his dark eyelashes lowered, shadowing the depths of his eyes.

  “You don’t talk about Meg much.”

  “I can’t,” he said in a ragged whisper.

  I understood. We each had one past life with Alissa that felt like ours alone. Unlike the short lives of Lisbeth and Li Mei, who were both taken young by the cruel diseases of ages past, Silvus had more years with Meg than any of the rest of us had with ‘our’ incarnation. But Silvus was tighter with his emotions than anyone else in the clan. Meg was so dear to him that he rarely even said her name.

  I stood up and impulsively, I pushed Silvus’ hair off his forehead and then I made him look up at me.

  Silvus looked at me and I knew he expected that when I found my girl again, I would drop my affections for him. He had always been more of an afterthought. I wouldn’t say it was any different for him, but maybe we were both realizing that it had quietly grown more complicated in the past century when all we had was each other.

  “I’ll tell her now, Silvus. You’re right.”

  “There will be a light on the other side of it all,” Silvus said. “Just don’t expect to see it today.”

  Chapter Two

  Alissa

  I stirred when I heard the door creak. Calrose, who had been a tight ball curled against me, unfurled himself and immediately made a little ‘meep’ of hunger. Rayner picked up the cat and put him out the door, which probably wasn’t a bad idea. I had quickly realized that once Calrose was hungry he would tromp on your face and knock things off tables until someone fed him.

  “Good morning,” Rayner said. He looked pained, his walk still slow and careful, but better than yesterday. “I’m sorry to bother your sleep but that cat would have done it in another moment anyway. There’s something I need to tell you and I should have said so before now.”

  “Did they tell you?”

  “What?”

 
“The witches. Did they tell you…about the spell? I needed to tell you about it, too, but maybe you already know.”

  He sat down on the bed beside me. “What is it?”

  “Well, they said this is my final reincarnation.”

  His eyes glazed a little like some demon had possessed him. “So it is the last.”

  “But they said there is a way to break the spell on me so you would be able to…” I swallowed.

  “Turn you.”

  “Yes.”

  “You don’t know if you want to be a vampire.”

  “Well, who wouldn’t struggle with that decision?”

  “Jie and Thom,” Rayner said.

  “Well, I’m not Jie and Thom.”

  “No, and I’m glad.” I searched his gorgeous green eyes expect to find some anger at me for not wanting to be like them, at least not yet. But there was none. I didn’t understand what made him angry. He certainly had a temper but he wasn’t like the men in the Order.

  “We should break the spell first and decide from there,” Rayner continued. I could feel the incredible tension in his voice, and I wondered if it came from wanting me to be a vampire, or if it came from wishing his own life would just end. There was always an incredible tension in Rayner, like the wind up toy my little sister would wind until it would practically explode out of her hands. The only time I felt him let go was when he was lost inside me, claiming me with his body.

  “The witches said that we need a piece of my bone or hair from all seven lives,” I said.

  “I have all your hair,” he said. “Except for the two lives where we never found you…”

  “Dee said a picture or something I owned might work, but was less guaranteed.”

  “We’ll try to get the bones.”

  My eyes widened.

  “Really, what is a little grave digging compared to losing you again?” he said. “Old bones don’t faze me much. I’ve seen it all. Streets piled with corpses, men left to hang until the crows eat them…” Then he stopped talking abruptly. “Darling, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be talking about any of this. I didn’t come to talk to you about this spell. But what you’re telling me is good news. If we can free you from the spell of the Blessed Thrall, at the very least, Johannes will have no business with you anymore.”

  “You didn’t come here to talk about that. So…are you here to talk to me about my family…my sisters? Are they okay?” I tugged the blanket close around my shoulders. My great terror was that I wouldn’t be able to save my sisters and father before Father Joshua did something awful to them.

  “Your father said something to me.” He swallowed. “Before…”

  The panic in my chest grew more urgent, my heart beating so fast that my head swirled. “Rayner, no. He’s not dead. Right? You would have told me on that day!”

  “He died right in front of me. I’m sorry. I should have told you. I’m telling you now.”

  I shrank back from him. So that was it. I had actually started to trust him enough that when he slept with me, it was exhilarating. I felt something I didn’t think I could feel. But I never should have let my guard down for even a moment. Men just lie to you. Betray you. That’s all they do. Even Dad, when you come right down to it.

  “I fucked up. Badly,” Rayner said. “I’ve never dealt well with seeing you cry. I’m already so furious at Johannes. So—angry—and my temper—“ He fidgeted in his chair. He wanted to get up but his body was still too much of a mess. “The fact that I was unable to kill that man for you, at that time—“ His breath struggled to calm but I saw him force his anger down and he reached for my back.

  I flinched away. “Don’t touch me right now.”

  “Tulip…”

  “You should have told me that right away.”

  “I know.” His hand dropped into his lap, eyes blazing toward some unseen point, as hot and wild as distant suns.

  Can I trust this man? Can I trust anyone? I’ve never met anyone so volatile.

  In the Order, everyone controlled their emotions. Even Father Joshua’s evil was wrapped in silken words and manners. Maybe that was why my gut did trust Rayner, a little more than perhaps it should. Even when he was flawed and a little terrifying, he was honest. I felt that he would never lie to me just to get me in bed. He really was trying to protect me from the grief that, in this moment, I was holding at arm’s length.

  Dad…

  And Mom too.

  Both gone.

  I won’t be able to attend Dad’s funeral either. If they even give him one. What will Father Joshua say? Will he tell everyone that Dad betrayed the Order?

  It was so surreal to think that they were both gone. I felt like my body had just been dragged out of an icy river. All I could feel was cold shock.

  “My sisters…”

  “I’m aware that it’s even more pressing that we rescue your sisters,” Rayner said. “But now we know that Joshua is my sire. A powerful vampire with the backing of a whole posse of brainwashed warlocks and the aid of the magical councils. And if he’s willing to kill your parents, this is an armed hostage situation. We need help. Tulip, I have more to tell you. As your father was dying, he told me that he and your mother were not your real parents at all.”

  “What? That’s impossible! I have my mom’s eyes. Carrie’s too.”

  “Maybe you were given to them because of a family resemblance. Maybe you’re seeing what you expect to see. But it came straight from his mouth. Your real mother is named Eileen Bowen, he said, but we haven’t been able to find her on the computer. She must be a witch, anyway, so she might be difficult to find. Maybe she can tell us why you have magic, but no familiar. So we’re going to Savannah to see Ulf. He’s sort of the unofficial father of all vampires in North America. He always helps his own kind, when he can. His generosity has also earned him a lot of friends. If anyone will know how to find your mother and more importantly, get rid of Johannes, it’s Ulf.”

  “I hope he does.”

  “Trust me.”

  His potent gaze had shifted back to me. His face looked so young and so old at the same time. It was confusing and I couldn’t help but feel drawn to it. One moment a boy and the next, a demigod—or a demon.

  Trust him…?

  I had already given him my blood, my virginity, and in that moment when I was in his arms, I let my guard down and all I felt for him was love. By the light of day, it was so hard for me to trust anyone when everyone I had ever loved and every leader in the Order had allowed me to be engaged to Father Joshua, left alone with him, subject to his torment. It made me feel so confused about what was right and wrong. How could my parents, who seemed to love me so much, have actually stolen me from someone else? How could they have allowed Father Joshua to threaten me? How could I ever know that a man as tormented and twisted as Rayner wouldn’t hurt me too?

  I had no good answer for any of that, but when I thought of my parents, I couldn’t help the tears. My feelings were so complicated, but the pain was not.

  And when the tears started to fall, and Rayner reached for my hand, I clenched it. I needed something, anything, that could anchor me.

  When my grip didn’t let go, he moved close enough to put an arm around me. I knew every moment he made was painful to him, but his hand felt broad and safe. As if my body now knew mysteries that still confused my mind, I let myself draw closer and closer until I was melted against his hard chest, the collar of his shirt crumpled under my ear. His arms cradled me. I cried until my throat burned and my chest hurt, and an ache that was almost sweet settled over me.

  Chapter Three

  Alissa

  Certainly, the vampires could all be very tender when they wanted to be. Rayner held me until Jie rapped on the door and asked if I needed any breakfast. I had no appetite.

  “I told her the truth about her father,” Rayner said.

  Jie nodded. “I’m so sorry, Alissa. I’ll just wait for lunch and make something light.”

  “I’
m really not hungry at all. Maybe you could just…let me be alone. Are we going to Ulf’s?”

  “I wasn’t going to push you today,” Rayner said. “Tomorrow, maybe.”

  “All I want is to save my sisters. I don’t want to waste any time,” I said. “I want to go.”

  “That really sounds like my girl,” Jie said. “I’ll pack, then. I’ll pack yours too, Rayner. You look like shit.”

  Within an hour, we were locking up the house and packing into the car. They tried to give me the front seat again, but I insisted that Rayner have more room. He was still recovering from his injuries and I knew he would need to be able to move. So I was wedged in between Thom and Jie. They definitely didn’t seem to mind. Their long thighs hemmed in my smaller body. My mind was a confusion of the hollow grief that came from losing my father, worry over my sisters, and a newly awakened lust. It was only two nights ago that Rayner unlocked feelings and sensations deep inside me that I didn’t even know existed.

  Thom and Jie had hinted at even more wicked things. They came as a pair, it seemed. Thom’s low, seductive threat had never left my mind. I know every which way to tie you down.

  “Do you want to play the license plate game?” Thom asked.

  “Really?” Jie said. “The license plate game?”

  “She looks like she could use something to take her mind off her troubles.”

  It was no easy thing to square that feeling of anticipation with the worry and grief over my family. Each seemed to exist in its own room within my mind. Maybe Thom was right.